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Mahiru was there, standing firmly in her usual sailor uniform. Her ashen hair swayed as she turn back to face Guren. Her red eyes—red as if it was soaked in blood—pierced Guren’s violet eyes. She pursued a smile.
Follow me. She said. Her voice was raspy and cold, like an ice. You want power, right, Guren?
She offered her hand to Guren, but he didn’t accept it. He draw his sword instead, knowing the girl in front of him was not the sweet and nice girl he used to know. She was consumed inside by the demon, slowly. Guren swayed his sword, cutting her body, tearing her soul from her body. Hoping it wasn’t too late.
(But, apparently, it was too late. She can’t be saved.)
Mahiru smiled faintly, her face showed pain. She open her mouth to talk, but when she spoke it wasn’t her voice Guren heard—it was another familiar voice.
“Guren, wake up!”
Startled, Guren sat up so quickly he head-butted Shinya on the nose.
“Arrgh!” He heard Shinya groaned in pain, with a hand covering his nose. “Your head is actually made of rocks.”
“S-sorry,” he blinked, trying to study the situation. He was in his room, sitting on his comfortable bed with a blanket draped over his body—definitely, he was falling asleep. Cold sweat covered his body, soaked in to his shirt. Shinya was sitting on the side of his bed, muttering something about broken nose. It seemed Shinya was the one who wake him up just now. Guren cleared his throat then asked him, “what are you doing here?”
“I am coming all the way here to cheer you up and all you did was almost breaking my nose. I won’t take that as a thank you.” Here Shinya went with his nonsense again. His whiny voice sounded equal parts of endearing and annoying. Guren decided to concentrate in annoying part, though. “But, good things, my nose isn’t broken.”
“I thought I told you to go home.”
Shinya visited him this afternoon, Guren remembered. But he sent his classmate away right after he knew the person who standing behind his door was Shinya. Obviously, Shinya wasn’t listening. He was Hiiragi Shinya after all. Who knew what was exactly going on in his twisted mind.
“Sayuri let me in. Besides, I’m here to cheer you up, no way I will go home without seeing you.” He showed Guren his broad and over friendly smile. God. Guren hated his smile so much. What did he mean with cheering up, anyway? His existence only made Guren felt even more miserable.
He could scold Sayuri later. His first world problem was Shinya, for now. “How the hell did you get in to my room?”
“I break the lock.”
“You ... WHAT?”
“Okay, sorry,” despite he was apologizing just now, Shinya didn’t look guilty at all. “You were, like, not getting out of your room for eight hours. Shigure said you barely eat since last night. I worried you might be dying or, worse, commit suicide.”
He didn’t notice he was staying in his room for that long. Well, he was asleep for the last few hours—or only a few minutes—anyway. Shinya was right, though. He was dying, a part of him die with her. “It doesn’t mean you can break into my room.”
“I’m just worry. Look, when I came in you were in a mess—talking in your sleep, drenched in sweat, your body trembling. I thought you might die in your dream.”
The dream—the nightmare, to be exact. Guren nearly forgot about it. But, now that Shinya mentioned about the dream, the image of Mahiru and how her sanity ingested by demon instantly haunted him. Normally, a mere dream would not bother him, even the one which involved demon. But, this one was different. It was more vivid.
“You ... want to talk about it? Your dream, I mean.” Shinya seemed realize his changed expression.
“No. Not now.” Guren shook his head. “Maybe later.” Or never.
“It’s normal for having nightmares after an ... unpleasant experience. I got them almost every day back in the training facility.”
His voice was heavy with bitterness—more than Guren could understand. He had never heard Shinya’s voice sounded like that, before. Guren stared at him. It seemed Shinya was referring about the time before The Hiiragis adopted him. Guren never knew. He never asked, even though he was curious about how Shinya was chosen as Mahiru’s fiancé . Shinya never talked about his live before he was adopted either.
“Ahaha, forget it. I’m here to cheer you up, anyway. Let’s talk about happy things.” Shinya laughed. Guren couldn’t tell if it was his real laugh or the fake one.
“Why would you cheer me up? It’s your fiancée who died.”
“It’s your lover who died.”
Both of them silenced for a few moments. No one spoke any words, eyes glaring at each other. Then, Shinya smiled awkwardly, muttering sorry. Guren nodded in understanding. They wouldn’t discuss it again—not in a short time.
It didn’t matter who was Mahiru for them, now. She was no longer here, and they could not do anything about it. She became a distant memory, even though the pain wouldn’t fade in short time every time he remembered her.
“You skipped lunch, so you must be hungry. Let’s grab some food for you.” Shinya grabbed his hand, pulling him out of his bed. Guren almost tripped because of his blanket. Shinya smiled again. Not the awkward smile Guren just saw, but his usual cheerful smile. Guren wondered how could this guy change his expression in a few minutes.
He had not realized how much he’d resented Shinya—for being a Hiiragi; for being the fiancé of the girl he loved; or for being an annoying classmate in general, Guren was not sure. But, he just couldn’t hate him. Shinya seemed sincere about wanting to be his friend. Perhaps, they could really be good friends.
“Sayuri cooks curry for dinner.” Shinya spoke again, that smile still plastered on his faces.
“Yeah, curry sounds good.”
Dream and death were an old friend of his. Ever since that fateful day, years ago, Guren couldn’t stop having nightmare every time he closed his eyes. Most of his dreams were about death. Her death. Sometimes the death of his comrades showed up. Some of them were pieces of memories, the others were his biggest fear: losing someone he cared about all over again.
The usual fragments of his painful memories rushed past him—five years old Mahiru smiling down at him, her face illuminated by the sunlight, she was so beautiful, so bright, like the sun; sixteen years old Mahiru he met at school, disappointment written in her face, I hate getting apologies from you. Especially, from the you who is always weak and cannot protect a girl, she said. He saw Mahiru again, her eyes lingered with desire for power as the demon consumed her inside, a sly grin flashed across her face. Follow me, Guren.
Another scene filled in, racing through his mind: the death of his comrades, his subordinates whose name he had already forgotten; battlefield with bunch of corpses and blood; his squad—his friends—laid dying on the ground by his feet. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t protect them.
Guren couldn’t stop them. The dream cluttered him with regrets and sorrow. He didn’t want this.
Heavy breath left his lips as he suddenly woke up.
“Oh? You awake?” A familiar voice greeted him, Guren jumped with surprise. He didn’t expect anyone would be in—Guren had a look at his surrounding—his office. He fell asleep in the middle of his half-done paperworks and had an awful dream. Nice.
“I am not sure if a desk with a shitload unfinished paperworks is comfortable enough to take a nap, but you seem fast asleep.” It was Shinya’s voice. The white haired Major General sat on the couch with a book in his hand, cheerfully smiling at Guren.
“Why are you even here?” Guren grumbled, pinched the bridge of his nose. A dull pain stroke his head right after he woke up. His neck was stiff and weary. He shouldn’t let himself sleep in the middle of his works.
“I just want to stop by your office. No particular reason.” Shinya put down his book. Guren doubted if he really read it in the first place.
“The reason is to annoy me.” He wasn’t trying to joke around, but Guren heard Shinya’s faint laugh. “Why didn’t you wake me up, then?”
“Because you’re cute when you sleep.”
“Shut up.”
“Ahaha. It’s true, though. Despite you deserve some sleep—you haven’t slept since the last mission ended. You must be tired.”
“I feel even more tired, now.” It was true. He felt more worn out after his short sleep under the pile of paperworks. He wasn’t sure if it caused by his stupid dream or his choice of place to sleep.
“Another bad dream?”
Sometimes, Guren hated how Shinya could be so sharp. He tore his gaze from Shinya, eyes glued on the clean white paper in front of him. No need to deny it. Shinya knew him way too well since he was the one whom Guren talk to about almost everything. Hesitating, Guren nodded.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Just the usual scenes. Blood, corpses, and death. No big deal.”
“But it’s bothering you ... I guess.”
“I can handle it.”
Shinya pulled himself out of the couch, approaching him. Guren raised an eyebrow, looking at the white haired man as if asking him what the hell are you going to do? A cheeky smile was written on Shinya’s face. “If you don’t want to talk, maybe you want a hug?”
“Die.” Guren said it with a harsh tone—as harsh as he could. Shinya ignored him, obviously. He embraced Guren in his arm, even though Guren instantly pushed him away. But Shinya was being Shinya who loved to irritate him. He didn’t consider it as a rejection. “What are you doing, dumbass?”
“Comforting you, what else?”
“Let me go! The reports wouldn’t write itself. It should be done before Kureto kills me.”
“Don’t worry, nii-san won’t kill you. He still values your power. He will only torture you at the worst.”
“Thanks for the encouragement.”
Guren didn’t really like to be touched in any form of physical contact, but somehow a hug from Shinya felt reassuring. He didn’t mind to stay like this for a little bit longer. Shinya’s presence was real—it was inescapably dependable.
“Weird dream again?” Shinya asked him when Guren woke up at two in the morning. He leaned on the wall in his pajama, the window beside him was opened. It seemed he was looking at whatever out of there from the opened window instead of sleeping. Funny, his eyes was still sparkling and not looked weary at all despite Shinya had an awful eye bag under his eyes.
“Sort of.” Guren yawned. He sat up on the bed they shared, rubbing his eyes.
“Nightmare?”
“No.” Guren shook his head, walking up towards Shinya. He wrapped Guren in a hug. Cold tinged his skin as Shinya touched him. How long he was standing in front an opened window until all over his body getting cold like this? Guren returned the embrace. “It was actually a nice dream.”
“Good. What was that about?”
“Don’t remember. But you were there.”
“I wasn’t dying, I suppose?”
Guren scoffed, “of course not, stupid.”
“It’s reassuring since I have been dying in your dreams once in a while.” Shinya laughed softly. He leaned his head on Guren’s shoulder, muttering nonchalantly, “You’re warm.”
As long as you are not really dying. Guren didn’t say it out loud. He traced his fingers down Shinya’s back. “What are you doing in this hour? We have a mission in Shinjuku tomorrow.”
“Nothing in particular. Just seeing things.” He pushed himself away from Guren, closing the window. Maybe he finally realized that standing in front of a wide opened window at the middle of night was a ridiculously stupid idea.
“There are nothing can be seen there. Except rubble.”
As far as Guren remembered, there were nothing but plenty of half-ruined building. It wasn’t exactly nice scenery, not to mention it looked even more creepy at the ungodly hour like this. Even the sky wasn’t so clear, there were no stars to be seen. The moon was upon the horizon, at least.
Shinya looked at him, smiling.It wasn’t his usual meaningless smile, but the honest and sincere one—after years of knowing Shinya, now Guren could tell them apart. “But, the moon is beautiful tonight.”[1]
Guren’s gaze switched upwards, looking at the dark sky. The moon was indeed beautiful. It was shining oddly blue, hanging above the ruined city. The moonlight traced Shinya’s white hair trough the glass of window, made it glow silver. He looked almost divine.
Almost instantly, he felt like an idiot. Shinya, perhaps, was actually talking about something else, not the moon dangling above them. Yet, he still responded, “Yes. It is.”
Their actual job was to draw the attention of the vampires while Narumi and Shinoa’s squad rescuing their captured comrades. Then get out, preferably alive.
It was succeeded at the main part—rescuing the captured soldiers. However, the drawing attention part didn’t go really well. Naturally, the situation was worse than Guren’s expectation. But, it was a way too worse than he had expected—even worse than any of his nightmares.
The only thing in Guren’s mind was escape from this place as soon as possible. But, it wasn’t as easy as it seems with three nobles trying to chase them. Not to mention that they were wounded and exhausted for fighting that bloodsuckers and, presumably, Shinya got some broken ribs.
He said he was okay, even it didn’t seem so. Shinya’s arm was clinging around Guren’s neck, while his other hand gripped his chest. He winched in pain as Guren supported him, helping him to run. Blood trickled down Shinya’s chin, bruises covered all over his face. His lungs rattled like a box of rocks, as they ran. Guren held Shinya as close as humanly possible.
At this rate, they wouldn’t make it out alive. Both of them could die—no, would die.
If this was another his regular nightmare, it would be pleased for Guren to wake up now.
(It wasn’t a dream, after all. It seemed he had run out of his luck.)
Their lives were at stake. No. Not only their lives, the entire mission was at stake if both of them got killed here. At least, one of them should get out of this damn building alive and take command to continue the mission.
That Crowley guy wanted the commander. Guren figured it out. They wanted him. Maybe, they would not after the rest of the squad if they got him alive. (He, absolutely, would be tortured and questioned about their mission and all, but he could worry about it later.) Maybe, he could minimize the causalities by giving up. Shinya would take command, their mission continued before the enemy reinforcements arrived, and his comrades would be safe. His friends would be safe. Shinya would be safe.
The Moon Demon Company would lose their commander. But it sounded better than the Mayor General and the Lieutenant Colonel were captured, then one of them would be tortured until in the verge of dying so another one would willingly answer the questions about the mission and JIDA in general.
The only problem was to get Shinya out of here alive. Guren couldn’t drag him into this hell. Not anymore. Shinya had already done so much for him. He was always there, watching Guren’s back. He had followed Guren into inferno and come back alive. And he should remain alive. Not for the sake of this stupid mission, but for himself.
Crowley said something about human and selfishness—Guren didn’t really pay attention, he had more important issues than listening to a vampire’s speech—as he swayed his sword at them. Guren used his sword to deflect the attack, but it wasn’t enough. He pushed Shinya away when he felt a sharp pain pierce through his shoulder. He was done for. Shinya cried out his name, trying to shot the vampire.
“Leave me! Go and take a command.”
He ignored Shinya’s shocked face. (However, in fact, ignoring those heartbroken blue eyes was nearly impossible.)
“Shinya, run!”
“That brat is still sobbing when I left,” Guren grumbled as they walked downstairs, leaving Yuuichirou’s room. He planned to stay in his office since he needed to do a shitload of paperworks before tomorrow, but Shigure said Yuu often woke up in the middle of night and screamed. So, he took a little time to check on him. “It seems he had another nightmare.”
“He’s only kid. It’s normal to have a nightmare,” Shinya paced behind him, followed Guren steps. Their footsteps tapped constantly against the floor, made a little noise that loud enough to be heard in a quiet night like this.
Guren was going to visit Yuu when he, literally, bumped with the white haired Major General in front of his office. Shinya must be there for bothering him a night before the due date of his reports like usual, he bet. He tailed Guren to Yuu’s room, knowing Guren was going to check on his son—how the fuck Shinya got this hideous idea to refer that troublesome brat as Guren’s son. For heaven’s sake, he was only twenty. He kept babbling about nonsense as they walked, even though Guren repeatedly told him to piss off. He was waiting outside while Guren talked with the little boy.
“Yeah, I guess. But it will be a big help if he stopped being a crybaby.”
“For a twelve years old boy, he has gone through so much, Guren. Try to be a little more considerate.”
Guren snickered. What did Shinya expect from a twenty years old man who had no experience in babysitting kids? He was a soldier, not a babysitter. Well, he wasn’t very good in dealing with children from the first place. He even had plenty unpleasant and difficult experience before he could handle Shinoa.
“Even you sometimes still have hard time to deal with nightmares.”
Guren glared at him with irked. “I am not.”
“Aww, don’t be shy. It’s just me here,” Shinya giggled, poking Guren’s shoulder from behind.
Guren twitched in irritation. The peaceful day without Shinya’s disturbance surely would never come. He was tempted to kick Shinya down from the stairs. Maybe some broken bones would make him stayed in the hospital long enough to get Guren some serene days without any annoyance. Lucky for Shinya, he wasn’t that cruel.
“Shut the fuck up, Shinya. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Guren was really trying his best to not showing any sign of exasperation. Shinya would instantly grin in both amusement and satisfaction if he did. Even so, Shinya kept smirk slyly.
“Anyway, Yuu-kun seems like a nice kid. He’s cute too.” Good thing, Shinya dropped the topic about Guren and nightmare.
“You will absolutely take your words back once you really deal with him,” Guren sneered, not really delighted about Shinya pointed out Yuuichirou as cute. “He’s just nothing but an obnoxious stubborn brat.”
“Ahaha. Like father, like son.”
“How much I should tell you, he is not my son.”
And, Guren didn’t remember he was being a tiresome brat as a kid. He might be rock-headed, but not in annoying way. If he was going to talk about nuisance person, the white-haired man who walked with him in this very night might be fit the definition.
“But you, practically, raise him.” Shinya answered him with a sing a song voice. He walked beside Guren, synchronizing their footsteps since they were completely outside the building, now. “You could be a great father, Guren.”
Guren’s eyebrows frowned as he heard Shinya’s last sentence. He would gladly consider it as a praise if it came from someone else’s mouth. But, it’s Shinya who said that. He must be kidding or trying to mess with Guren, like he commonly did. Sometimes Guren was not sure if he really meant something or just wanted irritated Guren even more. “Is that sarcasm?”
“No, no, no. I meant it.” Shinya waved his hand, wearing his meaningless smile. He took a deep breath, before continue talking, “I always think you’re a good person, Guren. You raise a kid you barely know. What do you call it if it isn’t kindhearted?”
“He would be useful for us. He might be our ticket to win the battle. That’s why I take care of him.”
“Liar~” Shinya chuckled. “If Kureto nii-san said that, I will believe it right away.”
“Don’t compare me with your shitty brother.”
“You’re both alike at some points. You are many ways mooorre compassionate than Nii-san, though.”
Guren clicked his tongue, not responding Shinya any longer. Talking with Shinya only gave him an extra unnecessary headache, even without mentioning Kureto. Silence ensued for a several graceful moment. Not the awkward ones, but the pleasant and comfortable silence. They continued walking without exchanging any words.
“Hey, Shinya,” Guren called his friend, when they was nearly arrived at the building where their office were. Shinya responded with a quiet hum, tilting his head to the left, facing Guren. Confusion floated on Shinya’s bright blue eyes, giving Guren what are you going to tell me look, because Guren seemed so serious and thoughtful. “Yuu said he wants to avenge his dead family.”
“He can’t help it. They were slaughtered by vampire, right?”
Guren nodded. “Seems like he’s living for revenge, that brat.”
“Give him another reason for living, then. You can be his new family.”
“I don’t know you actually could say something like that.”
“You’re always underestimate me, you meanie!” Shinya smacked Guren shoulder, jokingly. Guren snorted, hiding his faint laugh as he saw Shinya’s sulky face. He didn’t mean insulting Shinya. It sounded like a compliment in his head, maybe he said it in wrong way. “Beside, it’s what you’ve done to me: taking me as your comrade, your friend, your family.”
“Did I?”
“Of course you do.”
“How about you, Shinya?”
“What?” He stopped his tracks at the moment he saw Guren stopped as well.
Guren glanced at him, right in the eyes. Violet to blue. “Will you avenge the death of someone you hold dear if they were murdered?”
“No,” Shinya shook his head, smiles gently. He looked at Guren with an inexplicable gaze. “I will make sure you won’t get killed in the first place.”
“Don’t change the situation!”
“You will not get killed that easy, Guren. But, the point is, I will try my best so that circumstances won’t happen.”
Guren silenced, still staring at Shinya. The latter still smiled—of course, he was the type who would smile even if he was going to die, looking back at him. His hair waved with the wind, glistering silver under the moonlight. (Was he always looked this beautiful? Guren wondered.) Guren still couldn’t decipher the meaning behind his blue eyes—the deep bottomless blue eyes, which worth drowning for.
“Revenge won’t make you coming back alive, you know.”
(Recalling that very moment years ago, Guren at least could feel a little relief. If he got killed here, Shinya wouldn’t throw his damn life recklessly to avenge him.)
Shinya was not stupid enough to avenge him, but he was obviously reckless enough to do literally everything to save Guren.
A loud bang and three enormous white tiger pierced through the room. Only one person Guren knew who could did that. Confused, Guren tried to catch what was actually happening, but a massive amount of smoke clouded his eyes. Before he understood what was exactly going on, a familiar face appeared from the smoke. It was Shinya.
“Wha—“
“No time to explain. You need to get out of here.” Shinya freed his limbs in a rush, tossing Guren his sword. How the hell he could even manage to get Guren’s sword back.
“Can you walk?” Shinya asked him again before Guren could say something. He just nodded for answer. “Good. Because it will be difficult to both carry you and protecting us. Come on.”
Shinya dragged him out of the room, running through the hallway. “Can you explain to me what’s actually happening?” Guren shot him a question as they ran.
“We’re rescuing you—DUCK!” Shinya ended his answer with a loud bang from Byakkomaru, destroying a vampire who tried to attack Guren from behind. Lucky, Guren ducked at the right moment.
“Shinya, watch out!”
Guren pushed his best friend away, as he deflected an attack from another vampire. Thankfully, he still had a little strength to fight, despite he was held as a captive for only god knew how long. Shinya managed to shot the vampire then grabbed Guren’s sleeves, running again. No nobles in sight, so far. But, some of vampires ran after them, trying to catch them. Guren didn’t know if it was good or bad.
Goshi and Mito were waiting in the end of the hallway. Goshi cast an illusion to blind their enemy temporary, as Mito helping Shinya dragged Guren. Even with the two colonels, they were still outnumbered. They choose to run instead of fight.
“I can’t believe you actually survived this. You’re in a bad shape, though,” Goshi said. “I thought we only could retrieve your corpse.”
“I love you too, Man!” Guren snickered.
“You guys can bicker each other after we manage to get out!” The red haired girl scowled at them. She was right, the illusion wouldn’t last so long. They needed to get out as soon as possible.
A vampire advanced them, attacking anyone near enough to be stabbed. Mito managed to knock him down, but not enough to destroy him. More vampire came after them as Goshi’s illusion slowly faded. Their only options were running away from here as fast as they could or fighting.
Guren was calculating the risks of their left options—running or fighting, as he saw a vampire charged towards him, swaying his sword. Guren didn’t have enough time to draw his own sword. He was trying to dodge the attack when he felt someone shoved him down.
All he could see was Shinya’s pale face. A lot of blood dripping from his chest, impaled with a sword. Shinya smiled weakly, relief was written on his face knowing Guren was unharmed. The next moment, he saw that Shinya’s blue eyes went dark. Blank and void.
(And Guren couldn't forget the way his heart stopped when Shinya's did.)
As he woke up, the entire of his body was aching and trembling. His head was spinning, shirt drenched in sweat.
“Shinya?” He called someone who was usually in his side every time he woke up because of stupid dreams only to find out that he was alone here, in his room.
His heart wrenched in pain, as he realize that it wasn’t a dream he just had, it was memory.