Work Text:
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Entering Dungeon 29
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Loading Instance 4732
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Welcome to Town: Hollyrose
Quests Available:
- (Optional) Roses for Renae
- (Optional) One Small Favor
- (Optional) All the Kings Horses
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“Awh man, only three quests?”
The voice that sounded through the town was tinged with annoyance. Every man, woman, child, beast, and creature could hear the voices of the four-member party that had crossed through the portal into the town of Hollyrose.
“Kiba, man, could you maybe not look a gift horse in the mouth?” another voice asked in a drawl.
“The fuck is a gift horse, Shika,” Kiba deadpanned back. “Tell me what the fuck a gift horse is.”
“Maybe it’s one of these king’s horses, huh?" A distinctly female voice sounded amongst the men. "Do you think this is the dungeon where we finally get mounts?”
“Oh, dibs the black horse, if they got one,” another male voice chimed. “Awh, look at the map! It’s tiny!”
“10 bucks you still get lost, Foxface,” Kiba snarked.
Sasuke, sat alone at a table in the bar on the other side of town, suppressed a groan. Another noisy adventuring party with their headsets turned up far too loud. The game had only been released to the public for about 12 hours at that point, and they were the 20th or so party that he’d seen. Some parties breezed through in 10 minutes, doing just a single quest or none at all, while most spent the half hour to do two, and only five had done all three – the third being the hardest of all.
And his.
He sipped at the drink placed before him, unable to taste it, and with not much else to do he listened to the party go about their business. Kiba, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sakura. Kiba and Sakura fought over who should fetch Renae the roses, but it was actually a competitive quest where they had to run around the outskirts of the town, plus its small glade and scant forest, to collect as many as they could.
Aside from Shikamaru opting to 'check Reddit’ for the latest ‘hints’, the others competed against each other - they shouted, laughed, and swore at each other as they utilized dash moves to race toward the roses. In the end, Naruto didn't have anywhere near enough, Sakura and Kiba came close, and Naruto had run around dropping individual roses for them to fight over – Sakura won, and Renae’s beau awarded her with a family heirloom pendant that halved thorn damage.
Sasuke understood what this was.
A game.
And he understood what he was, especially after hearing the term dropped by the many players that came through town – an NPC. He knew he had a job to do, and that it wasn’t the worst life he could have - both within the game and outside of it, for all he didn't know much of what was outside of the game. Certainly, he knew he had more fun than the other NPCs in their tiny, little town.
The adventurers, on the other hand, those that did exist outside of the game, were inane and stupid. So many of them had trouble with even the most simple of instructions and were in such a rush to progress that they skimped out on the joys of the town. Some he literally only saw as they sprinted from one portal to the next, bee-lining after they’d clocked that there were no ‘Story Quests’ in this dungeon/town.
And these four were no different - Bumbling, brutish adventurers intent on smashing every pot, crate, and haycart in the town.
At least these ones seemed to care about the quests.
They came across the horse quest next, and Sasuke sat back and listened as they worked. He couldn’t leave his place in the bar yet, but he’d glimpsed the horse fields before. Sometimes people started all three quests before they completed any, which meant Sasuke had trailed along while they’d picked roses and watched them work with the horses.
All the Kings Horses was a trick name – there was no King in their town. But the farrier's name was King, and he’d recently been turned into a werewolf.
…Yeah.
Anyway, King was waiting to sell his horses on to a new owner, as all the poor things were scared of him now. In the meantime, he hadn’t been able to work on their horseshoes for a good while, and all 20 horses needed to be: removed, cleaned and filed, medicated, and reset. It was grueling work, or at least it looked it.
Apparently, there was a lot of fast-paced ‘button-mashing’ involved.
Sometimes the parties just did five horses each, sometimes they set up an assembly line. This group did the latter.
Naruto started singing a jaunty tune as he went, making up silly lyrics about putting nails in, taking nails out, and shaking them all about. Sakura laughed. Sasuke kind of liked this quest - you could get a feel for how well a party knew each other based on how they occupied themselves around their button-mashing tasks.
They managed to fix up all the horses without much difficulty and, Sasuke was surprised to find, managed to get some of the horses friendly with King once more. Given time, the rest would’ve surely followed suit. Damn shame the instance wouldn’t last long enough for that.
Done with the horses, they went searching for their final quest – One Small Favor.
Sasuke braced himself - this was his quest, and this party was annoying.
“Where’s the quest marker?”
“There isn’t one.”
“What do you mean there isn’t one.”
“Maa, it’s called one small favor. Let’s talk to the townspeople, maybe they’ll point us in the right direction?”
“On it! I’ll go talk to the people in these houses, Naruto try these, Kiba-”
“Let’s start at the bar.”
“Which ones the bar?”
“The one with the glass mug symbol on it?”
“Fuck off. Yeah, alright.”
The bar wasn’t the only little shop in the town but, coincidentally, it was the correct answer. Sasuke could hear the jingle of their packs and equipment as they arrived and looked up as the door finally opened. Two brunettes, a rogue and a hunter, a girl with pink hair, a barbarian, and a blonde, carrying a staff and dressed in the robes of a healer – in garish orange.
For fuck sake.
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
“Bartender, or patrons, or – Hello,” Naruto, the blonde, strode into the bar before stopping. “Fuck me, he’s handsome.”
The blonde didn't turn in his direction, but it was not the first allusion to his appearance Sasuke had heard. He knew, also, that compared to everyone else in town, except maybe King, he had the most elaborate looks and garb.
“What, the shadowy guy in the corner? Maybe he’s the quest giver?” Sakura asked.
“10 bucks,” Kiba agreed.
“Nah, it’ll be the bartender,” Shikamaru said, before slinking up to the man polishing an empty glass mug.
The bartender and Shikamaru began speaking, and it was clear that Shikamaru was correct. The bartender had a problem with some big rats in the cellar, and if the party could take care of them, he would spare them a fistful of silver, a pint each, and point the team in the direction of some treasure.
As they were talking, the blonde came over to Sasuke’s table. There was no interaction button for Sasuke yet, so Naruto couldn’t start up a conversation, but he could see Sasuke’s name. “Oh man, Sasuke. What a pretty name.”
Then Naruto turned promptly, braced his hands on his knees, and flopped his ass up and down in Sasuke’s face three times before turning back around. Then he did it again. The loose clothing of his robes flapped in the breeze he stirred.
The twerking dance emote.
Sasuke watched on with amusement.
“You like that, Sasukeeeee?” Naruto asked, laughing.
Sasuke couldn’t care less, but he was vaguely amused. The healer had good energy.
Shikamaru accepted the quest, and the four disappeared down a ladder, and Naruto did the wave goodbye emote before they left. The rats were big but they moved fast, and while the fight wasn’t all that challenging, Sasuke did hear a small amount of screaming from the party.
Pesky rodent problem resolved, they came back upstairs, only a little dusty and bloody, and were rewarded with drinks and silver as promised. Then the bartender brought them over to Sasuke. He introduced Sasuke, and told them Sasuke knew where a great beast guarded a powerful treasure, and excused himself back to the bar.
“Ahhhhh yessss,” Kiba groaned in pleasure, “The dungeon 29 miniboss, let's GO!”
“Is handsome gonna come with us?” Naruto asked, “God, I sure hope so.”
“Is he an elf or something, he looks so svelte,” Sakura said, the first to find the button to take a seat at Sasuke’s table.
“Guys, can we focus?” Shikamaru asked, also sitting. Kiba dived into the last chair, and Naruto activated a huffy cross-armed emote while Shikamaru finally started the dialogue. “Alright, Emo Legolas, tell us your wisdom.”
Sasuke smirked, leaning back in his chair as he regarded the party.
Ah, the treasure? Yes, I know where it is. The path through the mountains to take you further on your journey has a hiddern door only I can guide you to. The treasure is powerful, but it is guarded by a fearsome creature.
“Tell us more about the treasure!” Naruto said. Sasuke knew all of them could see the dialogue options, but only the discussion starter could make the selection. Shikamaru was not cruel and chose the one Naruto had indicated.
I know not of it’s true power, only what I have heard or glimpsed. It looks like an orb of black fire, and magic emanates from it almost in waves.
“Ok ok ok, sounds hot,” Kibs said, making Sakura groan. Sasuke could picture the smirk that would’ve crossed Kiba’s face with how familiar he was with his own.
The fearsome creature is… unlike any I have seen before. A dragon, maybe, but worse, for its eyes bleed red, it’s fangs are sharp, and it has a taste for adventurers.
“Kobold, then? Or a Wyvern?” Shikamaru asked, forgoing the dialogue options for a moment.
“Could be a Dragonborn or a draconic shifter,” Sakura suggested, and he could the sounds of fluttering paper through her mic.
Sasuke knew exactly what the fearsome creature was. He knew the bestiary for the game backward and forward. It was a contrived creature, built with more buzzwords than necessary, and not something they’d find in any common monster guide.
“Anti-fire potions, then?” Kiba asked.
“Depends what color it is, right?” Naruto mused, “Sasuke said it’s a dragon but there’s no option to ask about the color.”
“Let’s see if we can find that option…” Shikamaru mused.
Ah, the treasure? Yes, I know where it is. The path through the mountains to take you further on your journey has a hidden door only I can guide you to. The treasure is powerful, but it is guarded by a fearsome creature.
Sasuke rolled his eyes again as the dialogue was accidentally restarted. Idiots.
The path through the mountains is dangerous for the townspeople, but probably not for you adventurers. I can draw you a map or I can-
“Yes!” Naruto shouted. “Yes, fuck, yes, make him come with us!”
“Jeez, yes, alright, hang on,” Shikamaru grumbled.
“Oh, what? So Naruto gets a boyfriend, but Renae can’t come with us? I would have treated her so much better than that other guy,” Kiba lamented.
“Fuck you, he’s my husband, we’re gunna get married, I love him so much,” Naruto gushed.
It’s probably best if I come along, I suppose. Are you ready to go?
“Fuck. Yes. Husbando, please, ohmygodhe’sstandingup-”
Sasuke had indeed placed his mug down and stood up, walking around the table to stand by Shikamaru. He’d roam ahead of the party leader while on the path, or between the group if they deviated.
“Oh, look at his beautiful BUTT,” Naruto cooed, crouching and standing and crouching and standing rapidly.
“He’s wearing a travel cloak,” Kiba snapped.
“If you move your camera to the floor and look up you can see plenty,” Naruto replied.
“You’re incorrigible,” Sakura chastised.
“Yes yes yes, I get that. Now, my husband wants to take me on an adventure. You guys wanna stay behind or…”
“Ha, and let you keep all the fat loot?” Kiba said. “As if. Lead the way, Emo Legolas.”
Sasuke didn’t know what an Emo Legolas was, but he assumed that was him. After a moment of the party not moving, he headed toward the door, and they quickly scurried after him. They exited the bar, and Sasuke continued to walk up the path out of town, intent on the caves.
“Ugh,” Kiba groaned. “Another walking NPC - And look how long the path is!” The character in hunter garb began to run around Sasuke in quick circles, sometimes trying to run through him, but the game would prevent Kiba from doing so.
Sasuke stopped with a smirk. Then, after a pregnant pause,
It’s a bit late in the day, so what’s say we get a head start while we’re still on level ground?
With that, Sasuke took off, and it took everything Kiba had – barring his hunter dash – to keep up with Sasuke. The group formed a small diamond around him and, while he wasn’t able to look behind him, he knew without looking that that's where Naruto was running.
“Sakura. Sakura the wind picked up his cape, SAKURA thewindpickeduphiscape,” Naruto shout-whispered.
“Yeah, okay, I admit it. That’s quite the nice collection of pixels shaped like a butt,” Sakura said.
Naruto did the fist pump emote – falling behind as it immediately stopped his running motion. He let loose a slew of curses and used his own dash abilities to catch up.
“Shikamaru, will you be our officiant?” Naruto asked.
“That depends. Can I have the fancy fire orb?” Shikamaru drawled, clearly long used to his friend's antics.
Sasuke wondered when he’d agreed to marry the noisy healer. Of course, he let it slide. They’d be done with Dungeon 29 within the hour, and he would not have to see the blonde ever again. Besides, it wasn’t like he could say anything outside of his parameters.
The ground tilted, becoming steep as they approached the mountain path. It was a harrowing, narrow path, with its own dedicated ‘cutscene’. Every dungeon had that: A dungeon miniboss, skippable or not, and a few cutscenes designed to immerse the characters.
He knew who would be chosen for the cutscene long before they arrived at that particular ledge. Naruto was still the one running at the back of the queue. Sasuke jumped first and turned around to watch the others. Shikamaru, Kiba, and Sakura all cleared it, but as Naruto made the jump all the players gasped as their vision went black – the telltale signal of the cutscene.
It was more detailed for Sasuke, too, as the player characters moved with more fluidity, even though the scene was the same time and again.
Naruto wasn’t controlling his character as it happened, but they were all watching. The healer made the jump, foot only just connecting with land that immediately gave way beneath his weight. The character made a noise of fear -
But that was completely undercut by Naruto’s own noise of fear, a sharp little cry cut off as he slapped his hands over his mouth.
Sasuke dove, grabbing the healer by the wrist, slapping the ground awkwardly, and grunting with pain as he caught the blonde character, before slowly hauling him up. The other three characters looked on in concern, but didn’t interfere.
“Oh, my hero, my husband, he saved me,” Naruto breathed. “I love him so much.”
Sasuke finished hauling Naruto up, then slumped against the nearby cliff face as Naruto's character sprawled on his hands and knees, panting – then the cutscene morphed back into regular game graphics. The other characters flitted about anxiously, as Naruto and Sasuke went through a long, custom, two-character emote.
Sasuke pushed himself off the wall, offered his hand to Naruto, and pulled him to his feet. Naruto was pulled perilously close before the emote ended and his character slipped back into his regular stance, the mini forcefield around his character keeping them apart.
I told you we need to be careful. I might not be quick enough to save you next time.
“Oh my god my husband I will fall over one million times and you will be there to catch me every time and I will beat this game and marry you and we can have digital children and-”
“You’re both men,” Sakura interjected.
“That ranks so low on the sheer amount of issues with what he just said,” Kiba snarked back.
“Yes, yes, you all want Emo Legolas, but Naruto saw him first, now can we please?” Shikamaru started ambling ahead of the group and Sasuke trotted ahead to join him, taking the lead once more.
“Y’all just jealous of our love,” Naruto cooed. “We’ll build a house on the mountainside and vacation in Dungeon 29 every spring.”
“You can’t move back through the dungeons, Naruto,” Shikamaru reminded.
“Anything’s possible. Our love will find a way.”
Sasuke could hear Naruto nodding.
Despite himself, he softened. Maybe Naruto was just being silly, maybe he’d pass through to Dungeon 30 without even remotely looking back, but for now, it felt kind of… nice. His abject puppy love, his infatuation, the attention he was laying at Sasuke’s feet. It was refreshing, and… Maybe he should start giving adventurers more slack.
After all, this was a game for them. Not life or death, but a fun leisure activity.
There were two other obstacles on the route.
A particularly large boar was having a tantrum, but Kiba had a perk that allowed him to clear it with a dialogue option. Honestly, though, Sasuke had heard Sakura – a barbarian – crack her real-life knuckles and wouldn’t have blamed the boar for straight-up fleeing.
And a fallen redwood tree.
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
“You have to jump,” Kiba coached.
“What's the button again?” Naruto asked.
“T,” Shikamaru said.
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
“T isn’t working,” Naruto snapped back.
“That’s because you custom-mapped everything, idiot,” Sakura said with a sigh. “If you were you, what button would you have assigned jump to?”
“I don’t know??? Maybe, like, J or something?” Naruto said
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
“Yes, FUCK, husband, I know, okay? Please, stop being so pet-”
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
“… That was a much shorter delay. Naruto, you’re pissing off your husband,” Shikamaru snarked, switching to the resting stance and laying flat on the ground.
“We just don’t use the jump button very much! It’s here somewhere, let me just-”
Naruto sat down. Then stood up.
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
Naruto twerked, then did the ‘macarena’, then twerked again.
"It's obviously not that button, Naruto," Sakura said with a sigh.
Hmm… We’ll have to jump over this dead tree.
Sasuke was honestly starting to get annoyed. Was this how he would spend the rest of this instance, holding the hand of his stupid idiot fiancé?
…
Idiot, you have to jump over this dead tree.
“Hold up, I think he said something different that time,” Sakura said.
“Oh, what? I didn’t see, I clicked straight through it,” Naruto said, doing a squat and then a cartwheel.
“Oooooh man, Ru, he’s crossed his arms. You have seriously pissed him off,” Kiba said with a snide chuckle. “What if he cancels our quest?”
“What? No! Sasuke, I’m sorry, I just don’t know where the damn button is!” Naruto groaned, aptly selecting the pulling hair emote.
Idiot, you have to jump over this dead tree.
“Oh my god you’re right, he totally hates me now, shit.”
Sasuke sighed, his fingers itching. He stood on the redwood tree, looking down at the blonde. He just needed to press a stupid button, right? How many buttons did he even have? Seriously, they had other stuff to do, Sasuke had other places to be (he didn’t), and the party needed to get on with their game.
His fingers itched for the first time. They itched to do something they weren’t tasked with doing, that they weren’t supposed to do. But… surely. It was the same as the cutscene, right? Reach down, grab Naruto’s wrist, and pull him up. It was possible, wasn’t it? His body knew how to move like that. It knew how to grab Naruto, it knew the feel of a wrist in his hand.
“Woah, what was that?”
“I don’t know! My screen flickered!” Sakura said. “Did we trigger another cutscene?”
“It failed, I think, so maybe… Woah.”
Sasuke saw it too, the sudden clarity of the cutscene, but it was jarring – jagged around the edge and flickering. He reached, not into a chasm, but from the trunk of a felled redwood. Thankfully, cutscene Naruto had no control, and his wrist suddenly appeared in Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke hauled Naruto up, and it felt… it felt like an effort. Not like earlier, when he was doing exactly as he was supposed to do, where the exhaustion meted on him was short-lived and decorative. This felt like a fight, like moving through honey or mud.
He hauled Naruto up onto the tree. Naruto’s feet hovered over the curved surface, and Sasuke rested back against a cliff face that wasn’t there. Then he hauled himself up, hauled Naruto up too, and they had that moment of perilous proximity…
The hushed silence of the party this time made it feel real.
Sasuke jumped down from the tree.
That trunk’s going to take the beavers weeks to get through.
He was shaking. Maybe not externally, but certainly internally. That had been crazy - acting outside of his parameters, triggering some kind of bullshit fake cutscene away from the cutscene trigger point. What had he been thinking? But just.. trying? It had been a rush. Was it really possible, to just… do things?
… Say things?
“What the fuck kinda glitch was that?” Kiba whispered, as if fearing Sasuke or the game itself might hear him.
“A unique one, that’s for sure,” Shikamaru said as the party slowly rejoined Sasuke on his trek up the mountain. “Possibly… one only someone as annoying as Naruto could trigger.”
“Hey!” Naruto snapped. “My husband just wanted to help me, alright? But damn, it looked like my screen was having a heart attack!”
“Mine, too,” Sakura confirmed.
Sasuke largely ignored them, having his own crisis even as he was called to continue hiking up the mountain path. He’d moved outside of his parameters. He’d spoken outside of his parameters. He’d always thought outside of his parameters but never wondered if that was an issue, or something unique to him. Certainly, the other towns folk never shifted a pinky they didn’t need to, but then... he had never been just some ordinary NPC.
Was he built like this on purpose? Was he meant to fight his design? To what end? The role he played in Dungeon 29 was fine – it made sense, it achieved objectives, and it put significant obstacles before the adventuring party. This dungeon was a nice small one, and it did its job well.
“Awh, he looks like he’s sulking,” Naruto cooed, his voice cutting through Sasuke’s musings. “It’s okay husband, I’ll leave you alone soon.”
“You would stay in this dungeon if you could,” Kiba said, voice ripe with his smirk.
“Yeah, but there’s no point, right? He’ll never say anything new. Heck, there’s nothing to say he’s even allowed to go back down to the bar and chill, he may not leave the mountain. It’s a sad existence, and I can only help it by ending it,” Naruto lamented dramatically.
“You’d kill your own husband?” Sakura snickered.
“He’s got so little freedom, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.” Naruto agreed solemnly. “Rather than standing there repeating the “Quest completed” line over and over again.”
Sasuke’s mouth popped open, his own smirk wide as he tried, god did he try, to drop that very line. It was in his script, it should’ve been possible, but he just couldn’t make it come out. After an agonizing few seconds of silence,
Ah, there’s the cave. Just a little further.
finally popped out, and it was a relief to deliver the words he was meant to - even if they came out 13.4 steps delayed from the exact moment on the path he was meant to.
“We’re not gonna have to say funeral rites when we get to the next dungeon, are we?” Shikamaru asked.
“Let’s see how the boss fight goes,” Naruto said.
Ah. Right. The boss fight.
They loaded into the cave, and Sasuke immediately turned left, tugging at a torch in the wall, and the party watched on as another segment of the wall shifted aside, revealing a descending staircase hewn from the rock itself, dim lights flickering in the depths.
The chamber is this way.
That way? You’ll finish passing through the mountains and move on to the next town. Adventurers such as yourselves will probably never make it back to Hollyrose.
The chamber? The fearsome creature and the black fire orb are contained within.
“You’re not going through all the dialogue options again are you?” Kiba groaned.
“I wanna see if he says anything different, like a hint!” Naruto snapped,
I know not of it’s true power, only what I have heard or glimpsed. It looks like an orb of black fire, and magic emanates from it almost in waves.
The fearsome creature is… unlike any I have seen before. A dragon, maybe, but worse, for its eyes bleed red, it’s fangs are sharp, and it has a taste for adventures.
“He isn’t,” Sakura groaned. “You just want to listen to him keep talking.”
“Man, I swear, if this guy had a voice it would be so sexy,” Naruto said, “Like, super duper sexy. Ok, alright, it doesn’t look like he knows anything else. Are we going in? I don’t know if the fight is going to start right away or not.”
“Yeah, we’re here aren’t we? Let’s go,” Shikamaru said, so Naruto picked the final option.
All right, follow me. Watch your step.
Sasuke led the party down the stairs. Judging from their conversation and past experience, they were not following him but had already loaded at the bottom. Coupled with the fact that all four had disappeared, only to reappear as they followed him out of the staircase and into the antechamber.
A huge room, far bigger than necessary, certainly implied that it could house the dragon Sasuke had mentioned. Some cracked and broken marble pillars lay scattered about as if it were once a grand hall, perhaps belonging to the Dwarves.
The party made a few noises of awe as they fanned out in the room, doing their usual plundering and marveling over the small details of the area. Sasuke’s chest could’ve puffed up with pride. He ambled in after them, making it to the center of the antechamber where he stopped, crossed his arms, and looked up at the giant double doors before them.
“Guess the dragon is in there,” Kiba said, once he’d finished scouring the area. He came to stand near Sasuke, bow at the ready. “There’s no interact button on our shadow elf, only on the door. Is everyone ready?”
They came over, arranging themselves, and while Naruto, as the healer, was still at the back of the party, he stood immediately in front of Sasuke, as if protecting him. Staff held aloft, with the beginnings of a shield spell glowing in his right hand.
As Sakura interacted with the door, Sasuke took two steps back.
This is as far as I go.
Naruto spun around, racing to be the first to interact with him.
“Noooo, husband come fight with us, let's kick some dragon butt!” Naruto whined, before selecting the only dialogue option: What? Why?
I can’t fight the creature, not as I am now. I’m not strong enough, and I don’t want to be a burden…
(You aren’t a burden!)
(What do you need?)
(Okay. Thanks for bringing us here.)
“What do you need, husband, tell us,” Naruto crooned. “A declaration of love? Some roses? One of the King’s mounts?”
“He needs some space, Naruto, you’re smothering him,” Kiba cackled.
It’s too much to ask.
“Like FUCK!” Naruto shouted. “Husband's going to join the party~”
I can fight, but first I need to… take. Only from one of you.
“Anything,” Naruto cooed.
(Offer FoxFaceNaruto to Sasuke.)
(Offer DoubleTroublesome to Sasuke.)
(Offer WoofBoy6-9 to Sasuke.)
(Offer PinkPrincessPunch to Sasuke.)
“Hey, wait a second,” Shikamaru interrupted, voice low with warning. “What’s he going to take? Sakura and Kiba have more HP than you, and we can’t survive a boss fight without a healer.”
“If I die, use a phoenix down,” Naruto suggested.
“We don’t have anymore, not after the stunt you pulled in Dungeon 27,” Sakura chastised. “Could you maybe keep a better count of our potions?”
“Okay, but still.” Sasuke waited patiently as the party spoke, wondering what would happen. Did the healer have enough HP to survive, or was he about to get himself killed? “He’s my husband and I want to help him.”
“He ain’t gonna take no for an answer, Shika,” Kiba said with a chuckle. “That’s why he was so quick to start the interaction, he knew something was going to happen.”
“Ugh, fine,” Shikamaru groaned. “Do what you want, then!”
“Yes!” Naruto crowed in delight. “Ok, husband, baby, whatever you need. I am the provider, I am your light, I am your life – whatever you need you can take. You-”
“How do you wax this poetic to an NPC and still fail your creative writing assignments?” Sakura groaned.
“Words are hard, Sakura, fuck you,” Naruto snapped. Then he pressed the button.
Sasuke really, really hoped he wasn’t about to kill the boy.
Another custom, two-character emote played. Naruto the character stepped closer to Sasuke, and Sasuke drew him flush with an arm around his waist. Naruto the player was cooing, zooming in Sasuke imagined, and watching every moment – especially right as Sasuke leaned forward and sunk sudden fangs into his character's neck.
“Oh, fuck,” Kiba breathed as Naruto made a squeak of surprise. The character lifted a hand as if to push Sasuke away, but Sasuke caught it, leaning into the blonde as he sucked.
“Naruto, your health!” Sakura shouted.
Sure enough, Naruto’s health bar was plummeting. Naruto swore a few times, and Sasuke could hear him frantically pushing a few buttons, but the players couldn’t use spells or potions during emotes.
Now, Sasuke didn’t have any tastebuds. Or, if he did, nothing in the game had any taste, but this? This was different. It was the same scene he’d done five times before, and the same scene he imagined he’d do hundreds or thousands of times in the future. It was the same scene various instances of himself could be enacting at that very moment, with countless other parties. And still.
“Oh, fuck,” Naruto groaned.
It invigorated him, pumped through him, and made him feel as if he actually was stealing Naruto’s lifeblood. He swore he could taste something, a mix between copper and hope, flooding his mouth, the scent flooding his nose, plunging him into a pool as he swayed – he didn’t actually sway, of course, held captive by the emote, but he wasn’t certain he’d be standing if he hadn’t been.
The emote slid them down to the ground together, Naruto's character still in Sasuke’s arms as they knelt, before Sasuke finally let go of Naruto’s neck. He couldn’t hasten this in any way, but for all that he knew he couldn’t, he still strained to do so. They were pulled apart by those invisible forces again, and Sasuke waited with bated breath as their emote ended – Naruto's character would either slump, dead, or climb back to his feet.
“Three,” Naruto breathed into his headset. “I have three health points left. God… that was hot. Can we do that again?”
The doors of the chamber slammed outward with an earth-shattering crash, and the party jumped back into action. “Maybe later you reprobate,” Shikamaru grumbled. “Heal up. Does that mean Sasuke’s in the party? I’m not showing any NPC additions.”
“No interact option either,” Kiba said, briefly jogging up to Sasuke and stepping away again. “Let’s get ready for the dragon.”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” Naruto grumbled, as his character pulled out a red vial and downed it. “I’m on it. C’mon vampire husband, let’s get to it.”
Sasuke didn’t move. The party readied themselves, Naruto even had enough time to down a second vial, and still Sasuke didn’t move.
His body thrummed with stolen energy, but what was worse? Sirens, screaming in his head. His vision was shrouded in red, and all he could see or hear were the words Attack, Attack, Attack.
The fearsome creature, the one guarding the treasure, was none other than himself. Some kind of dragon shifter with vampirism – an entirely contrived creature with the blunt moniker of ‘Vampiric Draco Shifter Jr.’, he had his one role in this dungeon – Guide the players to the chamber, drain their blood for strength and powers, transform into a dragon and soar ahead of them to guard the artifact Resulting in the death of either himself for the party. Of the five parties he’d had so far, only one had bested him in combat.
But he’d drained a healer – didn’t that mean he’d acquired healing magic? How useless. Still… Naruto had so selflessly given up his life force and Sasuke… didn’t want to fight them.
“Where is it? I don’t see it…” Kiba said, following Sakura tentatively into the room.
“Boss music is a go,” Naruto mused, letting Shikamaru go ahead. “C’mon husband, keep your eyes peeled.”
As Naruto slowly edged ahead of him, Sasuke fought harder. He was meant to stand between the players and the artifact. He was meant to be a dragon twice their size and give them the fight of their young lives, rend their flesh, and exhaust their mana.
But then Naruto took a few steps back toward him. “Guys, Sasuke isn’t moving. Do we all need to go into the room? Someone try to get the fire thingy.”
“I’m up,” Shikamaru said, shrouding himself to become less vulnerable and tentatively moving toward the orb. It sat there, innocently resting on a pedestal on the far side of the room - black flame roiling in a ball of glass.
Shikamaru’s dwindling distance from the orb felt like frigid waves lapping higher and higher up Sasuke’s back – his job was to intervene. His role, as mini-boss, was to protect the artifact. His fingers twitched and so did the fangs in his mouth – he’d stolen power from an adventurer and he needed to act. He needed to protect the orb.
But... why?
He'd have a new one, in the new instance. It wasn't the end of the world.
And how could he, when Naruto stood so close?
Trying to defend him – Him! – from the imminent dragon attack, from the impending mini-boss.
The voices of the players somehow managed to speak over the commands that cascaded across his vision, that sirened in his ears.
“Still not seeing anything,” Sakura said, creeping after Shikamaru.
“Then just grab the thing?” Kiba suggested. “Or maybe you need to swap it with something, like in those movies?”
“Not a bad idea,” Shikamaru said, pausing as he rifled through his inventory. “I’ve got a spare horseshow that might weigh the same, so let me just…”
Naruto stepped closer, before running in neat little circles around Sasuke. It was an inane picture, as he was still aiming forward, and Sasuke felt that an idiot like him would trip over his own feet if he tried this outside of the game.
The idea made him laugh. Quietly, as he truly had no voice they could hear, but laugh nonetheless. What a curious adventurer Naruto was. What a curious party he belonged to, he thought, as the red in his vision – which by all accounts should’ve been getting worse – softened.
He licked his lips, and tried three times, before he finally spoke.
It looks like…
It was dizzying.
It was freeing.
“Yeah, Sas? What’s up?” Naruto asked. Shikamaru had hesitated by the podium, waiting. It was an effort and a half, to talk when he wanted to scream, to be still when his body willed him to attack, but he powered through.
It looks like the dragon isn’t home.
Shikamaru snapped up the orb, then dropped the horseshoe. It missed the podium entirely, dropping to the floor. But it didn’t matter.
As the player claimed the orb, the dramatic music dwindled and an achievement noise sounded.
Orb of Amaterasu acquired!
“Oh?” Shikamaru sounded suspicious.
“It says quest completed in the log book?” Kiba said, his character dropping out of its battle stance.
“Oh, woohoo, we did it!” Naruto said. “And my precious vampire husband didn’t have to fight!”
“He nearly killed you,” Sakura deadpanned.
“He didn’t mean to. Also, he didn’t have a choice,” Naruto said haughtily. “And! And! I had, like, 3 hp left. Clearly, he stopped just shy of killing me on purpose. He loves me.”
The red was gone. The demands were gone. He’d finished his role. The players had finished the quest. They'd won, and he was finished.
“Anything else to say?” Kiba asked, walking up to him.
You’ve got the orb, take it and get out of here.
They were harsh words, the words of a downed dragon clinging to life as the adventurers stole his treasure. Sasuke was a bit too tired to fight it. It was his last bit of dialogue, did it really matter? Besides, there wasn’t anything beyond the words to indicate the context of the dialogue so, for all it was snappy, he couldn’t imagine that they could truly infer what was meant to have happened here.
“Ahh, the NPC is grumpy he can’t keep the orb to himself. What a wimp, all he had to do was come while the dragon was out,” Kiba snarked. “Well, this time I’m not going to look the horse's gift in the mouth – let’s get out of here.”
“Amen,” Shikamaru agreed, right behind Kiba as they headed back toward the stairs.
“C’mon Naruto,” Sakura said, taking off after them.
Sasuke didn’t move from the center of the room.
He couldn’t, all things considered, and he was tired.
“What about my husband?” Naruto asked.
“NPC’s can’t move between dungeons, and he didn’t even join our party,” Shikamaru replied, though the whole party stopped at the bottom of the steps, not forcing them back into the prior area.
“Well I gotta try,” Naruto said, “Hey, Sasuke, wanna come with us?”
Sasuke tried.
“The dialogue box popped up!” Sakura said.
“But it’s empty,” Shikamaru said.
“He’s thinking, give him a second,” Naruto said. “Yes or no is fine, hubs, you can do it.”
“Let me see if I can…” Kiba shifted, before pressing a button. A small horn noise sounded. “I opened the party for new members in the area, but that’s for players.”
I…
“You can do it!” Naruto crowed, then he danced about, running through all the dance emojis he could. Which, really, was distracting.
“How interesting…” Shikamaru mused. “Naruto, try to shake his hand.”
“On it! Here babe, take my hand and just don’t let go,” Naruto said, before his character extended its hand for the shake-hands emote.
I don’t know-
“Just try! Oh, what a precious baby…” Naruto cooed. “D’ya reckon Hinata will draw me some fanart of him?”
“She doesn’t take those kinds of commissions,” Sakura said.
Sasuke shut his mouth, shaking his head to himself. He couldn’t speak out of bounds, it was just too hard to say anything of substance. He didn’t know if he could leave Dungeon 29, and didn’t know what would happen to him if he did. But he did know that when he stayed he just kind of… stopped when the party left. That the next thing that would happen was he would load into the bar in Hollyrose in another instance as another party wandered in.
Could he try to leave? He’d have to move first.
He reached up. He tried to reach up. His fingers twitched. It was hard – he didn’t have any emote buttons. Shake hands, he told himself, asserting authority just like his commands did, trying to force himself through this. Naruto’s emote lapsed, but he patiently did it again.
Shake hands!
Finally, his arm moved. It almost gave him whiplash with how it suddenly slipped into the movement of the emote, but then he remembered Naruto’s instruction to hold on. After their linked hands raised and fell twice, they then tried to let go.
Sasuke held on. He held on through sheer force of will, he held on even though there weren’t animations for that. He held on despite the pervasive wrongness of persisting the action.
But he did hold on.
“Would you look at that…” Shikamaru mused. “Pull him over?”
“Alright, easy now. It’s okay Sasuke, I’m not gonna let the dragon hurt you,” Naruto cooed as his character moved around Sasuke and towards the stairs, slowly drawing Sasuke along.
Idiot, Sasuke thought with a soft smile. I am the dragon.
He was pulled along, his legs slowly getting the feel for moving without compulsion, just outside influence. Slowly, his steps grew more confident, and he was soon moving with internal influence. He held Naruto’s hand, too, with internal influence. It was ungainly, his arm crossing over his body to stay latched with Naruto’s, but he didn’t want to risk letting go.
They ascended the stairs back to the cave and this time Naruto’s character stayed with him, and Sasuke had to pull the shell of the blonde gently along. They emerged back in the original cave - To the right was the trek back to Hollyrose, and to the left was the portal to Dungeon 30.
“Do you think he’ll make it?” Naruto asked. His voice wavered as if Sasuke’s loss really would be terrible.
It was a sentiment he’d never experienced before – being wanted or needed. One way or the other, the adventurers had to progress. He truly hoped he would make it to Dungeon 30 with them. Talking was hard, but his prior words still felt fresh on his tongue.
I don’t know.
He pulled at Naruto’s hand, towing him toward the portal, but it was much harder now that the player was meant to be in control of the character. He could feel the exact moment, the sudden slack awarded him, as Naruto, the player moved Naruto, the character, in his direction.
“You guys,” Naruto warbled to his friends. “I love him so much. Such a strong husband.”
“Maybe your blood is too tasty, so he doesn’t want to lose you,” Kiba suggested.
“Maybe this is, like, a multi-dungeon character arc? Maybe he really wanted to fight the dragon, but it’s moved, and we won’t find it for another five dungeons?” Sakura suggested.
“Or maybe it’s just a bug,” Shikamaru said firmly. “But, bug or not, it doesn’t really matter if he doesn’t make it through. Unless you want to stay here, Naruto?”
“He doesn’t want to stay here. Look at him, he’s ready to go! He wants to join the party!” Naruto said. Sasuke wondered if this man showed all his teeth when he smiled. “Ya wanna try, Sasuke?”
Shikamaru was right. Sasuke’s own ideas were right – why not? What was the harm? He would be able to do it, or he wouldn’t. If it failed, he would just wake up like normal, in the bar again. But if he did make it through? A world of opportunities, of adventure, with a fun little group. And Naruto, the healer who didn’t know how to jump or to value his own life, who was a fan of the twerk dance and who showered him with words of praise.
Yes.