Chapter Text
“Hey Celia,” Dean said into his phone.
“Hey Dean, how are you doing since … everything?”
“I’m fine,” Dean lied. “Look, before you start getting all touchy-feely with me, I was wondering if you’d work a case with Sam and me?”
“Will I get any goo on me?”
“Unlikely, but it’s weird. This guy was drawn and quartered in his apartment, no hex bags, no sulfur.”
“Huh, can witches do that without hex bags?”
“Maybe, I dunno,” Dean said with a sigh.
“Doesn’t sound like anything I’m specifically versed in, why do you want my help?”
“We, uh, we’ve had a rough couple of weeks. Sam, he walked away from Amelia for me,” Dean said in earnest. “I feel like shit C. I guess I just wanted something to make him happy.”
“And you think that’s me?” Celia said in disbelief.
“Maybe, I think he trusts you. I think he likes having you around, I know I do.”
“Well as long as we aren’t getting touchy-feely,” Celia teased. “Yeah I’ll come, I don’t know if you got my message but, my family's gotten a lot smaller, and even Rhonda and Sue want to go soon,” Celia said with sadness.
“Yeah, I got your message. I’m sorry C.”
“Hm,” Celia cleared her throat, “all that to say, I am not home. I actually am on a road trip right now, trying to clear my head. So your timing is perfect.”
Celia was a few hours away and Dean couldn’t help but smile. He needed this, needed a change of pace. He hung up the phone with a soft smile.
Sam walked up then, “Hey, who was that?”
“Um, Celia,” Dean said truthfully.
“What’s she up to?”
“Her, her old folks have been wanting to do the natural death thing. The last couple just told her they wanted to go out the old-fashioned way, so she’s not doing great.”
“That sucks,” Sam said.
“Yeah, I told her she should join us,” Dean looked up at Sam.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, she’s just a few hours away.”
“Well it will be good to see her,” Sam said with a smile.
“Yeah, I think so too.”
As they headed into the police station Dean sent Celia a quick text to be sure she’d say she was coming because of her family stuff and not his when she got here. She replied immediately.
C: Of course, Dean. Wouldn’t want Sam to think you have FEELINGS.
C: jk jk I love you.
DEAN: Love you too.
C: <3
Dean put his phone away and caught up with Sam.
…
“We need all the help we can get Dean, people are dying,” Sam said.
Celia appeared behind Dean and said, “Isn’t that why I’m here?”
“Celia!” Dean smiled and turned around to hug her.
Sam frowned at being interrupted but went to hug her as well. “Good to see you,” he said.
“I’ve missed you guys!” Celia looked at the redhead and lost her breath.
Dean noticed and pushed her toward Charlie.
“Charlie this is our friend, Celia, Celia this is Charlie,” Dean made the introductions.
“Hi,” Celia managed.
“Hi,” Charlie smiled at her.
“I didn’t know you guys had friends,” Charlie said to the boys.
“Ha ha very funny,” Dean said.
“So, as I was saying,” Sam started, “Charlie knows Moondoor best we need her help.”
“And as I was saying, she should get somewhere safe,” Dean replied.
“Hey, I’m right here. And I want to go, but the queen, the queen has to stay. Sam’s right, people are dying and that can’t happen on my watch. And you know what? I’m tired of running,” Charlie said. “I like my life here, I want to stay and fight for it.”
“Okay, then. Celia,” Dean said, “you stay with her.”
“Okay,” Celia said way too quickly. She scolded herself internally.
“Is that okay Charlie?” Sam asked.
“Yes,” Charlie said, also too quickly.
…
Dean and Celia changed into their Moondoor-appropriate outfits while Dean caught Charlie up on everything that had been happening. Celia listened sadly as Dean told Charlie that you can’t afford attachments in this life. She recalled their meeting (fight) when he got back from purgatory.
“Dean, look at me,” Celia pleaded.
“What?” he said with a growl and tears welling up in his eyes. “I left him, Celia." Dean got quieter," I, I left him there."
“Dean, it’s not all on you,” Celia started.
“The hell it ain’t!”
“Dean, I can feel what you’re feeling. I don’t have the context, but if you, if you keep torturing yourself like this, you’re not going to survive.”
Good, he thought.
“I want you to survive. I know Sam wants you to survive. I want you to want to survive,” Celia looked at him with big eyes.
Dean couldn’t believe that she’d read him that easily. This tiny person who he barely knew. He couldn’t believe they were having this deep conversation, but she’d been there for them. Every time they asked. She showed up. She came when Sam's head was messed up. She came when they went against Dick. She showed up for them, so he tried to show up now.
“I don’t know how,” he said.
“You have to have someone to be soft around, to show your love with, to be kind to yourself in front of,” Celia said. She thought of Cas. She knew Cas was that for Dean, even if he wasn’t kind to himself in front of Cas. She knew Cas had softened him before … before Cas fucked it up and hurt Sam.
“I don’t, I don’t have that, I’ve never had that,” Dean let the tears fall. He looked down and just cried. He didn’t care that Celia was there. He just hurt.
He felt small arms wrap around him tightly and he leaned into the touch, allowing himself to be comforted. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt comforted.
“If you can be like this with me, I will be here for you,” Celia said gently as she ran her hand through Dean’s hair.
“I can’t, I can’t ask you to do that,” Dean said.
“You’re not asking Dean, I’m offering.”
Ever since then Dean had shown her his softer sides and she held up her end of the bargain, not letting on that she’d seen him cry, and not telling Sam about their secret ‘pitty parties’ as Dean called them. She’d comforted him, she’d held him, she’d made him listen to her, in his words, ‘shitty pop playlists.’ It was the most reciprocal relationship Celia had gotten since her parents died, and though it broke her heart to see how hurt Dean was, how many layers of repressed shit he had to deal with, it filled her bucket that he trusted her with it all.
And now, seeing him so casually cruel to himself and his brother, and retelling it to Charlie like it didn’t matter, she was finding it hard not to hug him.
“You just gotta … let go,” Dean said.
“Are we still talking about Sam or did you break up with someone too?” Charlie asked.
When Dean reflexively said no, she broke. Celia marched over to Dean and threw her arms around his neck. He was surprised for a second, then angry, then softened. He made a deal with Celia, when he asked her to be there she was, and when she asked him to be open he was. And right now, though he didn’t like doing it in front of Charlie, he needed a hug. He felt silly, he hadn’t broken up with anyone. But when Charlie asked that for some reason, that he was not ready to look at too closely, he thought of Cas. Of leaving him behind. Celia got that and acted on impulse, and he couldn’t stay mad at her for sensing what he needed and giving it to him.
He patted her back and said, “Okay.”
She took the hint and let go, scanning his eyes to make sure that it was okay. Satisfied with what she saw, she stepped back.
As they exited the tent, Celia took the lead. She didn’t know where they were going, but she knew Charlie wanted to talk to Dean so she gave them some space.
“So,” Charlie started once she thought Celia was out of earshot, “what was that about no attachments?”
Dean smirked, “Yeah Celia … she’s just kinda been there.”
“So are you two,” Charlie wiggled her eyebrows.
“Wha–No! No, we’re just friends. Weirdest friendship I’ve ever had,” Dean said with a smile, “but strictly platonic.”
“Good to know,” Charlie said as she watched the woman ahead of them walking aimlessly.