Chapter Text
He felt so... Cold. And alone.
This was not how it was supposed to happen. Technically, it was never supposed to happen in the first place, as impossible as it was.
But here he was, writhing in his bed as the ever-increasing pain slammed into him every time he tried to breathe. Maybe he shouldn’t try to breathe at all? Maybe then the pain would go away.
But no, even if he held his breath, the pain just knocked out whatever remained in his lungs, making him desperately gasp for air like a drowning man. In a way, he kind of was. Drowning in what seemed like loneliness and fear. Because of what had happened. Because of the damned fetus. Because he had pushed everyone away.
He only had himself… And he was pretty sure he’d lose himself soon, too. He wouldn’t survive this. Not this horrible and terrifying pain that just wouldn’t let up. He was going to die, and there wouldn’t be a single soul to remember him. No one to mourn him. This was the end.
Aiden cried.
“Young master, are you quite alright?”
“... Hm…?”
“I said, are you quite alright, Young master?”
Looking up at the figure above him with bleary eyes, Aiden slowly woke up. Looming above him was the red haired house butler, Ember, who looked very concerned and a little stern.
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” Aiden replied, yawning loudly as he stretched. Then he looked at the clock on his nightstand, which told him that it was long past time to get up.
Aiden had slept in, like he usually did every morning, so why would the butler come wake him up?
“Young master, might I remind you that it’s past noon and that you have a party to attend today?” The butler said as he started to find the young man’s clothes from the closet.
Apparently that didn’t bother Aiden at all, as he turned his back to Ember and simply replied: “So what? I don’t care.”
“You really should care about your future fiancée.” The butler tutted, then came out of the closet with a nice suit.
The mention of Aiden’s future fiancée made the boy groan loudly. He pulled the pillow over his face, and the muffled voice that could be heard from it let Ember know about his true feelings. “I’d rather be shot dead than get married.”
A sigh, then another tut from Ember. “So you say. But, you really must be getting ready… Whether you like it or not.” And at the last word, the butler took the duvet from Aiden’s grasp and pulled, making Aiden yelp out as he suddenly felt the cold of the room.
“You bastard!” Aiden exclaimed and grabbed his pillow to throw at Ember. But the butler was already on his way to the door, avoiding the pillow effortlessly and smiled a little mischievously.
“I trust you to be able to dress yourself and show up in the grand hall on time.”
Aiden just growled, and while Ember left the room, he said under his breath: “Now, who works for who?”
Now slightly improperly dressed and wide awake, Aiden went down the stairs and into the grand hall which had been decorated with the winter flowers and plants that January could offer.
Here he saw the whole room full of people, all staring at him when he walked in. He felt a little awkward and very much paranoid. Were they judging his shoulder length blond hair? Had he forgotten something? Or was it because he was so late?
Either way, Aiden went over to his parents where he politely kissed the cheek of his mother. She looked a little stressed, and when he was about to draw back, she whispered into his ear. “Where have you been! This is your bethroel party!”
Aiden grew pale at that, but he knew this day would come sooner or later. At 21 years old, he was in his prime for marriage and producing heirs to carry on his bloodline, as well as make sure the family fortune didn’t fall into the wrong hands.
There was just one sad thing about that: Aiden wasn’t interested in carrying on the bloodline at all. Babies were messy, loud, and when they grew up, they were annoying. And then there was the other thing…
Aiden was gay. He’d known he was homosexual since he was a teenager, and so, when he looked at his wife to be, he felt very uncomfortable about having sex with her.
She was kind enough, though. Edith Bradford, with the big brown eyes behind the round glasses. She was just so boring… The only thing that was interesting about her was her playing the piano. But she was also really good at that, having mastered it at an early age.
However much he envied her piano playing skills, he himself was an expert at playing the violin, and having played it countless times at events and parties, he was no stranger at performing for crowds.
“Go say hello to your fiancée, son.” Father said, stern as alway.
And so Aiden sullenly went over to Lady Edith, kissing her hand politely, but the kiss lacked passion and sincerity. Not that Aiden cared.
“H-Hello, Mr. Fairflax…” Edith said, doing a little courtesy. She was still stuttering around him, shy and awkward. Aiden hated it.
“Hello, Lady Edith. How are you?” He asked politely, but it was all for show. He didn’t really care about her well-being, nor her person. All he wanted to do was get out and drink, have fun with random people, and sleep in. This life? Boring.
“I-I’m good… How a-are you?”
“Fine.” Aiden replied with barely concealed disinterest.
And then they stood there, awkwardness spreading from them to the other guests, who quickly seemed to notice the atmosphere.
“Uh, music!” Father said and clapped his hands twice, and luckily the band started to play immediately, which meant that Aiden had a reason to break out of the horrible conversation with Edith.
“I have to go, I’m supposed to play in the orchestra.” Aiden said, leaving Edith behind and letting out a sigh of relief when he stood at the orchestra.
“Let’s play something good.” Aiden smiled as he led the musicians into a Quadrille like piece, which the guest immediately began to dance to.
Hours passed before evening finally came, and the biggest event of the party took place. But Aiden didn’t know what to do when he was told to get down on one knee.
“Uh…”
“Come on, son, propose to Lady Edith.” Father pressed on. Mother looked very distressed. This wasn’t good.
He was supposed to do something grand, wasn’t he? Words had never been Aiden’s strong suit, he was better at letting out his feelings by playing the violin. But he had to try. If he wanted to be a lord, he had to marry Edith. But was that what Aiden really wanted? Or was it just his parents who had planned out his life for him?
“Lady Edith… I hereby ask for your hand in marriage. I will bring, uh… Wealth to the family, as well as to you.” That wasn’t a complete lie, but Aiden just couldn’t force himself to do better than that.
But apparently it was enough.
“Yes! Yes!” Edith’s eyes were shining with tears, but they were of happiness. And as a silver ring with a big, fat, stone in the middle was given to Aiden, he gave it to Edith, sliding it on her delicate finger. It looked completely out of place on her tiny hand, too big and too heavy.
But the room erupted with cheers and applause anyway. Aiden felt sick, but he had to play it cool, so he just smiled politely and looked to his parents, who nodded in acknowledgement.
“The marriage ceremony will be held in 6 months!” Father bellowed, trying to drown out the noise, but it only grew as the people in the great hall heard the great news.
All around there were happy faces. But not Aiden.
Aiden’s eyes went wide when he heard the date of the wedding. 6 months from now! His life was going to end in 6 months, when he was going to get married to Edith. Little, shy, nerdy Edith, who was more grey and dull than a mouse.
He couldn’t take it anymore. This was too much… And he felt so sick. So he fled the room.
On the way, he bumped into Ember.
The anger and disappointment of not getting to decide his own fate made tears appear in his eyes, and Ember noticed it immediately.
“What’s wrong, Young master?” Ember said, catching Aiden just as he was about to fall.
And that was all he needed to burst into tears.
He couldn’t even speak properly, so Ember took Aiden to the younger master’s room, sitting the young man on the bed.
“Try to take a deep breath…”
And Aiden tried. After a few moments, he was breathing at a normal pace, but he was feeling far from comforted.
“They… They just don’t care… They don’t care about me! Nobody cares about me!” Aiden said, voice thick with tears. But suddenly the boy with the golden hair was embraced by the butler, and, in one, confused moment, the air stood still.
“Aiden, people do care about you… And so do I.”
Aiden couldn’t see Ember’s face because his face was on the other man’s shoulder, but he could hear that Ember’s breath was coming in hard; Ember was nervous.
And then Aiden did something he never should have done: He kissed Ember.
And Ember did something he, too, shouldn’t have done: He kissed Aiden back.
It was a desperate kiss that tasted salty because of the tears on Aiden’s face, but that didn’t bother either of them. And before they knew it, their desperate kissing had turned passionate and hard.
It was only after they’d done it, that Ember realised what he had done. While Aiden slept peacefully, completely passed out because of his exhaustion, he softly caressed the silky straight, but a bit tousled hair, and counted his options.
But at the end, he came to one good conclusion: If Aiden could keep his mouth shut, then he wouldn’t get fired. Besides, it wasn’t like Aiden could get pregnant.
It took some time before Aiden woke up again the next morning. When he did, it was to a great pain in his bottom and a headache that made even a hangover pale in comparison. What happened yesterday…?
And then it all came flashing back: The wedding in 6 months, the run in with Ember, the many tears that were shed… And the sex.
He flushed from head to toe, surprised that he even dared to do it with a lowly servant, but if you can’t find others, they’ll do in a pinch.
As Aiden looked around, he realised that he was alone in the bed. There were no clothes on the ground, which probably meant that Ember had been there to clean it up. Speaking of Ember… Where was the bastard? Had he really left him alone after such a messy round?
It seemed like it, and Aiden gingerly got up, careful not to make too many sudden movements as he walked to the bathroom. Here he showered, brushed his teeth and overall got ready for the day. There was just one problem: Aiden didn’t know how to dress himself properly.
But there was no need to worry, because in came Ember, carrying some clean clothes that had just been washed and dried. They smelled heavenly, and Ember walked into the bathroom to let the young master put them on.
“Good morning, Young master.” Ember greeted, ever the faithful butler.
Aiden gasped in surprise at the sudden voice and instinctively covered his genitals with his hands.
This made Ember grin cheekily, and he put the clothes on a table as he spoke. “Come now, no need to cover up. After all, it’s not the first time I’ve seen you naked.”
The young master’s face turned into a light shade of red at the hazy memories of the many pleasurable touches that ghosted his skin, but he refused to let himself appear embarrassed. “You, you jerk! I… I-”
“Enjoyed it, yes?” Ember cut Aiden off, which in turn only made Aiden flush even more. “What a coincidence; so did I.”
“You can’t just pretend it was fine what we did!” Aiden yelled, now no longer covering up. He was too angry for that.
“Oh? Why not?” Ember got close, a finger under Aiden’s chin as he forced the smaller man to look up at him. “If you don’t say anything, and I don’t say anything, who’s to find out?”
Aiden found himself at a loss for words, because Ember was right. They had both enjoyed it, and if neither of them said anything, they could keep doing this for a long time. But… “It feels wrong… Somehow.”
This didn’t stop the butler. “Young master, there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun… Especially when you’re going to get married to a girl you don’t even like in less than 6 months.”
That was it. Ember had pushed a button in Aiden, and they both knew that he had. They could fool around for a bit until the wedding date, but then they’d have to break it off, which was more than okay with Aiden.
“Just, promise me one thing.” Aiden said as his hand came up to remove Ember’s finger from his chin.
“Promise? My, you’ve got some nerve… But fine, I’ll bite. What is it?”
“No romantic feelings involved,” Aiden said. “This is just sex, nothing else but that. Got it?”
Ember snorted, then chuckled a little. “You’re a man after my own heart, Young master. I’ll gladly agree to this rule, as long as you don’t blabber about this to anyone.”
Offended, Aiden crossed his arms in front of his naked chest. “Of course not. I’ve got more to lose than you by revealing this secret.”
“Then it’s a deal, Young master.” Ember said as he held out his hand for Aiden to shake.
Aiden took the offered hand and shook it twice. “It’s a deal.”