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“Evie, I need your help.” Jay’s lunch tray clattered on the table. “You’re going to the ball with Doug, right?”
“Well, he is my boyfriend.” Evie smiled in her lofty way.
“I don’t suppose you know anyone that doesn’t have a date yet?” He asked, eating blueberries one at a time from the small plastic portion cup.
“Aren’t you going to ask Carlos?”
“Why would I ask Carlos? Supposed to bring a date, courtship is the point of the ball.”
“Why is it that you boys always think you can be subtle? Mal and I know.” Evie rolled her eyes and took a blueberry.
“Get your own. And I’m sure that would make sense if there was something to know. Why is it that people always assume that queers are in love with their friends?”
“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’re attached at the hip most of the time and the fact that you fight with him all the time.” Evie raised both eyebrows, and Jay frowned at her stubbornly. She sighed and fished her magic mirror out of her bag. “Mirror, mirror, I must inquire, what does Jay’s heart truly desire?”
Jay leaned across the table to see the result, and an image swirled in to focus. “Pizza?” Jay laughed at her. “Definitely not Carlos.” He nodded. “He’s going with Jane. He already asked her and she said yes.”
“That’s nice!” Doug smiled as he joined the two, “They’re cute together.”
“Oh! Doug, could you go get me a bottle of water?” Evie asked in her princessy voice. Doug looked at his tray, then looked at her and smiled.
“Of course, be right back.” He whispered and walked off.
“He asked Jane?! What happened? Did you have a fight?” Evie demanded.
“No, that’s not–”
“Hey Guys, what’s going on?” Mal smiled as she sat her ray down next to Jay.
“Jay is looking for a date to the dance.” Evie looked at Mal, and her expression conveyed far more than her words,
“Aren’t you going to ask Carlos?” Mal spoke, then looked over at Jay.
“We’re not– ugh. He asked me, okay? He asked me and I said no.” Jay confessed angrily. One of his hands curled into a fist; the girls were stunned to silence. Evie looked down at her lap. Mal took a bite of her sandwich.
Through her chewing, Mal offered a blunt, “Why?”
Jays nails dug into his palm, partially on purpose. He exhaled slowly and watched his knuckles turn white. “I’m won’t be his boyfriend. The ball will just get his hopes up. First it’s the ball, then it’s slow dancing and a kiss, then it’s a date and hand holding and– I just won’t do it.” He nodded to make his point final, not looking at either of them. Doug’s steps ruffled the grass as he returned with Ben in tow. Ben sat down across from Mal and Doug next to Evie, smiling as he handed over her beverage.
“You know, Jay, I heard a couple days ago that Cassidy think’s you’re charming.” Ben smiled at the other teen. Jay looked up and smiled back, It was in-genuine, but convincing.
—————————————
“Oh, Evie! It’s beautiful!” Jane cooed, spinning the the enter of the girls’ dorm room. Ben and Mal looked up from the homework they were doing together (well, Ben was genuinely trying; Mal was stealing answers and trying to understand how he got his answers) to appraise Evie’s work. Jane wore a full-length ball gown; strapless with layers of sparkling barely blue tulle and satin rosettes covering the bodice
“You look beautiful.” Carlos grinned from his spot at the foot of Evie’s bed. Jane caught his gaze and grinned like she was bubbling over.
“You really have outdone yourself.” Ben grinned at the blue-haired girl, “I can’t wait you see yours and Mal’s.” He continued, turning his smile to his girlfriend, who rolled her eyes.
“There’s a matching tie for you, Carlos.″ Evie beamed with pride, “You guys are going to be so adorable together. I’m glad you guys are happy.” Evie threw a glance in Jay’s direction where he sat on Mal’s bed. He glared at her with not anger, but resent; she frowned back at him. Nobody else seemed to notice the exchange.
“Are you sure this will be okay for the waltz?” Jane looked slightly distressed.
“What waltz?” Jay asked, his eyebrows drawing together.
“The commencement waltz.” Ben elaborated, “Most of the royal students commence the ball with a waltz. Tomorrow in physical education, Fairy Godmother will explain it.” Ben nodded before attempting to get back to his homework.
“I don’t know how to waltz.” Carlos shook his head.
“Its okay. I’ll teach you.” Jane offered, smiling at him affectionately. Jay scowled and made a point of focusing on re-taping his tourney stick.
——————————————–
Fairy Godmother grinned at the athletic uniformed students gathered in the ballroom. “It’s lovely to see you all.” She cooed, gathering attention from the chatting teens, “Today, for your physical education class, we’re going to be doing something a little different. Every year, our Students are given a ball to celebrate their accomplishments. You are encouraged to take this opportunity to celebrate yourselves, your friends, and maybe even your significant others.” She smiled, gesturing to the congregated. Jay looked over at Carlos who was standing unnecessarily close to Jane. Mal, who stood between them with Ben behind her, nudged Jay to pay attention. Fairy Godmother was staring in their direction. “Sweet Jane, could you and Carlos come help me demonstrate?”
“Mother!” Jane whimpered, but Carlos took her hand and led her before the group. Jay watched him give Jane a reassuring smile when they faced each other.
“A waltz is the most classic of ballroom dances. Ultimately, it is romantic. Those of you who chose to bring a date to the ball, are invited to commence the ball in accordance to the school tradition, with a waltz.” She moved closer to Carlos and Jane, positioning them close and placing their hands appropriately. Jay met Carlos’ eyes over Jane’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows. Carlos scowled at him. “Now, remember, today is only an introduction, and the waltz at the ball is optional. Those of you that feel particularly interested may sign up at the end of class and will attend a special rehearsal tomorrow.” The students immediately sprung into conversation.
“Did you ask Cassidy to go?’ Evie chirped excitedly. It didn’t take much to get her interested in gossip.
“Not exactly. We’re gonna hang out this afternoon.” Jay shrugged. “Do you–”
“Children! Children, settle down. there will be plenty of time for chatting. First, a demonstration, then you may practice and converse as you please.” Fairy Godmother attempted to regain order in the room, “Now, Carlos you will step out on your right foot and Jane, you will step back on your left foot. Great, just perfect. Now, you will step out to the side with your other foot. Wonderful, and then bring your feet together. There, now do just the same, but start out on the opposite foot. And, count in your head, One two three, one two three. Beautiful. See, students, that is the essence of the waltz. If you’ll find partners to practice, I’ll be around to help you out.” She gestured for the students to commence. Jane and Carlos continued to attempt to attain some kind of fluidity in their motions, both looking awkward.
“Jay, you’re going to run out of time. Girls aren’t especially keen on having to change plans at the last moment.” Evie reminded the taller teen– an attempt to be helpful.
“It’ll be fine.” He smiled with a shrug. He glanced over at Mal and Ben, “Poor Mal. Ben’s gonna make her do this, isn’t he?”
“I don’t think you’re looking at this the same. This is Ben’s “Tale as old as time”, except Mal is the misunderstood creature, and he’s not wearing a yellow dress.” Evie sighed happily, “Being in love makes you want things you didn’t want before.” She took Doug’s hand and led him over next to Ben and Mal, who seemed to be having an easier time than Carlos and Jane.
Jay leaned against the wall with crossed arms; he watched Carlos move, sloppy and robotic at the same time, and Jane trying to coach him properly. Carlos must have noticed him looking, because he frowned at Jay over Jane’s shoulder. Jay narrowed his eyes, unsure of why Carlos was disapproving of Jay’s attention, for once. Jay smirked at him, which only served to make Carlos look away. Jay sighed and pushed away from the wall in favor of cutting class. If his favorite class was going to be wasted, it was better off wasted doing something fun.
———————————–
Carlos giggled and Jay looked up from his homework. “No, no, I think it was funny.” He could hear Carlos reassure Jane. They sat cross-legged across from each other on Carlos’ bed, Dude between them. She grinned at him. Jay tried to focus on the textbook page listing math problems in front of him. Math was easy; there was always a right answer, even with your best friend laughing with his “girlfriend”. Even if it was obnoxious and distracting, because Carlos used to laugh with Jay like that, and now Carlos barely even talked to him. Jay missed his best friend, and it had only been two days. He had thought the right answer with Carlos had been to spare hurt feelings. One friend, minus hurt feelings, left one happy friend. And that was true, Jay had found, to a certain extent. Carlos certainly acted happy, just… not with Jay. Happy wasn’t something that came naturally to Jay, or Mal, Evie, or Carlos for that matter. They had to take what they could get, and they were greedy. Mal was right, being friends is what made them happy. But, if Carlos didn’t want to be Jay’s friend anymore, where did that leave Jay?
The abrupt jingling came from Jay’s cell phone and startled him out of thought. “Carlos, it’s time for practice.” Jay reminded, closing his textbook and stuffing it onto his backpack.
“Oh, I’m excused today. Jane and I have to go rehearse for the dance.” Carlos smiled and shrugged. Jay stared at him in disbelief. “I already talked to coach.” Carlos confirmed, raising his eyebrows in case Jay wanted to challenge him.
———————————
“What’s with you Jay?” Came the bark form the side of the field, “Unnecessary roughness. Take a lap!” Coach yelled. Jay rolled his eyes and pulled off his helmet, dropping it into the grass along with his stick. He glared down at Cam LaBouff who had yanked off his own helmet but had yet to get off the ground. Jay forced himself to extend a hand to help the blonde teen stand. He pulled Cam to his feet and let go, turning away and heading to the edge of the field with long strides.
“Hustle, Jay, we’ve got a practice to finish!” Coach goaded. Jay rolled his eyes and settled into a forceful jog. Before he reached the first corner, Ben fell into stride with him.
“I thought we worked on that.”
“Worked on what?” Jay didn’t even look at him.
“You know what I mean. You’re a good player when you focus your energy.”
“Thanks, I guess.” It didn’t exactly feel like a compliment to Jay.
“So what’s got you distracted?”
“I didn’t finish my homework.” Jay attempted to shrug. Ben slowed and grabbed Jay’s upper arm to stop him.
“We both know that’s not it. You never finish your homework.” Ben nearly laughed, but refrained, knowing that it wouldn’t help the situation. “Look, I know you and I aren’t as close as maybe Mal or Carlos and I. but I can tell something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine.” Jay sighed, “Lets just go, Coach is waiting on us.”
Ben sighed, “Well you leave me no choice then. As team captain, I’m asking you to sit out practice.” he put his hands on his waist and stood up straighter.
“What?” Jay looked amused, eyebrows raised.
“You heard me. If you can’t focus and be more careful, you could hurt your team mates.”
“I am focused! I love tourney. Why don’t you bench Carlos? Obviously this team isn’t his priority. At least I’m trying.” The rest of the team had stopped their drills and was watching Jay. Ben listened carefully, frowning.
“Are you angry at Carlos for not being here?”
“No… yes.” Jay shrugged and shook his head, “it doesn’t matter.”
“No, you’re right, he should be here. But that’s no reason for… this.” Ben gestured to the other teen. Jay crossed his arms and stayed silent for a long moment. He seemed to soften at Ben’s reprimand and slouched a little, looking more like he was holding himself rather than like he was being confrontational.
“You’re right. I’m gonna go.” Jay said quietly before heading toward the locker room.
——————————
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.” Ben said, letting himself into Jay and Carlos’ dorm. Carlos hadn’t returned, but Jay was laying on his back on his bed, beanie pulled down over his eyes to block out the early evening sunlight glaring though the window. “I mean, sometimes I push too hard, like my dad, and I–”
“I’m okay.” Jay said, not moving.
“I know old habits die hard and you do have to work harder to be a team player, but if someone gets hurt, that’s the hard way to learn a lesson.”
“You were right to ask me to sit out. I’m used to being the hard luck case.”
“Jay, come on, you know that’s not what I meant. I don’t want you to be upset. I’m your friend and I refuse to allow it.” Ben smiled and nudged Jay’s shoulder. Suddenly, Jay sat up and stared at Ben accusingly.
“Who in Auradon decided that it was against the rules to be upset? I’m upset, and I’m just fine staying that way.” Jay seethed, “Please let me be alone.”
“Because we’re good. I know you don’t get it yet, but being a good person means that you want your friends to be happy. It’s not a conditional thing.” Ben shook his head and sat down beside Jay.
“Yeah, because that works out so well. I tried, and now my best friend barely talks to me. You make it all sound so simple and easy, but you’re wrong.”
“Wait, why isn’t Carlos talking to you?” Ben’s face jumped to concern immediately.
“He’s busy with Jane.” Jay shrugged.
“That’s not your fault.” Ben was still all smiles, and it kept Jay from getting too angry, even if he didn’t understand why the Prince was always so cheerful. “But you seem to think that it is, and I honestly don’t think that’s the case.” Jay looked at his hands
“He asked me to be his date for the ball, and I said no.” Ben nodded, his mile fading slightly,
“You’re not interested in guys?” He sounded like this was the answer to everything that happened, like everything was made more sense that way.
“It’s different.” Jay answered, pausing as if he expected Ben to question him. “Relationships are different.”
“No dating, Mal told me–”
“It’s not that I’m not interested in guys, I just don’t need someone’s hand to hold, someone’s birthday to forget, someone that I have to spend time with before I spend time with anyone else…” Jay trailed off, trying for a half smile
“Do you… like Carlos?”
“We’ve had a,” Jay couldn’t seem to find the right label, “thing. Since before we left home.”
“A thing.” Ben nodded
“Yeah like, we–”
“I understand.” Ben offered an uneasy laugh before Jay could explain,
“We never really talked about it. I think Mal and Evie knew, but they didn’t say anything.”
“Jay, I’m going to say something, but I don’t want you to answer me, at least night tonight. You should think about it.” Ben offered slowly, “You and Carlos should talk. Your friends– Me, and Mal and Evie and Doug, will all still be your friends no matter what happens; we all want you both to be happy. But, what is so wrong about holding hands? I could easily hold your hand right now, but it won’t be the same as holding hands with Mal. It’s not the act that gives it meaning, it’s the feelings behind it.” Ben smiled and stood, feeling confident. “I have to go get my homework done. I’ll see you at breakfast in the morning.”
——————————————-
Jay sat down next to Ben, who looked at him curiously. Jay smiled slightly in response but said nothing as he tucked his hair behind his ear.
“Well, you two just look thick as thieves.” Mal raised an eyebrow and chuckled slightly at her own joke. “Must have been an awful lot of “bonding” you did last night.” She concluded before taking another bite of her waffles.
“Oh you know, just talked about girls and stuff.” Ben smiled.
“Girls?” She asked, looking at Jay with her brow furrowed, “Sure. You and Carlos still not talking, then?” She smirked.
“He’s just been busy with Jane and that dance thing.” he sneered at her, having no patience for her constant teasing that morning.
“Touchy. Looks like I struck a nerve.” She smirked and looked at Ben, who gave her a reproaching look. She rolled her eyes “What, are you two gonna gang up on me now?” Neither of the boys wanted to incur her fury, so they dutifully didn’t answer.
“So, what time would you like me to come pick you up tonight?” Ben brimmed with excitement.
“I dunno. Evie insists that I let her do me up, and she has to do herself first.” Mal said after forcefully swallowing, “And I think Jane is coming over too, since her dress is there.”
“Well, make sure you’re ready early, Mom wants to take pictures and I have surprise–” Jay tuned out the couple’s plans, it wasn’t his business anyway. As they conspired and Jay ate in silence, Carlos and Jane arrived. Jane sat herself on Jay’s other side with a gentle smile, and Carlos sat across the table from her.
“So I’ll be getting ready with Mal and Evie. I’m so excited! I’ve never been to a formal ball before.” Jane twittered to a smiling Carlos. Jay offered a half smile at his friends, watching Carlos grin humbly at Jane.
“I just want to make it the evening you deserve.” He told her, and Jay’s smile dropped.
“Good Morning!” Evie chirped as she, too, approached, with Doug in step, carrying her tray for her. “Oh my goodness, tonight is going to be so great. I don’t know how I’m gonna concentrate in class.” She babbled, nearly skipping over to the table. “Oh, I’ll have to go grab an extra chair. Be right back.” She noticed, seeing that only one seat remained.
“ Uh, no. I’m all done.” Jay spoke, forcing a smile again, “You can have my seat.” he picked up his tray with about half of his food remaining, “I’ll see you guys in class.” He muttered before stalking off.
“What’s his problem? He always finishes his food.” Carlos asked as he chewed. Ben frowned across the table at him as Evie sat down across from Doug.
“I think he’s just nervous about taking Cassidy tonight.” Ben nodded slowly. Mal took his gaze and looked at him curiously, causing him to smile at her to make her drop whatever she was questioning.
——————————-
Jay exhaled as he tightened his god-forsaken tie. He hadn’t worn a tie but a couple of times in his life, but he knew he hated them. Black tie, white shirt, black jacket, black pants: just as Evie had prescribed. The only thing left was his hair. Evie may have been one of his best friends, but she was very picky when it came to his appearance and he rarely took her judgments. The ball, however, was different. He was trying, like they all were, to belong in Auradon, and if that meant formal dress on the rare occasion, he was just going to suck it up and deal with it. He raked his black comb through his hair and yanked it back loosely in an elastic.
“Do I look alright?” Carlos asked as he came out of the bathroom, smoothing down the front of his white jacket. Jay turned and tossed the comb on his bed, looking his friend over.
“You look geat. Jane’s gonna be floored.” he offered plainly, almost bored. Carlos took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again.
“Do you think she’s gonna wear heels? If she does, she’ll be taller than me, and–”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in heels. Not to mention, Evie says after the really formal part is over most girls take off their shoes.” The conversation was tense, teetering on awkward. Carlos sighed,
“Jay, I’m sorry that asking you to the ball made it hard for you to be around me. I get that you’re not interested, but that doesn’t mean we can stop being friends.” He cut through the tension, it seemed like he was talking too loud and too fast. “I’m not going to let you. Stop being my friend that is.” He shrugged.
Jay forced a smile, “Carlos, we’re still friends. I was just trying to give you your space to be with Jane.” He put his hands on Carlos’ shoulders, “Now, go get your fair maiden.” He pushed Carlos toward the door. Ben’s words rang through his head. He should talk. This whole thing, it was all fake. They should talk. But, who was Jay to drive himself between Carlos and Jane? Good people want their friends to be happy. Carlos was happy with Jane. Carlos wanted to be Jay’s friend. Jay would be his friend. And in that way, Jay could make Carlos happy.
—————————————–
Jay stood slightly behind Cassidy as she chatted gaily with her friends, her red curls bouncing as she nodded and laughed. He smiled slightly and tried to look attentive to fit in with her friends, but was also scanning the room for some of his own friends. He knew Ben, Mal, Carlos and Jane were off in another room, staging for their grand entrance, but he didn’t see Evie and Doug either. Lonnie offered a small wave from across the ballroom, where she stood by the punch bowl with Chad, Audrey, and Cam. He shrugged at her and she offered a sympathetic smile. He was used to being a little isolated, just like Mal, Evie and Carlos were, they just weren’t the same as the other teens. Make no mistake, they were adapting, but evolution takes time, and they’s only come to Auradon 6 months before the ball.
Before long, the fanfare began and all the students turned to face the cleared path from the ballroom door. The large wooden doors swung open and in marched the young couples, Ben and Mal leading the procession. A few pairs behind them, Evie’s raven-blue locks were pulled over her one shoulder to compliment her blue glittering dress, and behind her were Carlos and Jane, concentrating solely on their entrance and not on the other students watching them. Once the 10-ish couples took their places on the hardwood floor, they pulled each other close and the music began. Jay recognized the song as something he’d heard Mal hum when she thought nobody would notice.
His friends spun around the ballroom with much more synchronicity than Jay would have expected after just one afternoon rehearsal. Jay pushed his way to the very edge of the dance floor so he could see his friends more clearly. Evie looked as if she may cry of happiness; he suspected that this was because she finally felt like the princess she always thought she was. Doug gazed back at her like Dude looked at Carlos. Mal looked like she was about to start laughing hysterically, and Ben looked nearly just as giddy. As for Carlos, he looked nervous and pensive. His back was straight and stiff, though he was dancing quite well (technically). Jay watched the dance somewhat hypnotized by the fluid movements and lilting orchestral tune. He was startled when Cassidy nearly jumped on him.
“Come on, Hansome, let’s go spike the punch!” She giggled in his ear, and who was Jay to pass up on a little mischief– especially mischief with fun results? Her black asymmetrical dress swayed around her legs as she led him away,
“I was watching them.” He grinned at her,
“All the teaches are watching too, that’s why we gotta do it now.” She explained in her slight accent, learned from her mother. Jay continued to follow her and her friends, but craned his neck to look back at the dance.The tune was winding down and the couples twirled about a few more times before separating and bowing to each other, then their audience. To the applause of their peers, they hugged each other and separated, dispersing into the crowd. Jay tracked Carlos, being led by Jane to one of the seating areas beneath the balcony that lined the ballroom. They didn’t sit, however. Jane lurched forward and embraced Carlos suddenly, and he had no choice but to wrap his arms around her waist and hug her back.
And it didn’t bother Jay. Gratitude was something that he didn’t quite understand, but he expected that it was the reason for Jane’s sudden affection, if what Evie had told him was right. Every girl wants to be a princess. The waltz was undoubtedly beautiful, and with a decadent dress and all of their friends looking on, Carlos and Evie had made Jane a princess. Jane pulled back a little, no longer relying on Carlos for support. They spoke, and Jay couldn’t hear what they said. He saw Carlos smile as his hands rested on her waist, and she smiled back with her hands on his shoulders. They swayed slightly, maybe an attempt at a dance or maybe unconsciously.
“If you want to go talk to your friends, you can. I dun have a monopoly on your time.” Cassidy assured Jay and broke him from is stare. He looked at her, “You’ve been staring. Nearly all night.” she confirmed. He looked back at Carlos and Jane, and they seemed closer together. Cassidy raised her eyebrows, “I won’t be offended. I’ll save a dance for you.” Jay shook his head,
“Let’s dance now.” He threw a charming smile, and she blushed slightly. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor and moved to where Evie was still dancing with Doug and joined them.
“You look beautiful, Cassidy!” Doug smiled and leaned close so she could hear him.
“You look very handsome yourself, Doug!” She replied. Jay let his gaze shift momentarily as they chatted, and he didn’t like what he saw. He froze in place, and Evie was the first to notice.
“Jay, are you okay?” She nearly had to yell over the music and teenage chatter as she came to his side. she looked at him, then followed his gaze and gasped. Jane was pressed against Carlos, her hands around the back of his neck, and they were kissing.
Every part of Jay screamed at him. Go over there, teach them both a lesson. Stay with Cassidy, don’t hurt her feelings. Let Carlos be happy, he’s your friend. Be selfish, or you’ll always lose. This is Jane’s fairy tale, let her have the happily ever after. You’re a villain, take what you want.
He was tense and rooted to the spot. Fighting against what he thought he wanted and what he was supposed to want. “Being good isn’t always easy, but in the end it makes everything else easy.” Fairy Godmother had preached in class several weeks ago. Jay forced himself to look away and turn back to his friends. Cassidy and Doug were still dancing, and Mal and Ben had come to join.
Ben caught Jay’s gaze and took in his expression, then stood on his toes to look over Jay’s shoulder and frowned. Then Mal noticed, and of course she looked too, raising both eyebrows in alarm. The four of them not dancing alerted their friends, and the six of them stood, all except Jay watching Carlos and Jane, not moving while surrounded by their celebrating classmates. “Jay, don’t get upset.” Evie attempted to console her friend. Mal sighed and rolled her eyes.
“I’m tired of this. Jay, go talk to him.” She implored.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” Jay dismissed her, “There’s nothing to talk about.” He made his way out if the ballroom and into the hall, not wanting to have to be around everyone else having fun. He just needed space, that’s all. Time to convince himself that this was the right thing to do. Carlos seemed happy with Jane now. Maybe if he hadn’t turned Carlos down he’d just be holding him back from what he really wanted.
“Come on, Jay. Stop pretending you’re not bothered by this.” Mal had followed him, “You deserve to be happy. Don’t you remember? We chose to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
“Ben went to get Carlos.” She sighed, “Tonight was supposed to be fun.”
“I’m sorry.” Jay looked at the floor, stricken that he’d taken away his friends’ fun. Mal stepped closer to him.
“I know that you are used to not being allowed to have what you want. But with Carlos, you can, he’s already tried.”
“I don’t know what I want.” Jay shrugged dismissively. The doors to the ballroom creaked open again and Ben was escorting Carlos out. Carlos looked confused and Ben looked apologetic.
“You two really need to talk.” Ben offered softly, grabbing Mal’s hand. “We’ll be inside whenever you’re done. We’ll talk to Jane and Cassidy.” He assured the other teen boys. Jay rolled his eyes, Carlos shrugged. Once their friends had left them, Carlos was the first to speak up,
“Ben told me what was bothering you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to–”
“I was wrong.” Jay interrupted him, “I’m sorry. I was just…” He tried to explain himself, but trailed off with a sigh. He had yet to make eye contact with his friend. “I wish things could be like they were before.” He tried to offer a smile,
“I don’t. I don’t want to have to make you hide every time I hear my mother’s voice. I don’t want to run when your Dad call’s you, I don’t want to lie to Mal and Evie.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” Carlos’ sudden assertiveness came out louder than intended. When Jay didn’t immediately answer, Carlos continued, “Because, I’m not playing your game anymore.”
“You think I’m playing a game with you?’
“Yeah. Flash a charming smile, steal what pleases you, and move on to the next big score.” Carlos’ voice was bitter, lacking patience.
“Why are you angry at me?”
“Because it is so frustrating to deal with you! You made me really think that I was worth something to somebody. You led me on, and the worst part is, I believed you. I was foolish enough to think that maybe with me, you were being genuine. I thought maybe I was special.”Carlos took a deep breath, “ I should have known better.” he sighed.
“You are special.” Jay offered weakly. “You asked me and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Saying yes would have been a good option.” Carlos offered sarcastically. Jay glared,
“Carlos, I was scared. I didn’t know how to… be what you wanted. I wanted to make sure you would be happy.”
“You don’t get to decide what makes me happy, Jay.”
“That’s not…” Jay’s cheeks burned, shamed at Carlos’ accusations,
“Sorry, I’m not trying to make you upset.” Carlos rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Jay. Jay took a step back and shrugged,
“I already feel bad. ‘S not like you can make it worse.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Ben told me that you said you would. Why did you let me go with Jane?”
“I thought you were happy. Ben said that I should want my friends to be happy.”
“You would have made me happy, Jay! That’s why I asked you in the first place.”
“It certainly seemed like Jane made you happy.”
“I went crying to Jane when you said you wouldn’t go with me. It was’t like I could go talk to Ben or Evie or Mal, because you always insisted that we keep everything between us. I trusted her to not tell anyone. Then, she asked if I wanted to go with her. I didn’t know she was going to kiss me.” Carlos defended, “She was trying to thank me for going with her. She’s not conniving; she knew I wasn’t interested.” He shook his head, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“So what do we do?” Jay spoke up, finally meeting Carlos’ eyes for the fist time since they’d started arguing. He loosened his tie slightly and put his hands into his pockets for lack of better occupation.
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” Jay sighed. Carlos just waited for his answer. They stood in silence for several minutes. “I want to try.” Jay decided, “To be your boyfriend, I guess.” he looked sheepish, but Carlos beamed at him. The younger’s smile was infectious, and Jay began to smile back before Carlos kissed him.
It was sudden, but Jay took Carlos’ advances with ease. Carlos out one hand on Jay’s shoulder and the other on his chest, and Jay’s hands slid out of his pockets and latched on to Carlos’ hips, pulling him closer. it wasn’t their first kiss, but Ben was right, Jay decided. The meaning behind it made a world of difference. For Jay, that was enough.