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"Hotch. I know this probably isn't the right place to talk about this,"
..."But, I want you to be my Dom."
Hotch assesses Spencer carefully, and in the way Spencer hands had joined upon the table, his long fingers twisting nervously, Hotch sensed that there was slightly more to the admission that he wasn't saying, and he waited, knowing that the answer would come to him momentarily.
"I want you to be my Dom…officially." Spencer finally comes out with and his eyes roam over Hotch's face, mapping out every micro-expression, but nothing gives him or his thoughts away to him.
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Hotch chose his words wisely. In reality, and a little selfishly at that, he hoped that Spencer truly meant what he'd spoken to him. But he needed to be certain.
"Of course I'm sure, Hotch. I trust you. And you've already proven to me that you can take care of me how I need. A-and statistically, Submissives function thirty-five percent better with a stable Dominant to keep them tethered. I know you, Hotch, and I know that you are what I need. And I—I think you might need me too." Spencer rambles, his last words coming out as a mere muttered breath.
"Spencer…" Hotch trails off from Spencer's name, for once, he's unsure what to say. Spencer had hit the nail on the head with his last conjecture.
"Oh god. Have I gotten this all wrong? I am so sorry. Just, forget I said all that. This is highly unprofessional of me—" Spencer panics, shame and embarrassment written all over his face and Hotch needs to stop him before this gets too out of hand.
"Spencer, stop." Hotch halts Spencer's spew of panicked ramble instantly, the command settling the man visibly, though his hands were shaking a little. Hotch reaches across the table and takes Spencer's hands within his own, the hold gentle, but grounding at the same time.
"You haven't got it wrong. That's one thing that I find so great about you, is that even without knowing it, you're always right. I would certainly like to be your Dom, Spencer, if you'll be my Sub." Hotch admits, hoping that his expression comes across as earnest as his words were.
After Haley, he hadn't negotiated with another Sub before Spencer, and it was more nerve-wracking than he'd like, but for Spencer's sake, and a little of his own, he needed to remain the steady and controlled presence here, no matter how fast his heart was currently beating.
"Yes! I mean, yes, I'd like that very much." A wide and bright smile breaks out across Spencer's face as he announces the words and Hotch lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, a small, relieved grin of his own rising to his lips.
"Alright then." Hotch spoke with a brief nod and he glanced over at the rest of the team, some were stirring awake and others were getting ready for landing.
"We'll continue this conversation properly once we land, I'd prefer we talk somewhere more private." Hotch says quietly, giving a squeeze to Spencer's hands before letting them go, allowing Spencer to pull his hands out of his already loose grip, albeit reluctantly, like the other didn't actually want to let go.
"Okay. I'd better get back to my seat. Morgan's going to want someone to bother now that he can't talk to Garcia." Spencer says flippantly, though there was a bright, fond smile that adorned his face. Hotch chuckles despite himself.
"Of course. When you're ready, do you wanna meet me in my office and we could grab some dinner?" Hotch asks as Spencer moves to stand, and Spencer beams at him and nods.
"Yeah. Yes, I'd like that."
—
Spencer had finally finished his reports and by now, everyone but Hotch has left the building.
It was Garcia and Morgan's date night and they're having a night in together. Emily and JJ were headed home and Rossi was headed to a bar to meet with possible wife number 4.
It was around 7:45pm, early for most days after a case, and Spencer grabbed his satchel and the finished reports before making his way up the steps to Hotch's office.
The door was left slightly ajar, and he takes a deep breath before knocking gently upon the enforced wood with his knuckle three times. Hotch responds immediately with a brief and simple "Come in." in lieu of invitation.
Spencer pushes the door open cautiously, although there was no reason for it.
Hotch looks up from the paperwork on his desk, the hard lines in his face softening faintly once he caught sight of Spencer, and Spencer takes that as his cue to gently close the door behind himself, even though the bullpen was near empty.
"Hey." Hotch's voice breaks through the moment of silence while Spencer shuffles across the room over to Hotch's desk.
"Hi. Uh, here are those reports. I see you've still got a few." Spencer assesses verbally as he places his small stack of reports upon Hotch's desk.
"I'll be finished up in a few minutes if you're alright with waiting in here for me?"
"Sure. I'll just read or something. Take your time."
Spencer takes a seat on the couch, just as he had those few days ago, pulling out a book he'd already read at least twenty times over, but it was either that or be stuck in his own head where there's the possibility of him spurting out useless information to pass the time.
They sat together in comfortable silence; the only sounds that filled the room were mere scratches of pen across paper and the swift and frequent turning of pages.
Spencer would be lying if he said he was actually paying attention to the book in his hands. He found himself looking up more often than not, watching Hotch's deft fingers grip the pen he was holding in his left hand, moving expertly across the paper.
Spencer recalls very clearly how those very same fingers were wrapped around his wrists just hours prior, enclosing around them with firm and calculated pressure.
Hotch knew exactly how to calm him without any words having to be uttered and Spencer just cannot stop thinking about that.
Eventually, Spencer was snapped out of his mindless reading—of which really was just Spencer staring at Hotch's hands, then staring blankly back at the pages he was flipping every couple seconds to hopefully allude to his unnatural abilities and not that he wasn't actually taking in the words at all.
Hotch had placed down his pen, closing the very last file before leaning back in his chair, rolling his shoulders to remove the ache that lingered there, and Spencer found his gaze drifting towards the motion, eyeing the way Hotch's suit jacket bunches and creases at the strain of the material.
His eyes drift up to Hotch's face to find him looking back at him, a small flicker of amusement lacing his normally sharp features, softening them. Spencer awkwardly clears his throat, his cheeks flushing wildly and he tears his eyes away from the man, staring down at the floor.
"Sorry." Spencer apologises for his blatant staring.
"You're forgiven." Hotch replies with a deep chuckle, clearly amused by the ordeal, Spencer lifts his gaze to glare at the older, though there was no real heat behind it, especially when faced with those soft brown eyes he'd only managed to meet scarcely.
He could count the amount of times on one hand. Not that he needed to; his eidetic memory would recall them in at least a tenth of the amount of time it would take for him to raise his fingers.
"Are you ready to get going?" Hotch asks, breaking Spencer out of his brief reverie.
"Yeah, yes, definitely, let's go." The words fly out of Spencer's mouth all in quick succession as he stands up from the couch, shoving his book back into his bag, almost racing to the office door.
Hotch huffs out a laugh, shaking his head fondly as he stands from his chair.
"Let's get going then."
—
Hotch had driven them a few miles out to a niche little Indian restaurant, the one that Spencer had been attempting to get the team to go to for months, and as they pulled into the carpark out front, Spencer was unconsciously bouncing in his seat, a happy smile brightening his features and his eyes glittering under the luminescent yellow tinge of the streetlamps overhead.
"This is one of the best restaurants in the DC area, its run by a nice Indian family and has been here for nineteen years but its still classed as a small restaurant despite its popularity due to the area its located and the fact that it's pretty much a hole-in-the wall restaurant and not a chain restaurant." Spencer gushes, rambling excitedly about the restaurant across from them before stopping abruptly with a wince.
"Sorry. I uh, tend to ramble a lot when I'm excited." Spencer apologised unnecessarily and a small frown rises to Hotch's lips at Spencer's blatant insecurity. He knew that sometimes Spencer would go off on tangents while on a case and they'd have to redirect him.
Sometimes, Hotch admits that he nor some of the team were all that kind about it. Of course he'd be insecure about it, who wouldn't be after being cut off from talking about something you're genuinely interested in.
"Don't apologise for being happy, Spencer. And, for the record, I actually like hearing you ramble. Never feel like you have to stop yourself for my sake. I apologise if I'd made you feel otherwise." Hotch assures, completely earnest in his words.
"I—thank you, Hotch." Spencer smiles gratefully back at him.
"Aaron. If we're doing this, we're not Reid and Hotch, we're just Spencer and Aaron." Hotch explains and Spencer nods seriously.
"Okay, thank you, Aaron." Spencer replied, correcting his previous statement with a small smile and Hotch can't help but smile back. How could you not when faced with this pretty ray of sunshine.
"That's alright, Spencer, I meant it. Ramble as much as you like." Hotch promises.
"Lets go inside?" Spencer suggests.
"Of course."
They both exit the car and make their way into the restaurant, and despite the time, it was relatively empty; there were a few couples, and a couple families spread throughout the room. The walls were decorated in a litany of golds, reds, and browns, adding a warm tone to the space.
They're greeted by a young woman who looks to be in her mid twenties, a daughter of the family. Spencer and Hotch greet her kindly and she leads them over to a two seat table by the back wall and hands them both a menu and leaves them with a promise to be back in a few minutes to take their drink orders.
"Do you like it?" Spencer asks, referring to the atmosphere that surrounded them as well as the general aesthetics.
"Yes, it's a nice environment, very cosy. I'm sure the food will be just as good."
"Oh it is, trust me." Spencer promised.
"I'll take your word for it." Hotch wouldn't doubt a word that Spencer says.
Once they've gotten their drinks—just a lemonade for Spencer and a glass of water for Hotch—and they've ordered their meals, Hotch decides that this would be the best time to talk about their earlier conversation on the Jet while they wait for their food, only Spencer manages to get in there before him.
"So you mentioned that we'd talk about, you know, what we spoke about on the jet, a-and i know this isn't exactly a private place, but maybe we can discuss, just a little?" Spencer attempts to suggest in a flippant manner, but the nervousness was clear in his stiff frame and slightly wavering voice.
"I was actually just about to say the same thing, except, maybe with a little less words." Hotch teased lightly, clearing a good amount of tension as Spencer rolled his eyes playfully at him.
"So we can talk?" Spencer reiterates.
"Only if you're comfortable with that. There won't be any sexual talk, but there's always a chance to change that at a later date." Spencer nearly chokes on his drink at the unspoken implications of Hotch's words but he quickly pulls himself together. They're both adults here, and this was a civil conversation about negotiating a dom/sub relationship.
Though he admits that he wouldn't be opposed to a sexual relationship with the older man, he'd rather they took this as slow as they could. This was relatively new to Spencer.
He hadn't had a Dominant since he and Ethan back in Las Vegas, and even that wasn't totally official, just a friend helping a friend, until Ethan got a proper sub of his own.
"T-that's fine. What should we start with?" Spencer asks, and Hotch tilts his head just slightly, eyebrows twitching as if in an aborted attempt to join. Spencer shifts in his seat. Did he say something wrong?
"You haven't had a proper negotiation before." Hotch states not unkindly, and a blush rises to Spencer's cheeks. He was twenty-six years old and has never had a Dominant, he was allowed to feel mildly embarrassed by the fact.
"No. I've read a little about the etiquette, but I didn't want to spoil it for when I managed to find a Dominant of my own." Spencer admits, feeling a little ashamed that for once he wasn't thoroughly educated in something.
"Spencer, it's okay not to know something. I'll just guide you through it, alright?"
"Please." Spencer breathed out, thankful for Hotch's ability to actually take the reins.
"You're aware of the colour system, correct?" Hotch asks, leaning back in his seat, relaxing a little.
"Yes; Green for 'everything's okay', Yellow for 'slow down or pause and discuss', and Red for 'stop immediately'." Spencer relays and Hotch nods approvingly.
"Yes. I need to know whether you have any other safewords you'd like to use while in a scene, or even at any point otherwise, verbal and non-verbal."
"'Azalea' for verbal, and snapping for non-verbal."
"Perfect, good choices. What are your hard limits?" Hotch asks outright, and Spencer clears his throat, before answering.
"No metal handcuffs, no gags, no knives or guns, no verbal humiliation, no using silence as punishment, and no suspension or full body bondage." Spencer lists off and Hotch smiles reassuringly at him.
"Thank you for telling me, we'll write all of this up into a contract when we're finished, of course."
"If you need any help remembering, you know I won't be able to forget anything." Spencer jokes lightly with a small laugh, though it wasn't self-deprecating as it tended to be when Spencer speaks about his abilities, just fact.
"I'm counting on it." Hotch gives a laugh of his own before they sober up enough to continue the conversation.
"My hard limits also include the majority of those, and I would never give you a punishment without discussing it with you first to ensure that it's fair, and I would never make you be silent, you have my word." Hotch spoke in seriousness and Spencer was grateful that Hotch was never one to beat around the bush. He was always straight up with him. He needed that.
"I trust you. I know that you would only do what you think is best for me." Spencer declared and that soft look returned to Hotch's face, allowing him to appear almost younger. It was a good look on him. Not so rough around the edges.
"I'm glad. I trust you too. I'd like you to tell me some things that you like, for example what helps you into subspace easiest?" Hotch continues, taking a sip of his water.
"Well, whenever I'm alone, I like to kneel by my bed with my hands behind my back and close my eyes. I don't fall into subspace often with another person there, but the times that i have were with Morgan and on a few occasions, JJ. The things that I liked the most were praise, having my hair played with, reassurance and direct commands."
"That's all very good. Could you expand a bit on what you mean by 'direct commands'?"
"I prefer being given commands when it comes to the mindset as it makes it easier for me to only focus on the task i've been commanded, whereas if i'm given a suggestion, it tends to lead me to overthinking the outcomes. Decisions are difficult, so, i-i'd prefer to almost completely give over control to someone else so they can decide for me."
"I thought as much. I can do that for you."
"I'd like that." Spencer nods. Spencer was used to Unit Chief Hotch giving orders, but there was a much different edge to Aaron giving him orders. The tone was smoother, deeper almost. It was amazing how Hotch could separate the two.
"Good. Now, rules and punishment. We can think of more specific rules as we go, but I have three non-negotiable rules that I'd expect you, as well as myself, to conform to." Hotch informs.
"Of course." Spencer inclined his head in agreement.
"Firstly; No putting yourself in unnecessary danger, especially without informing me beforehand. Second; No lying, even lying through omission, this will only work if we're honest with each other, and thirdly; Always talk to me if and when you have something you want to say, don't hold back. Communication is one of the most important things above trust. Breaking any of these rules on purpose, will result in a punishment. Do you understand the rules, Spencer?" Hotch spoke in a tone that provided no argument, and Spencer relays the rules a few more times within his mind before he answers.
"Yes, I understand."
"I know you'll remember all of that, but I'd like you to repeat them back to me, please." Hotch directs softly.
"No putting myself in unnecessary danger, No lying, and always talk to you if and when I have something to say, no holding back." Spencer repeated, not word for word, but summarised neatly.
"Very good. Just one last thing and we can continue on with dinner as normal. Honorifics. You don't need to call me anything formal, I'm fine with Aaron. But if you'd wish to call me something I'd prefer you call me 'Sir'. The only title I'd like you not to use is 'Master', it's not really my thing." Hotch disclosed with a small huff of a laugh at his last admission.
"That's perfectly fine by me. I'll just refrain from calling you 'Sir' at work. We all call you Hotch anyway, so it probably won't be much of an issue." Spencer shrugs.
"Of course. That reminds me. Would you be comfortable with us informing the team of this? I won't say anything without your permission, but I may need to discuss a small amount with Strauss, but I'm sure there wouldn't be any issues." Hotch asks, this was as much Spencer's decision as it was his own, even as the Unit Chief.
"I think I'd like it if we had a couple weeks to get used to the new relationship, but after that, I think it would be beneficial to tell the team. I know they'd have no quarrels about it. Em and JJ are together and so are Garcia and Morgan, but I'd still like just some time with just us. You know how many questions we'll get from Garcia and Morgan." Spencer answers, and Hotch returns his knowing look.
Garcia and Morgan were the vultures of personal business, but it was all in good nature. And Spencer loved them all the same.
"I think that's for the best." Hotch chuckled.
The young lady that served them had returned with their meals and soon they were diving their food as well as diving into conversation about the origins of Indian food and why spices are used in most dishes.
Or really, Spencer was excitedly rattling off a litany of facts and Hotch was enabling him through asking more questions.
All in all, it was the greatest evening either man had had. But there was certainly still much more to come.