Work Text:
it felt as if nothing had changed since he had departed when mika arrived back from yumenosaki to the itsuki residence. every vase was in its original place, and tasteful paintings stayed frozen on the walls. hallways were eerily empty as always, with shu’s relatives either off in their own rooms or away attending work. anxiety clawed at his fragile heart as he paced back and forth in front of his unit-mate’s room, glass of water in hand, wondering if entering would be a good idea or not. it had been days since they last had a conversation that wasn’t one-sided, but the terrifying thought of shu getting upset with him for entering without waiting for a response and disbanding valkyrie once and for all remained vivid in his mind. he pushed through, with a frail reassurance that the other’s well being was worth being left behind.
the lights were off, as usual. the glare that flooded in from the hallway stung shu’s eyes, and his grip on the mechanical pencil in his hand tightened in response before going limp, the metal barrel hitting the tiles with a clang. mika flinched at the sound, taking a wavering step forward after registering the noise as not of his doing.
no response.
was this a bad thing or was it not? on one hand, the sickening worry for his state, and on the other, the lack of disapproval. mika struggled to make his way next to shu, gingerly avoiding the scattered supplies and making sure not to step on mademoiselle. her typically pristine skirt was wet with tears, and she sat propped up next to a plate containing a half-eaten danish. good, at least he was able to get something down. his walk took more of a frantic pace as he noticed the pencil, setting the water down and quickly taking hold of it to set it off to the side, out of shu’s reach. he knew he was stupid, but he wasn’t entirely clueless.
mika took a seat next to shu and contemplated reaching out for the hand that poked out from under, quickly retracting his hand before the other could notice, though a barely audible sigh did come from under the blankets. the only thing he could do was try to initiate another conversation, though it was likely that his words would be met with that cold silence once again. and even still, he chose to speak.
“…heya, oshi-san. yer quiet as usual, huh? i’m glad i made it here fast, y'know? i thought i’d get stuck behind doin’ part time jobs again… but i made it!”
mika flashed a weak smile. the exhaustion from working was beginning to set it, but he had to get himself together, for the sake of valkyrie.
“thank ya fer gettin’ somethin’ to eat today, y'know? let’s try workin’ on gettin’ some water in too, alright? here, i gotcha a glass.”
he nervously reached for the cup of water again, careful to not spill the contents on anything. mika brought the edge up to the other’s lips, still with a gentle smile on his face as to try and reassure both of the them that it’d be alright. shu complied with the action, lifting a weight off of mika’s chest, and the two sat in silence for a bit longer.
“so… not much to tell ya today. work was as usual, y'know? i’m gonna try and get ya a croissant tomorrow after school, so yer fine to hold me up to that promise! i dunno which bakery we usually go to though… i kinda sorta forgot the name, ehehe…”
tired eyes met tired eyes, and mika’s gaze softened.
“ya look real exhausted, ya know? ya need ta get some sleep, oshi-san. i, uh, i’ll be goin’ now, i gotta finish up schoolwork. tell mado-nee i said hi, ‘kay? and, just… text me if ya need somethin’…”
the last line came out more like a desperate plea. “please, just say somethin’ to me again…”, but words were choked down again as they always were. mika began to get back up and dusted himself off, preparing to go back to his room to get homework done. he wouldn’t end up getting anything finished, though; he’d be worrying himself sick like he did every other day. he took a step towards the door before catching a movement in the corner of his eye, turning around to investigate what happened. mika’s eyes widened at the sight of a meek hand reaching out for him from under the purple blanket. still no words.
“…oshi-san? i dunno what ya mean… do ya want me to stay here with ya tonight?”
a slight nod was all it took for mika to be right back at shu’s side, initially keeping a distance. lavender eyes silently pleaded blue and gold to come closer, and so, mika obliged. he cautiously moved the blankets to fit around both of them and sat cautiously, unsure of what to do next. he offered a hand to the other, with shu taking hold of it after a moment of hesitation. mika smiled warmly at the gesture, giving a comforting squeeze in respond.
the awkwardness of the quietness had begun to subside, swapping for a more cozy solace. mika kept his eyes open as shu’s closed, his heartbeat echoing through the uncharacteristically messy room. the evening’s fatigue set in, and the two sat and rested together in silence. shu let his head fall onto mika’s shoulder and mika lifted his own hand to stroke that ever-familiar pink hair, as if were the most natural thing in the world. a few tears spilled between the two; one of them crying from feeling the unexpected comfort and the second crying out of joy, simply content that the other had finally mustered enough energy to do something. the moment was short lived, with sniffles subsiding after mere minutes. words cut through the silence, slipping out of mika’s mouth as if he’d been waiting for years to say them.
“i’m so glad yer still here, oshi-san… i love ya.”
the lack of response that followed did nothing to ease mika’s heart, and he froze up. if he had just said the wrong thing, this could be it, and he’d either be met with more silence or with the frigid stab of being told that it was not a mutual feeling. there was a slight tremor of the hand, mika almost being horrified at his own words, before he snapped his gaze back to shu’s face, which now donned a pair of almost-quivering lips. he waited, begging that perhaps the other hadn’t heard his offhanded confession, though that thought was quickly dispelled by a quiet, hoarse voice, one that he hadn’t heard in days yet wanted to listen to once more.
“i… love you too, kagehira.”