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I tug on my collar again, just for the burst of calmness it brings. I usually leave it alone, pretend like it doesn’t exist and that I’m a Beta just like three-quarters of the population. Pretend that I’m not some subservient, submissive slut masquerading as a real person. Pretend that I don’t have to load up on heavy medication to I want to stay sane and rational and normal. When – because it’s not a matter of if – I run out of my supply, I’m going to have to go underground, give up the fight.
Because the second I miss my daily dose, I’m going into heat. Not me or polite society or even God can stop it. Only the little off-brand white pills I’d raided from Lorna’s Truck Stop can keep the monster locked away.
And I have less than ten left.
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