Work Text:
Another frustrating race
At least another top 5
Could’ve been a podium
At least you finished in the top 10
Couldn’t even past a McLaren on hards
At least you went through turn 1
Piastri is a rookie and I couldn’t get past him
This car is a lost hope
George couldn’t silence the voices on his head. Another bad race, another frustrating weekend. To make it even worse, it all happens on his home race. And if it wasn’t enough, the his fellow British drivers were in the podium.
Most days George tried to stay positive after a race, tried not to say something on the media that might be twisted. But today wasn’t one of these days.
He was frustrated during debrief and everyone could see.
“You did your best today kid, we know this is a shitbox but at least you made some positions” Toto said trying to see if the mood improved
“Yeah but not enough, I just made one position the whole race and couldn’t pass Piastri” George said and went to sit between Marcus and Aleix.
Well his frustration just got bigger when Lewis entered the room with the biggest smile on his face. Of course, he got on the podium on his home race, went from p7 to p3. George felt guilty for not being happy for his boyfriend but he couldn’t put energy on it just now.
“Well let’s start debrief” Shov said,
“To start. Well done team great strategy today! Wow what a fight it was with Lando at the end! Feels good to fight like that. But we need to know why the car was so much worse than Friday. It can’t just keep happening!” Lewis said “What you think George?”
“Well done team, strategy was good today, even though that Safety car came at the wrong time for me. We need to know why our car couldn’t get past that Mclarens on hards. We need this last piece of performance” George said in the coldest way possible. Lewis had a questioning look on his face and George knew he knew something what’s wrong with him, Lewis knew him as the palm os his hand.
George zoomed out and when he knew debrief had ended. Lewis was making his way towards him but he ran out of the room and straight to his driver room. He said to Aleix he needed to be alone but he would be out to go to fanzone panel and be with his family. He needed some time.
But he made the worst decision he could possibly have done: enter on twitter. It was full of comments of how much of a hope Lando was for British Motorsport, that he was Lewis true successor. Even Lewis said how he was the future (he talked about George too but his mind chose to ignore it). Dammit how can they say that but I’m the one who won a race. George thought to himself.
As if it wasn’t enough, everyone was calling him names, how ungrateful he was to Lewis, how dismissive he was of Lewis’ podium because he didn’t congratulated him but said Oscar deserved a podium. He was just tired of this, how everyone always supposed things about him, that he should say A or B.
He shuted his phone down and went to his remaining duties. He felt like a robot, just going through the rest of the event. Spending sometime with his family’s helped a little, and he has a laugh or two when he took his nephew and niece to the stage at the fanzone.
It was already dark when he got back to his apartment all by himself and had courage to turn on his phone. It had inumerous missed calls and unread messages from Lewis on his phone, but he would deal with them later.
He opened Instagram and saw a story Lewis just posted. It was a photo of Lando and McLaren and saying how proud he was of them. He wanted to trow his phone at the nearest wall.
Deep down he knew he was making a big of a deal but he was just tired of everything. Of the car, the team, the media, the other drivers, himself.
He knew he was going spiral, his could feel his heart rate going up and that iminnent dying feeling coming. He sat at he’s couch to calm himself when there was a knock on his door. He got up and looked at the peephole only to see Lewis there.
“Hey” he said when opened the door and walked to the side so his boyfriend could come in. Since they were together for almost a year now, George’s loft almost felt theirs, as much as Lewis’ one. Lewis sat at the couch and waited for George to do the same, but the young boy stayed up by the kitchen door.
“Do you want something?” George said looks to the ground, not looking lewis in the eyes.
“Cmon George, I know something’s wrong and you are not saying. Are you mad at me? You didn’t answer my messages or calls. Did I do something that upset you?” Lewis said
“Everything is fine” George said while fixing the cups at the counter.
“George, talk to me. Something is bothering you and I don’t know what I can do to help” Lewis had walked to him and pulled George’s hands on his “Please”
When the boy finally looked at him, Lewis could see the tears almost pouring from the big blues eyes. He knew George hated crying so he was battling the tears from falling.
“I’m just tired, tired from everything. When I fell things are finally coming back together, it just gets more messed up” George finally spoke.
Lewis pulled him to hug and let George cry everything he needed while going to sit on the couch.
“What’s bothering you babe? You know you can always tell me everything.” Lewis said after a while, when he felt George relax a little.
“It’s just, nothing is working out. This car is shit, I fell like I’m back at Williams because no matter what we do, we just can’t move foward. Fuck McLaren where last at the first race this year and now I can’t even pass a rookie with hard tyres.” George started talking and he couldn’t stop. Lewis just stayed there listening closely to whatever he was saying.
“And them it’s all that praise and love for Lando, an I get it, he’s a good driver, he did a wonderful job. But everyone keeps saying how’s he’s the future of British Motorsport, how he’s the best one. And I’m here! I have to be a little selfish now, but I’m a great driver too! I won all, I repeat, ALL junior categories, I beat Lando, Fuck I’ve won a race and because of ONE podium and One great defense he’s the absolute best and I’m just dust? It’s not fucking fair!” He continued. Lewis didn’t interrupt him.
“And it’s my home race too! I know this is the best result I’ve ever gotten here. At least I scored some points and got past lap 1. But all I wanted was to be able to be o that podium and I have every right to be frustrated but the fucking internet is calling ungrateful and jealous just because you got a podium and I didn’t. I’m not mad at you, it’s just the situation is what is making me nuts.” George let a sign of relief as he finished talking as Lewis swiped his tears away.
“Can I talk now?” Lewis asked and waited for George’s response to continue “You have every right to be mad. This car is an absolute diva and shitbox, it’s impossible to predict. But believe me when I say, you are doing everything and even more to make this thing even a little drivable. And yes, it stinks to see how can a team improve so much and we are moving backwards. I talked to Toto and the team yesterday and after debrief today again because we really have to discuss it. But that’s for another time”
He continued “And about Lando, yes he’s a great driver it’s good to see someone different up there other than the RB, but please don’t listen to this kind of things. You’re a exceptional driver, so so talented, dedicated, the whole package. But that’s the thing: you’re only good as you last race. People in this sport have shot memory, but believe me when I say: when you’re at the top, you be more untouchable than Max is now. Obviously after I retired because when we have good car, that will be between you and me” George for the first time let a honest smile out as Lewis tightened his embrace.
“And I’ve already told you, don’t listen to online comments, they know very little about us, strategy, everything. You have every right to be frustrated, I would never blame you for being frustrated because of a shit weekend. I have my fair share of shit weekends and you’re there every time” Lewis finished.
“Thank you for listening” George finally said.
“Anytime babe. Now come, what overtake it was on Charles! You were impressive!” Lewis said.
“It was okay” George tried not to make a big deal out of it.
“Stop it! It was amazing baby! You nailed it”
“Look who’s talking. You’re amazing today. P7 to p3 in that tractor. You were amazing. And the moves on Lando were absolutely incredible” George said.
“Thanks babe. Now cmon, let’s eat something and watch something because I’m tired of that thing we call racing car and I just want to spent this week break with you” Lewis got up the couch and pulled George to him to a sweet, deep kiss.
“Thanks for supporting me, I don’t know what I would do without you” George said
“Anytime baby. And please, promise me whenever you feel bad you’ll talk to me.” Lewis said
“I promise.”