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“Carlos, I can't do this anymore.”
Lando said calmly, contrasting with the heated argument they’ve been hadding for the last hour.
“What? ‘This’ what? What are you talking about?” Carlos snapped. He was red, the first buttons off his shirt unbuttoned. The glass of whiskey clicking on the table.
“Us! I can’t be here anymore just waiting for you to explode with me again! I’m tired of this shit!”
“Oh cabrón, stop being so stubborn!” Carlos spitted the words, passing his hands through his hair.
Lando scoffs, not believing what he was hearing. He didn’t even remember why the fight started, but this time it escalated really fast. The alcohol in their systems making it worse. The words are harsh against each other.
“Now I’m stubborn? Oh my God Carlos I can’t believe that. If someone here is stubborn this person is YOU!” He almost screamed, pointing to him. “You think that you are the center of the universe! Everything must be about you! Everyone must look at you! Desire you! Be you or be with you! You always have to be the main character of everything! And if I don’t wanna be your side character then I’m stubborn? Grown up Carlos.
“Oh but that was the reason that you came after me, no?” He smiles sadistically. “Don’t act like you didn’t like it. You made this your personal challenge to get my attention every time. You loved the gossip, the flashes, the parties… Now that you don’t need me anymore, I’m the bad guy?”
“Don’t do that!” He walks toward him pointing his finger to Carlos' chest. “Don’t you ever do that! You know very well that I worked very hard to have my own career and I have it pretty solid. You always knew. Otherwise you would never look at me, right?” Lando smiles, knowing that he was right. An anonymous person would never catch his attention. “The point is, you’re so self centered, so stuck in that character that you even can recognise when someone really cares and likes you! I was here all this time cause I really liked you. You didn’t even remember, but once you showed me someone different, you showed me a Carlos that made me think with myself “wow, maybe I can love him! Perhaps I don’t need to close myself to this feeling!” And then this person that captivated me simply disappearded! I can’t make me your shadow anymore. I can’t make so little of myself for someone. Did you even like me, Carlos?”
It was his limit. Tears are now running down his face. Lando knew that this word wasn’t for him. All this gossip and dispute for power and fame. But he tried. He tried for him. Maybe now he understands why these famous people jump in one stunt relationship after another. Feelings are something complicated in this world.
“Don’t be dramatic, Lando. Why are you trying to make me look like the villain?” He looked like he would cry any minute. Lando would not fall for that again. “I know I can explode and be incoherent sometimes but please, let’s work it out, like we did before, right? I-I…” He started to stutter, the realization of the end of this discussion becoming clear in his eyes.”Of course I like you, cariño…”
“You like me… but do you want me? Do you really want me? Would you fight for me? Tell me you want me and I’ll stay, we’ll find a way for this to work. But if you tell me to move on, I’m gonna move on and we will never come back together.”
He already knew how this would end. Probably for days now, maybe that was the reason that he never unpacked his suitcase when they came home after a trip with some friends a couple days ago.
Looking at what they became, it was clear that they were not good together, they were not good for eachother. Maybe in another life they would fall in love and everything would be perfect, like in a fairytale. But not here, not now.
Carlos was static, Lando could see an ounce of fear in his eyes, but it was all. In the end he knew Lando was right and actually it made it worse. He was angry. He hated when he didn’t have control of things. How couldn't he not predict how bad it would end?
“Just say it. Please.” Lando was not asking for Carlos to love him. He was begging for Carlos to free him.
Carlos' eyes were now emotionless. It was like he built a wall, and Lando isn’t inside this walls anymore.
“I think it is time for you to move on, Lando.”