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Grief is a treacherous thing.
It misplaces everything, and everything gets dulled and amplified at the same time; it’s like a time bomb buried beneath the rib cage and it ticks and tocks about to explode. It is sadness and despair and hate all together and convoluted, reason leaves from the back door and trust, sometimes, gets shattered like a pink illusion.
People say that grief has different stages, but to Neopolitan it can be reduced to just two: her anger, which consumed all that was found in its path, thirsty to find a prey perfect to get her revenge from; and acceptance, when said revenge left nothing but a hollow shadow of herself, an empty husk with no purpose.
And grief actually never ceases. It is a feeling that keeps beating deep inside the bones, even when one finally makes peace with it. Neopolitan could feel it coursing right through her veins while she fell between the leaves, softly, the hazy smell of the tree and the darkness enveloping her warmly, hands gripping her trusted Hush and Roman’s hat firmly on top of her head.
Until suddenly there was no warmth anymore, and her petite heeled feet touched solid ground. Neo opened her eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the soft greenish-blue light that seemed to come from everywhere at once, specks of stardust floating in the air around her while her reflection stared back at her from the mirror-like floor. It was a barren space, and she didn’t really know which direction she should take now.
Just… Where the fuck am I?
“You, my dear, are in my workshop.” Neopolitan never turned around that fast before, Hush’s blade unsheathed and pointed towards the mechanical and feminine voice. And in front of her, what appeared to be a robotic blacksmith set their tools down, the fire of a forge shining behind their back and giving them an almost holy aura. “And I’ve been waiting for you since the moment you landed on the Ever After.”
Neo blinked again, her mismatched eyes reflecting confusion and awe as she lowered her parasol, blade sheathed once again. She took a tiny step forward, her gaze never leaving the Blacksmith as they walked around their work station, their arms firmly behind their back.
What is this thing?
“I am a blacksmith. Though you can call me The Tree, I suppose. ” Neo jumped in surprise at her inner question being answered without even a sign, the awe and the curiosity almost overpowering whatever apprehension was left in her.
How is this possible, how can it-
“You are in my domain, Neopolitan. I know and sense everything in here, including what’s hiding inside of you.” The Tree said, their calm and deep voice resonating around the vast space. With long calculated strides, they closed the distance, stopping right besides Neo. “Please, follow me.”
The Blacksmith started walking again, leaving behind their workshop, and Neo, after looking back one more time, walked briskly until reaching their side, her curious bicolor eyes fixed intently on the Tree’s side profile.
What… Should I do now? Neopolitan lowered her head, Hush hanging from her wrist while both her hands fiddled nervously, her right index and thumb pinching softly the smooth skin of the back of her other hand.
“Hm, that’s an interesting question.” The Tree said, their feet never stopping their way to uncertainty. Until they did and turned around to face Neo with those empty eyes that looked similar to Ci… Neo clenched a hand into a fist. “But the answer is… What do you want to do? Who do you want to be?”
A silent and huffed chuckle left Neo’s dysfunctional vocal cords, looking upwards, to the vast space that extended beyond what’s imaginably possible, and her lips pressed on a fine and tense line. She could feel her eyes burning, but there weren’t tears left to cry anymore.
You know… I’ve been battling with those questions my entire life. Who am I? What do I want to do? And all the answers I’ve always found have always been pretty fucked up, not gonna lie. It was thanks to Roman that I could cling to something, but he is not here anymore…
Neo’s petite hands rose towards her hat, taking it off and clinging to it, pressing it against her chest, as if that was enough to have her best friend and brother with her again, like an anchor and a guide, like he had always been.
What do I even have left? If not even killing Red was enough to stop this pain… Also that stupid cat only made it worse.
The Blacksmith stared at her, waiting patiently for Neo to finish her train of thoughts. “You are focusing on the now. You have to think of who you will become in the future.”
Suddenly, a bright greenish blue light surrounded the both of them, and a myriad of glass cabinets rose from the mirror-like floor, each one of them encasing a weapon inside. Neo’s eyes went wide with surprise, looking around.
“Think of these as the endless possibilities that now lie in front of you, Neopolitan. You have some time to think thoroughly, though, as whatever decision you make will be definitive.” And with that, they vanished in a soft wind of multicolor leaves.
Neo sighed quietly, her bicolor gaze drinking in the different weapons that rested trapped in their glass prisons, trying to feel inside and up to the tips of her two-tone hair the possibilities that the Blacksmith was talking about… But she could only feel that emptiness, like a hungry black hole devouring everything else. She held Roman’s hat tighter.
Her eyes fell on what looked like Little Red’s scythe, and a silent snort left her lips. She could become a huntress, she thought. Roman wouldn’t agree to that decision, but he for sure would appreciate the irony of it all. It was expected to also find that feisty blonde’s gauntlets beside her cat faunus girlfriend’s weapon, as well as the Schnee brat’s rapier… But that wasn’t what she wanted, not at all.
It was a surprise though to find Melodic Cudgel, resting inside its glass cage, and she stopped right in front of it, caressing the cabinet with trembling fingers. Grief tightened its grip around Neo’s heart, her recent farewell to Roman’s illusion stabbing her soul once again. She knew she had to move forward, that was the only reason she took the jump down the tree in the first place. So she closed her eyes and breathed out slowly, taking his hat up to her lips to leave a soft kiss on top of the black feather that adorned it before letting it fall to the ground.
I’m going to live my life the best way I can, Roman. I love you and you’ll always be a part of me, but I can’t keep letting this grief turn my feet into stone…
“Oh, but are you aware, Neopolitan, that your grief is deeper than the loss of a friend?” Neo’s eyes opened suddenly when the Blacksmith’s voice sounded right beside her, Melodic Cudgel turning into a pair of glass blades that she well knew could combine to form a bow. Midnight stared back at her from its cabinet, glowing in golden among all that soft blue, and the petite mute took a few shaking steps back, her heart suddenly hammering inside her chest with realization.
NO!
Neo screamed in her mind, dropping knees first on the floor, her gaze fixed on the dual blades, the moment Cinder let her fall to her expected death flashing once and again in her thoughts, like a broken record.
I don’t want anything to do with her! She betrayed me! She let me fall! She lied to me again and again and I hate her! She… She broke my heart… And I-
The illusionist’s mismatched eyes closed tightly, and against her own will, and even though she tried to prevent it, even if she thought she ran out of them a long time ago, scorching tears slid down her round face. It was like a dam just opened, and a kind of pain that was repressed since the very moment she landed on the Ever After was allowed to run free.
Neo buried her face in her arms, punching the glistening floor with her fist while her tiny body shook through her silent sobs, and for the first time in years, she desired she could emit any kind of sound because she just wanted to scream the pain away, the despair she felt when she realized Cinder wasn’t going to take her hand, that she didn’t care at all, that she wanted her dead.
A big heavy hand landed softly on the illusionist’s back, in an attempt of comfort that in any other situation would end with Hush’s blade piercing skin and bones. But Neo just let it happen, basking in the physical contact while her tears continued their way down her cheeks. Until she ended up laying there, on the mirror-like floor, Midnight’s golden reflection being all she could see. It was glowing in a light so Cinder that Neo felt her gut twist painfully, and with a trembling hand, she extended her arm in its direction.
I just wanted to do something to fill the empty hole Roman left behind. And I know I will never know for sure what happened to him, I wasn’t there to see it… But the plan that failed was hers, so it had to be her fault, right?
Her tears turned soft and still just as silent, remembering her fight with the maiden back in Mistral. She was possessed by a blind rage that knew nothing else but to land and take blows, even if it meant giving Lil’ Miss a show for free. But enraged as she was, Neo was not a fool, and at Cinder’s display of power she could only back off, the urge of preservation winning over her white fury.
She told me that it was Ruby’s fault that Roman was dead. And I believed her because, why wouldn’t I? It was easier to cling to my thirst for revenge than to accept the fact that I lost my best friend. So I manipulated her… And she manipulated me back.
Neo could feel the comforting press of the Blacksmith’s hand caressing her back, and her mismatched and red rimmed eyes closed, completely tired. A small smile appeared on her lips then.
But we bonded, somehow. Or so I thought… Between schemes she opened up to me, told me about her childhood, her experiences with the Madame of the Glass Unicorn, all the way in Atlas… She told me about the shock collar and showed me the scars it left around her neck. She told me how liberating it felt to kill the woman and her daughters. About how she killed her own mentor. And how she then fell prey to Salem and, ironically, ended in the same situation. Used, a mere tool that craved power and liberation.
“And how did that make you feel? What she told you.” The Tree asked. Neo’s right hand, extended towards Midnight, clenched in a tight fist.
I… I wanted to help her as much as I wanted my revenge. I wanted to bring light back to the molten gold of her remaining eye. I wanted to set her free. I wanted… to love her. And I wanted her to love me back…
Neopolitan’s cheeks painted a soft pink blush, the kind that comes hand in hand with a confession like that. She actually didn’t know how and when it happened, but one day she could feel a light weight taking form inside the left side of her rib cage, like a small flower bud that tried to blossom and feed from the little moments they shared, when even laughter could be heard from the lips of the Fall Maiden.
“You know, Neopolitan… That sounds like a fair purpose to me.” Her eyes widened and she turned around towards the now distant voice of the Blacksmith, their silhouette farther away from her. “You have so many possibilities that lay in front of you, you just have to… pick one.” The Tree opened their arms and Neo’s semblance acted on its own, the mirror-like floor painted with pink. Neo stood up in time to see her power materializing one figure after another, as if every little thought she had during her entire life got reflected in them.
To see Jimmy and Carmel Vanille appear in front of her, was jarring, to say the least. Her father’s arm held his wife’s shoulders and both looked at her with a soft and proud smile that was so foreign to her… She couldn’t remember, for the life of her, a single time her parents looked at her that way.
“You can be the perfect daughter.” They said at unison, their voices sending chills up Neo’s spine. “No more mismatched eyes, perfectly functional vocal cords instead…” Jimmy and Carmel took a step towards their daughter, arms extended in her direction, but the mute took a step backwards. “You can be the book example of a Vale’s high society member, dear Trivia.” At the mention of her forgotten name, Neopolitan’s hands clenched into fists once again, raising one of them to wipe the tears from her face.
I’d rather die before being any of that.
“Why not though? You have always wanted a voice. It’s all we ever needed.” A small Trivia illusion stepped from behind her parents, brown contacts on and a pleasant expression on her face. “Don’t you ever wonder what life would be without Neopolitan? Being just us, just Trivia, and mom, and dad. We didn’t need anything else. We could be a happy family!”
It took Neopolitan half a second to unsheathe Hush’s blade and pierce the still heart of Trivia’s illusion, which shattered in a gleam of pink crystals. Her breathing was labored, heavy; the shock from the interaction pumping adrenaline at high speed through her veins. Her… encounter with the cat put all those awful emotions on the front line once again, that’s the explanation she came up with, trying not to dwell too much in past traumas that were dealt with long ago.
Stop this… I don’t like it.
“Making important decisions is never a pleasure, Neo, you better remember that.” Roman’s voice took over the stage, his lanky figure leaning lazily over his cane while he looked at her with his signature smile. “But I think you were born to be the true ruler of the criminal underworld! You for sure can give Lil' Miss and her spiders a run for their money, if you wanted to.”
“Or better yet, you can become a Huntress and end her as part of an actual legal and rewarding job, how does that sound?” Ruby Rose materialized next to Roman, and Neo’s wide eyes blinked rapidly, a rumbling headache starting to form at the back of her head. Her semblance was slowly draining her Aura. “It’s the best way to atone for past sins, after all! I might even forgive you for forcing me to a supposed suicide.”
Neo took one trembling hand to her thick hair, gripping it between her fingers while Roman and Ruby’s illusions started an argument among each other, mismatched frantic eyes moving between the two while her breathing became faster and more erratic, about to start spiraling once again…
“A Huntress?! Don’t make me laugh, Red. What’s next? Will you ask her to become a part of your team? Make it Team RWBYN?!”
“Of course not, she can form her own team! Maybe with people with ice cream related names?”
STOP!
“Or you can come to me, little girl.” Neo’s shaking pupils landed on the next illusion, and she felt physically the way her blood ran cold when Salem’s red irises and black scleras fixed on her face. The image of the tall woman walked towards her, slowly, every step calculated in a way most frightening, like every little thing she did. “I can give you a power this buffoon right here wouldn’t even dare to imagine having. Power that not even Ozma could grant you.”
Salem’s illusion stopped right in front of Neo’s shivering form, her hand inches away from the mute’s face. “I know you won’t be a disappointment like Cinder.”
Cinder…
Neopolitan’s blurry eyes cleared up at the mention of the Fall Maiden’s name, and a bright pink glow gave way to Cinder’s silhouette, right at the back of the bunch, hidden behind Roman and Red. Neo’s breath got stuck in her throat.
A single golden eye looked at her with such tenderness, a soft smile painted in those plump lips Neo found herself dreaming about night and night again; her smooth black hair a little longer than she remembered and, instead of her left grimm arm, silky human skin that was waiting to be touched, a hand of long and slender fingers that she was desperate to hold, welcomed her wide and again tear filled stare.
The illusion never said a thing, only looked at her just the same as Cinder did during these moments her walls fell down. Moments Neo held close to her heart and, deep down, she knew they were as real as the budding feelings she started harboring for her along the way.
Never anything had been as clear to Neopolitan before, nothing as true as the knowledge of what should be her next step.
I know what I want to be, Blacksmith.
“I’m glad you made your choice.” The Tree materialized next to her in a flurry of multicolored leaves, and they put one of their big metallic hands on top of the illusionist’s head in a sincere and warm gesture of affection. Neo closed her eyes, accepting it, the headache fading away slowly. “Good luck, Neopolitan.”
Just as the Blacksmith removed their hand from the mute’s head, Neo took a step back, her gaze fixed on Cinder’s illusion while the others shattered in pink. She walked backwards, not taking her eyes off the face she was ready to see soon once again, just as if she was committing it to memory, determined to engraine in her brain every single one of her features.
When she finally turned around, she found the golden glowing Midnight staring back at her from its cabinet and, without hesitation, she took one of her petite hands towards the glass cage while the other one held Hush firmly.
Neopolitan closed her bicolor eyes for the last time in this wondrous realm of greenish blue and stardust and let herself be engulfed by the gold light that would bring her home.
I know who I want to be.
Grief is a treacherous thing.
And when the fault lies on one’s shoulders, it can also be the rawest of the tortures. Like a rain of knives, sharp and blazing, relentlessly cutting away skin and bones, all red in blood and searing pain. But it is welcomed, as it is the only way one can atone for past mistakes, even if that means having your insides twisted and torn apart.
To the Fall Maiden, grief was an obscene combination of guilt and regrets that left a most bitter taste coating her tongue; her usually light feet feeling as heavy as a Wyvern grimm. The guilt that came with the fact that her pain was produced by her own two hands, and the regrets of things she could have done, but never did. The regrets of letting her walls fall, of showing herself, of letting someone else in.
Cinder Fall had always been alone. She was used to it, it never bothered her in the slightest. She never had to care for anyone, but her own business. She basked on it, and tried to thrive by herself.
Cinder Fall was used to be alone. But she had never ever felt so lonely.
The morning light broke into her bedroom in the little house she was living at, right at the lowest levels of Mistral. The command was to lay low for a while, so she did what she was told. She had no energy left to do anything at all anymore, after all.
It’s been what? Three? Five months? Since Atlas fell… And since that very first day, once the adrenaline wore off, she just felt this consistent and insistent pain gripping her (she wasn’t sure anymore) inexisting heart. Cinder’s golden eye opened to the new day, blinking it slowly to try and focus on the dirty coloring of her room’s ceiling. A deep and tired sigh left her lips.
It was apathy. Apathy to the simple fact of being alive another meaningless day, once again. To be alive while N… Neopolitan wasn't. She really shouldn’t think about that as soon as she woke up, but no matter how many months went by, the pain didn’t dull, the memories didn’t fade, and Neopolitan’s panicked mismatched eyes kept being burnt in her retinas.
Cinder’s track of time was lost along the way, consumed by her inexplicable grief, and her days threaded the present to the tomorrow with the same strand of boring actions: wake up, make food, buy food, wait, sleep if she could. Three? Five months? Of complete radio silence. Three? Five months? Of being stuck in Mistral with enough quietness surrounding her that, in the past, she could have gone mad.
Cinder learnt to appreciate silence thanks to the illusionist. Being with Neopolitan was silent, but not uncomfortable, not at all awkward. It was peaceful, even, when there were no schemes to prepare and they could only enjoy a few minutes of calm and peace. It was not a lonely silence. Cinder wished she could relate to that now, looking up at the dirty ceiling of her room.
She had not received any instruction from Evernight, and honestly, she was glad. Her thrive for power and liberation was gone, she felt like a fallen leaf, dried up and ready to be blown away with the wind, to whatever direction it might take her. She wouldn’t mind it at all. Her stomach roared in hunger and she sighed again, turning around in bed, dulled golden eye falling on the little glass figurine that rested on top of her nightstand table and sparkled under the morning sun.
Neopolitan’s smile had been something truly beautiful, a toothy grin that appeared on rare occasions. The tiny mute was prone to sulking most of the time they were working together, or just because of Cinder’s own selfishness, for not giving her Ruby Rose as she wanted. But oh, if Neopolitan only knew, that Cinder’s only reason to stall was to keep her around longer.
She extended her human arm towards the glass statue, grabbing it with utmost care and bringing it closer to her, smiling softly. It was her best work yet, she almost could replicate Neopolitan’s bright grin to perfection, her two tone hair falling in waves down her shoulders and Torchwick’s bowler hat perched on top of her head. Her eyes were closed in an expression of true glee. Cinder’s smile turned sad in a second, her thumb caressing slowly the glass features, while a single bitter tear fell down her eye before closing it again with a frustrated huff.
She really didn’t get it. The reason for feeling like… this. This broken and unable to pick up her own pieces. Loss wasn’t foreign to Cinder. It’s the only thing she ever experienced in her life, actually. The loss of a mentor, the loss of her dignity, the loss of any ounce of self-worth. And it was hard just trying to get some of her fragments back and stitch them together to create a wall of pride to shield and protect her, to not experience the feeling again.
But why were her own decisions the ones taking down that prideful wall a brick at a time? Just for letting Neopolitan fall to her doom? She had it coming, after all! The little pain in the ass threatened her! They used each other and that was fine, they manipulated each other and it was nothing. But that threat crossed the line and triggered all her alarms… It was the right thing to do, because Neopolitan would have done the same thing if their roles were reversed, Cinder was certain.
The fact that her heart broke at the same time Neopolitan disappeared in that void was a fair price to pay. She just needed to mend the pieces and get back up again, but it was so, so hard. Stupid little adorable and quirky illusionist, Neopolitan was too charming for someone who wasn’t able to utter a single word; she was witty, she was funny and she was warm… A kind of warmth that had Cinder craving for more, but that was not enough to hold her hand and save her from her demise. God, Cinder hated her as much as she hated herself.
“You are the true bane of my existence, not Ruby Rose.” She muttered, clinging to the glass figurine, clenching her eye shut in a futile attempt to keep more of these embarrassing hot tears at bay.
Minutes went by for Cinder, silently crying under her sheets while the soft rays of sun kept on clinging to her like a reminder that a new and monotonous day was just starting. She didn’t feel like leaving the bed, though. But her stomach grumbled again, asking, demanding to be fed. So she sighed and, after wiping her tears with the back of her grimm hand, she put the glass figurine back on the nightstand and, finally, stood up from the bed.
Her feet, heavy with sleep and sorrow, took Cinder to the small kitchen of the tiny house she was renting for a green lien bill per month, a ridiculously cheap price but with it being built at the lowest and utmost peripheral area of Mistral, away from everything and everybody, a higher price would mean a landlord with their butt charred and perhaps a glass spear through their heart. It was the perfect place to stay hidden.
Cinder brewed some coffee and munched on an apple while she waited for some soup to reheat, too lazy to even bother to cook anything more complex. She liked cooking though, it was one of the few activities that were able to take her mind away from pink and brown eyes and the itch and pain she had been feeling in her grimm arm these past few weeks. So she waited, an oversized gray shirt covering her body until mid thigh, and her bed hair, a little longer than usual, completely disheveled.
Once her bowl of soup was ready, she took it with a cup of coffee to the small armchair, setting them on top of a wooden coffee table where the night before she left her scroll. As every morning, already part of her routine, she took the device and leaned it on her cup after taking a sip, opening her guide to learn Remnant Sign Language.
It’s been three? Five months? Since she started learning how to sign and she had made very fast progress. Sadly, she had no one to practice her conversation anymore, that being one of the heaviest regrets polluting her chest; the fact that she took Neopolitan’s ability to communicate for granted, the fact that she never made an effort to show how much she actually cared by learning a language the mute was more comfortable with. But that’s the thing with walls and pride and denial, that perhaps when something valuable breaks, it is too late and it can’t be fixed anymore.
She was fast and fluent with her hands, her fingers, both human and grimm, being able to pick up words and sentences. Cinder could even sign with a single hand, and she was adamant on learning to do it only with her human limb; after all, if she ever needed to sign in public, showing off a grimm arm wouldn’t be exactly something inconspicuous for someone that wanted to go unnoticed.
A few hours went by, the morning already consumed in its bright entirety. It was time for her daily run towards the nearest market to get more food, water and supplies. She was running low on glass powder and her figurines needed the raw material, after all. So she left her cup and bowl in the sink to clean later and entered the bathroom to take a quick shower.
Like really, really quick; Cinder didn’t like to spend a lot of time under the water, for some stupid reason it was the moment her mind decided to dwell deeper than ever in what happened the day she destroyed Ruby Rose’s masterplan, yet failed to get the Winter Maiden’s power; yet failed to leave that place, creation of the spirit Ambrosius within the staff, with her heart intact. And it was infuriating, to say the least, because if Cinder especially enjoyed something, it was a long and scorching hot bath.
She hoped the shower could take her sorrows down the drain, she hoped that the water could clean her body and soul of that grief that was stuck to her very bones; but as she stepped out and dried herself up with a towel, another sigh escaped her lips at the futility of her own thoughts.
Cinder donned a very simple mistrali robe, long enough to cover her whole grimm arm, which hand she still covered with bandages just in case. Her still wet hair was hidden by an ample hood that maintained half of her face in the shadows. When trying to stay undercover, it was better to be safe than sorry.
The market was a considerable distance away from her rented house, having to walk through a dense forest and even cross over a bridge on top of a small river. The scenery was beautiful, but Cinder’s eye was already used to it. She was sure Neopolitan would enjoy it, though. The forest was usually filled with creatures of grimm, and she was sure as well that Neopolitan would enjoy that even more.
But the air was clean and refreshing, and walking did wonders to the Fall Maiden’s leg muscles, cramped up after a whole morning of doing nothing but studying sign language. She would never admit it, but this daily stroll towards the market was something she looked forward to everyday. The fact that in her mind she could picture the illusionist right beside her, gesturing big and certain with her tiny hands while they discussed the dinner of that night, had nothing to do with that, of course.
Cinder grunted, frustrated when her mind drifted again towards her mute ex-almost-partner. She was being delusional beyond words, and even if the sorrow and pain seemed to be unavoidable, the little pride she had left screamed at her, commanding the maiden to get some dignity back. After all, nothing ever happened between the two, just some budding feelings growing inside Cinder’s rib cage (completely unauthorized, mind you) among starry mismatched eyes which looked at her with complicity and toothy grins that rendered her speechless and unable to look away until she was caught staring.
The possibility of Neopolitan reciprocating these feelings was something Cinder wouldn’t even let herself think about, not even for half a second, as that thought would only torture her with even more agony. She was fine as she was, getting used to a broken heart and trying to live with that, even if painful, wasn’t that hard after three? Five months? Letting her thoughts wander in that direction would only add insult to injury and every little progress she had made would shatter like the glass she liked to play with, like every single one of Neopolitan’s illusions.
Neopolitan was dead, for fucks sake. She killed her, she let her fall. It was the weight of her blood on her hands, so she should just accept it and keep going with her life. Cinder huffed once again, shaking her head to keep these thoughts at bay just as she finally entered the market, almost an hour after she left the house.
The market was small, being at the lowest in Mistral, but it still had everything she needed, even if the quality wasn’t the best. She quickly purchased some meat, vegetables and water, all put together in a small straw basket and, as she held it with her grimm arm, she felt a sudden pain in the joint of her shoulder that took her breath away for a second, eye opening wide.
It was like an electric current traveled from her arm towards her back and focused right in the middle, threatening to snap her body in half. It only lasted for an instant, but it was enough to leave her breathless and, suddenly, very, very tired. She decided there and then to make this market trip a short one, eager to be back at the house.
Cinder stopped by the stall of a herbalist, purchasing pain medicine and tea that could help her recover when the grimm arm flared up; it was being more and more painful and frequent as of late, and it was a worry engrained in her brain, like the paranoia and disdain for the maker of such foul limb. Perhaps it was Salem’s way to get rid of her, all because of her incompetence. Or perhaps it was her way to pull Cinder away from the sticky grief that clung to her. Or perhaps it was something completely different and Salem just didn’t give a damn.
Still, she couldn’t leave the market without purchasing first some fine glass and obsidian powder, at least enough to last for a week of creating and destroying her figurines until she was satisfied with the result. She wanted to forge to existence every one of Neopolitan’s expressions while she still remembered them, as she, deep down, didn’t want to forget the one thing that dusted off her blackened heart.
Once everything was packed in the basket, Cinder held it with her human hand this time and started her way towards the house once again. It was a pity, she always finished her market runs with some pastry from one of the bakery stalls, not that she would ever admit to anyone the fact that she was cursed with a sweet tooth. Only Neopolitan knew, and she, well… She took that secret to the void.
The stroll back home wasn’t as pleasant, and her thoughts weren’t allowed to dip back into that topic, as the pain kept appearing from her shoulder down her back. It was starting to get really concerning, so she decided to throw being undercover through the window and use her maiden powers to speed up in the air in between the trees, but still careful to not set any of them on fire.
When she reached the house, a few minutes later, the first thing Cinder did was to take the pain medicine, hoping it would take effect soon enough. She could feel perspiration forming on her forehead, and her breathing was heavy and inconsistent. She placed her purchases on top of the kitchen table and left for the bathroom once again.
There, she undressed the upper half of her body, taking off the hood and the robe and letting them pool down her waist. Her grimm arm was twitching, almost imperceptible, but she could feel it. The bone-like structure was throbbing, as if it was a beating heart pumping blood towards every inch of a body. Dread settled in her stomach.
So Cinder turned around, her back facing the small mirror of the bathroom and the worst possible outcome of the situation revealed itself in front of her eyes; the grimm was spreading down her back, veins of black obscuring her pale and scarred skin, like the claw of a beast ready to cut her in half and devour her whole.
An ironic smile painted on her lips, and a bitter laugh left her throat. What a fitting end for a monster like her, so much for craving power that power craved her back; so much for craving freedom that it would come to her in the form of the mindless creature she was destined to transform into. Salem forgot to tell her this little detail when she gave her the new arm, or perhaps it was her intention all along. After all, a puppeteer is the master pulling the strings and Cinder was nothing but a doll acting on command, no matter the consequences.
She was tired, but at this point, it was too late anyway, right? It’s not like she had any reason left to fight this hopeless fate. No friends, no family, no one to fight for. She was alone, after all. Alone like always, but never as lonely.
She just needed to wait for her doom patiently and with open arms. Cinder looked up, golden eye burning with tears of grief, fear and anger, all convoluted and mixed together, so fiery red and bright white that she couldn’t separate a feeling from another anymore.
“I guess we will meet each other sooner than expected, Neo,” her ironic smile turned hopeful, her voice breaking at the end of her last words. “I just wonder if you will be able to recognize me in the thing I’ll become.”
Grief is a treacherous thing.
And when the grief for past losses, guilt and regrets mingles with the grief for one’s own doomed fate, the result of the equation can be extremely overwhelming. Weak minds would shatter instantly, being reduced to a bundle of pain and despair asking to meet their end as soon as possible, just for the torment to fade away into the oblivion of death.
But Cinder Fall’s mind was not weak.
Afternoon rolled after the discovery of her slowly rotting body, and night took away any light in favor of the darkness that was so appreciated by the maiden. She prepared dinner, some grilled meat with rice and steamed veggies, making enough of it to have leftovers to eat the next day as well. And when she finished cleaning up the kitchen, she took her glass powder supplies and left the house.
If she was going to just sit and wait to die or to irremediably lose her own self-perception as the grimm spreaded through her body, Salem be damned if she wasn’t going to create every single Neopolitan figurine she could. Maybe that way, when the time finally comes and her own thoughts start to blur, one look at the face she craved to stare at so badly would give her back some clarity.
So Cinder went to the back of the house, to the little spot where she sat every other night to turn the glass dust into her own version of art, a small chair and a bucket of fresh water waiting for her. The grass around the area was scorched and dead because of the extreme heat her active semblance produced.
She wore light clothes, just some shorts and a black tank top, because even if she was more resistant than regular people to the heat, sweating way too much on one’s clothes was never a pleasant experience. She tied her short mane to keep her rebel strands of hair from blocking her eye and, after finally taking a seat, she took one glass powder packet in her human hand and started infusing it with her semblance.
This was the most tedious step, as the temperature needed to reach high degrees to actually melt the powder and make it into a malleable paste, but to look at the way it happened, how the glass started to turn into a fiery and bright orange little by little, was mesmerizing.
Cinder remembered the first glass figurine she made for Neo, how her clever eyes widened in recognition before filling with tears when she realized she was presented with a small replica of Torchwick’s bowler hat. That little stunt granted her a hug so tight and warm that the blush that rose up the maiden’s neck to the tip of her ears was hotter than her own hands while in the process of melting the glass.
When it was at the right temperature, Cinder closed her eye. Her ability to manipulate glass was the key to this hobby of hers, but her maiden’s powers just elevated it even more. And just like every time she made a weapon from scratch, with nothing more than her imagination, she pictured the exact expression she just remembered; big and expressive bicolor eyes looking at her filled with gratitude and tenderness, a small bowler hat on her hands and a million lien smile dancing on her lips.
She could feel the glass morphing on her hand, turning and changing shape until it became the final product. Cinder opened her eye again, taking the burning glass closer to her face in search of any fault in detail, anything wrong with her design. Satisfied with the result, she started sucking away the heat from the glass figurine, gradually and gently, as it prevented it from cracking.
She was going to put it aside on the ledge of the window at her back to let it cool completely on its own during the night, but a sudden blast of silver light at the entrance of the house shattered the dark of night and all her alarms blasted off inside her head. She didn’t even realize how the newly made figurine just turned into an incandescent blade.
“What’s going on?” Cinder whispered to herself, frantic stare looking around while her mind was reeling, memories of her left eye and her missing limb disintegrating into ashes fresh in her mind, and Ruby Rose’s silver irises shining menacingly every time they locked gazes making her growl in agony. “It can’t be, she’s dead!”
Cinder almost roared, her sense of self-preservation and her will to fight coming back full force out of habit, even if hours before she had already given up and accepted her fatal destiny; so with her glass blade in hand, she ran towards the glow, the fire of the maiden’s powers already setting her eye ablaze. But the heat and the fury stopped suddenly when she was met instead with two confused mismatched eyes, soft pink and brown that brightened up when they found Cinder’s molten gold.
Neo was right in front of her, wearing the exact same clothes she had on the day she vanished into that void, but now a white cape fell down her back and Roman Torchwick’s bowler hat wasn’t on top of her head anymore; instead, the cape was secured to one of the straps holding her white corset on place by a little golden hat shaped pin. She held Hush in one hand and her two tone hair fell in waves down her back and shoulders and she was just there, shining under the light of the broken moon.
Cinder’s golden eye filled with tears and the pain and grief returned tenfold. Because Neopolitan was right there in front of her, but that was impossible. Because Neopolitan was dead. And this had to be a hallucination of some sort. A silver light? Hallucinations? It could only have an explanation.
“EMERALD!” Cinder roared the name of her previous disciple, looking around desperately to try and find the source of the problem. “STOP PLAYING WITH ME, EMERALD, AND FACE ME DIRECTLY!”
Silence was the forest’s only answer, and Neopolitan’s gaze turned from relieved to confused once again. The tiny illusionist took a step towards her and the maiden didn’t hesitate to raise her blade.
“Don’t take another step. Do you think you can leave with these hideous children and then come back to just pull this stunt, Emerald?” A new and scorching tear ran down Cinder’s face, one that brought shame as her vulnerability was out for the younger girl to see. “If you want to talk, if you want to fight, just show yourself. Even if the only way you can ever hurt me is by showing me Neo.” She grunted through pressed teeth, blade still held up and shaking.
Neopolitan’s eyes softened again, a small smile painted on her lips and, shyly, she tucked one pink strand of hair behind her ear. It would be endearing to Cinder if her feelings weren’t being played by Emerald. So, with an angry scream, she thrusted her glass blade towards the illusionist who, caught by surprise, was able to block her with Hush at the very last instant.
Blinded by rage and grief and a devastating sadness, Cinder kept slashing and thrusting her sword towards Neopolitan, trying to cut the illusion down and finally reveal Emerald, wherever she was hiding from. The mute did everything to counter and block every attack, her big eyes frantic and worried. She never attacked, not even once, and that only pissed Cinder off even more, so she just decided to blast the hallucination away with a fireball, right from her grimm hand and right into Neopolitan’s stomach.
It all caught Neo unguarded. Right after she parted ways with the Blacksmith, she was transported right into the middle of… nowhere, actually. Mistral, she guessed as much. It wasn’t until Cinder showed herself that she realized why she was there in the first place. And Neo was not dumb, she could perfectly understand why Cinder would think she was being played, she would have reacted the exact same way.
At times like this, having a voice must be the most useful thing, but since she couldn’t actually do anything to reassure the other woman, the petite illusionist could only block and parry every single hit. Until she saw the grimm arm approaching, black claw blazing up with fire and she took a very risky decision.
She let it hit her, confident that her now stronger aura could protect her. It still did nothing to diminish the pain of such a blow, her tiny body flying backwards towards the forest until she hit the trunk of a tree, her aura shattering in pink but still with enough remaining to keep her barely conscious, at least for a while.
Cinder’s breath got stuck in her throat once again. The illusion didn’t shatter, and the aura shone in pink sparkles all over the small girl’s body, so it had to be… Clinging to blind desperation and ravenous hope, Cinder dropped her weapon and ran towards the forest, towards where some faint traces of smoke could be seen.
“Neo!” She screamed, golden eye burning with new unshed tears of panic and terror. She kneeled next to the illusionist, who looked up at her through her eyelashes, barely awake. The tears fell down her cheek, taking the petite body of the girl between her arms to help her support herself. “I’m so, so sorry, Neo… I- I thought that you… A-And that Emerald… And I let you fall and I’ve never regret-”
Cinder’s ramble was cut short when Neo cupped the scarred side of her face with a gentle and small hand just to bring her face close and press their lips together in a kiss so soft and tender that it rendered the Fall Maiden speechless. Cinder’s eye widened, startled, her heart hammering in her chest, but her gaze slowly softened before it got hidden behind the weight of her eyelid, holding Neo’s body against her own while her lips caressed back, melting together in the purest relief she had ever experienced in her entire life.
It was a salty first kiss because of the tears, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. When Neo pulled back seconds later, Cinder opened her eye once again, the angry blush spreading over the mute’s face mirroring her own and, just like that, Neopolitan fainted, her aura giving away after the fireball hit.
Cinder quickly checked Neo’s pulse before even being given the chance to spiral in panic once again, relief spreading one more time through her body when she finally realized that she just passed out as her aura depleted. With every ounce of care she could muster, Cinder took the tiny illusionist’s body and carried her in her arms, going back home.
The ruined glass figurine was long forgotten, after all, she didn’t really need them anymore. With Neopolitan pressed gently against her body and her sleeping face resting against her shoulder, Cinder was sure that she would never forget what a first love looked like.
Grief is a treacherous thing.
But when it fades away it leaves the door open for a myriad of wonderful emotions, a kaleidoscope of colors and lights that brightens everything it touches. It makes way for infinite possibilities, each more enticing than the other; it lets feelings like happiness and contentment settle in the soul and spread to the tip of the toes.
Those emotions, so foreign to Cinder Fall, were all she could feel when she opened her eye the next morning and her golden iris fell on Neopolitan’s sleeping face. Her heart contracted in a way so deliciously painful that she could only let the corners of her mouth rise like they were begging her; the urge to smile, the need to kiss that tiny nose and those plump lips in front of her were eating her inside.
She was just so, so happy and relieved. She put her human hand on Neo’s face, caressing her cheekbone with her thumb in a tender gesture, and when the illusionist let out a satisfied sigh and scooted closer to her, she felt the way a million of non-existent butterflies took flight in her stomach.
Cinder leaned over the sleeping girl, placing a very soft kiss on her forehead, and then left the bed. She walked towards the kitchen in silence to not wake her up, wanting Neo to rest as much as possible. Once in the kitchen, she brewed some coffee and prepared something to eat: some stir-fried veggies and eggs with some toasted bread. It was in the middle of plating it up that she felt the way two tiny arms circled her waist, Neopolitan’s body pressing against her back.
The pressure against her grimm infested back made her wince lightly, though the motion could be hidden under the pretense of being surprised by the sudden back hug. Still, she melted back against that small and solid body, looking behind to see those bicolor eyes already staring at her. Nervousness settled on her stomach, after so many delusions of having Neo back with her, now that it somehow was a reality, Cinder didn’t really know how to act, the vivid memory of the kiss they shared the night before making her blush furiously even before saying the first word.
“Hey, good morning… D-Did you rest well?” She cursed herself internally when she listened to her own stutter, looking away from Neo to finish plating the food. “I made breakfast, I’m sure you are hungry.”
Neo let go of Cinder’s body, taking a step next to her and reaching for her scroll to convey her thoughts through her voice app. Realizing her intentions, the Fall Maiden was fast to set the now empty pan in the sink and she placed her hands over Neo’s, stopping her motions. When the mute looked up at her with curiosity in her eyes, Cinder cleared her throat and let go of Neo’s hands, so she could actually sign a reply to the illusionist.
“You don’t need the voice app anymore, you can sign. I’ll understand.” The way Neopolitan’s eyes widened was so precious that Cinder decided there and then that she was going to make a glass figurine out of it, deep blush setting on these full cheeks and a mix of adoration and gratitude swimming in her mismatched irises.
“Did you learn to sign? But when? How?!” Neo signed back, fast, excited as she was. Cinder laughed softly while she answered.
“It’s been three? Five months? I don’t know… I lost track of time since that day. But I’m not too good, so please, sign a little slower so I can understand properly.” The mute nodded enthusiastically, even clapping her hands in pure delight.
“This is amazing! Now I can finally dump that dumb ass robotic voice, it was annoying as hell…” Neopolitan huffed and Cinder laughed again, this time a little louder. The smaller girl looked at her taller counterpart, eyes softening. “Why did you learn it during this time?”
Cinder looked at her own hands, the human one shaking slightly and the one made of grimm sending new uncomfortable currents of pain towards her back. She dropped the black arm down, signing with only her human hand, her golden gaze burning into the one of the illusionist. It was time to let her soul bare in front of Neopolitan, it was time to present all her regrets and sorrows at her feet, for the shorter woman to do whatever she pleased with her. It was time to confess the cravings of her heart and how much she yearned for her, even before she disappeared.
“Because of you.” Neo’s eyes opened wide once again, looking intently at the Fall Maiden. “Because I took you for granted, because I used you, because I betrayed you… I let you fall in the void and I thought you were dead and I’ve never experienced such grief before…” Cinder pressed her lips together, blinking away the hot tears that threatened to pool in her eye. “I’ve never regretted anything of what I’ve done before, but just as you vanished I was already in pain. I learned it because I love you.” She dropped her human hand as well, letting it hang limp next to her body, but her stare didn’t waver even when the tears finally ran freely down her cheek. “I love you, Neo.” Cinder said aloud, with her shaky voice, but with a firm conviction in her words.
Neopolitan just stared back at Cinder, her wide brown and pink eyes focused solely on the liquid gold that observed her with trepidation and vulnerability. Even if she could speak, she was sure that there is no way possible that she could utter a single word, the maiden had stolen all of them, as if stealing her heart long ago wasn’t enough. Greedy, greedy Cinder, Neopolitan thought…
So she let out a sigh, deep and charged with emotion, and a determined glint took over her pupils the moment she raised her arms to circle the maiden’s neck with them so she could pull her down to join their lips together once more. And while the kiss they shared the night before was blurred by Neo’s weakened state after receiving the impact of the fireball, this time each caress and touch was more deliberate and intense. Neopolitan got on her tippy toes to claim Cinder’s mouth more comfortably, molding her lips with her own in a deeper kiss that got Cinder’s mind reeling.
The maiden’s arms circled the slim body of the illusionist, pulling her closer while the shorter girl tilted her head slightly, parting her lips and allowing her playful tongue to push into Cinder’s mouth. When both tongues collided in a dirty and wet dance, the taller woman let out a raspy gasp that died in her throat, feeling the way the heat of her blush traveled from her cheeks down her neck and right into the hollow of her stomach. The kiss turned deeper, more intense and almost desperate, both women trying so hard to convey all the pent up emotions they had bottled up for so long.
One of Neopolitan’s hands buried itself between the soft strands of Cinder’s mane, letting her short fingernails scratch her scalp. The gesture sent chills down Cinder’s spine, her hands tightening her hold around the mute’s waist even more, pressing their bodies together until every angle and curve of their figures melted into one another. At this point, the maiden’s brain was so hazy that she didn’t know where her body ended and Neo’s started, her heart hammering in her eardrums in a wild rhythm.
There was passion and fire and not even her semblance made Cinder feel this hot before, to the point that she was completely sure that she was about to reach her melting point. But then Neo’s teeth pressed on her lower lip, pulling it playfully and stopping the kiss and she felt on the verge of combusting. Neo’s pupils were dilated, almost entirely black without a trace of the characteristic heterochromia, her cheeks were flushed and her breathing completely erratic, a mirror image of herself, the maiden was sure of that.
Cinder had never experienced sexual arousal before, but she finally understood why people started wars because of matters of the heart if this was also one of the components in the equation; she felt she could lose her mind and she wouldn’t care at all. Neo looked at her once again, letting her own tongue to wet her lips, as if she was trying to prolong Cinder’s taste on it, and when the maiden’s eye followed the motion hungrily, a new delighted and sly smile appeared on her face.
Cinder cleared her throat a second time, letting her gaze fall back towards the two forgotten plates of food, and signaled them with a nod of her head, refusing to let go of her hold on Neo’s body. “S-Shall we eat?”
Neo only looked up at her, her smile turning softer while she drank in the blush spreading all over Cinder’s visible skin, even over the scars that covered her beautiful features. The bashful expression on her face that was all that her hungry eye wasn’t, and the slight tremble of her voice. Oh, how much Neo adored her…
The illusionist nodded her head, and before finally releasing her hold on the maiden’s neck, she got on her tippy toes once again to just softly press their lips together one last time, being the ghost of a caress instead of a kiss. She took a step backwards then, letting Cinder move freely to grab the plates and the coffee, hopefully not too cold after being unattended for what seemed like an eternity and, at the same time, an instant. That was what kissing Cinder Fall did to her, it altered space and time and the only thing that mattered was that flame of a woman melting against her body.
She couldn’t wait to reunite with her lips again and make up for all the lost time, but Neo knew she needed to do something else first… To fulfill her new purpose. But every girl has a priority, so when Cinder finally placed the food on the table, Neo grabbed her hand, trying to get her attention.
“I love you too.” She signed with a smile, and a new shade of blush took over Cinder’s face, her eye softening and brightening at the same time with relief and affection. “Which I hope is obvious after, well… Kissing you.” Her blush mirrored the one of the maiden, looking away for just one second before falling again into the golden depths of her stare. “I don’t remember how or when I fell in love with you, but I did… Though we still have things to wor-”
Neopolitan never finished her sentence, her hands moving fast towards Cinder when the maiden suddenly let out an animalistic and pained scream, face turning into a grimace of terror and agony and her legs giving out. She grabbed her body before the taller woman hit the floor, and her panicked mismatched eyes searched all over her for the cause of the outburst. It was then when she noticed a wildly shaking human hand grabbing the grimm arm desperately, trying to stop the ache.
Neo typed something in her scroll, fingers fast and agile even if she was trembling and on edge. She let the voice app speak for her one last time, her tiny hands cupping Cinder’s face so she could be sure that the maiden was looking at her, and at her only, trying to give her at least some form of comfort.
“You are going to be okay, Cinder.” She nodded her head while the robotic voice gave shape to her most urgent thoughts. Cinder just shook her head, smiling sadly, and dread pooled ominously in Neopolitan’s stomach. “I promise you are going to be okay.”
Neo let Cinder’s head rest on top of her thighs, while the burst of pain faded away as quickly as it arrived, leaving the maiden with depleted energy. She sighed softly, closing her eye while she shook her head one more time, trying to catch her breath.
“It’s my grimm arm,” she said, turning around slowly to put her back facing Neo, who could see the way the black veins traveled from Cinder’s shoulder towards her back as much as the taller girl’s tank top allowed her. “It is spreading and each passing day it is getting worse.” Cinder turned around again to look at Neo, cupping one of her round cheeks with her human hand in a caress full of affection. “I don’t even know how much I have left, but I’m just so glad I could see you again.”
“Don’t say that! ” Neo signed frantically, feeling the way her eyes filled with tears. “ You are not going to die. And I’ll tell you why once you recover and we eat that delicious looking breakfast you made. ”
The small smile that painted over Cinder’s face was soft and tender, as if she was battling a war against any trace of hope that Neo’s words ignited in her chest since, after all, the illusionist came back from the dead. But the grimm were Salem’s weapons and Salem, if anything, was the most lethal being on Remnant…
“Right… Let’s just eat, I’m sorry you had to see that.” Cinder whispered, using all her remaining strength to get herself together and stand up again, helped by Neo. Back in the past, any attempt of the mute to offer her help or support like that would be received poorly by the maiden, but at that point, almost defenseless and craving proximity, she couldn’t help but cling to her.
Neo shook her head, taking a seat next to Cinder to finally start eating the already cold breakfast. A gloomy energy loomed above their heads, each of them lost in their own thoughts, but still joined by the hold of their fingers under the table, Cinder’s human hand looking for Neopolitan’s, desperate for any kind of contact, as if she needed it to be completely sure that the girl was real and was there, with her, no matter how much time she had left.
As soon as the food disappeared from their plates, Neo stood up, pulling Cinder to her feet so she could guide her to the bedroom. There, she gestured for the maiden to sit down on the bed and then let out a long sigh, crossing her arms over her chest while one of her hands rubbed softly at her own chin, deep in thought because, after all… How can someone even explain what the Ever After is?
“Okay, you might not believe any of what I’m going to tell you, but here goes nothing.” Neo signed, offering a little smile towards the maiden, who just looked at her with a tired but curious golden eye. “When you let me fall and I disappeared… I actually ended up in some weird ass place called the Ever After. It might sound familiar, you know The Girl who Fell Through the World, right?”
“... what?” Cinder’s eye was wide, disbelief painted all over her face, and Neo couldn’t hold a silent giggle, nodding her head.
“I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it is true. It is all true. A lot of stuff happened there, my semblance evolved and I even got Little Red to unalive herself.” Neo signed and, at that, Cinder choked.
“Sorry, can you sign that again? I think I didn’t quite catch that one…”
“I mentally tortured Little Red until she reached her breaking point and unalived herself.” Neo shrugged, but a little frown appeared between her brows. “Which was actually one of my finest works, not gonna lie… Too bad that right after she did, I found out that my whole personality was about killing her, it seems, and that her death meant that I was left with no purpose. Then cue a creepy and obnoxious cat and Ruby coming back, and here you have the end result.” She pointed at herself with a sheepish smile, and Cinder could only blink, utterly confused. “Look, I know it is too much to process, but I can prove it!”
And just as she signed that, Neo activated her semblance, two illusions painting themselves right besides her; the Blacksmith and the Curious Cat, and Neo right in the middle with a smug expression on her face when Cinder looked at her with pure awe reflected in her pupil.
“Woah, Neo… It really evolved, this is amazing!” Cinder stood up from the bed, coming closer to the mute and her illusions, looking up at the massive body of the Blacksmith.
“I know, right?” Neo smiled widely and proudly, grabbing Cinder’s human hand so she could intertwine their fingers together while pointing down towards the cat with her free hand. “This is the bitch ass cat, I’ll go deeper into detail later because there are things more important I want to tell you,” and she kicked the illusion of the cat, which shattered in hundreds of pink crystals, “but this one right here is the most important… They are the Tree in the fairy tale. They fix people without a purpose and set them on a new path,” the way Neo looked at the illusion was so soft and full of affection that Cinder could only tighten her hold on Neo’s hand, offering her a small smile, “it is a process called Ascension.”
“But wait, what do you mean Ruby Rose killed herself and then she came back?” Cinder asked suddenly, too astounded by Neopolitan’s story that she started collecting the pieces of information little by little. “So she… ascended, like you said?” Neo nodded and Cinder could only frown. “So if you are back… It means she is back too?” Neo nodded again, slower, and let out a sigh when she felt how Cinder’s hold on her hand tightened a little more in what could only be described as frustration and fear.
“The whole team, actually. And the blond useless guy.” Neo snapped her fingers and the Blacksmith illusion shattered as well, cupping Cinder’s cheek with her free hand, just to make Cinder meet her stare, open, sincere and full of tenderness. “But they don’t matter, not anymore. Killing her didn’t bring me any satisfaction, only made me feel more hollow. I only had my grief and it was consuming me; I lost Roman and… I thought I lost you too. I learned that revenge isn’t worth it,” Neo took Cinder’s human hand to her lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles that sent Cinder’s face into a furious blush, “I found a new purpose. And it is to love you and to set you free.”
Cinder’s lonely right eye filled with tears, drowning in the sweetness of Neo’s bicolor stare, but she ended up looking away; upper teeth digging into soft plump lower lip in a thoughtful gesture that indicated hesitation and doubt.
“I don’t know if I can let my hate and my fear go, Neo,” Cinder said in a low, sad voice, shoulders falling in defeat, “I don’t even know how much time left I have before I turn completely into grimm, or before Salem decides it is a good time to call for me again… I’m just a slave, a puppet, I’ve always been.” Neo stomped on the floor with her right feet in her own peculiar way of non-verbal disagreement.
“Letting the hate go is a process, and a long one at that. But it can be done. Please, let me walk that path with you…” Despair shone in Neo’s eyes, and so much truthfulness and care that Cinder was tempted to just accept whatever the illusionist told her, her soul alight with a small and timid ray of hope that she was afraid of embracing. “The grimm in you is the only thing that ties you to Salem, right? Your loyalties have always lied on yourself, after all. I can take care of that.” Cinder’s heart skipped a beat, and Neo’s stare got an even more determined glint to it.
“Wait, what? What do you mean?” Cinder’s voice wavered at the end of her words, her human arm circling around Neo’s waist to pull her closer, suddenly overwhelmed by the need of having her close, the need of touching her constantly. Neo laughed silently, fixing Cinder’s bangs with one hand before signing with the other one.
“I can remove the grimm out of your body,” she nodded, a million lien smile brightening her features, “I said that my purpose is liberating you, right? And I always mean what I say. Though it also means you’ll lose your arm again… ” Cinder broke out laughing out loud, that little light of hope turning into a whole sun, her entire body feeling warm and enveloped by such a strong feeling towards the petite girl that was between her arms in that very moment… a feeling she recognized as gratitude and love.
“I don’t mind it at all, this arm is what’s killing me and I don’t even know if that was Salem’s plan all along,” Cinder laughed again, completely overjoyed, but she forced herself to tone it down a little bit, clearing her throat. Even in moments like that, restraint was necessary; she was used to getting her soul crushed every time she got her hopes up for anything. “A-Are you sure, though?”
Neo nodded energetically, getting up her tippy toes to steal a quick kiss from Cinder’s lips before pulling her towards the bed again, standing next to it and gesturing with her head before signing.
“I need you to take your shirt off and lay on your stomach,” when a new wave of furious red blush took over Cinder’s face, Neo closed her eyes theatrically, with a mischievous smirk on her lips, “I’ll even close my eyes, but this time only. Don’t get used to it.”
“Don’t be cheeky, tsch.” Cinder clicked her tongue, getting rid of her shirt and hissing softly when the movement sent a small flare of pain down her back. She laid down on the bed, turning her head towards her left side, where Neo was standing still, eyes closed and that sly smile dancing on her lips. “I’m ready, Neo. But before you do anything…” Neo opened her eyes, crouching down to get at Cinder’s level, offering a curious and reassuring gaze towards the maiden. “I need to say that I’m sorry, for everything…” Neo blinked, surprised, and one of her hands traveled towards Cinder’s hair, trying to comfort her, “I’m sorry for never been able to show you how much I actually care about you, for letting you fall through that void instead of giving you my hand, that is a regret that’s been weighing down on me since that day. I’ve been living without feeling alive all this time, and I’m so, so sorry, I hope you believe me even if you don’t really have a reason to…”
“Everybody has their own struggles, and you’ve told me enough about your past experiences for me to understand why you are the way you are. And also, I threatened you first, so I kinda had it coming… I’m sorry for that too, by the way,” Neo gifted Cinder a small smile, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on her forehead, another on the tip of her nose and one last kiss on her lips, “we are not perfect people. We are actually pretty fucked up in the head, but I think… I think we can do better together, I think we can really be happy and free. That’s all I want.” At that point, a new stream of hot tears ran down Cinder’s face, and Neo took responsibility for kissing dry every last one of them.
“I love you, I love you so much, Neo…” Cinder sighed under Neopolitan’s tender gestures, so full of affection that it was hard to believe that she wasn’t trapped in a dream and destined to a cruel wake up in the near future.
“And I love you just as much… That’s why I’m going to exorcise the grimm out of you, because you might be tall as a tree but there is only enough room for one inside of you and that’s gonna be me, if you know what I mean. I don’t know if this is going to hurt, though.” Cinder’s face burned red with blush again, and ended up burying her head in the pillow, trying to hide the fluster away.
“Neopolitan, please, shut the fuck up and do the grimm thing already before I get a heart attack,” in times like this, Neo wished she had normal and functioning vocal cords so she could just laugh out loud, but her silent giggles were enough for her, and she knew that they were enough for Cinder as well.
She positioned herself, standing tall and with her hands extended towards Cinder’s body, one of them over her shoulder and the other on the middle of her back, where the black veins of grimm were born and where they convoluted together. She closed her mismatched eyes, and she remembered.
She remembered every last moment next to Cinder, every laugh, every longing stare shared between the two and every single kiss; remembered Roman, meeting him and how it changed her life forever; remembered her first taste of freedom when both her parents and Trivia Vanille died; remembered the Blacksmith and how a little gesture of kindness can create incredible changes; remembered the first time she pet a dog, the first time she met Neopolitan and the first time she became her own true self; remembered the way Cinder made her feel and imagined their future together, away from everything else. And if the world would end anyways because of Salem, at least they would walk to the afterlife hand in hand.
Neo’s hands started shining, a silver light identical to the one Ruby Rose was able to produce with her eyes, and she could feel the heat below her palms as the grimm was getting peeled away from Cinder little by little, burning away and turning into black ashes that disintegrated in the air. The Fall Maiden didn’t emit a single sound in what seemed to be a painless experience, something Neo was glad of.
It wasn’t long until the heat under her hands disappeared, and Neo opened her eyes again. Cinder’s back was empty of the black veins of the grimm, and her monster arm was gone; left were the scars that littered her skin after years of mistreatments and fights, and the stump right at the middle of her arm. And Neo was exhausted, but overjoyed at the same time, so she kneeled on the floor beside the bed and tapped Cinder’s shoulder.
Cinder turned her head back towards her, still blushing madly, but her eye widened when she found Neo’s tear covered face. “Neo, what-” The illusionist was quick to sign.
“It’s done. It is gone, you are free…” The mute nodded, the happiness that bubbled inside of her overwhelming her and making the tears unstoppable. She let her body fall back until she ended up sitting on the floor.
Cinder never turned her head that fast before, her golden eye opening wide to see the grimm arm completely gone. She looked back at Neopolitan, and then back at her missing arm again, and for the first time in forever, Cinder let out a sob of genuine relief, her human hand clinging to the sheets of the bed while she just cried her heart away. Neo rushed at her side, circling her body with one arm and leaning her forehead against Cinder’s, crying with her in complete silence.
“It is really g-gone…” Cinder said between sobs, feeling lighter than she ever felt. “I don’t even feel Salem in my head anymore, she’s gone too.” She laughed out loud, and then the laughter mixed with her tears, and Cinder was feeling too much at the same time. She never thought it could be possible to feel so full and so light, so relieved, so happy, so… free. “I’m free, Neo… We are free.”
Neo nodded against Cinder’s forehead, claiming her mouth in a soft kiss which she hoped could convey everything she felt to the maiden, smiling against Cinder’s lips when she could feel them tremble against her own in the middle of her sobs.
They were finally free. Because when the treacherous grief lifts up and disappears in a cloud of smoke, slowly but surely in the air, what is left behind is the freedom of a soul that once was too heavy, but now it got wings to soar through the skies, to go wherever it pleases, and to be whatever it wants to be. Like a multicolored tree leaf blown away by the wind.