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Pei Ming didn’t know what to do as Shi Qingxuan thrashed around his bed, the ropes holding him down doing their job in restraining the god. Or, well, the used-to god.
Shi Wudu sank into an ornate chair next to the bed and rubbed his temple, the Water Master's face aging beyond his many years with stress.
Pei Ming put a tentative hand on his shoulder. “Shi-xiong, surely there must be another way to deal—“
“There is none.” Shi Wudu swatted his hand away. “My tribulation is nearly upon us and my brother has gone mad. How else am I supposed to prepare without keeping him by my side until it’s over?”
“I understand your concern, but this is downright cruel.” The general put his foot down and moved to stand in front of Shi Wudu. “Let me take the Lord Wind Master into my care, I will look after him in my palace until your tribulation is over.”
The Water Tyrant stood and shook his head. “I will allow you to watch over him, but it will be done in my palace. You… Pei-xiong, you are a good friend, there’s none other that I would trust my brother with.”
Pei Ming flashed a smile that had wooed thousands of women in the past - save, one Ling Wen. “You can rest easy knowing that this Ol’ Pei will take care of everything!”
The smile that Shi Wudu gave him back made the general’s heart soar. But the smile was brief and fleeting as Shi Qingxuan launched himself into another screaming fit and his older brother forced a bowl full of foul-smelling liquid down his throat.
Pei Ming excused himself politely and marched through the Water Master’s palace to the front door. His original promise to help his friend through his tribulation had now changed, and he would be a damned man a hundred times over before he let anything happen to Shi Qingxuan.
~~~
What a nice sentiment that was.
Pei Ming was gentle as he scooped Shi Wudu’s body into his arms and averted his eyes from the corpse’s missing arms and head. The broken shackles on the ground told him that the Black Water Sinking Ships had stolen away with Shi Qingxuan.
And all the while, I was making coffins on the beach without a care in the world.
He carried Shi Wudu back to the beach where the ships of the other Heavenly Officials waited. He walked straight past them and laid the Water Master down in one of the coffins he had constructed that very evening. General Pei sealed the lid and let the Junior Officials take him away.
His face was stone cold the entire way back to Heaven. It was obvious that the other Heavenly Officials wanted to poke and pry at what had happened in the territory of Black Water Sinking Ships, but Pei Ming spoke to no one.
He stood silently as the report was given to Jun Wu. He stood silently as a funeral procession was planned for the late Water Master. He stood silently as he watched the procession move past the sparse attendees of only the most loyal and familiar faces, he could count on one hand the number of gods standing on the steps of the now dilapidated Palace of Wind and Water. He stood silently as the crimes of Shi Wudu were read aloud, but he left the Palace of Divine Might quickly as soon as the list was rolled back up.
He knew Ling Wen was following him. He did not look back as he burst through his own palace’s gigantic doors and stormed deeper inside.
“General.” The Civil God spoke calmly. She always spoke calmly. How could someone be calm right now?
Pei Ming ignored her as he ventured towards his chambers. He was never one to care about the appropriateness of a woman seeing his bedroom, so he did not slam the door in her face.
“General,” she chided, a bit more forceful this time, “you cannot hope to track down the demon He Xuan by yourself.”
“I can try!” Pei Ming’s fist struck his bedpost before he had even registered what he had gone into his room to do. Was he an idiot? Going back to Black Water Sinking Ships’ territory? What happened to all the times he had to hold Shi Wudu down to keep him from going off and getting himself killed by whatever monster he wanted to face?
~~~
Hands fisted into the Water Tyrant’s outer robe. “Don’t you hear yourself, man?! Most gods don’t even get a single Heavenly Tribulation, but a second ?! What about your brother?! Don’t you care what would happen to him if you failed?”
Shi Wudu had slapped him away. “I don’t care, I need more, I need more power!”
“Get a hold of yourself!” Pei Ming retaliated by smacking him in the face.
The two stood there, both shocked by the general’s incredibly offending action, before Pei Ming swallowed down the lump in his throat and fixed Shi Wudu’s clothing. The Water Master stood there in a daze as the red mark on his cheek faded.
“I’m… sorry.” Pei Ming stepped away and bowed his head remorsefully. Even though they were friends, he had crossed too many boundaries today. He backed out of the room just like he used to when he was a mortal general and ran before he saw Shi Wudu touch the side of his face.
When the Water Tyrant returned from his second tribulation, he went straight to the Palace of Ming Guang to drink himself into a stupor in celebration. It was one of the only nights in Pei Ming’s entire existence that he did not wake to a woman in his bed even after such an incredibly lavish party. Despite this, he was not at all upset at finding he had only the Water Master to share his hangover with in his home.
~~~
Pei Ming did not cry. He was General Ming Guang! He was untouchable! He nearly swatted Ling Wen’s hand away when it attempted to touch his cheek, lest she be accused of coming onto him. But Pei Ming was crying.
“A-Ming…” Ling Wen whispered despite the two of them being all alone. “You did all you could-”
“I could have done more. I-I made a promise to Shi-xiong that I would keep Lord Wind Master safe and I couldn’t even…” Pei Ming’s voice was softer than her’s. “I sat there on the beach all night trying to make those stupid fucking boats-”
Ling Wen grasped his hands, an action that was so unlike her, it shocked Pei Ming into silence.
“His Highness attested to your deeds, you followed orders and did the best you could to make sure the escape was ready when the others returned with the Lord Wind Master. You did all that you could and now the two of us keeping level heads is what the Heavenly Court needs, not you running back to the South Sea and getting yourself killed.”
Pei Ming pulled his hands free and rested one on his now broken bedpost. He ran a thumb over the cracks he’d made and grit his teeth to bite down more tears.
~~~
Pei Ming woke to find his bed empty. Not a fairly unusual sight, but he wasn’t quite sure what he expected.
Someone tore open the drapes covering his window and a harsh voice dragged him fully from slumber.
“Pei-xiong, it’s nearly noon.” The voice barked. “Stop making me do the job of your Juniors and get out of bed.”
Pei Ming opened his eyes to see Shi Wudu standing in his window with his arms crossed. Shi Wudu wasn’t dressed in his Water Master robes, no, he was in one of Pei Ming’s casual robes and his hair was pulled up by only a simple pin. The entire scene was just borderline obscene, even for someone like Pei Ming. This made him sit up straight and pull his nightclothes around himself tight.
“Shi-xiong, what are you-?”
“In your revelry last night, you spilled several goblets of wine on my clothes and I had to send them back to my palace to be cleaned. Don’t you remember? You lent me access to your wardrobe until my clothes were returned to me. You were lucky I had no plans for today.”
That made sense. Pei Ming put his hair up and pulled on his slippers before sliding out of bed. “I apologize if the partying was too much for Shi-xiong’s taste.”
“A little, but nothing that can’t be changed in the future.” Shi Wudu commented leisurely. “If it were up to me, there would be far less drinking and far more merit games.”
“Then it shall be done for my Shi-xiong.” Pei Ming bowed with a smile, missing the way the Water Tyrant’s eyes watched his movements carefully.
~~~
When tumors are removed from a body, one rejoices at the healing process. When Ling Wen accepted her imprisonment, Pei Ming felt that he was dying all over again.
Many, many Heavenly Officials called for General Pei to ascend the throne and become the new emperor. The courts were in chaos and the gods were divided between anointing His Highness Xie Lian and Pei Ming as the divine ruler. Neither seemed keen on taking the position.
“Why not approach Lady Rain Master about the position?” Xie Lian asked one day, the two sharing a humble lunch in Puqi Shrine one warm spring day. Pei Ming had done his due diligence and brought his own lunch to spare himself from a death by poisoning.
“I wouldn’t dare.” Pei Ming responded absolutely. “She and I don’t have the same causal history that you have with her. Besides, I think she would want to be emperor even less than you or I.”
“You have a good point.” The Scrap God conceded. “So who is best to ascend then if not you nor her? What about Lang Qianqiu, that is, His Highness Tai Hua?”
Pei Ming raised an eyebrow. “That child? Did he not kill you once?”
“In his defense, it was well deserved.”
“Still, that boy is too naive and hot-headed to rule anyone.”
Xie Lian frowned. “I believe he is learning to be better. After all, he agreed to look after that boy Guzi until Qi Rong is restored, though I agree that there is much work to be done.”
They ate in silence again until Pei Ming politely excused himself and returned to his palace. Was there really no one capable of ruling the Heavens and Earth who wanted the position?
~~~
“How on earth are you able to manage so many temples and shrines day in and day out?” General Pei lounged around the palace of the Water Master lazily. “Just how many Junior Officials do you have under your command, man?”
Shi Wudu looked over ledgers on his gilded desk not too far from where the general was laying on a plush couch. “Cultivation of the mind and spirit is all one needs. If this Pei-xiong requires a lesson in patience, one shall teach you.”
Pei Ming laughed as he sat up. “ You’re talking to me about patience?! The world truly has gone mad! The Water Tyrant himself is giving lessons on patience and ‘cultivation of the mind’, what a world we live in!”
He hadn’t registered that Shi Wudu had moved from his desk until two hands had grabbed onto Pei Ming’s collar and dragged him up and off the couch, dangerous eyes searing holes into his soul.
“Such an insult will not be tolerated in my home, do you understand?” He hissed out.
Pei Ming gulped and nodded, and was released. He slumped to his knees before Shi Wudu and made an apologetic face.
“I’m sorry for offending you, Shi-xiong.”
Shi Wudu sighed and helped him to his feet. “I’m overreacting, it is I who should be asking for your forgiveness. You just… remind me a lot of my brother.”
“To be compared to the Lord Wind Master is a fine complement, he’s a fine fellow!”
The look on the Water Master’s face said otherwise. “As much as you consider me reckless and unaware, his lack of self awareness vastly outpaces mine. You’ve seen what he forces the Earth Master Ming Yi to do, how little seriousness he carries himself with. I want to show him the importance of hard work and serious cultivation.”
“Well, you are certainly a good example.” Pei Ming offered. “If there is anyone more capable of showing little Shi Qingxuan what it takes to be a real god, it’s you!”
Shi Wudu laughed at that and returned to his desk. “I see the truth in your words and I thank you for the praise.”
Pei Ming watched him work in silence for a while longer before he got bored and draped himself over the gilded desk.
“Isn’t there any entertainment in your domain, Shi-xiong?” The general whined, not unlike a child.
Shi Wudu drew his fan and smacked Pei Ming on the forehead. “If this Pei-xiong wants to remain a guest in my house, he will do well to remember his manners and let me work. Don’t you have a mistress to be looking after or something?”
Pei Ming stood up and braced himself on the desk with his hands, giving the Water Tyrant a bright smile. “Nope! This Pei-xiong has his schedule free for just his Shi-xiong!”
Shi Wudu stared at him incredulously for a long while before snapping his Water Master fan in front of the lower half of his face and averting his eyes. “Careful, our Noble Jie may accuse you of picking favorites.”
The general laughed loudly, the sound echoing off the walls of the palace. “Then let her! After all, she is not the one I would follow into battle.” He missed Shi Wudu’s sharp inhale of breath. “Lady Ling Wen is wise beyond her years, but her abilities pale in comparison to Shi-xiong.”
The fan hid Shi Wudu’s expression well, but he still did not look General Pei in the eyes. “Do you claim this from a position of knowledge or a position of assumption because of Lady Ling Wen’s sex?”
Pei Ming went bright red and threatened the Water Master with a fist. “NOW LISTEN HERE-!”
~~~
The spiritual communication array was loud and chaotic. Several Civil Gods did their best to manage the noise, but the conversation still had to be moderated by several veteran Martial Gods. Today’s turn was Mu Qing, Feng Xin, and Pei Ming. Great.
The debates and arguments had all almost quieted down and a proper meeting of the Divine Court could almost be held… if it wasn’t for how Generals Feng Xin and Mu Qing tore into each other like the Junior Officials they were supposed to be moderating.
“If you’re so sure about your skills, why don’t you make a bid for the throne, huh?!” Mu Qing snapped across the array.
A vein popped in Feng Xin’s forehead. “Me?! Me ?! Why not yourself if you’re so cocky, you self-righteous piece of sh-!”
“That’s enough !” Pei Ming silenced them all with a shout. He rubbed his temple and had half a mind to dig Ling Wen out of her imprisonment to have her sort everything out, but he quelled the thought as soon as it appeared. They could do this without her traitorous eye-bags. “What seems to be the problem, you two? Mu Qing, speak first.”
Mu Qing jabbed a finger at Feng Xin’s shimmering form. “He claims that he has what it takes to become emperor!”
“Did not !” Feng Xin shot back. “I just said that I could do far better than the likes of you!”
They were about to explode again. Pei Ming had a headache. This would be around the time that Pei Xiu would jump in and bring up some obscure counterpoint to both arguments that would render them both speechless long enough for someone else to start talking.
Right, Little Pei was wandering the old Yushi countryside in exile. Pei Ming had to think of another alternative and fast.
“So both of you admit that you do not have a desire to become emperor, correct?” The general tried.
The other generals nodded stubbornly, but nodded nonetheless. Pei Ming sighed.
“So then there is no need to continue this silly argument. The two of you are supposed to be moderators of the debate, not join in it yourselves. I expect the esteemed Generals Feng Xin and Mu Qing to hold themselves to a higher standard than the others, especially after we fought side by side on Mount Tonglu.”
Both generals hung their heads and mumbled their apologies. General Pei accepted the apologies and the array slowly returned to conversation, all in attendance wary of their volume at the sight of Pei Ming’s furrowed eyebrows.
~~~
The last person Pei Ming expected to run into on the road was a short man with the wind in his step.
“Lord Wind Master-” he began to address before the man put a hand up to silence him.
“There’s no need to call me by my old title, General.” Shi Qingxuan’s smile was too bright, not at all fitting the stress that creased his eyes. “How have you been? It’s been so long.”
Pei Ming could have been polite, given him a simple answer of “you know how it is”. He could have been honest and unloaded to Shi Qingxuan about all of his stresses in Heaven.
But he did neither.
Instead, General Pei Ming got down on his knees and kowtowed to the mortal named Shi Qingxuan three times. Well, he only managed to bow three times before Shi Qingxuan made an unhappy noise and hauled him back to his feet.
“None of that, I just said I’m not the Wind Master anymore!” He stomped his feet on the dirt road. “Honestly, I didn’t think the mighty General Ming Guang would sink so low that he would bow to a mortal. The world has truly gone mad.”
Pei Ming still could not meet his eyes. “I… I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Those wide eyes blinked innocently at him, but Pei Ming could only imagine what they had seen.
“I made a promise to your brother that I would-”
Shi Qingxuan giggled. “Ge made a lot of promises, and ge made a lot of people make promises to him in turn. I’ve never once held any of it against his Pei-xiong, you were truly ge’s most trusted companion.”
~~~
Pei Ming watched red and white robes clash together in a warm, intimate embrace outside the shack that had become a home from a distance. He heard the laughter of a family reunited. It rang in his ears. He turned on the heel of his boots and walked off down the road.
Happy endings were wasted on mortals and lovers, Pei Ming once thought bitterly in a moment of drunken rage as he sat at the head of an empty dining table, but he couldn’t blame himself for the vacant seats. Mortals, gods, and ghosts, they all made choices that dictated the courses of their fates. It was only inevitable that the consequences of one's choices would catch up to them, both good and bad.
Heaven still had no emperor after a year. A year to gods was nothing, but in the mortal realm, this was quite an extensive amount of time for the changing of leadership. There was still much work to be done in all three realms. Pei Ming never considered himself much of a hard worker before now, but someone had to pick up the slack.
He returned to his palace and stared for a long while at his empty table, at the ghosts of merits being thrown about, scrolls being read aloud, candles being burned to the base of the wick, fans snapping in and out with enough sass to level mountains, robes of blue and black sprawled out with drunken flushes to cheeks. Luxuries of a bygone era that was fading faster than Pei Ming wanted to admit to himself.
Pei Ming was a fool, he knew that full well. A fool who only thought of where to find his next lay, that was what was thought of him for centuries, an accessory to the other tumors. The others earned the title of tumor because of their hard-to-appease personalities, yet unimaginable contributions to the Heavenly Court and Pei Ming was happy to be included among their ranks, even if it was only to add insult to his easy reputation. Now the Heavenly Court was missing both personalities and contributions and all that was left was the fool who only thought of where to find his next lay.
He stood on the steps of the Palace of Divine Might and stared at the empty throne for a long while. Yes, happy endings were for mortals and lovers, of which Pei Ming found himself standing among neither, but not wasted in the slightest. Above all else, Ming Guang was a general and above all else, a general’s duty was to his people; to serve them, to kill for them, and to die for them. A general did not just bow to his king, but to his people as well.
The Palace of Wind and Water was almost nonexistent now, the mortals who sustained it having noticed the lack of answered prayers and abandoned their gods. Not that the gods remained. The Palace of Ling Wen still remained as even in prison, she was still answering prayers with the help of her Junior Officials, but the grand palace had seen much better days before.
Pei Ming took a step towards the vacant throne. Then another. And another. Nameless Civil Gods bustling about the Palace of Divine Might watched with bated breath as General Ming Guang approached the gilded chair.
Pei Ming stared properly at the throne for a long while before taking the armrests in his grip and ripping, channeling a large amount of spiritual energy into his arms to throw the throne all the way out of the palace and onto its steps. Civil and Martial Gods nearby looked upon the desecrated throne in horror, but Pei Ming raised his voice before any of them could try to scold him.
“For how much longer will this court idolize a murderer and a traitor?” He jabbed an accusatory finger at the broken throne. “If this is the type of court that will look past such atrocities that one Jun Wu, no, that one Bai Wuxiang committed for the sake of preserving order and honor, then we are no better than the ones we call our enemies. Any who disagree may come challenge me face-on!”
“Are you finally establishing yourself as our emperor, Ming Guang?” A Martial God called to him.
Pei Ming shook his head. “There will always be one much more suited to this position than I, and there will always be one much less suited than I. How we judge who is worthy enough to call himself Emperor of the Heavens has always been determined by bloodshed. If that is something you all wish to avoid, I suggest you find an alternative to an emperor.”
He descended through the palace and down the steps, past the gilded throne, past the palaces of Wind and Water and of Ling Wen, past the palace of Xianle, and straight to the Palace of Ming Guang to rest.
Pei Ming touched the cracked wood of his bedpost that he never bothered to fix and sat himself at a blue-and-gilded desk that did not match the decor of the bedroom at all. The desk was littered with scrolls and ledgers and abacuses counting who knew what at this point, but Pei Ming smothered the urge to swipe his arms across the mess and instead pulled his chair closer and unrolled the first scroll.
There was still much work to be done in rebuilding the heavens, which was precisely why Pei Ming could not allow himself to fester as a tumor any longer.