Chapter Text
The moonlight caressed your lover’s face gently, casting a serene glow over her as she laid next to you. You wondered whether she could feel your gaze on her, as her eyes were closed, appearing as though she was sleeping. You knew her better than that though, knew that whenever she slept, the banes of reality took over and she had a hard time enjoying her slumber. She rarely looked this peaceful.
Suddenly, her eyes shot open and shot a playful, wicked look at you before grabbing you by the hips and flipping you, now laying on your back as she straddled you. You giggled as you felt her long, silky wisps of blonde hair tickling your neck.
“Heeeyy” You groaned at her antics. You felt tired, unreasonably so, and perhaps another night you would’ve said nothing but curl next to her and fall asleep in her arms. Tonight though, you felt different, a deep seated instinct telling you to sit with her, cherish her, for you always had time for her but never enough.
“S’ wrong, babe? You looked pretty interested there, see something you like?” Her hands reached up and pinned your arms above the bed, her face mere inches away from yours. It would be pretty easy to reach up and steal a kiss from her pink, plump lips.
“Of course, dear. I always do.” She lets go of your hands and helps you up, so you’re both sitting on the bed, bathed in the moonlight with the soft breeze that blows in through the window traversing through your hair. You wrap your arms around her waist and lean into her, basking in her pine scent and leaving soft, butterfly kisses on her neck. You feel her guttural sound of pleasure through her skin as she wraps her arms around your tighter.
“What’s on your mind, babe? Been acting weird all day.” She rubbed her hand down your back, as if encouraging you to go on, lay your frustration on her so she could console you with sweet words, then lie back down again and make you forget all about it.
You visibly tensed up, feeling your hands curling into fists and your breath hitch. “You know what I’m talking about. We’ve talked about this before, dear.”
“Babe I’ve-”
“What you do isn’t safe.” You pull back to look her in the eyes, and her expression reveals it all; grief, regret, yearning. A frown had curled on her face at the mention of the job she had chosen back when she was younger and careless. “I-I know we’ve talked about this so much. But I’m scared of losing you more than I am of anything else. I’m not asking you to stay at home all the time, but I’d be happier knowing that you’re out of harm's way.”
Her career field was known for its heavy casualties-working for the military was no walk in the park, that’s for sure. Part of you wanted her to always be with you, remain in this room forever watching the sunrise and sunset, the season changing. You wouldn't yearn for anything else; just you and Her, intertwined so intimately with one another that your soul merged with hers into one.
However, you knew that she also sought out the danger herself; she was an adrenaline junkie, and years of combat training had turned her into a genuine war machine, one that was highly requested on the battlefield. She couldn’t help it, to put it simply. To you however, she was the most loving, endearing wife you could ask for. You’d wait for millenia if you knew she’d come home to you, safe and unharmed, longing to cook her dinner and curl up on the couch together.
Back in the present, you heard her sigh. The knot on your neck became more prominent, and you tried to mentally shoo it away. You’d hate yourself for crying. As she felt your distress, she reached to tuck you back into the space between her neck and her shoulder.
“I know you’re scared for me, baby. I want you to know that I’ll never forgive myself for making you worry so much for me-you don’t deserve that. Please-please know I’ll always be alright.” She began to stroke your hair, trying to ease you out of your anxious state. She shifted with you in her arms, and you looked up at her in a deep state of thought, as if gathering the proper words for a confession. Finally, she gazed at you with a pained expression, cursing herself for bringing you in such obvious melancholy.
“I have something to tell you.”She uttered, inspecting your face for any sign of tears. Instead she found you looking composed, accepting even. Like whatever it was she was about to tell you, you had come to terms with it. Because you weren’t mad at her-heaven knows you never have been. Perhaps sullen at the cruel humor of fate and the games it had entangled you in.
“You’ve been deployed” You whisper softly, revealing her imminent departure like a well kept secret. She gasps, unsure of what to say. Her azure eyes start to swim in tears, confirming your words more than anything she could say. It wasn’t all that unfamiliar to you. Sooner all later, she would pack her things and travel to some vile hellhole, passing out orders and writing you letters that would be delivered within a month’s notice. And you’d always read them carefully, savoring any segment that was so very her like the finest of wines. You’d remind yourself to be patient, and that good things come to those who wait.
“How did you find out?” She stumbles, seeking a way to comfort you, to let you know that everything’s gonna be alright even if it’s not.
“The-the letter that came in the mail yesterday. You left it on the coffee table and I-” You can’t bring yourself to go on. What’s done is done anyway.
“Baby” She cups both your cheeks in her hands, trying to decipher your expression. “Are you angry at me?” You gesture no with your head, your eyes cast downwards in her chest, where a locket rested in between her breasts.
“M’ not mad. Just, you know, I’ll miss ya.” You reach up to toy with the pendant, rubbing small shapes with your fingers on its cold, metallic surface. She flicks it open and a picture of your wedding day greets you, smiling fondly at the memory.
“Hey” She starts, “I’ll be back before you know it.” She lies down on the bed, taking you with her, as you lay your face on her pillow, so close your noses bump in a small eskimo kiss. “Don’t I always come back to you?”
You inch closer to her, dipping your hand under her shirt to feel the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat. Right now, as she lied close to you, she had never felt more alive, more vibrant. No matter the circumstances, she always came back to you, one way or another.
“Yeah” You whisper, as you are lulled into a dreamless sleep. “Yeah, you do.”