Chapter Text
Augustine truly did not think this through. When the idea came to him a few nights after his parents sat him down and broke the news, He thought he was an geneious! It would solve everything. Having to see his mom and dad go though the whole process of selling the house and moving out. Not to mention, alternating weekends with his mom…Right now and for the foreseeable future, he would do anything to avoid that. August could only imagine it being unpleasant at the least and mildly suicide inducing at the worst, if he is feeling dramatic.
Which he was, feeling dramatic that is. Something about the cold, silent air of August’s bedroom at three in the morning, The feeling of time being liminal, like nothing else exists outside of the four poster-ridden walls, always makes his brain think he can do anything, like suddenly out of nowhere deciding to become a five-star Chef by binge watching every single episode of bon-appetit test kitchen. Or randomly gaining the motivation to transform his physic two weeks before break ends by following a single Chloe Ting workout video, but skipping all of the jumping because well, it's three in the morning and his parents are asleep downstairs.
This time however, his three in the morning delusion led him to his current reality. He will admit, going to his mom with the cheesy powerpoint presentation he made about why boarding school would be the best thing for him after he refused to talk to her for a week, was probably teetering on the edge of being manipulative. But at the time, he found little shame in his well-devised plan.You can pretty much justify any morally-unjust action when your Mom recently admitted to her sixteen year-old son and her husband of 25 years that she had been unfaithful in their marriage with her boss of all people.
It all went a lot faster than he had envisioned. They broke the news during summer, that way the move wouldn't have interfered with August’s school work and thanks to his somewhat good grades and rather impeccable attendance record (Just because his dad didn't know about the cheating didn't mean being at home was all that great…His mom didn't cheat for no reason, and school was always a great way to escape hell for a few hours) He was able to apply for a scholarship and get accepted to attend the one boarding school he found online that was still accepting new students this late into summer. St.Milton’s Academy for Boys.
Getting to St.Miltons was already too much for August.. The stress of getting on a plane without his Mom or Dad made him restless. Having never left the west coast before, Jumping on a plane with nothing but himself and his duffle bag from summer camp, trading coasts to live in Maine sounded fake. But here he was, duffle bag in tow, his childhood stuffed shark plush hanging out of the mesh outer pocket for everyone to see, boarding a charter bus to take him to his new life. Actually, being just stressed in an understatement, August is terrified.
“Augustine Harrington?” The scary women with the crooked nose called his name seconds after him and twelve other boys, who were definitely younger than him, offloaded their things from the bus and lined up outside the large, intimidating brick building adorned with gold cross embellishments knockers on both of the large black front doors.
“Yes?” August sheepishly puts up his hand, of course all eyes gravitate to him,
“A simple ‘present’ would suffice.” The woman says with a slight twinge of annoyance in her voice that immediately steals August's ability to speak. He simply nods in response. The woman finishes taking the roll. Everyone else gives her a firm ‘present’ in response to their names being called following August’s blunder. He has never wished someone named Aaron Anderson would have been by his side more then in this moment…
“My name is Priscilla Constentine, But to all of you, I'm Mrs.Constentine or simply enough, Headmaster Constance.I make the rules here at St.Milton and enforce them, so see to it you follow them…” The headmaster looks down the row of students, Her beady black eyes stopping on August. “The lot of you, besides you, are all freshmen. The head of your floor and the person who you will come to with any questions you may have about your living situation is waiting for you just past those doors on the first floor, you are dismissed.”
Augusts watches as every single one of the other boys bealines for the two large black wooden doors, disappearing behind them without even looking back. The Headmasters eyes still laying rest on him.
“Follow me. Since you're our only new sophomore, I'll just show you to your room myself, no use bothering your RA for one student.” August once again just nods and follows the women through the same black doors, but instead of going straight, She abruptly takes a left, leading to a large wooden staircase. “The sophomore dorms are on the fourth floor, don't ask me why, I make the rules not the floorplans, and yes, before you ask, there is no elevator, this building was constructed before such frivolous things were put to use.”
The trek to the fourth floor is less than pleasant. Still carrying his duffle bag on one shoulder, combined with the lingering heat of summer and the humidity everyone back in California warmed him about, makes for his entire person to be coated in a thin layer of sweat by the time they reach a door marked 301.
“What the fuck! Come on-no your left!---Your other fuckin left you cock-suckin piece of-” The headmaster opens the door with out announcing her presence, the loud screaming from beyond it stops abruptly. “I gotta go.” August follows in her footsteps, taking his first glance into the room, seeing a boy with start black hair taking off a gaming headset that's glowing red.
“Mr.Wright. I do hope you atleast completed some of your summer reading and chores before you started playing…whatever that is?” She motions to the computer monitor tucked away on a dark oak corner desk.
“Counterstrike.” The boy replied casually, rolling his desk chair away from his desk and towards one of the two lofted beds taking up most of the room. “This him?” He motions to August, before bending down and opening something under his bed, and pulling out a large green and black energy drink.
“Augustine, meet Maxwell, Your roommate and the constant pain in my side. Be nice, and get along. He is in most of your classes besides swimming, so i'm sure you will be more than happy to help him out when classes start?” Maxwell offers a tilt of his drink to the Headmaster, who just shakes her head at the gesture before making her exist, leaving August awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.
“You can call me-Aumax” The two boys words intersect into one jumble of words,
“August,”
“Max,” They both say, this time being able to understand each other. “Okay look, This is my side, obviously. There should be uniforms and shit in your wardrobe, I had to clean my shit out with very little notice thanks to you so If it's a little sticky, it's just from spilled booze, confiscated now, of course. Didn't get the chance to clean it, not like I would have anyways… but yeah, If i'm not back before lights out, cover for me yeah?” August can barely move out of the way before Max is walking past him, quickly grabbing a gray and blue suit jacket off of the back of the door and throwing it over his shoulder.
“Hold on! What time is light’s out?” August asks quickly, his voice feeling tense in his throat,
“Whenever our lame ass RA decides he is done studying!” Max shouts, halfway down the hallway. The door slowly creaks shut, closing out any of the cold air that the breeze from the hallways opened windows was letting in.
August lets out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. The air that left his lungs was probably what was left inside of him of california. The reality of where he is and what he is doing seems to settle into the quiet loneliness of the dorm room.
“Maxwell Wright…Sounds like a rich-kid name but…” August says to himself, looking around the furnished side of the dorm. The computer is clearly the main focus of his roommate's side. The desk has multiple empty cans of energy drink placed randomly, not a care in the world for the faded circles the cars have clearly left all over the dark stained wood desktop. Nothing about him screams 'vaguely religious private school kid’ besides his name.
Random posters line the walls above Max’s bed. The largest one being a spiderman:homecoming poster, with Tom Holland front and center. August takes a second to appreciate his roommate's taste in movies…or more his taste in men. At Least that's why August has seen any of the Spiderman movies from 2016-present.
August looks closely between both of their beds, noticing they share the same bedding. Clearly, it's been provided by the school. This brings his attention to his side of the room, and he decides its best to take advantage of having his room to himself for the afternoon. He wastes no time throwing his duffle down and stripping the bed.
At first he thought he could get away with it. The color difference between his special white sheet and the default white that bed was made with aren't that different, but the texture is far too obvious. If he wasn't to make his bed completely one morning, someone would be able to tell the sheet he was sleeping on is more coated, rubbery and thicker.
He begrudgingly puts the thin cotton sheet on top of his waterproof sheet, being only slightly annoyed that that means when the invendible happens, he will have more laundry to do then he would have liked. But he quickly accepts that hiding his nighttime problem is more important than reducing his trips to the laundry room.
He finished unpacking, giving his very sticky wardrobe a wipe down before placing his runners and shower shoes in the bottom of it. The only decoration he technically brought is his stuffed ikea shark. He decides it's not as embarrassing as a teddy bear and throws it up by his pillows, making a mental note to look for a magazine or two at the store (do they even get to go off campus to the store?) to get some posters to hang up. Feeling content with his side of the room for now, and feeling like his skin is going to ment off from the lack of air-conditioning, he decides he should have a look around and find out where a few other important rooms are.
His floor seems to be all bedrooms. He looks around every corner of the large square building but finds nothing but wooden doors with gold number plates, the occasionally one having a funny/mildy crude doormat placed in front of it. There is a small common area at the top of the stairs with a microwave oven and fridge, but other than that, nothing.
He ventures down the next three floors and finds the same thing. The only difference he spots between the two is that floor three has different flooring then the rest, possibly due to a renovation that was done at some time, not what he was looking to find.
When he gets to the first floor he spots his first sign of life. A guy with blonde hair similar to his is sprawled out across one of the large green sectionals in the common room. Immediately when stepping into said room he sees the sign for laundry. Not ideal, but better than it being in a whole different building. He would have to be sneaky, so as to not get caught running through four flights of stairs with soiled bedding, but it wasn't the end of the world.
“Hey! I thought everyone arrived earlier? Did you need help finding your room?” August is started by the high pitched voice seemingly addressing him. He turns around and sure enough, the lounging boy is now sitting up with a bright smile on his face.
“Oh- No! I got here earlier, I'm on the fourth floor…” He awkwardly motions upwards, as if it's not obvious that's where the fourth floor would be.
“My bad! I thought you were one of my freshmen, but still, Can I help you with anything or are you just exploring?” The boy laughs gently, standing up from the sofa and walking over with his hand outreached, “I’m Rowan.” August reaches out and introduces himself, the one question he has lingering in his throat.
“Floor four you said? Were in the same year then! Sophomores are always freshman R.A’s, Juniors are Sophomore R.A’s, Seniors…well they are their own R.A’s but between you and me, they don't really do much besides routine candle checks.”
“Candle checks?” August asks, not the questions he wanted to ask, but it's what slipped out in his curiosity.
“Banned item. You know like Hair straighteners,” Check, August thinks to the red and blue mini flat-iron he uses for his bangs every morning sitting on his desk in his dorm currently., “Candle and incense,” He brought the lavender incense his aunt gave him as a parting gift to ‘help him sleep in the dorms’ when she found out he was coming here…”and like hotplates and other cooking things that heat up, Basically if it can make a fire, you aren't allowed to have it.”
“Oh okay, yeah don't have anything like that.” August smiles awkwardly, Rowan doesn't skip a beat in keeping the conversation going.
“Hey, if you do it's none of my business, remember, Freshman RA, not my floor…not my problem.” Rowan winks, August immediately feels less awkward and afraid, He seems normal unlike his seemingly rouge roommate.
“Um speaking of floors, Where is the bathroom on our floor because I couldn't find it.” August finally asks, the words no longer stuck in this throat.
“Oh! yeah…Apparently like ten years ago there was a bad flood on floor three that caused like thousands of dollars worth of damage to the building's old ass structure, so the only restroom is on this floor, down the hallway opposite the stairwell.” August looks back to make sure he heard that right and sure enough, he sees a small arrow pointing that direction with a small stick figure of a man on it.
“One bathroom for…how many of us?” August asks, in disbelief.
“It's really big! Don't worry! You only run into issues in the mornings for the first like two weeks and then everyone falls into a routine. You barely even notice you sharing a shower with seventy-five guys after a while.”
“Seventy-five guys…okay I'm gonna go check it out.” August say turning around rather abruptly,
“I'll come with you, don't want you getting lost!” August freezes in place. Red flags going off in his head.
“No that's okay, I was just gonna take a shower, You dont wanna have to wait for me.” August lies, again. He figured he would be doing a lot of that considering his issues, but two times within the first hour is crazy.
“Dude… You’re sharing with seventy-five teenage boys. Trust me, you don’t want to do that without shower shoes and the school doesn't provide toiletries so you have to bring your own shampoo and shit.” August sighs, he knows that, hence why he has all of that and a shower catty he bought at Target shoved in his wardrobe. He would have brought them if he was actually planning to shower… But he isn't. He was planning on finding the laundry room and then having a quick piss, a quick piss he can only take if he is alone.
“Yeah, okay I'll be back then.” August says as friendly as possible, trying to distract from his obvious annoyance. He turns the other way, up the stairs deciding he will just wait. He isn't desperate, no. He knows better than to let himself get desperate in an unfamiliar setting, but he still just got off a long bus ride from the airport and indulged in a few in-air ginger ales to calm his nervous stomach.
“Dinner is at six, Just follow everyone and you should be good!” The callout is faint from the bottom of the stairs, but echoes up the tall empty space. August doesnt say anything back, but instantly devises a plan. When he sees everyone leaving the dorms for dinner, He will get to pee in peace, without fear of locking up because everyone will be busy eating in presumably, a whole different building.
The problem with that plan is, it's currently three. That means roughly three hours, give or take however long it takes for everyone to get out of here and go to lunch. August isn't desperate right now, but in three hours…The problem is that he doesn't have a problem. It's not like he is sick or has some sort of condition, well not one that would normally cause issues of his kind. It's just anxiety. From his pee-shyness to the bedwetting. It's all brought on by stress and anxiety. No matter what meds doctors have given him throughout the years, starting when he was 10 and was still consistently wetting the bed, none of them really worked.
Sure, they took away the surface level feeling of anxiousness that he lived with constantly. That was nice, but he was still worrying, constantly, deep down. The bed wetting and various other bathroom issues never got better, if anything, the meds not fixing him like the doctors swore they would, only made him stress out more, in turn making everything worse. So he was stuck like this.
It’s manageable. He has found ways around the bed wetting. At home he would often wake up just as it would start and could manage to get to the bathroom with only having to change his boxers. He wouldn't even consider that an accident at this point in his life.
His pee-shyness is a little more tricky, but he has found solutions…ones that aren't so practical when you have a roommate. If his dad was cleaning outside the bathroom at his house and he needed to go he would simply go to his room a whole floor away and find the nearest empty fast-food cup or coffee mug he had ‘conveniently forgotten’ to take out of his room and make use of that. Nobody would ever think he was peeing in his bedroom so he could always, without a doubt, pee in there. It's only in bathrooms he has trouble actually going.
He instinctively looks around his dorm once he closes the door. The steps having jostled his bladder far more than he would have liked, making him realize he would like to not feel like this for longer then he has to. There aren't any cups he would pee in, mostly because they aren't his, He isn't really picky. There are plenty of energy drinks cans he figures if worst comes to worst he could use, it's not easy but he has done it before.
Knowing his roommate, Max, isn't going to be back until what he insinuated was going to be well into the night, August decides he will try to wait it out. If he starts to feel desperate at all, then he will use the can and throw it out on his way to dinner, disposing of any and all evidence. The perfect plan.
* * *
The perfect plan that depended on one thing. His damn roommate. The roommate who made such a big deal about not being back till ‘lights out’ who just so happened to walk through the door the second August decided he was past the point of desperateness.
He admittedly waited too long. The want to wait till six was in the back of his mind, along with the anxieties about someone coming into his room, Mac, or an RA for a ‘candle check’ or whatever it was Rowan mentioned. Both sort of froze him with anxiety, instead of working through it, August chose to sit on his bed and scroll on tiktok for the last two hours, becoming increasingly aware of his legs becoming crossed, and then his hand slowly slipping between his legs. The moment he felt the first bit of wet tricking into his boxers, he jumped up and grabbed the energy drink can.
“Hey- Did you get into my stash!?” Max, because of course he would, barged through the door, immediately making eye contact with August who had the empty can in his grasps, getting ready to figure out the best place in the room to pee in it would be.
“What? N-no! I was just cleaning up!” August quickly looked around the room, spotting a small metal trash bin under Max’s desk. He bends down and chucks the empty can inside it, trying not to squirm around as he does so.
“Okay…In case you didn't get the memo, My side” He points to where August is currently standing, “ And your side. We don't ‘clean’ each other's sides, got it?” His tone was less than savory. August just nods in response, quickly going to his side of the room and sitting down in his desk chair at his empty desk. He watched Max bend down and plug his cell phone into a charge by the side of his bed, before plopping down at his own desk.
“I-I thought you were gonna be out all night?” August asks, seeing Max grab to slide his headphone on and power up his gaming computer.
“Phone died, would be bored as shit without it, plus, it's almost dinner and I slept through breakfast. Now if you don't mind.” Max slipped head headphones on, tuning his back from August, who immediately shoved both his hands between his legs.
‘Okay this is bad, very bad! Can you make it down the stairs?’ August thought, Even if lunch wasn't for another forty-five minutes, He could just go outside. Find a nice secluded tree and water it. He decided to stand up- ‘no! Nope! Bad, Bad, Bad!’ immediately his brain and body decided that was the wrong idea because not a little, but a lot of warmth coats the palm of his hand upon standing.
Panicked, He jumps forward less than gracefully, practically throwing himself onto the lofted bed and under the covers.
“What the fuck was that?” August rolls over to look at Max who now has one headphone off and is staring at him with an annotated look. “Your fuckin weird, Are you taking a nap? You know you have to go get dinner when they say right? You can't just go to the cafeteria whenever you want.”
“jetlag…I'm not hungry, just gonna have extra breakfast tomorrow.” August feels very, very proud of that lie. His best one of the day. He is just glad he got under the covers before Max was turned around because his hands are the only thing keeping him from squirming around like an idiot.
“Where are you even from anyways?” Max asks, August does not want to talk right now, He wants to pee, He needs to pee.
“San Diego, it's a town in Califor-”
“I know where San Diego fuckin is-Wait, doesnt that make it like what, 2:00pm there? Shouldn't you be the opposite of Jetlagged?” August curses under his breath, That is true, He searches for an answer and finds it staring right at him, behind Max,
“I stayed up late gaming the last few weeks with my friends, my sleep schedule is all messed up.” August does not in fact play any videos games, if anything they make him anxious and a little nauseous.
“Oh, well, Fix it because I'm not gonna wait for you if you sleep in next week when classes start.” Max turns his attention back to his game, slipping his headphones back on.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is bad. He isn't gonna leave until dinner? What should I do? I can't hold it that long and I can't walk all the way downstairs to the bathroom like this!’ August panicked, Internally freaking out while laying completely still under his covers in his bed…
‘Piss in the bed.’ His brain leapt at the idea, causing his body to force a long spurt out of him, this time no doubt showing on his clothes. Now he really can’t get up…But he couldn't just wet the bed while awake…He doesn't do that. Sure while he is asleep it happens, more than he would like to admit but doing it on purpose, that is a whole nother level of terrible.
He rolls over so his back is facing away from Max after making sure he looked like he was really into whatever game he was playing.
‘If I pee I have to do it slowly and make sure it doesn't get on the comforter, only the sheets.” August reasons with himself, because realistically, it's his only option. He spends another few minutes deciding if he should actually take himself out of his jeans and piss directly into the sheets, but decides he already has to wash his pants so he might as well use them to soak up some of the accident.
With nothing but the sound of his roommates tapping away at his keyboard, August slowly removes his hands from between his legs. At first, when nothing happens he thinks either he misjudges how desperate he actually is or his pee-shyness that only exists inside the restroom extends to peeing while in a bed with someone in the room, something he has obviously never tried to do before. Both theories are thrown out the window when a thin stream starts to leave his slit.
August bites down on his lip, trying to get control over the speed of his release. He can feel his pee soaking into his pants and then his leg and then the thin cotton sheet. Usually when he wets the bed like this, he is asleep and only wakes up to the smell of ammonia and the uncomfortable cold wet feeling that comes after, he has never felt himself actually fully wet the bed.
It's painful. It's actually painful to release his abused bladder as slowly as he is, but the waterproof sheet does not absorb much, that's kinda the whole point. So he has to wait for his accident to spread out and be absorbed by the sheets to avoid it pooling and getting on the comforter or worse, spilling off the side of the bed.
After a few minor lapses in control causing him to release far more than he meant to, he finally started to feel relief. It feels amazing. It shouldn't because of the circumstance, but he really left it far too long this time. He is usually better about this, or well, back home it was easier to go if he let it get this bad…here he is realizing that it's not considering he is actively purposefully using his bed as a makeshift toilet, something he doesn't ever want to do again.
He finally feels his stream beginning to taper off. When he is finally done, he feels the familiar feeling of cold, itchiness up his legs. He can almost pinpoint the exact moment he usually wakes up from the discomfort. It's slightly disheartening how soon after his accidents he must be waking up. He always thought it must have been hours ago he had wet the bed and only noticed when his body started to wake up. Its annoying to know he was waking up less than a minute after pissing himself, meaning it could be avoidable if his dumb brain would just wake him up.
“You awake?” August stifles a jump at the quiet of the room suddenly becoming not so quiet. He doesn't respond, immediately slamming his eyes shut. He hears a few sounds followed by a faint dial tone. “G, I’m on my way— No, it still needs to be charged. I’ll have to get it after dinner.---- No! fuckin lame ass you dont have to save me a seat, what are you a fuckin fag? wanna hold my hand too?---- yeah, no.----Shut the fuck up, i'll be down in a sec.” A few seconds later and August hears the door slam shut.
‘Shit. He is homophobic??? He has the spiderman poster because he genuinely likes Marvel movies not because Tom Holland has a great ass… He didn't think he would have to deal with Homophobia as much here, considering it's an all boys school…He mentally notes that his sexuality is now on the long list of things he has to lie to people about at this school.
His bout of self pitying is pushed aside when he realises just how gross he feels and he starts to actually smell the fact that he is covered in his own pee. His mind switches its train of thought instantly, when he looks over and see’s Max’s phone sitting on his desk on the charger but he remains Frozen in place wondering just how the hell he is gonna do all of this laundry and remake his bed before Max gets back from dinner…