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Jamie opens the door slowly and gets in as quietly as he can, feeling slightly disappointed when he finds the lights of the living room off. He was hoping to find Roy awake, but no such luck as it seems.
Roy told him to come over no matter how late it was and Jamie was hesitant at first, not wanting to be a bother, but Roy's look didn't leave much space for Jamie to protest. Not that he wanted to. This thing between them is still quite new and they don't spend every night together or anything, so it wouldn't be weird for Jamie to get back to his own house after he and the lads finished at Sam's restaurant, but well it's been a fucking day so Jamie's quite grateful that Roy insisted.
He takes a quick shower in the guest bathroom so the noises won't wake Roy, before making his way to the bedroom.
He's surprised and glad and fucking relieved when he gets there and finds Roy in the bed with a book in his hands.
"You're awake," he says and he's smiling now, but his voice still comes out tired, small.
"Hey. Thought I'd wait for you," Roy says, putting the book aside on the nightstand as Jamie grabs himself a t-shirt from Roy's wardrobe.
"You didn't have to," Jamie replies and he truly means it, because Roy shouldn't have to stay up until late just for him, but at the same time Jamie's fucking selfish and he's glad Roy did.
He climbs into the bed and immediately moves close to Roy, almost settling on top of him. He generally tries not to be too needy or clingy, but right now he decides to let himself have this.
Roy all but welcomes him in his arms and he tilts Jamie's head slightly back so he can kiss his lips before letting Jamie settle there however he likes, his head resting on Roy's chest.
"How did it go?" Roy asks and his hand moves to Jamie's head, stroking his hair. Jamie relaxes under the gentle touch, feels the lingering tension of the day slowly leaving his body.
"Good, I think. We fixed most of it- well, everything we could at least. Sam came by with his dad though, so the surprise was kinda ruined. He did look pretty happy when he saw we all went to help," Jamie tells him and Roy hums, now his hand massaging the back of Jamie's neck.
"That was a good thing you did, all of you being there for him," Roy says, sounding proud of them, and he's obviously talking about the whole team, not Jamie specifically, but the words still make Jamie's chest bloom with warmth. "How's Sam?"
"Didn't really have a chance to talk to him," Jamie says, feeling slightly guilty for not trying harder to actually speak with Sam earlier today. It's just that he seemed to be in good hands, with his dad being there and Simi and everyone else, and Jamie didn't really think he had anything to offer. He hopes Sam doesn't think Jamie doesn't care about him, because it couldn't be further from the truth. "He seemed okay though, everything considered. He didn't stop smiling the whole time. You know Sam."
"Good," Roy says, apparently satisfied with Jamie's answer. "And how are you?"
It's not a strange question or something Roy's never asked him before, but right now Jamie can't help tensing. Roy's voice, a bit too careful, almost hesitant, makes Jamie think Roy's sort of already knows the answer.
"I'm fine, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" He tries, hoping Roy lets it go.
Roy of course doesn't.
"Jamie," Roy says patiently and Jamie burrows farther into Roy's chest, as if hoping to hide himself, to disappear. Unfortunately, he can't do that, but the movement does make Roy's arm tighten around him and that's really fucking nice.
"I, uh, I actually have a session tomorrow with Dr. Fieldstone," Jamie says after a long moment of silence, when he realises Roy's clearly waiting for him to speak. He doesn't know why, but he hadn't mentioned this to Roy until now, even though he's quite sure Roy's reaction will be positive. "So you don't have to worry about me or anything."
"That's good, baby. I'm very proud of you, you know that?" Roy tells him, his hand gently gripping Jamie's chin, making him tilt his head and meet his gaze. Which is quite unfortunate because Jamie's face is fucking burning right now. Jamie shakes his head 'no' at the question, because even though Roy's said it before, Jamie will probably never stop needing to hear it. Which is probably fucking pathetic, but Roy still indulges him. "I am. But I'm also still gonna fucking worry about you."
Jamie smiles at that and slightly sits up, so he can press a kiss to Roy's lips.
"I really am fine though. It ain't like something happened, yeah. Today was just weird," he says, shrugging his shoulder, trying to appear a bit more relaxed and casual than he feels. "Sam's dad appearing in the locker room-- I mean, it's stupid really, he's very, very nice and nothing like-- but it still fucked with me head a little. That's all."
He keeps thinking about how different it was when his dad appeared and he feels grateful for Roy somehow always being there for him, both back then in the fucking locker room in Wembley and also now. He can't help but wonder how different he'd be if his dad were like Sam's; if that'd make him more like Sam who's a good person and easy to love. Well, unless you're a fucking piece of shit bigot, obviously.
Jamie doesn't say any of that to Roy. Literally nothing happened to him and he's still making it a huge fucking deal; making it all about himself. He’s supposed to be better than this. "Anyway, it's stupid. I'm fine."
"Hey, it's not fucking stupid," Roy tells him, his voice somehow both firm and gentle. "You’re allowed to feel like this. And it fucking makes sense."
Jamie fucking doubts it, if he's honest. He'll see what the Doc has to say about it tomorrow. For now though that's more than enough serious talk, he feels fucking drained.
"Can we stop talking about it now? Please?" He says, hoping Roy doesn't take it the wrong way. Jamie trusts him and he truly appreciates Roy being there for him, but it's late and he's tired and he's feeling vulnerable and all he wants is some kisses and cuddles from Roy.
"Yes, of course," Roy says, definitely not sounding offended or anything. "What do you need?"
It took quite some time for Jamie to learn to say what he wants or needs and not think of himself as weak, just because he's asking for something. It's still not easy most of the time, but he's getting there. Dr. Sharon said so and she's always right, so.
"Just this. This is good," Jamie tells him, settling back on Roy's shoulder, and Roy wraps his arms around him, holding him and pressing a kiss to the top of Jamie's head.
Jamie doesn't know what he did to deserve any of this, but he feels really fucking grateful.
"Thank you," he says, clinging a bit tighter to Roy.
"Whatever the fuck for?" Roy asks, sounding like he genuinely doesn't understand how fucking amazing he is. Jamie makes a mental note to do some shopping tomorrow and order Roy a 'best boyfriend' mug that Roy will say he absolutely fucking hates and then never use another mug ever again.
He smiles, but doesn't actually answer Roy's question, just nuzzles into Roy's neck and places a lingering kiss there. And maybe that's good enough of an answer for Roy because he hums and tightens his hold around Jamie, as if trying to make sure Jamie's not going anywhere.
Jamie definitely isn’t. He’s planning to stay for as long as Roy will have him.