Chapter Text
It was Gold’s fault really. He’d been the one to hear the rumors of a mountain man up on Mount Silver, then decided to climb the wretched frozen tundra to go challenge him to a battle then come back down and of course tell his favorite gym leader, Green.
When Green heard the news that the mountain man trainer was none other than Red the champion, Red the former best friend, Red the dream stealer, he immediately closed the gym and packed a backpack.
The mountain was massive. pidgeot could handle the flight most of the way then Arcanine could handle the rest. Green wasn’t all that worried and was able to let his mind wander as they took off into the sky. He had to admit it was beautiful. The snow capped mountain with the massive pine trees and rock formations. He could see random pokemon romping around below.
Green wasn’t sure why he was even going up the mountain, he had no reason to care about Red anymore. They weren’t friends, they had made that clear after the final championship battle. Where Red beat Green and stole the one thing that he had going for him in life.
Green still thought about Red all the time, he constantly felt a pain of guilt over the way he’d treated Red. He should have been a better friend, and he should have acted more mature when he lost, he certainly shouldn’t have punched Red in the face and call him a piece of shit before storming off shortly after losing his title. Red though, shouldn’t have run off and not tell anyone except a note to his mom that said, “Leaving to train, don’t know where, don’t know when I’ll be back. -Red.”
Red could have at least said bye to Green. It didn’t matter, Green was going to be the bigger man. And they were men now. They’d only been 12 at the championship battle, that was five years ago, they were 17 years old. Old enough to meet their soulmates.At 16, skin to skin contact with a soulmate led to a soulbond, a euphoric experience if the soulmate 101 classes taken as kids were anything to go by.
Green briefly wondered if Red had found his yet, probably not being up on that mountain and all. He and Green would have that in common, a starting point to rebuild a broken friendship. Green wanted nothing more than to repair the relationship he once had with Red, he wanted it from the moment he had started to pull away from Red on the start of their journey. Green had wanted to prove himself to the world that he didn’t need anyone else, even though all he really wanted to do was go on an adventure with his best friend. Who he then lost. The irony of it all was not lost on him.
The wind was picking up and snow flurries were difficult to see through, Green sent pidgeot to the ground. He recalled pidgeot to his ball after giving a quick ruffle of feathers and a treat. He brought out arcanine. Arcanine’s fur was warm and soft, perfect for Green to ride the rest of the way up. Arcanine licked his trainer’s face then allowed Green to climb up. Green felt the warmth of the massive pokemon starving away the cold. His happy go lucky girl was more than happy to bound in the snow and she was evolved enough to scare off any potential attackers.
Green wasn’t entirely sure where Red was, Gold had said the summit of the mountain had a clearing and a cave and that’s where he found him, but Green wasn’t sure how much actual mountain he’d have to cover before he found it. He glanced back at his backpack, he only had a day or twos worth of food, he could stretch it to three if he had to, but he seriously did not want to search for three days. He contemplated searching for a few hours and then leaving and coming back, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave the mountain until he saw Red.
The pair reached the summit and it was obvious that Green’s worries had been in vain, There was a massive fire spout shooting off into the air. Arcanine headed in the direction it was coming from, Charizard was probably running drills or mouthing off.
The closer arcanine and Green got the more worried Green became. How was Red going to react, was he going to be happy to see Green. Green hoped so, but realistically he knew Red was probably still pissed. Besides the punching incident, Green had turned into a bully during their journey, always trying to battle, throwing snide remarks when he’d always lose, shoving Red around. Green had changed a lot, for the better, over the last few years.
He carded his hands through arcanine’s thick fur, calming himself, attempting to dispel some of his nervous energy. They came to a clearing in the trees, Green could make out the outline of a charizard, a snorlax, and a man standing in the clearing, running battle drills.
A few more feet and Green could see details, Red stood still halting the attacks on both sides with a simple hand up in the air, he was watching the intruders with a look of caution. Green watched him too before gently pulling at arcanine’s fur to stop her. Green climbed off and gave her a quick scratch behind the ears and a berry before recalling her to her ball. He goes to put the ball back on his belt, then he contemplates keeping one out in case Red is less than happy to see him, but decides against it. Red wouldn’t hurt him for real, no matter how angry Red was.
Approaching cautiously, like a wounded pokemon to a rescuer, Green inched closer to Red. He took the slow approach to drink the other man in. He’d grown quite a bit since the last time they’d seen each other. He had also bulked up substantially, he was ripped. Green couldn’t help but admire the muscular form. Green knew it wasn’t a heavy coat rather than muscles, since the idiot was wearing short sleeves in the snow. Green saw red, metaphorically and physically. He rushed forward, sprinting at Red yelling at him.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING, ITS 12 DEGREES OUT ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY INSANE! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS HERE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT?! WHILE WE SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR YOU?! WHAT THE FUCK!!! YOUR MOM IS BROKEN FROM YOU BEING GONE!” Green reached Red ready to yell and lecture some more, and oh was he turning into his gramps more and more each day when Red did the unthinkable. He straight up decked Green. A right hook straight to Green’s cheek bone. It would have been pretty painful with the force that Red used, if it weren’t for the sudden tingling and warmth that spread all over his body. A strong feeling of euphoria overtook his body and he closed his eyes in ecstasy. He felt waves of pleasure overtake him not unlike after a late night session of taking himself in hand. The pleasure pulsated throughout his body for what felt like eternity.
Green started to come down from his high and stared at Red with wide eyes full of shock and excitement. Soulmates. His soulmate was Red. A flood of emotions hit him all at once. It made sense in some way, the fact that he worried constantly about Red, thought about him nonstop even when they were rivals. He had always loved Red, it was his fate to love Red. Also it was apparently his fate to fuck everything up. He’d already ruined his relationship with Red, now they were soulmates. Red was stuck with Green as a soulmate, and Green saw no worse punishment for someone who deserved the world. Red deserved better than Green, Green knew that much.
Red’s hands were clenched in fists by his side. His pokemon were on guard, sensing their trainers' discomfort.
“You?” Red spat with venom. Green felt his heart sink. He started carefully walking backwards hands up in surrender. Green knew at the bottom of his heart that he deserved the hateful look that Red was currently sending his way.
“I..I..um..yeah..um..sorry… Yeah.. I’m sorry. Sorry for everything.” Green did what he’s always done when things get too tough and too emotional for him, he turned around and ran. As soon as he realized Red wasn’t following he pulled arcanine’s ball. The fire type was immediately on edge seeing the way Green was barely holding himself together. She laid down close to him and gently licked his face, licking tears he didn’t know were falling off of his face. He pulled himself up onto her back and sunk into her fur whispering for her to take him down the mountain.
He let himself cry openly and feel sorry for Red. Poor Red stuck with him for a soulmate, stuck with the bully of his youth, stuck with the one person who should always build him up but instead tore him down over and over, teased and was rude to for no reason other than his own selfish pride. Green felt his stomach twist and something dark take root in his mind. A small part of Green had always hated himself, but right now he loathed himself with his whole being.
Arcanine ran as fast as she could without Green falling off, any wild pokemon either ignored her or were too terrified of her to bother the pair. They reached the bottom of the mountain in record time. Arcanine whined when Green didn’t move, she gently nudged him with her wet nose. He slowly rose from laying on arcanine. He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and put on his best Green Oak smile before dismounting. She nuzzled into his neck. He rubbed her affectionately, pulling another berry from his pack. She ate it and nuzzled into his neck again licking his now dry face. He patted her one last time and whispered his thanks before recalling her to the ball and bringing out pidgeot. He climbed onto the flying type and they went off into the sky.
Green landed in front of his childhood home but rather than going inside he took a left turn and walked up to the front door of the next house. He knocked loudly. It was late in the evening, but Delia opened the door and greeted Green warmly with a hug welcoming him in. She led him to the livingroom and sat gracefully down on the couch patting the spot next to her. Green sank down. He stared at the framed photo on the coffee table. It was of Red as a boy holding a charmander plush, smiling widely at the camera.
Green remembered the day clearly, it was Red’s 7th birthday. Green was the one who picked that plush out for Red, he had dragged his gramps around for hours at the mall trying to find the perfect gift for his friend who helped him through everything. It had been 6 months earlier that Green’s parents had died in a horrible accident and Red had been his shining light through all of it. The only thing keeping a small Green from falling off the edge of grief.
A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of the memory, he looked up at Delia who was starting to look concerned. He smiled weakly at her.
“I found him…. I found Red.”
Delia gasped, hand coming to cover her mouth. Tears sprang from her eyes and she started to ask with a shaking voice if he was okay but Green interrupted.
“He’s fine, he’s living on top of Mount Silver. I’m going back the day after tomorrow to bring supplies and maybe try to convince him to come back down. It’s..the least I could do.”
Delia nodded happily and hugged Green close, whispering thanks before going to work on getting a supply pack ready for her son. A smile of relief plastered on her face. She would write him a letter, make him a meal, and pack as many essentials as Green could carry, maybe convince him to come home with her where he belongs.
Green had made a decision on his way back to Pallet Town, he was going to do everything he could to become the kind of soulmate Red deserved. And if that meant constantly hiking up that cursed mountain carrying supplies then so be it. Green swore to himself he would become something, someone that Red could count on no matter what. If Red still didn’t love him, that would be okay, as long as Green knew Red was taken care of. Even if Red pretended the bond never happened.
After promising Delia to be back the next day, Green walked the short distance to his childhood home, he knocked before entering using the key. He had his own apartment above his gym, but Gramps and Daisy made sure he always had a room and a key at home if he ever needed anything at all. It was rare he stayed there, too many memories of late nights hiding under the blankets and playing with Red.
Green made his way to the kitchen, his stomach begging for food. Knowing Daisy there would be some massive meal in the fridge. She was a great cook, maybe he could get her to make some food to take up to Red, or maybe she could teach him a few things so he could cook for Red. If Red ever wanted to take the soulmate bond further than just Green begging for forgiveness and attempting to spoil Red enough to atone for his past sins.
“Green! What are you doing here my boy! Not that we aren’t pleased to see you.” Gramps jovially said from the kitchen table where he was having the evening tea. Daisy jumped up and wrapped Green in a warm hug. He returned the embrace and sunk into it. He may have gotten taller than her, but she’d always be his big sister.
“I climbed Mount Silver today. Red was at the top.” Both Oaks gasped not unlike Delia. Green held up a hand signaling more to the story.
“He’s okay. Thriving actually, he’s gotten really strong, both physically and as a trainer. I’m going to go back the day after tomorrow, bring him some supplies and try to convince him to come down. I already spoke to Delia. I’m going to stay here tonight and tomorrow night if that’s okay.”
“Green you know you don’t have to ask, this is your home too.” Daisy cupped his cheek, Green briefly wondered if the punch had bruised, probably not since the healing powers of bonding happened at the same time, and Delia never mentioned anything nor looked worried at his face.
Green leaned into his sister’s touch and kissed her forehead before gripping gramp’s shoulder in a warm greeting and heading upstairs. He neglected to mention the fact that Red was his soulmate. He wouldn’t tell anyone until Red was ready, until he was worthy of Red. He might have to keep it a secret his entire life, but he was going to try his damndest to make himself better, for Red. Anything for Red. Red his soulmate. Green knew he was falling hard and fast, the soulmate hormones doing their job as they coursed through his body sending signals of love to his brain, but he’d be kidding himself if he said he didn’t already love Red even without the hormones.
Green fell asleep easily in his room. He dreamed about Red, nice dreams involving cuddles on the couch and lazy days on a beach. Green woke up the next morning with plans for an Alolan vacation for Red. Something nice the best his money could buy. Even if Red went alone leaving Green behind, the thought made him incredibly sad, but he knew he didn’t deserve Red. Maybe he could become a sugar daddy for Red. He made enough at the gym, Red didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to. Green would slave away all day for Red.
The rest of the day and night flew by quickly. Delia had come over and brought a massive bag full of things for her son. She gave Green a giant hug and told him to stop by in the morning before he left to bring some bento boxes as well. Sleep came quickly again, his body was still adjusting to the influx of new hormones, typically once soulmates met they would stay close to each other which in turn would help the hormones to adjust easily in their bodies. Green hoped Red would let him hang around for a few days, sharing contact and easing their way into this new territory and hopefully rebuilding their tattered relationship. Nothing but hope and determination filled Green’s heart and head. It would be hard to make amends for the past, but for Red he could face everything.
Green was awake before his alarm. He hopped out of bed ready for the day. Excitement built in his core at the prospect of seeing Red again. His Red. His beautiful soulmate. He pounded down the stairs and garbled down breakfast chugging a cup of coffee. He hugged his gramps and sister goodbye before running in and grabbing the bentos from Delia who gave him another hug and thanks. Green promised to bring her boy home. She had patted his back and told him it might take a while, Red was stubborn afterall.
He took off on pidgeot before the sun had even finished rising.
The trip back up the mountain was significantly faster than the first time. His pokemon could sense his excitement and that goaded them on pushing themselves to get Green up as soon as possible. It was a clear day. The sun was shining and bringing warmth to the mountain, it seemed to shine off the snow like diamonds, the trees were even greener and the contrast of the mountain and the sky was something out of a museum painting. There was no storm or active snowfall this time and pidgeot was able to fly all the way to the summit.
They landed gently in the snow, after sliding off pidgeot and recalling him Green looked up and saw Red was already outside watching. Green couldn’t hide his smile, his body reacting to the nearness of his soulmate. He lugged the backpack on his back and walked as fast as he could over to where Red was standing with arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face.
Green wondered if the soulmate hormones were affecting Red like they were him. A thought came to Green, a memory from school Red could have very well been in physical or emotional pain. Sometimes the influx of hormones caused a brief sickness much like puberty in some people, moodswings, cramps, light fevers, aches, exhaustion all possible side effects especially if the soulmates weren’t engaging in physical contact. Guilt overtook him and his smile faltered for a second, he shouldn’t have ran the other day. It wasn’t healthy. Another thing he had to work on. He steeled himself and kept going until he reached Red. He was in a short sleeve shirt again today, but at least the sun was out and it was considerably warmer than it had been, plus Green knew that there was a large coat in the backpack.
“Hey! I brought presents! Your mom made us lunch too. She packed supplies, gramps and Daisy threw in a few things too.” Green had taken the pack off and had opened it and began pulling things out.
“You told them where I was?” Red bit out. Green’s hands stilled. He hadn’t thought about Red not wanting people to know where he was. Panic and self-hatred gripped him again, he was already failing at being a good soulmate after he had sworn to himself he would be better. How could he do something so stupid!
“I.. um.. Yeah. I only told your mom and Daisy and gramps. Family only! They won’t tell anyone else don’t worry no reporters will make their way up here! I’ll stand at the base and keep them away if I have to. I didn’t sss..ssay anything about the bonding either” Green felt his cheeks go red, shame filling him. Damn hormones making every emotion feel 100x stronger.
“That wasn’t your place, Green.” Red said said his name like he was cussing there was venom in his words, no trace of the love that Green had been feeling over the last few days.
“I know. I’m really sorry, Red. I was just worried about you! I want you to be okay! Plus I knew how worried your mom has been. I just wanted to be a good soulmate. I’m sorry, I’ll think through my actions better next time.” His voice was barely over a whisper, he felt his heart being crushed. Red was mad and it was his fault, again. Green was shivering, the day which had seemed so warm turned cold.
Red glared daggers at Green, he felt himself shrinking wishing to disappear. This isn’t how this reunion was supposed to go. Red was supposed to hold him and they were supposed to have a long talk by fire light. Red was supposed to pack all his things and come home with Green. Red was supposed to touch him, make skin to skin contact, ease the burden of the hormones coursing through both of their bodies. Green felt sick. He reached his hand out to Red begging for contact, even a ghost of a touch would be enough. Red smacked Green’s arm away, not touching Green’s ungloved hands, only the sleeve of Green’s jacket. No physical contact. Green pulled his hand to his chest. It felt like he had been burned. His vision was blurring. He felt like he was falling off the side of the mountain.
“Don’t touch me.” Red growled, stepping several paces back. He was too far away, Green’s world was crashing down on him. It was supposed to be a nice day, the sun was shining, they were together again. He knew he didn’t deserve Red, but he wanted him so badly.
“Red, I’m sorry. Please. I..I won’t try again, it’s just these hormones you know. I have a lot to tell you a lot to apologize for, can we talk, maybe sit down and start working everything out as soulmates?” Green looked up with lillipup eyes.
Anger coursed through Red’s veins. He clenched his fists and balled them up inside his pants pocket. It took all of his willpower not to go kick the everliving shit out of Green. He looked so pathetic laying there weeping. For what? Because Green was a little asshole, a spoiled brat who’d never been told no. Who ruined other people’s achievements because he was jealous? An idea came to Red suddenly. He felt no love towards Green. He hated Green with his whole being, he wanted Green to suffer like he had the last 5 years in isolation because Green couldn’t handle losing. A memory came to mind, a class they’d taken as kids, soulmates 101. A smirk graced his lips and he observed Green with disgust as if he were a pile of kangaskhan dung.
“Green. You aren’t worth my time. My soulmate bonding was wasted on you. I reject you as my soulmate.” Red sneered as Green began shaking, grief overtaking him. He was sure that his limbs would give out any second. He crawled on his knees pleading with Red.
“Please Red, I'll do better. I swear I’ll make it up to you! I’ll do whatever you want. I obey everything you tell me. Please Red. I love you so much. I’m so sorry, please I’ll be better, please don’t reject me.” Green tried grabbing Red’s arms begging for a second chance. Red had a dark expression and he kneed Green in the gut, Green doubled over in pain clutching his stomach. Green vomited up the breakfast he had eaten a few hours earlier.
“Don’t come here again. I never want to have to look at your ugly face again. Green Oak, I reject you as my soulmate. Rot in hell you spoiled piece of shit.” Red spit on Green didn’t spare him another look as he walked into the cave. His anger felt like it had no bounds, he wanted to go back out and beat Green so bad he’d never wake up again, maybe that would fix things for Red. Something held him back. A nagging voice in the back of his mind yelling that he didn’t actually want to hurt Green, that he loved Green, Green was his soulmate, it’s the hormones, go make physical contact. Red let the anger overtake the voice but he didn’t go back outside until he was sure Green was gone.
Green wasn’t sure how long he’d been laying in the dirt. He knew Red was gone, Red was no longer his. He’d been rejected. He grabbed a ball from his waist and threw it, arcanine came out ready to play until she saw Green. She whimpered and nudged him with her nose. He tried lifting his arm to comfort her but he couldn't because he didn't have the energy. She was smart and well trained. She knew she needed to get Green out of whatever situation he was in and quickly. She pulled him up onto her back using her mouth, gently grabbing the fabric of his jacket as if he was a growlithe pup.
Green knew warmth of his beloved pokemon, but he could feel nothing but darkness and despair. He wanted to die. He thought back to the same lesson that Red had, they sat next to each other then, scribbling notes back and forth talking about how boring the lecture was and why were they even in a soulmates 101 class, nothing would happen till they were 16. THe teacher had droned on and on, most things had been happy if not uncomfortable, hormones would surge, you’d feel love, if you were separated the hormones would be harder to regulate, sometimes causing sadness, anger, or or other negative emotions, the usual conversation. However they were told that day about something else, being rejected by a soulmate.
If one person in the pair felt that the relationship needed to end, typically because of cheating or finding out their soulmate was a terrible person like a murderer or became abusive, that person could say the other persons name followed by I reject you as my soulmate. The bond would be severed. All the feely good soulmate hormones would react and drain away over a few days. Leaving both parties effectively soulmateless. It was very rare but it happened. Although even though the bond was broken sometimes the love was still there.
Red rejected him, Red severed their soulmate bond. Green wasn’t sure why he hadn’t seen this coming. Red deserved better than Green. Green was worthless. A piece of his soul had been taken away; the only good thing about him was Red. And now he didn’t even have that.
They arrived at the bottom of the mountain, arcanine cried, craning her neck to look at Green. He laid on her for a long moment, eyes shut tight wishing this was just a nightmare. At some point his survival instincts kicked in because he got off arcanine and pulled out pidgeot this time he directed it back to his private apartment.
He felt like a robot, getting off his pokemon, ignoring its worried looks, recalling it, unlocking his apartment door, walking in, closing it, not bothering to lock it, and he walked to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and dunked his head under it, the cool water knocking him awake again. He turned off the tap and looked at himself in the mirror.
He stared. He once thought himself handsome, charming, now he sees the truth, ugly and worthless. He punched his reflection. THe mirror shattered. Bits of broken glass stuck in his fingers. He couldn’t even feel them. He was numb. He pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink and went to work pulling the shards out, sometimes it would hurt and he’d revel in the pain. A self-punishment for who he was.
After he cleaned his hand and wrapped it with gauze he went to bed. Nightmares plagued him all night. Red’s words echoed over and over. The hormones rapidly changed in his body.
He woke up more tired than he’d been when he went to sleep. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and texted Delia:
He isn’t ready, he needs more time. Sorry.
He wrote out another text, one that would never get read. But he sent it anyway.
Red, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I know this isn’t enough. I was never a good friend or soulmate. You deserve someone better. I hope fate lets you find another soulmate, one who’s actually worth your affection. I wish it could be me. It’s strange, I thought when a soulmate was rejected all of the feelings stop, I guess it’s just another thing I failed at. I won’t reach out to you again. I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry. -Green
Green closed his eyes, he could feel a headache forming in the back of his head. He willed himself to get out of bed and get dressed. Somehow he managed it, he even managed to plaster a fake smile on his face and opened the gym. His trainers asked what was wrong, he just told them he was coming down with a cold. He worked the whole day, smile never reaching his eyes. His head was pounding and he was exhausted. He spent the night curled up with nightmares.
The morning came, his head still pounded, he felt like he hadn’t slept in days even though he’d gone to bed very early the night before, and now his body was aching. Maybe he was coming down with something, maybe he’d caught a cold from Mount Silver. He opened the gym anyway. As the day dragged on the worse he felt. He felt freezing, shivering even when fighting a battle with a fire type that raised the temp of the gym by several degrees, he could feel himself shaking. The chills.
There was one more battle scheduled for the day, Green could handle it, he’d go home, take some meds and call in sick the next day. Just one more battle. He shook hands with the young trainer and went to his spot to call on his team. The floor swayed beneath his feet, he thought he heard Silver say something, his body gave out and he crashed down into darkness.