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It had been nearly a year since Inej had sailed out of Ketterdam to carry out her dream of hunting all slavers that traveled the True Sea. In that year, she’d made a name for herself that reached from the northern tip of Fjerda to the Southern Colonies.
She was most known in Ketterdam, where the people either loved or hated her. Many brothels had been shut down, one of them being the Menagerie, unable to acquire “indentures”. The merchers, especially the ones who had frequented the pleasure houses in secret or profited off them, were furious at the “pirate bitch” who had taken away their entertainment. Wylan had told Kaz once that he often had to hold in laughter every time the Merchant Council talked about capturing her. “It’s ridiculous,” the redhead had said, chuckling. “Catching her is like trying to catch the wind. It’s just plain impossible.”
On the other hand, most of the commoners and workers in Ketterdam spoke of her with awe on their faces and reverence in their tones. Kaz had even heard the words “Sankta Inej” and “Saint of the Seas”. Every time he heard her name, every time he saw the wanted posters calling for her arrest (the price grew every day), a bubble of pride would blossom in his chest.
Kaz was glad that she was achieving her dream. He was glad that she was so successful. He was glad that she had found her calling. But, despite everything, his chest ached. He’d never admit it to anyone, not even Jesper, but even Kaz could not deny this one truth.
Dirtyhands missed his Wraith.
It wasn’t just because his replacement spiders weren’t as good at being invisible as she was, nor was it that he no longer had a shadow watching his back from the rooftops as he stalked the streets. No, it was because he missed hearing her laugh, missed seeing her sitting in his window as she fed those pesky crows (they still gathered by the window, demanding he feed them), missed going on stake-outs with her by his side. He missed the warmth that filled his chest whenever he saw her smile. He missed walking up to his office and knowing that she was there, waiting to tell him what whispers she’d heard or simply sitting in contented silence while he worked.
Kaz thought about all those things as he made his way up the stairs of the Slat, headed to his office. He had a lot of paperwork to go through; he would likely be up all night. When he finally reached his door, he froze.
It can’t be, he thought. It’s just the aftermath of what I was thinking about. His traitorous, hopeful heart sped up, knowing that presence, the presence he hadn’t felt in a year.
He took a deep, steadying breath before he slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, his heart racing in anticipation and hope. His eyes went immediately to the open window, the window he knew he’d closed- and locked- before he’d left earlier that day. He turned to his desk and sucked in a sharp breath of air.
She was just as he remembered, albeit dressed in clothes that proclaimed her profession. Her hair was braided into a tight rope hanging off his desk chair's side. Her chest rose and fell evenly as she slept, curled up into a ball.
Gently, he shut the door as quietly as possible, making sure not to disturb her. She stirred but didn’t wake. For a long while he just stood there, letting the surprise of her arrival sink in. He hadn’t expected her to return at all, much less return to the Slat. He would have stood there all night, but his leg was already howling from his long day. Reluctantly, he pried his eyes away from her sleeping form and walked into his bedroom. There was no point in trying to get any work done; his mind was too distracted. Instead, he climbed into bed and closed his eyes, trying to make his mind stop dancing in circles.
It was a long time before he fell asleep.
___
When Kaz walked into his office, Inej was gone. He ignored the slight twang of disappointment and sat at his desk (In the same chair she’d slept in, his foolish mind shouted gleefully) and started on the paperwork he should have gotten done the night before.
For hours he worked, running numbers and planning future heists. He was so involved in what he was doing that he didn’t notice it at first. Then it hit him and his head shot up. Inej! His heart cheered and he forced himself to keep a straight face as she picked the lock on his window and slipped through.
“It’s been a year,” she said, amused. “And I still can’t sneak up on you, Kaz.”
He had forgotten how much he liked hearing her say his name, the way it rolled off her tongue. I missed that, too, he thought before he could stop himself. “Hello, Inej,” he said, forcing himself to look back down at the papers on his desk. What was I doing again? Inej’s arrival had made him forget what he had been doing just minutes ago. "What business?"
She huffed a laugh. “You haven’t changed a bit, Kaz,” she said.
He cast a short glance up at her and saw that she had parked herself in his window and was gazing out over Ketterdam. It was just like old times when he had sat at his desk working and she had sat in the spot Kaz now thought of as hers. Stop it, he snarled silently. Stop thinking those things.
She continued talking, not taking her eyes off the sprawling city. “As much as I love being on the sea, I missed Ketterdam.” She chuckled. “Well, not the city, exactly. More like the people that live here.” She didn’t elaborate as she closed her eyes and leaned against the window frame.
A few minutes went by and Kaz found it impossible to tear his gaze away from Inej, the woman who he’d missed so fiercely. The sea had treated her well, making her even more beautiful, if that was even possible. No! he scolded himself angrily. You are Dirtyhands, the most feared boss in the Barrel. You have no room in your blackened heart to entertain such notions! But, despite his best efforts, the thoughts still whirled in his mind, sighing about how perfect, how beautiful, how amazing she was. Her knives glinted in the sunlight, reminding him that she was just as dangerous as she was lovely.
“Is there a reason you’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes, Kaz Brekker?” She didn’t open her eyes, nor did she turn.
He said the words without thinking, without looking away from her. “You’re beautiful.” Immediately, horror flooded him. Ghezen damn him and his foolish thoughts, his stupid fantasies! Why why why had he let those words slip through the armor he had so carefully built, so carefully maintained?
Her eyes snapped open and her head whipped around to look at him. She looked shocked, her eyes wide and her lips parted in surprise.
“Inej, I- I-” Kaz fought for the words to recover, to make his previous statement useless, but his brain refused to give them to him. “I didn’t mean to say that-”
“You didn’t?” Her voice was soft, her eyes latched onto his. “Did you mean it?”
Ghezen damn me, he thought again. There would be no recovering from what he’d so foolishly let slip. And…part of him didn’t want to. Part of him wanted to confess that he’d missed her, confess that she had become much more than an investment. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He tried again. “Yes,” he whispered.
She blinked, obviously not expecting him to be so honest. “Kaz-”
“I meant it, and I missed you,” he said quietly, saying the words before he could back out.
“You did?”
He nodded. “I missed you every day. Of course, all the reminders around this city helped.” At her raised eyebrow, he said, “People talk about you all the time and you’ve got wanted posters all over the place.”
Inej threw her head back and laughed, making Kaz’s heart stop for a few seconds. “That’s great,” she said. “What is the reward for my capture?”
Kaz grinned. “Fifty thousand kruge,” he said. “And it goes up almost every day.”
“Good to know I’ve gotten under their skin,” she chuckled. Then the smile faded and she turned serious. “You truly missed me?” He nodded and she let out a soft breath. “I was afraid that I was the only one who missed… what we had.”
“No,” Kaz breathed. “Not at all, Treasure.” Again, his thoughts had managed to slip past his filter. He felt his face flush. Treasure? Seriously, Brekker?
She smiled. “I like that name,” she said. “Almost as much as I like that blush.”
He knew his cheeks darkened even more because she started laughing. Her laugh made him forget his embarrassment and he found himself grinning, carried by the brightness of her lovely laugh.
“You know,” Inej said once she had gotten her laughter under control. “You’re not too bad-looking yourself, Mr. Brekker.” She winked. “And I like it when you don’t filter your words with me. It lets me see the sappy softie under that hard exterior.”
He frowned. “I am not a ‘sappy softie’,” he protested.
“That pout says otherwise, Kaz.” She snickered. “Who knew the feared Bastard of the Barrel had a pouty face?”
He pointed a finger at her. “Don’t you dare tell a soul, Captain Ghafa.”
“When have I ever told your secrets, Kaz?”
Another smile twitched on his lips. “Not once.”
“Exactly.” She turned back to the window. A few minutes went by, then she said, “Kaz?”
“Yes, Inej?”
“Thank you for the compliment.” She opened one eye and studied him. “Don’t let it become a one-time thing.”
“Anything for you, my Treasure.”