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During the morning hours of the cold winter day, König’s looked up at Horangi's balaclava with a small smile creeping up his face as the Korean closed the door to the base behind him. König was glad that his face covered as he felt embarrassed thinking of how he had been staring at him as soon as he walked in.
Horangi always looked so confident and in control. He tried to catch Horangi's attention subtly.
Brushing the snow off of him, Horangi locked eyes with the colonel across the room, smiling with his eyes. König seemed awfully bashful, even when his head was covered in that sniper hood.
Just then, a fellow comrade approached, stopping König from any chance of conversation
“It’s fuckin’ cold out there,” Horangi said to the other man as König watched. “Not too bad for a run, though, no?”
The other man laughs. He laughs. König can’t help but to feel a ping of jealousy swell up as the other man pats Horangi’s back as he stomps the snow from his boots.
He watched the other man seemingly take interest in Horangi, the jealousy he felt made him a little mad as an anxious feeling started growing in him.
König was angry at himself for not having the confidence to talk to Horangi but it wasn't his fault. He felt alone, like a lost child, and his anxiety seemingly worsened when it came to talking to the man he really liked was making the feeling worse.
He looked at his boots, ashamed for staring so much but not having the courage to go up and talk to Horangi. His face was full of embarrassment and frustration. There was so much he wanted to say but the words were trapped inside.
Soon enough, Horangi finally saw the taller man, standing silently alone.
“Talk to you later, alright?” Horangi mumbled to the other man before making his way to König.
Horangi smiled with his eyes again, his boots squeaking against the floor because of the melted snow.
At the sound of the squeaking, König looked up from his boots just in time to see Horangi coming over to him, his nervousness increased immensely as he was now at the center of attention.
"Oh, hey," he mumbled, staring at his boots again in embarrassment and anxiousness, until Horangi’s boots came into his vision.
He was nervous about coming across weird, as he had a tendency of that happening.
“You were so quiet,” Horangi said playfully. “Almost didn’t notice you until I saw you standing there all alone. What’s up, big guy?”
König smiled nervously as he looked up from his boots, his anxiety and insecurity at its all-time high with Horangi's presence.
"Oh, uh nothing really...Just uh..." he didn't know what to say, a lump in his throat made it hard for him to speak.
With the man, whom he’s harbored feelings for for so long in front of him, it was impossible to get a word out. König couldn’t bring his tongue to push out any words, which made it even harder to speak to Horangi. His mind raced with things he wanted to say but his mouth wouldn't move.
Horangi noticed the hesitance and immediately assumed that the other man wasn’t in the mood to speak to him. After all, with his height and demeanor on the battlefield alone, talking to this colonel felt intimidating.
“If you don’t wanna talk now-I know how busy it gets here, I can always see you later,” he offered, patting König’s elbow.
Suddenly, König’s body froze, eyes wide as he glanced down at their arms making contact. He was surprised by his touch because now there wasn't just anxiety and fear, it was now tinged with a light flush of excitement.
The words Horangi spoke to him seemed to make all his insecurities fly out the window, yet return back to him in one go.
"N-no it's not that, I would actually like to talk to you," he said nervously, his face turning red with embarrassment as he glanced back up at Horangi.
“Oh good,” Horangi chuckled. “Thought you were too busy. Coffee. How does that sound?”
König thought it over. He wanted to say no because his anxiety told him so, just leave the situation and go about his day. Instead, he forced it down and smiled at Horangi.
A light blush was on his face and he looked up at Horangi, glad that his nervousness was concealed by his sniper hood. His mind was racing now with thoughts of him and Horangi being together then.
He nodded at Horangi and forced his words out.
"Sure, I'd like that."
“Let’s get going then,” Horangi gently pulled on König’s black sleeve before walking to the mess hall.
The taller man couldn't help but blush when Horangi grabbed his sleeve. He love the way Horangi acted and the warmth he showed towards him.
He turned to follow, walking closely beside him as he looked forward, keeping a straight face as his anxiety still tried to take over.
The mess hall was busy with people, all rushing to get the best of what was for breakfast before it got cold or even ran out.
König’s anxiety increased once again because of all the people present but Horangi's presence made the anxiety feel less overwhelming. He walked close to him, glancing at him from time to time, admiring how confident he looked.
His eyes fluttered every time Horangi looked back at him, even if it was only for a quick second. His cheeks turned red as he looked back at the crowd of new recruits, all moving around the camp. It was loud, a slight buzz of conversations that seemed like static to König.
The people seemed to clear, when König walked, as if he repelled them. Perhaps it was a gift, being so intimidating all the time.
“Oh, there’s hot chocolate,” Horangi said, interrupting König’s thoughts. “That’s rare. Do you want some, big guy?”
The way Horangi called König “big guy” made his face flush with blood as it warmed him.
"Oh sure, hot chocolate…it actually sounds nice right now," he said in an attempt to hide how embarrassed he was right now.
“It’s crowded here,” the Korean mumbled. “Do you mind waiting here while I get it for us? We can go somewhere else and talk there…”
König was happy that Horangi suggested that they talk elsewhere. Being in the mess hall made him more anxious, this whole situation was pretty overwhelming. Even though they weren't too close yet, his anxiety made him feel nervous at the thought of being separated from Horangi.
He nodded at Horangi.
"Sure, just come back soon," he said as he watched his crush turn around.
Horangi nodded and grabbed two white paper cups. He filled them all up with deliciously sweet hot chocolate that smelled so good, he could even sniff it through his balaclava.
A comrade bumped into him, quickly apologizing before dragging him into a conversation.
“It’s been a while!” Horangi exclaimed, momentarily forgetting about König, who still waited for him around the corner.
For a quick two minutes, they caught up, until Horangi quickly remembered König and said his goodbye’s before making his way back to König.
In those two minutes, König's anxiety got a lot worse as he thought about all the reasons why Horangi might not be coming back to him.
Could he have somehow weirded out his crush?
His eyes were trained on the crowd of people as he looked for him. He thought he saw him at one point, but his mind was playing tricks on him.
Horangi emerged from the crowd, the two cups in his ungloved hands.
"You're back," he whispered when he finally saw Horangi approaching.
He looked embarrassed and turned away, looking at his boots yet again.
“Don’t be like that, I wasn’t gone for too long,” Horangi smiled, handing out König’s hot chocolate.
König took the cup from him, his eyes wide looking at Horangi.
"Thanks," he said nervously, his face flushing when their hands made contact.
His eyes glanced down at the hot chocolate as he thought about what to say next. He was anxious and didn't want to mess anything up.
"So um, can we uh...like...Talk now?" He forced out of his mouth before looking up at him again.
“Your hood,” Horangi pointed at his own head and smiled.
König still had his sniper hood on, but he was in no shape to take it off just to drink now. Not in a busy room like this.
"Oh, yeah," he muttered, feeling more embarrassed.
“How about we get outta here, yeah? Or somewhere without a whole crowd like this?” Horangi suggested.
Horangi quickly pull led König by his sleeve again and into the corridor before stopping at a corner where he knew no one really passed by. It was just the two of them there, but they still had their masks on, the one thing keeping them from truly seeing each other.
The taller man followed Horangi, his footsteps sounding loud on the ground. He was glad the area was much quieter so that there was barely anyone within the proximity of the corridors that led them to this corner.
One thing still stood though. They had never removed their masks in front of each other.
Although this wasn’t the first time Horangi got a hot drink for him, whenever Horangi did, he either had Horangi deliver it to his quarters or held onto it until he was somewhere quiet and could drink it.
He hadn’t even seen Horangi without his balaclava, as he’d always quickly turn around whenever Horangi drank, even though the smaller man insisted that it was alright.
For some reason, he didn’t feel ready then. Yet, today felt different. Comfort surged through him as the two of them stood alone in this lonely corridor.
“Don’t be so shy, big guy,” Horangi smiled. “Here, I’ll do the honor and go first.”
With a swift move, Horangi pulled of his balaclava, revealing his scarred face. His cheeks were rosy, and his smile was utterly infectious. His lips were plump and he even had the cutest nose. This heavenly face didn’t feel that it belonged to a face of a stone cold killer, tasked with killing the most highest and ruthless of people.
König had been turning around from this? Curse him! Curse König and his anxiety-induced decisions!
“Oh yeah,” Horangi mumbled, tucking his balaclava into his pocket. “This is the first time you’ve seen me, isn’t it? You always look away when I drank. You don’t come to to see me eat, either,” he sounded sad at the last part, and König could make out a slight pout in his voice.
König’s eyes widened when he saw Horangi without the balaclava, he was taken aback completely. He looked beautiful, scars and all. His face was like art, the scars just made it all the more interesting to look at. He was so different than what he expected and he felt even more anxious for Horangi to look at him now.
Noticing the pink on Horangi's cheeks, he felt his face flush even more.
He watched Horangi intently, not daring to turn away when he smiled at him.
“Your turn,” Horangi grinned, taking a sip of his hot chocolate and sighing with content. Before widening his eyes. “I mean-unless you don’t want to. If you want to drink under your hood, I won’t judge.”
His face turned a deep shade of red now that he was put on the spot. He looked at Horangi, the temptation to just stay hidden beneath his hood was strong. It felt more comfortable when he couldn't see Horangi fully.
Then, Horangi gave him the look of encouragement, giving him a wide and toothy grin.
He took a deep breath to try and muster up the courage to reveal himself to him. Taking in another deep breath, he slowly pulled the hood down and looked at Horangi, expecting to see his shock or disgust.
But instead, König saw endearment.
“The colonel’s fuckin’ beautiful,” Horangi took another sip. “No wonder you hide yourself. You’d have everyone swooning over you in a second.”
His eyes widened when Horangi called him beautiful.
He felt the urge to cover his face again, it was too much for him.
"H-Huh? N-no..." he mumbled, not knowing what else to say.
The colonel was blushing like crazy now and it was pretty obvious. For a split second his eyes darted away but he wanted to look back up at Horangi.
“You’re very handsome, you know,” Horangi playfully elbowed König’s side. “Makes me feel all the more special seeing your face.”
As Horangi nudged him, his face reddened even more. He was at a loss for words, never having been spoken to like this before. To be fair, this was his first.
König cleared his throat to try and get some words out, his mind racing and his anxiety starting to build. The last thing he wanted was to mess this up.
"I uh," he stuttered as he tried to find the right words.
After a long moment he just simply smiled at Horangi.
"...You're pretty."
“Oh, and he’s charming, too?” Horangi asked jokingly, but there was adoration behind it. “How’s the hot cocoa? I usually have it with mint, but I’m not too picky right now.”
He felt so warm with Horangi calling him charming and complimenting his looks. He was having trouble finding the right words to respond to everything.
Slowly, König took in another deep breath before trying to speak.
"It's pretty good," he mumbled, feeling nervous at his compliment. "I don't mind it, I'm just glad we can talk in private now. It's nice."
He looked over at Horangi, his face flushed as he tried to look at him directly. He wanted more compliments but he also didn't want to come off as too needy or overbearing.
“May I ask a question?” Horangi asked, but quickly added. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
He looked over at Horangi, curiosity in his eyes.
"Sure...Go ahead."
He was anxious, wondering what Horangi wanted to ask him. He started to sip at his hot chocolate, trying to calm his nerves so he could be more relaxed and maybe even more charming.
“Why do you always wear a sniper hood even when you’re not on missions?” Horangi said.
Horangi paused to take another sip of his hot cocoa.
“I mean, you’re handsome. I love looking at you now, but me, I wear this all the time because-you know-my face is covered with scars. I don’t like people staring at them.”
König’s breath caught in his throat as Horangi kept calling him handsome. He blushed with embarrassment as he thought about the question, looking forward as he sipped his hot chocolate.
"I guess..." he said, his voice sounding more calm now. "I don't like people seeing my face either. Y-you know…how anxious I get."
“You don’t?” Horangi frowned, but it turned into a light pout. “Does that make me special, then?”
He blushed at the pout the longer it stuck on Horangi's lips.
"Yes..."
The Austrian found it difficult to say anything else due to his face being so flush. He felt a lump gathering in his throat as his mind raced. Horangi was making him feel so many different ways, it was like he didn't know how to feel or what to say. All he knew was he liked the way he made him feel and he was glad he could talk to him right now.
“Cutest ever,” Horangi grinned. “Guess it means we won’t have to wear our masks like that when we’re alone, yeah?”
"Y-Yeah, I guess it means that," he mumbled, his brain going haywire.
And he couldn't tell if he was blushing because he was nervous or because of what Horangi had said.
"I uh..." he paused, trying to think of what else he could say.
“Pretty guy,” said Horangi. “I’d kiss you. You’ve got the kissable lips.”
All hell let loose in König’s body, but time itself stood still.
König felt awfully shy all of a sudden, as if he wished the moment would never end and a bit scared that he might say the wrong thing and cause him to leave him right there. He felt the lump in his throat forming again.
Horangi couldn’t have been serious, could he? He had to have been joking.
Horangi hummed, patiently waiting for König to speak.
He took a breath, calming himself before taking a chance as he spoke. It was what he wanted to do after all, he didn't want to stay quiet and miss this chance. Not after what Horangi had just said.
"Hey, uh," his words were still quiet and nervous but in comparison to how he was just a moment ago, he was more confident. "Can I...Can I ask you something?"
“Go on, big guy,” Horangi sipped his hot cocoa and waited patiently again, giving König the warmest of smiles.
He took another deep breath, trying to think of the right way to say it.
"Uhm...Are you....Are you single?" he asked with caution, waiting with a baited breath for Horangi to respond.
He felt his whole body flush as he waited, like his life depended on Horangi's answer.
Horangi chuckled.
“You asking if I have a girl at home?” Horangi took a final sip of his now lukewarm hot chocolate, emptying the cup. “Mighty thoughtful of you, but I don’t. A few flings here and there, but never feelings attached. You know?”
König felt such relief come over him when he heard that Horangi was single. He was happy to hear that though it made his mind race even more.
"Oh, I uh...." he mumbled, looking down at the hot chocolate for a moment.
He couldn’t lose his chance.
"I don't have a girlfriend, either," he said softly, looking back up and facing Horangi.
Horangi gave him another encouraging smile. How beautiful his scars aligned with his lips, König thought.
"And uh..." he blushed again, now starting to speak even quieter than before. "I kind of..."
Horangi didn’t say a thing, but he listened intently, giving König the time he needed to sort out his words.
"I think...I think I like you," he mumbled, feeling both nervous and excited at the same time.
He turned his body towards Horangi, wanting to see his reaction.
"I know it's all been pretty sudden...uh...I like the way you speak to me...the way you make me feel..."
Suddenly, he couldn’t bear to look at Horangi in the face. He stared at the tiled floor.
"I don't have any romantic experience...but this...this is definitely how I'm supposed to feel...I think."
His words were quiet but he wanted Horangi to hear him loud and clear.
Horangi‘a gaze softened.
“Oh?” He tilted his head. “How long have you felt this way, König?”
"For a little while now..." he mumbled, turning a little red thinking back to their previous interactions.
There was no indication of a rejection yet, so König spilled out his feelings
"At least...I never paid much attention to it until recently. But whenever we spoke...you gave me this sort of warm feeling...and I liked it.... I just thought it was my anxiety and you were just being friendly."
He glanced at Horangi before looking away again.
"I think-I think I was just afraid to admit that I liked you so much..."
Horangi’s heart immediately melted.
“Thank God,” he sighed, before laughing.
His eyes widened when Horangi laughed.
König looked at him, wondering what the reason for it was and if it was something he had said. He turned a deeper shade of red, if that was even possible at this point, when he didn't quite understand why he had laughed.
"What?" he asked with confusion, his voice was quiet and shy again.
“What? Oh!” Horangi composed himself. “Glad you feel that way, because fuck! I’ve liked you longer. Liked you ever since I first saw you that day on the helicopter. You probably don’t even remember, but I guess that doesn’t even matter now, does it?”
König’s mouth dropped when he heard Horangi say that. It couldn't be true.
He looked at Horangi, searching for the truth in his eyes as he couldn't comprehend that Horangi might like him the whole time.
This couldn’t be true. This had to be a joke. Some cruel joke. Friends do this all the time, right?
"Y-You've liked me?" he asked quietly. "B-But....I thought I was just annoying..."
He had always tried to keep his distance and said so little, how could Horangi possibly like him?
“No, no, no,” Horangi gently rubbed at König’s arm. “Never. Why did you think I always took got coffee and food to your room whenever I had the time, big guy? You don’t see me doing that to anyone else, now, do you?”
Quickly, König’s eyes widened as Horangi mentioned how often he did bring König’s meals to him because of how he’d never want to leave his quarters, and he was right. He didn't do that with anyone else, at least not as much as he did with König.
"I just...I just thought you could deal with me...and my anxiety..." he muttered, unable to speak louder than a whisper.
Was he really that dense?
"How did I...not pick up on that? I thought..."
His mind was racing as he tried to think back to their many interactions. What did he do to make Horangi think he liked him? Was it his shyness?
Horangi grinned, the scars stretching as his lips curled upwards.
“I wouldn’t have you any other way, big guy.”
König’s whole body flushed at the smile and the words. He felt his heart jump in his chest as he looked at Horangi.
Horangi...liked him? Him? In that way? He didn't believe it, it had to be some mistake or he was dreaming or something. But Horangi looked so sincere, his smile full of genuine love.
Words got caught in König’s throat and he didn't know how to properly respond, his heart skipping a beat. The words he wanted to say were just stuck.
“Anxious or not, I adore you,” Horangi said. “Now come here,” he opened his arms. “Bring it in.”
His heart almost stopped as he heard Horangi say those words. He felt happy and wanted to scream and run at the same time.
He took a deep breath and leaned over to embrace Horangi, burying his face into his chest, taking deep breaths in to calm himself.
He felt safe as he stayed in Horangi's embrace, happy at the feeling of finally being able to let go and let someone see him and help him. He embraced Horangi tightly as he felt his anxiety diminish and his heart flutter.
“What do you say after this, we go for a walk outside?” Horangi asked, mumbling into König’s ear. “It’s cold, but another cup of hot cocoa outside wouldn’t hurt, no?”
Horangi's words sent shivers down König’s spine, but they also made him nod in agreement. He wanted to spend all day with him and the idea of hanging out outside together made his heart skip a beat.
He gave him a light pat on his back, his face still buried in Horangi's chest.
"A walk and hot cocoa sounds perfect," he mumbled. "I'd love to go with you."