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“Don’t tell Kanade, but sometimes I think this whole ‘saving people through music’ thing is garbage.”
Ena spat those words with resentment, not even sure what had made think that way in the first place. She despited the taste of that statement in her mouth, though. There was something atrociously wrong about badmouthing Kanade’s efforts to help Mafuyu. That did not change the fact that these were no lies. She was bothered, so deeply bothered by that mentality, that there was a bit of relief in finally admitting it out loud.
Although, she still didn’t know why she told Mizuki, of all people.
“Really?” They mused, their stare lost in the horizon.
Ena hummed, unwilling to make further statements on the matter. She could easily let go of the topic now. She had said it already, no turning back. She’d have to deal with it.
“Do you not think art can save someone, Enanan?” Mizuki asked, taking a sip off from the juicebox they were holding.
“No. Or well… Maybe, I don’t know.” Ena frowned. She didn’t like these sorts of questions, much less from someone like Mizuki.
“I can’t say I don’t agree that Kanade might be a bit narrow minded,” Mizuki continued, smiling gloomily. “But I think there’s something special in someone going out of their way to make something meaningful for you.”
“I never said I didn’t think that.”
“Ah, yes, I know, I know.” Mizuki dismissed, finally turning to face her. “I was just… remembering a girl I met a long time ago. That’s not important, though, I’m just rambling.”
Ena huffed. Sometimes – most times, she did not understand Mizuki. That time in particular, though, she had no energy to dwell further on the matter.
It happened about a month ago, the appearance of a door in the Sekai. Ena had encountered it out of mere casualty. It stood lonesome in the vast field of nothingness, covered in worn-out white paint, leading to absolutely nowhere.
As they did with any changes within Sekai, Ena’s first instinct was to tell her bandmates; any weird phenomenon taking place in that world was ought to be a change in Mafuyu's emotions, after all. That time, however, she made the decision to inspect on her own, just for a little while.
First, she spun around it, taking a clear impression of its appearance from both sides. What had she been expecting to find? She did not have a clear idea, but she was still surprised the door was nothing out of the ordinary.
Deciding there was nothing else to be seen from it, Ena rested her hand in the door handle – it was cold and metallic, but still seemed like your everyday handle to her touch.
She had lightly pressed on it, deciding to open it, by the time a synthetic, robotic voice called out.
“Are you planning on going through the door?” The voice asked.
Ena turned around, spooked by the interruption, only to find MEIKO standing behind her. The Virtual Singer’s expression was stern, almost judgemental, as she stared coldly in Ena’s way. The artist shrugged.
“Am I not supposed to?” She confronted, her limbs shaking.
MEIKO shook her head.
“I see no reason why you shouldn’t.”
“Why’s this door even here?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Will you open it?”
Ena stopped. Virtual Singers were odd by nature, but in Ena’s eyes, MEIKO was the weirdest. She always loomed around them, watching them with a cold gaze. And yet, she rarely talked to them. In fact, Ena had almost forgotten what her voice sounded like.
“What happens if I open it?” She asked.
“I don’t know.”
At this point, Ena didn’t know why she even bothered.
“Then should I open it?”
“I don’t know. I’m just watching.” MEIKO declared, unmoved.
She growled under her breath. Curse MEIKO, if she was going to follow her around, she might as well be nice while at it.
“Fine, then, I’ll open it.” Ena claimed, wrapping her fingers around the doorknob once again.
However, she did not open it.
Instead, she turned her face to MEIKO once more.
“I’m not going to open a black hole or anything if I open this door, right?”
“I don’t…”
“Yeah, you don’t know .” She interceeded, not quite willing to get the same answer from MEIKO yet again.
She furrowed her brows, gripping tightly on the handle. Then, she did it, she opened the door.
Blinding light shone her way, engulfing her. She closed her eyes, uncomfortable with the brilliance.
Then, came the sounds of cars, the lively conversation of the passersby groups of students, and the unmistakable bustle of the city.
Ena opened her eyes to find herself standing in the middle of Shibuya.
“Wha- MEIKO, did you…?!” But as she frantically turned around to seek for an answer, she was quick to find out that the virtual singer was nowhere to be seen.
Actually, nothing was.
There was no door, no sekai, and no Virtual Singers in the myriad of the shopping district. Had she returned to the human world? Was there such an alternative to leave the sekai all along?
Such would have been the conclusion Shinonome Ena might have stuck with had it not been for the rare sight she caught in one of the buildboards.
‘CHEERFUL DAYS! NEW ALBUM! COMING UP THIS SEPTEMBER!’
Ena flinched as the poster depicted before the streets displayed a gleeful group of idols smiling on the add, amidst them figured a familiar face, with light blue hair cascading down her back.
Her cheeks were puffier, and her overall looks more youthful, but there was no mistaking; she was looking at one Hinomori Shizuku.
“You’re saying that door took me to the past?!”
A couple hours had passed since Ena had taken the leap and walked through the mysterious door in Sekai, and ever since then, the matter had not once left her mind. The despair of the situation was still very fresh in her memory; the dread of finding herself years away from her present self without knowing how to return — or if she’d ever get to.
She was quite lucky to find that Composing the Future did a good job at getting her out.
“That’s what I suppose.”
“Well, that’s stupid.” Ena snarled, scowling furiously at MEIKO. “No one can just walk into the past just like that, right?!”
But MEIKO just shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the statement with an aloof stare.
Ena sighed, she knew exactly how any interaction with MEIKO would go, and still she tried to get an answer out of her.
Right then and there, Ena had told herself that she’d tell the others about her findings as soon as she got home. But then she decided to take a shower, and after that she found herself a bit hungry, then to remember the homework she had been conveniently ignoring for the week…
In the end, she never shared the door she had found in the Sekai, and it stayed a little secret for her to own for a little while longer.
Before finding the door, Ena had always wondered of the thousands of things she would do if she got to travel through time — She’d fix a few mistakes, make some better paintings, render her dad speechless.
However, now that she held such power in her hands, she found herself too frightened to do anything about it.
It’s not like Ena forgot about the door. It’s not like she even tried to avoid it. She visited it often, opening it from time to time, diving into the past just to take a walk down memory lane; sometimes she’d ask for that nice bubble tea her favorite store had discontinued, or watch a movie that was no longer in theaters, but never do any meaningful changes on the course of events.
Eventually she started bringing her sketchbook with her; the past had turned out to be a marvelous sight to doodle to. Sometimes she’d sketch buildings, landscapes, other’s she’d go for people; on a couple occasions she stumbled upon teachers, classmates, random acquaintances who she'd sneak peeks towards from a cautious distance.
For the most part, she’d keep it safe and limit herself to drawing strangers; just from a quick glance, so as to not disturb them.
It was during one of these scoutings that she met The Boy.
He was a common sight during Ena’s time adventures. They frequented the same shopping mall, where Ena would buy that one limited flavor of ice cream that had not returned to the ice cream parlor in years now. Sometimes their gazes would meet in the distance; he was young and gloomy looking, and Ena was quite sure she had never met someone like him. Still, there was an eerie sense of familiarity to his appearance.
Maybe he thought he was being sneaky, but Ena could tell he stopped in front of the stores’ showcase, admiring the dresses, and skirts and frilly garments.
Ena sighed. There was something really sad in the somber grimace he never failed to wear whenever he walked out of the shopping center.
“You know,” Ena said once. She had told herself not to snoop her nose into other people’s business, but the days she had spent observing The Boy’s pacing around had triggered in her a certain sense of kinship. “If you like those so much, you could try them.”
She had spat those words rather aggressively, but there was a certain warmth to them Ena would not have been able to conceal even if she tried. He was nothing but a stranger, but Ena could not shake the feeling that, even if just once, she would like to see him walk away happily.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied defensively, avoiding her stare.
Ena huffed. This kid’s aloof and dejected demeanor was infuriating — a bit like Mafuyu’s , she thought.
“Then help me choose one,” she said instead.
“And why would I do that?” He growled.
“Well, I was thinking of renewing my wardrobe, but I have a hard time making a decision. Will you help me?”
She caught the instant of hesitation in the boy’s stance, but so did she catch the faint speck of excitement sparkling within his pearl-pink eyes.
“Fine, then, just for a bit.”
“Enanan, is that a new dress?”
As if forgetting her own clothes, Ena lowered her head, taking a brief look at the outfit she was wearing.
“Oh, this one, yes,” she replied, taking her focus off her work as she looked back at Mizuki. “I bought it the other day.”
Mizuki blinked, her eyes staring at her widened in amazement. Ena found herself wanting to shrink under her stare; she was quite fond of attention, but there was something in the way Mizuki was looking at her right now that made her insides tingle.
“W-what are you staring so much for?!” She asked, pink dusting over her cheeks.
Mizuki flinched, growing aware of herself.
“Oh, sorry! It’s nothing!” They dismissed, smiling goofily towards her. “I just… It doesn’t look like something you’d usually wear, Enanan!”
Ena hummed, cheeks still reddened, despite the frown hovering over her eyes.
“Someone else chose it for me.” She admitted, refusing to provide any more details on the matter, despite knowing this was the exact kind of thing that would get teasing and questions from the pinkette.
“I see…” Was all they said instead.
Ena told herself that she was lucky they had not gotten annoying, but truth was, deep down she did feel some concern towards their unenthusiastic reply.
“Look, I would love to buy all the clothes you make me try on,” Ena conferred whilst putting a skirt back in the hanger, “but the truth is I don’t have that much money.”
“It’s a shame.” The Boy answered, “I thought it suited you.”
Ena sighed. It was most definitely not the kind of garment she would have shopped for on her own, but her newest friend was right; it did suit her pretty nicely.
“Don’t you get bored, though?” She eventually wondered, staring at the pile of clothes they had selected — none of which Ena could afford to buy.
“Of what?”
“Well, always picking clothes for me.” Ena replied. “You can’t lie to me anymore, I can tell you like fashion. Don’t you ever want to try something yourself?”
He shrugged.
“But the clothes I like… It’s much better seeing them on someone like you.”
How stubborn, Ena mused.
Although in all honesty, she could hardly claim to hold anything against The Boy. After spending so much time with him, Ena had started to form an idea of his situation. It was sad; he was a good kid, she could tell, but people around him could hardly be kind to someone who went against the current.
And Ena knew just how hard and painful it was to resist other’s expectations.
In a surge of rage, Ena dug her hands into the clothes again, furiously pulling out a long, pale pink dress.
“Here, try this on.” She commanded, eyes thundering. “I saw you looking at it earlier, I know you like it. There’s no people around right now, so no one will see you. Just… go and try it. You don’t even have to show me.”
She practically pushed him into the changing room as soon as she was done speaking, and then took a seat on a nearby bench, scowling at her phone as if the screen had done anything to provoke her.
Then, she heard the sound of the changing room’s curtains sliding open.
She almost did not recognize the person coming out of it.
Had clothes always had such a strong impact on a person’s appearance? Even if they did, this was the first time Ena noticed. The Boy remained the same; he kept his light-pink hair, his scrawny frame, his worn out eyes. Now, however, there was a spark to him, wavering in the myriad of insecurities he wore atop his skin, a dreamy gleam in his stare, in his posture, splattered all over his face.
“You look beautiful.” Ena said, smiling warmly at him.
The Boy stopped showing up on the shopping mall after that, and without any way for them to stay in touch, Ena stopped seeing him.
Without her newfound companion, her visits to the past seemed less and less motivating. She kept them going, though, sketching the faces of strangers as she took the time to muse about her own struggles —if one thing was nice about the past, was that no one would ever bother her.
However, she eventually found herself on the day where her favorite dessert got discontinued.
“I’ll be going there for the last time next week,” Ena notified MEIKO shortly after reappearing into the Sekai. “After that, I’ll tell everyone about the door, and won’t walk through it again.”
MEIKO did not respond, although even if she had, it would have hardly mattered. All Ena needed was someone to hear her statement, to hold her accountable to her own words. Only that way, would she stay true to them.
She spent the rest of the week working on a personal piece. On a first instance, she had intended to draw a random silhouette, allowing her creative instincts to kick in and morph it into shape. Slowly, though, a familiar person started taking the spotlight of the canvas.
It was, unmistakably, The Boy.
I surely grew attached to him, huh? She mused, pausing on her efforts to finish her work as she took a look at her progression.
She thought back to the timid happiness he had welcomed the dress on him, the quiet sense of belonging Ena had traced as he pushed the curtain aside. That was beauty, Ena thought, in the saddest and truest form she had ever witnessed.
She got back to work, and decided on capturing that feeling with her art.
Ena brought the finished piece with her the day of her very last visit to the past. It was delusional, she knew, to think she might encounter her little friend once again on such an occasion — much more so to think that the present would do him any favors.
But as if fate had decided to support her on her endeavors, she did stumble upon The Boy once again. He was standing outside Ena’s favorite coffee shop, staring at her in a mixture of sadness and shame, pushing himself to smile as he shyly waved his hand her way.
She practically dashed out of the store to meet him.
“Where were you?! I haven't seen you around in so long!” She exclaimed in anger, although her eyes looked at him in concern and affection.
“Sorry…” He muttered. “I… hadn’t been feeling well.”
That was an understatement — Ena knew that much. He just resisted admitting that he had been avoiding her.
“Although if I’m being honest… I wasn’t really planning to come back.” He revealed. “I had fixed my mind in doing so… But then I heard that cake you like so much was getting discontinued, and I guessed that if I wanted to see you one more time, I’d have to come today.”
Ena opened her mouth to speak, about to get back at him for ghosting her like that. But he interrupted.
“Actually I… wanted to ask you a favor,” he said, blushing brightly. “I got a bit of money from my sister a while ago and… I wanted to buy some clothes. Would you mind… helping me choose some?”
Right then and there, Ena felt her heart light up. She couldn’t have helped the smile coming to her lips even if she tried to, and the excitement came to her face without even giving her a chance to conceal it.
“What?! Of course I would help you!”
It had been a while since someone’s words had made her this happy.
The Boy had burst into tears the instant Ena gave him the portrait she made. They had just left the store, a brand new dress folded neatly within the bag he was holding.
To Ena herself, it was bittersweet. That had been one of the most joyful afternoons she had in her life, but as the day came to an end, so did the certainty that it would be their goodbye. She had not said so to him, but there was a certain light in his eyes that told her he was aware already.
Part of her thought their farewells would be more dramatic, but after The Boy’s tears had dried and the sun had set, they just waved each other off with a smile before walking different ways.
Once she was sure that nobody was watching, she dragged her phone out of her pocket.
“Ah, so this is where you’ve been disappearing to, Enanan.”
The ring of her name in that mischievous familiar tone caused chills to run down her spine.
“M-Mizuki?!” She asked, not yet daring to believe her eyes as she spotted her bandmate standing behind her.
She stood there, frozen, looking at Mizuki for a solid minute. Ena was not supposed to stumble onto anyone she knew while she was in the past, or it at least had not happened up to date. Even if she did, she guessed she would stumble upon their younger selves, people who were yet to meet her.
And yet, Mizuki was there, as old as she had ever known her, and clearly recognizing her.
“What are you doing here…?” She asked, perplexed.
“Well, you have been acting weird lately.” Mizuki answered, a cheeky grin on her lips, “I had noticed you disappeared into Sekai but I rarely found you there anyways. Then Rin told me they had seen you around with MEIKO, and I thought ‘well, that’s weird’. So I followed the clues, and well… Ended up here.”
Ena bit her lip, lowered her gaze, tensed.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” She questioned back. “Sorry for what?”
“For not telling anyone, I…”
“Hey! It’s okay! You have nothing to apologize for!” They giggled back, approaching carefully, as the playful grin on their face softened into a warm, heartfelt smile. “If anything… I should be thanking you.”
Ena almost jumped the instant she felt Mizuki’s fingers interlocking with hers, heat rising up to her cheeks to the point where she felt they were burning.
“T-Thanking me?! Mizuki! What are you even talking about?!”
Mizuki giggled.
“You haven’t figured it out… Have you, Enanan?” They teased. “That’s alright, though, I can wait until you connect the dots.”
“T-The dots?! Mizuki, won’t you explain to me what’s going on?”
“Ha, who knows…” They laughed off. “That reminds me, my favorite movie should be in theaters around this date, what’d you say we go and watch it together?”
“Wha- Mizuki! You still haven’t explained what…”
“Come on, Enanan!” She conveniently exclaimed as she pulled on her hand, “We gotta’ hurry or we might miss the last show!”
Ena cursed under her breath. She hated Mizuki, and she would never understand them.
But even in that confusing annoyance that was their existence, Ena couldn’t help but love them at least a little bit.