Work Text:
“I have no purpose if I don’t protect that precious person in my life.”
Haku’s words kept resonating through his head. Echoing, it wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t shut up, no matter how hard he tried to block it out, he couldn’t. He isn’t strong, he can’t protect anyone, he can’t even protect himself. All he is a dead last, a loser, an annoying idiot without any friends or family.
Couldn’t protect himself when he was a young child, can’t protect himself now either, ninja or not. He always needs someone else, he always needs someone to protect him. Whether it’s Sasuke or Iruka.
Sasuke, he’s strong, he’s admired by all, he’s agile, he’s fearless, and he doesn’t everything, he doesn’t create emanate danger for his teammates, Naruto’s has always known he’s extremely different from Sasuke but never knew how different. It was like he was the complete opposite, another side of the moon.
Sasuke was never precious, even the day they became part of one team. He’d never felt a pang in his heart when Sasuke was in danger. It was the truth, or at least the one he told himself. Because the truth is, that it’s a lie, he feels as if his heart’s going to explode.
“Do you have anyone special in your life?”
Sasuke, throwing himself right in front of him. Hearing the needles tear through his skin, the blood seeping out almost immediately. It should’ve been him, after all the times Sasuke has saved him, this time should’ve been the time when he saved Sasuke. To prove himself to him, to show him that he isn’t this stupid, helpless Naruto, but Sasuke would never see that anymore.
His last memory will always be Naruto be pathetic, too powerless to do anything.
Sasuke should’ve beat it, he should’ve scoffed off his injury as nothing. He fell on his arms, his weight was on his arms, now the weight of his life sat on his shoulders. Naruto’s shoulders, it was his fault, he was too weak, Haku was just doing what he was told to do. What he thought he was supposed to do.
Now he did what he thought he was supposed to do, kill Haku, the person who murdered his precious comrade. A red, hot rage flowed through him at that moment. He had to kill, kill, kill.
It felt as if he wasn’t really controlling his body, it wasn’t him who had that strength, the strength to kill Haku. It was that sinister, lethal energy that had the power to protect Sakura, Kakashi, Iruka, himself. But it wouldn’t bring back Sasuke.
Naruto woke up gasping for air. He was in a tent, he wasn’t on the bridge anymore.
He was alive. But what about Sasuke?
Panicked, he looks around him, and there he was, he could see the silhouette of his slightly parted lips, his inky hair, his ski slope nose, he was there. He was alive, he was alive, but what if this was just a doll, they made extremely life-like dolls these days so it could’ve been a doll, he needed to make sure. He was kind of far from Sasuke (as far as you can be in a small tent with two 12-year-old boys), he scooted closer to him.
Lightly, he put his head on his chest, he could hear a heartbeat, he was alive. He wasn’t dead, he didn’t kill Sasuke, he felt Sasuke’s throat vibrate, it was soft and comforting.
“What are you doing?” A sleepy Sasuke murmured. He didn’t push Naruto off, he was still injured and didn’t want to do sudden movements if he didn’t really need to (that, and he was still half asleep).
Sasuke’s voice startled Naruto, but it was still more confirmation that he was still alive. “Just checking if you’re still alive.”
“Of course I’m still alive, you idiot,” he was pushing the blond off (lightly, like when you push your dog’s face off your lap) and sitting up now. He felt a stabbing pain at his core and flinched slightly. This worried Naruto.
“Yeah, of course, but are you sure you’re okay.” Naruto was now squinting, to make out Sasuke’s face in the dark, to see if he was bleeding anywhere.
“Yes, I’m okay, why are you so worried?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, it’s not like Naruto saw it anyway. He lit up a candle.
“No reason, it just that you almost died in my hands today.” Naruto sped through that last part.
The black-haired boy could have just said goodnight to the blond, passed it off, not done anything, been the same indifferent bastard he’s been to Naruto. But he was curious.“What did you just say?”
The blonde repeated his words, leaving Sasuke with a weird feeling in his stomach. “But I’m here, you carried me back to the kid’s house, you helped put on my bandages, we left the Land of the Waves, we decided to camp out, we’re sleeping out here now, you even made sure I fall asleep before you tonight, did you have a dream about me or something? Is that why you’re freaking out, dumbass?”
It was just a joke, really. He’d never expected that Naruto actually had a dream of him and agree to it (not really agree, more like look away and just prove that it was true). Why did Naruto have a dream about him? And one that left him so scared.
“I’m fine, Naruto, really,” his voice coming out warm. And he doesn’t know what made him do this, but he did it anyway. Sasuke hugged Naruto, which was already odd. But then Naruto started crying, and Sasuke didn’t let him go, actually he just held him tighter.
Sasuke let Naruto sleep with him that night, arms, and legs around each other. It was just one of those moments that you really can’t tell anyone, a bit too private, a bit too sensitive.
When the sun hits, this vulnerability will go away. Hate will always be more important than love. War will always be more important than peace. Revenge will always be more important than your team.
That’s just the ways things are bound to be.