Archive of Our Own

Like a lot of things, Skull wasn’t really sure when it actually started.

He and Aviators had been inseparable from one another since they first met in kindergarten and a bright-eyed squidling decided to sit next to his big mysterious classmate who never talked. Skull had been perfectly fine with remaining silent and friendless at the time, but now he could never even dream of his life playing out the same without Aviators.

That was one beginning that he did know. But some of the others? Those weren’t as set in stone.

As a prime example, the first crush. Technically, the feelings Skull had developed for his best friend had probably started sometime around when they were first forming Team Purple. After cutting ties with Vintage, Skull was able to pay a lot more attention to Aviators and appreciate his company a lot more. Though at that stage, you could hardly call what Skull was feeling a ‘crush.’ No, the little thoughts that popped into his head every now and again or the extra seconds with his gaze spent lingering on those sunglasses concealing the shiny gold eyes that not Vintage or Omega had ever even known were there…they were but seeds, planted deep underground before they properly sprouted.  

And sprout they did.

Though for the most part, the sharp-eyed Skull had been blind to it, he had indeed been growing a bit of a crush on Aviators. Little by little and completely on their own, the thoughts and feelings increased. Maybe it would be a little nice to be able to call Aviators his boyfriend, or be able to give him a kiss on the forehead or the cheek. 

This all culminated when he finally accepted that yes, he did like his best friend after the Square King Cup finished. But hey, that was fine! Skull had crushes before, even on other friends, and they’d all run their course and gone away. There wasn’t any good reason why this one wouldn’t be the same…despite the fact that it was on his closest friend in the whole world, who he lived with and saw daily. …He resolved that he wasn’t going to lose any sleep over it. After all, it was likely just teenage hormones being teenage hormones.

Of course, Skull was so, so wrong. 

He didn’t just like Aviators, he loved him. The kind of love that was so deeply set that it could only really sprout from a relationship that had been built up for years. The kind of love that might have always been there, but Skull never really noticed and always attained it to the fact that he didn’t have any other friends as close as Aviators. He was constantly there for Skull, ready to keep him stable and grounded, but would also never let an opportunity to make the sniper laugh fly past him. 

Skull realized this fact - and though it was terrifying and dreadful and relieving all at the same time, it was a fact - late at night a week or so after the Square King Ranked Cup while struggling to fall asleep. 

That was another beginning he knew. While lying there and having difficulty comprehending this revelation, something new and foreign instantly took over his attention. There was this sudden tickle feeling somewhere in his chest, squeezing tight around his insides. Then came a moment of tension, like the second right before you sneeze, and then his entire body lurched up and forward, desperate to cough something up and get it out, fast. 

The spasm lasted only a few seconds before the strange feeling wilted away as if there was never any feeling there at all. Curious, confused and concerned, Skull’s eyes flicked down to his blanket to find out what the culprit was. It might have been dark, but the amount of moonlight shining through Skull’s curtains he always forgot to close was enough to make the wet object nestled into a fold on his comforter sparkle. At first he had no clue what it was, but one quick swipe of his finger across the velvety surface made the answer terrifyingly clear: it was a flower petal. 

As if mesmerized, Skull carefully took the delicate petal off of his blanket and cradled it in his palm. Even though the feeling in his chest was gone, an entirely different kind of discomfort started pooling in his stomach. Was this what he thought it was? Did it mean what he thought it meant…?

Part of him wanted to deny it, but the situation presented itself with a very clear case. 

That was Hanahaki. Which meant that he loved Aviators…and Aviators didn’t feel the same way. That scenario was something he had sort of assumed outright, but kept in the back of his mind a sliver of hope for self-indulgence’s sake. But this…this made it all too clear.

Skull was screwed. Skull was so, so, screwed. 

—

With only one petal, Skull had no way of figuring out what type of flower it was. All he knew was that it was yellow - a bright, sunny yellow, the type of color that just read ‘happiness.’ (It was also close to the color that Aviators’ eyes shone in the sun, provided his unhelpful thoughts.) However, happiness was the last feeling on his mind upon making this discovery. Right now, it was mostly disappointment, fear, and most prominently: dread.

For a while, Skull tried to ignore it. He guessed that some part of him thought that if he didn’t do anything about it, there was a chance it would resolve itself and leave him be. He knew too much about this disease from articles and stories to truly believe that, but because he was scared and he didn’t want to be, that part kept hoping and Skull kept holding onto it and doing nothing.

It didn’t help that he and Aviators shared a team and an apartment, meaning all the little interactions that used to be normal suddenly served as a reason to worry. During a match, Aviators splatted someone that was coming up behind Skull and gave him a Booyah. Skull was going to return it, but was interrupted by a cough and a flower petal. Luckily, his bandana prevented Aviators from spotting it, and he was able to return the Booyah in a slightly raspy voice a few seconds later.

After this close call, Skull started wearing his bandana around the house more often. Aviators didn’t say anything about it, and probably just assumed Skull wanted to make sure he never forgot it while going out. That was the main reason Aviators often still wore his sunglasses at home, even though they always had the lights turned down low so his sensitive eyes wouldn’t be hurt. 

Also, he suspected that sometimes Avi just forgot to take them off. He had this strict code to never let other people he didn’t know well see what he looked like, and Skull would respect that. It wasn’t like seeing his eyes would help him much with his current situation. 

Despite knowing each other for years and being long aware of exactly what they both looked like, showing their full faces had become some sort of sign of intimacy for the two inklings. For the period of time when they were on the team with Vintage and Omega and drifting apart a little bit, they started using the discardment of their headgear as a mark of a serious talk. Aviators - or maybe Skull, but usually Avi - would say “Look at me” and take off his sunglasses. In turn, Skull would respond by tugging down his bandana, and they’d have no other choice but to address whatever the matter at hand was.

Skull swallowed down the tickle that was making its way up his throat by just thinking about it. Hopefully this situation wouldn’t come to that, because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle it. 

They had their usual Friday movie night, and when Aviators sat close enough to Skull that their sides pressed against each other, the petals came up before Skull could react and landed somewhere into the folds of his bandana.

As soon as the coughs started erupting from his friend, Aviators paused from scrolling through different movies and turned to face Skull. “You okay?” He asked softly. 

Skull just nodded, eyes shut tight so he doesn’t have to see whatever face Avi was making right now. He pulled slightly on the edge of the bandana and two yellow petals were loosened from the folds before they fell into his hand. Two at once? That was a first. 

Aviators thankfully didn’t press further and they got on with their movie night with minimal trouble. That is, if you don’t count Skull’s attention being locked on the heat between their bodies the entire time. 

After the first time that two came up at once, it only increased from there. Every interaction he had with his friend that could be even remotely flustering resulted in him spewing up more flowers, more often. Now, instead of just one petal, (or maybe two if things were really bad), three were coming up together at the utmost minimum. To make things worse, now the aching, squeezing feeling in his chest wouldn’t just go away after the petals escaped his lips, but instead stuck around for a few minutes like a festering weed. The outbursts of coughing lasted longer and made him feel like he couldn’t even breathe until they were over. 

More days went by. More flowers came. Every time there were more of them, and every time the ache took longer and longer to go away. Skull was awoken by embarrassing dreams and coughed up flowers all over his bedspread two nights in a row. He wasn’t even sure if he could put them in the trash can for fear of Aviators seeing them, so he shoved them all in the drawer of his bedside table. 

This was getting bad, and it was getting bad fast. Skull was starting to feel like he didn’t even want to look at his friend anymore. The only positive thing he could get out of it all was that he had enough petals to finally figure out what kind of flowers they were: roses. That was just great, wasn’t it? The flower of love itself, sprouting in his lungs and making each time he so much as talked to Avi into a gamble. 

He would tell someone and ask them for advice, but he knew exactly what they’d all say. They’d tell him to just confess how he felt to make everything much easier, and that Aviators would understand. But all Skull would do was just continue to tell himself that he would, he was going to, but he just wasn’t ready yet. He wasn’t ready to see the look on the purple inkling’s face, wasn’t ready to hear the gentle rejection - because of course Avi would reject him gently, he was far too nice to react badly to it. But that scenario was somehow almost as terrifying as the one where he told Skull that they couldn’t be friends anymore - at least, not without a remaining sour aftertaste.

“Skull, are you alright?” Army had asked him during an S4 meeting, his brow furrowed in concern. “You sound awful.” 

Skull stared at the orange inkling. If he had noticed that Skull was speaking even less than normal and often breaking out into shallow coughing fits, then surely Aviators had as well. If so, why hadn’t he said anything? The only reactions he’d gotten from the outbursts had been worried looks and sometimes a few pats on the back. Maybe he knew, and wanted to see how long this would last until Skull somehow managed to fall out of love with him or - ugh. Or the alternative. 

“Skull?”

He snapped back to reality and found both Aloha and Mask also looking at him. Come on, Skull! He wasn’t dead…not yet, at least. 

“I’m…not doing very well,” he mustered up, cringing at how horrible his voice sounded. 

Army opened his mouth to speak again, but Skull held up a hand to silence him. “There’s nothing you can do about it. I’ll…it’ll get better.” 

Army nodded slowly, though he was clearly not fully satisfied with the answer.  “Okay. Take care of yourself, Skull.”

The meeting went on and finished up within a half hour, but a tense feeling continued to hang in the air. 

He had to just tell him. People were noticing and he needed this to be over and done with. It was going to be painful, but continuing to have constant trouble breathing and more and more people asking about it seemed like it would be just as awful. At least confessing wouldn’t cost him his life. Even if - ugh, even though Aviators didn’t reciprocate his feelings. 

That was, if he could get the words out.

Skull didn’t have the energy for any battles today, so was glad that Aloha hadn’t offered him any. The laughable amount of sleep he’d gotten last night was sending him straight from the meeting to his apartment - regardless of Aviators’ presence just behind the door. It may have been mid-afternoon, but Skull was ready to just fall on his bed and pass out, hopefully forgetting about all of his worries for a few hours. 

He had his eyes dead-set on his bedroom from the moment he opened the door. Aviators was sat on the couch looking at his phone, but Skull was only able to muster up a quick nod of acknowledgement towards his friend as he sped-walk through their little apartment. 

“Skull.”

At that one word, he stopped dead in his tracks as if he had run into some invisible wall. The tone was so serious and so unlike the Aviators he knew that even just hearing his name made Skull hesitate on his advances forward. 

Slowly, like he was about to face some horror-movie abomination, Skull picked his eyes up from the floor and turned to face his friend. Aviators had put his phone down, arms crossed over his chest with concern and annnoyance evident on his face.

Skull and Aviators hadn’t really hung out much for the past little while. …Had Skull been trying to avoid Aviators? Well, not at first, but when every second interaction with someone resulted in coughing up flowers, one would generally start to gravitate away from them regardless of how much they loved them. Skull hadn’t wanted to get worse, and he hadn’t wanted Aviators to get worried. So… maybe that counted as avoiding.

But what was right in front of him was clear. Aviators knew. Skull wasn’t sure how much he knew, but he definitely knew something. And it didn’t look like he was about to easily get out of it.

So much for that nap. 

Aviators sighed and stood up from the couch, taking a step or two in Skull’s direction. His voice staying stern but softening slightly, he spoke: “Listen, Skull. You’re a lot of things, but one thing you aren’t is subtle. I don’t know why you’ve been trying to hide this from me, but I know that you’re sick.” Skull shut his eyes tight as if that would somehow make it all go away. The slight squeeze in his chest was already sprouting. Voice getting louder, Aviators continued. “I hear you coughing constantly, and yet you never bring it up even though it's getting bad, and now you won’t even pay attention to me! So what is it, Skull? What could possibly be happening to you that you have to hide it from me?!”

Aviators was now a few steps closer to Skull than when he started, breath coming out faster and shallower than normal after the outburst. Biting his bottom lip so hard it threatened to bleed, Skull opened his eyes to (almost) look at Aviators. He was only really able to take one quick glance at him before his stomach lurched and he had to bite down on his lip harder. But everything he was feeling right now must have translated into his expression, because the charred ends of anger present in Aviators’ words and face flaked off almost instantly.

Just say it, you idiot! You’ve admitted it to yourself countless times, you know you have the words! Do you want to vomit flowers for the rest of your life? 

Something - whether it was the lump in his throat, the tickling in his chest, or just the terrifying what-ifs and outcomes running through his head - kept Skull silent. He just - he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell him. He wasn’t ready. Skull inwardly cursed himself at his own incompetence.

Aviators sighed again, though this one was more of a sad, sympathetic sigh rather than exasperated such as the one from before. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just…annoyed, you know?”

Skull didn’t respond. 

“Hey...” A hand was placed on his arm, gently nudging him around before it left just as quickly.

“Look at me.”

It served more of a warning to Skull more than anything, and even as he tried to tear his gaze away, he was rendered immobile and only able to watch as Aviators brought his sunglasses up to his forehead for the first time in ages. A faint nervous blush - though he didn’t seem very nervous -  appeared on his cheeks, but all Skull could focus on were those eyes. His eyes were exactly like Skull remembered: dark yellow, but not murky and swampy - shining like gold. His pupils were large and often looked slightly unfocused, and his photophobia meant that Skull almost always saw him squinting if it wasn’t night time. Though despite the bright sunlight shining in through the windows, his face was nothing but an expression of fear and worry. 

Skull didn’t return the gesture of pulling down his bandana. Instead, he just stared at his friend with wide eyes and a growing pit in his stomach. In fact, his entire torso hurt. …Cod, he couldn’t - 

“Skull? Are you alright?” 

He couldn’t breathe. He - 

Body bursting into a panic and muscles going into autopilot, Skull whipped around and began scrambling to his bedroom door, Aviators’ cry of his name being easily overpowered by the roaring in his head. He only barely made it into the room before the momentum and breathlessness caught up to him, collapsing onto his hands and knees. 

His entire body shook, violent coughs further tearing at his throat that had already been left raw after the weeks of having these awful flowers. He tried to inhale, though it came out more as a wheeze before being interrupted by a choke and something forced its way out of his mouth. It must have been an entire flower, and even in his blurred vision he could see splotches of purple across the petals - blood. Two warm objects appeared on his trembling back, and he was hardly even able to recognize them as hands before another fit of coughs and spits started up again. It hurt, it hurt so bad, more than any of the other aches and jabs of pain he had endured thus far. Another whole flower, then what felt like just a mass of petals, all the while the only other thing he could feel besides pain was Aviators’ presence behind him, muttering words he couldn’t hear and holding onto him. 

Skull took in a long, shaky wheeze, and then let it out with only an interjection from a single petal. Upon the revelation that the seconds-long torture that was that fit seemed to be over, Skull struggled to suck in as much air as possible, hands struggling to keep him up and pinpricks of tears forming in his eyes. The hands on his back began rubbing gentle circles in an attempt to soothe.

Still breathing heavily, Skull glanced forward to take in the mess he had made on the floor. Two entire flowers and a pile of petals, brilliant yellow contrasting against the purple that he knew was his blood. Just seeing the sight and knowing what it meant made him feel like he wanted to throw up again. 

It seemed that from his position on his knees behind the inkling, Aviators had only been paying attention to Skull by this point. Only when Skull turned his focus to the pile of blood-stained roses did he even notice them. 

“Flowers…? …Oh, wait, is this-?” He leaned down to Skull, hands still caressing his back. “So those coughs…you have Hanahaki Disease, don’t you?”

At this, Skull was unable to hold back a broken sob, arms finally giving way as he fell to the ground in defeat. 

Immediately recognizing his mistake, Aviators shifted his position a little bit and fully wrapped his arms around the other, bringing him off of the ground and placing his chin on Skull’s shoulder. “Oh no, Skull, I’m sorry…” he mumbled while Skull quietly cried, the tears and sniffs again rattling his aching chest. He felt so pathetic. “It’s okay, you’re okay, shhh…” 

Eventually Skull’s tears thinned out and quieted down, and the two were able to share a moment of silence together. Aviators untied Skull’s bandana and carefully took it off for him, laying it down on the ground beside them. The inside was thoroughly stained with spit and blood. Then, cautiously, Aviators spoke again.

“Um…I know that Ha - that this disease is caused by - it’s caused by someone not loving you back, right?” He fumbled around a little and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Skull felt cold from where his touch had left him, but luckily it returned right away. “If you tell me who it is, we could call - or maybe text, texting would be better - we could text them and you could just tell them. Telling them makes it go away, right? It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to and I won’t judge you if you do…”

“Aviators.”

The hold around his waist loosened ever so slightly.

“…Yes?”

Skull felt the remaining ache in his chest tighten and he kept his eyes focused on the ground, on those horrible yellow roses. Just say it, he told himself. Just say it and it’ll all be over.

Everything.

So, though his tears were threatening to return from merely thinking about what was about to happen, he opened his mouth and let the words flutter out before anything else could. 

“It’s you.” 

Aviators’ chin immediately shot up from where it was resting on his shoulder. 

“W-what?” 

Despite everything, Skull still found his stutter cute enough to quirk up the corners of his mouth. However, when he turned to face Aviators and accept the fate he would be given, it rapidly devolved into a sad, hopeless smile than anything else. 

“You heard me,” he said, bringing up one of his sweaty hands to wipe his eyes. “It’s you. I’m in love with you, Aviators, and that’s why all this is happening.” He let out a small sigh, turning away again, and a single petal escaped his lips - without any coughing to force it out, either. Just a single petal, smeared in purple and causing a very different type of pain. Skull watched the petal flutter down between his legs. “...It’s just the stupidest thing, isn’t it…?”

For a few long seconds, it seemed that Aviators didn’t know what to say. So instead Skull leaned his head back on his friend’s shoulder, basking in this wonderful, awful moment and waiting for whatever was about to come for him with a mix of dread and relief, like euthanasia. 

The arms around him tightened once more, squeezing his sore torso. Aviators’ voice was hesitant and coated in something unknown. “Skull, I…” 

Skull wanted to intervene, to tell him that it was okay that Aviators didn’t feel the same way, but instead he just remained quiet and let him piece together his thoughts and feelings. 

“…Did you think I didn’t love you?”

Skull sighed, the tears’ earlier threats beginning to come true. “No, Avi, I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you.” 

“Yeah, I know, but, did you think that you had to hide that? That I would lash out at you if I found out and not want to be your friend anymore?” 

“Well…yeah, kind of,” Skull admitted, chest tightening ever so further. “...Something like that.”

Aviators smiled fondly at him and started to slowly rock the two of them back and forth. “Oh, Skull…listen to me, okay? When I first got the notion that you were sick, I was terrified. I didn’t know anything and I didn’t want to pressure you if you didn’t feel like telling me, but the more I thought about it, the more worried I got. And if you had just told me it was Hanahaki, I probably would have figured out my feelings for you a lot sooner.”

The tears were fully falling now, silently streaming down his face. He covered it with his hands. “I’m sorry, Avi. For avoiding you, and not telling you, and - and everything. I was just -”

Hey, wait a minute.

He turned his head a little to meet his friend’s eyes. “…Feelings for me?”

At this, a beautiful shade of purple bloomed across Aviators’ face, golden eyes wide. “Oh. I… I didn’t mention that?”

Endeared by his friend’s flustered state and this sudden turn of events, Skull just shook his head. It was a simple gesture as an answer to a simple question, but it had another meaning, too: tell me more. 

Aviators chuckled sheepishly, bringing one hand up to readjust his glasses higher up on his head. “Oops, sorry. Um - well, because I didn’t know what was wrong with you, I was thinking about you a lot and how much I cared about you and your well-being. And - only a few days ago, really - I kinda realized - yeah, it was just like you said. I didn’t just love you as a friend, a leader and a person, I was also in love with you. I dunno when it started, really. Maybe I’ve been in love with you for years and just never really noticed. I was - uh - I was planning on waiting a while before actually telling you because there were more pressing matters at hand, but I guess the present is as good of a time as ever!” He ended his confession with another sheepish laugh.

Skull sat there with his mouth hanging open like a salmonid, absolutely flabbergasted with the information that had just been presented to him. His own face was certainly at least slightly purple by now as well.

“You,” he pointed to Aviators. His hearts were pounding, enough to drown out anything in his lungs. “Are in love with me?”

Aviators’ shoulders moved a little like he was planning to shrug, but then they dropped again and he smiled. He tilted his head into Skull’s neck ever-so-slightly, engaging in the impression of a cuddle. “Skull: my leader, my roommate, my closest friend in the whole world: I, Aviators, am in love with you. I would like to continue to fight by your side and watch movies on Fridays with you, but I would also like to hold your hand and kiss your face and be able to call you my boyfriend.” He raised a brow. “There, is that what you want?”

Skull suppressed a noise that would have qualified as a giggle, feeling giddy and warm and happy for the first time in what felt like forever. He wiped his face, shifted around and gave his answer to Aviators in the form of a hug. Oh, how he had missed their hugs. The type of long, quiet hug where it felt like any secret could be told so long as it was kept to a whisper so only they could hear it.

However, just because some things had worked out didn’t mean it all had, and something strange occurred to Skull after he swallowed and remembered how raw his throat was. “So then Hanahaki…” He began, eyes glancing towards the pile of flowers that he wasn’t looking forward to cleaning. “You can get it not just from unrequited love, but from love that you think was unrequited?”

Aviators pulled back a little bit. His face scrunched up a little as he thought about it, cheeks squished and lips pursed in a way that would have made Skull just tackle him to the ground and kiss him if he were a little more impulsive and a little less tired. “Well, I guess…I hadn’t really realized my feelings when you first got it, and by the time I did figure myself out, things were already -”

Realization flashed in his eyes. “Oh, shit, Hanahaki!” He momentarily broke farther out of the hug and held Skull by his shoulders. “That was so scary! I was terrified, I - I thought you were dying or something! Do you want, like, some water, or some cough medicine, or some candy, or - or something??”

Skull just blinked. All these moments with Aviators, he hadn’t once felt that tickle return. So, he closed his eyes and was able to take a deep, long breath, taking in the feeling of air flowing through his lungs freely. Sure, there was some soreness in his chest, but it was nowhere near the same kind he had been dealing with for far too long - just an aftermath of the coughing fit. Opening his eyes again, he concluded with satisfaction, “…I think they’re gone.”  

Aviators let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. I’m still getting you water, though.” He got up from the floor, guiding Skull with him and keeping firm arms under Skull’s own to support him. 

Skull was happy to be led to his bed. After all of that, he just wanted to finally take a nice, long nap. “I’m sorry again,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry too,” replied Aviators. “It’s okay, though, it's all over now. Just - if something like this happens again, promise me you’ll let me help you? Or at least don’t let it fester this long?”

“I’ll try, but no promises.” 

“Sku~ll…”

“Okay, yes. I won’t.”

After being seated down on his bed, Skull realized something and stuck his head past Aviators to glance at the doorway. “Shouldn’t I clean up the flow-“ 

But Aviators shut down that idea right away by pushing his forehead back. It wasn’t very forceful, but Skull used it as a catalyst to flop down backwards onto his bed. “Don’t worry about it,” said Aviators. “I’ll get it all under control, you just lay down here and rest.” 

“Okay…” Skull mumbled, grabbing his covers and letting his eyes flutter shut - but not before seeing the purple inkling give him one last smile. Avi was so good to him…how lucky was Skull, to get to have a best friend like him?

Wait…was boyfriend the better word to use now? Could he use both?

Oh cod…Aviators was actually in love with him…

Instead of worrying himself with thoughts that could definitely be dealt with on a later date, Skull got himself comfortable and listened to Aviators move around the apartment. He seemed to manage with cleaning up those nasty flowers using what sounded like just a wet washcloth or something. All the blood stains might be a problem, but Skull assured himself that they’d probably be able to find a way to get rid of them online. Remember, he wasn’t supposed to be worrying about that right now.

It was over. 

(Just not everything.)

Aviators filled up a glass of water and came back into Skull’s room. The inkling was just on the brink of unconsciousness, but he was able to sense the side of the mattress sagging a little bit when Aviators sat down on it. After announcing that he had brought water, Aviators asked in a quiet voice, “Could I lay here with you for a little while?”

Skull made some vague grumbles. 

“...Is that a yes or a no?”

“It’s a yes,” Skull clarified, though those came out hardly sounding like words as well.

Nevertheless, Aviators managed to understand them, and promptly crawled into the bed along with Skull. Nearly instinctively, Skull rolled closer to him so he could cuddle and gain more heat, and Aviators’ response to this was wrapping both of his arms around the other once more and holding him close. Skull tucked his head into his partner’s neck and breathed slow and deeply, dried tears still present on his cheeks but happy and content with the moment.

Like spring coming in after a fierce winter, a new beginning.