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Doppo trudged to his apartment after yet another long day of endless mountains of paperwork. He felt as if his legs would give out at any second, and he shivered from the bite of icy cold gusts of wind. He glanced towards the streets, not really paying much attention to the honking of cars and distinct chatter of fellow civilians walking alongside him.
Doppo sighed as he watched people speed by in their vehicles, wishing he could just jump in front of them. Well, that would just make him even shittier than he already is, he chastised himself bitterly, since Hifumi was most likely cooking up a grand dinner this very second.
Hifumi really didn’t need to be wasting his time cooking up meals for a waste of air like Doppo, and he really couldn’t decipher why he did. Doppo has mentioned countless times that he could just eat instant ramen and easily microwavable food items for dinner just to save Hifumi the trouble, but of course Hifumi scolded him for that, like usual.
“I’m gonna cook you super yummy Hifu-style meals every single day whether you like it or not! …Well, ehehe… I’m hoping you like it... But anyway, I don’t want my Doppochin going hungry! Things like instant ramen aren’t enough! That’s terrible for you to eat every day! Not to mention, it can’t beat my cooking… right? Right?!”
Doppo smiled as he recalled Hifumi’s little tangent-fit, whilst mentally replying to him, well of course it can’t beat your cooking. Doppo could never say that to Hifumi’s face though, because one, it’d embarrass the hell out of him, and two, it might raise Hifumi’s already-high-enough ego, and he’d freak out over it. There was one specific thing that stood out to him though, and now that thought wouldn’t go away.
The fact that Hifumi always referred to Doppo as his. Why would Hifumi ever refer to Doppo in such a way? He can’t think of any reason or intent behind it, except perhaps Hifumi is saving the rest of the world from having to put up with Doppo’s bullshit.
Doppo nodded to himself, thinking that’s definitely the only logical explanation. A part of him did wish, however, that Hifumi genuinely wanted Doppo the way Doppo wanted him. Despite being constantly annoyed by Hifumi and acting seemingly irritated all of the time, Doppo truly did love him. He has always struggled with expressing his emotions and how he feels, especially with his demeanor, whereas Hifumi was bright and always said exactly what he thought, whether it be his feelings or literally anything else.
Despite their nearly opposite personalities, they got along so perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle perfectly put together. Doppo shook his head, realizing he needs to focus on getting home before he freezes to death (which has almost happened a couple times before).
Thinking about Hifumi had made him forget, but God, the fatigue came at him all at once, and all he wanted to do was pass out on his bed. His legs felt like jelly, and he felt a migraine coming on.
Getting closer… he thought. His vision did fog up every couple of seconds, which had him stopping to breathe and steady himself. Should he call Hifumi or Dr. Jakurai? No, he didn’t want to trouble them any more than he usually does, and that would be incredibly pathetic, possibly a new record on Doppo’s pathetic rate, if he couldn’t even make it home by himself.
He kept on walking for who knows how long until he finally, finally, reached his apartment. By the time he got to the door though, his legs wobbled, and his vision went black.
Well, shit.
Smack. Doppo’s head thudded against the door, and the rest of his body slid down to his knees like some cartoon character who just got hit by a brick. God, of course this happens to him, he thought. It’s always him. Of course, his body decides to shut down right as he’s in front of his apartment. Might as well sit here and freeze to death now.
What a pathetic death this is, it’s even worse than getting ran over or being hit by a car, or overdosage, or any other shitty attempt he’s tried before. In those cases, Hifumi always came in at just the “right” time, which for Doppo was the worst time. Before long, his mind began to spiral into harsh and negative thoughts while he lay there, without any energy to even get up.
Not long after, the door swung open and Doppo’s head smacked against the floor, and he was met with a rush of heat and the smell of something cooking.
“Uwah! Doppochin?! What were you doing in front of the door, silly! It’s freezing out there, you’ll catch a cold! Come on… uppie uppies~!” The vibrant man who’s smile shone as bright as the sun lifted Doppo’s body with ease.
“I was in the middle of cooking… but I can totes run you a nice hot bath right now! The rice needs to cool anyway~!” Hifumi said as he smiled down at Doppo, who hung limply at Hifumi’s side.
“No… no, I just need to get to bed. I feel like I’m gonna die at any second…” Doppo slurred, with numb and cracked lips. It was hard to speak, but luckily for him, Hifumi could understand each and every Doppo-language known to man.
“Doppo, Doppo, Doppo…” Hifumi tutted with a shake of his head, “That’s no good at all~! I know you’re tired, but like I said, you’ll catch a cold after being out there! You’re like… chilled to the bone! Just lemme take care of ya~!” Hifumi babbled. “I’m gonna go fill up the tub now! You wait right here!” Hifumi zoomed off, leaving Doppo on the couch.
Doppo didn’t get the chance to mention that he had close to no energy at all, especially not after being outside on the floor and after running on just energy drinks all day. Seems the energy drinks only wore him out in the end. He sighed, exhausted as hell, and shut his eyes. He ended up dozing off as he awaited the blonde’s return.
“Ooh, you’re real tired, aren’tcha?” Hifumi’s voice woke Doppo with a jolt, and he opened an eye to look at him. “Yeah, no shit...” Doppo mumbled and shut his eye again. “Doppochin! I’ve got an idea! Fufufu… you just come with me!” Hifumi giggled.
In a flash, Doppo was seated at the edge of their bathtub, staring at Hifumi.
“Hifumi, I’m literally going to drown in our bathtub.” Doppo deadpanned.
“Whaaa? Don’t be silly, I would never let my Doppochin drown~! Have you no faith in moi?! Anyway, go ahead and get undressed~! Or… should I help you with that too?” Hifumi pondered, as his eyes, soft and bright, met Doppo’s wide and unsuspecting ones.
“Wh-What…!? What are you talking about?!” Doppo stammered.
“Woahoho! That really woke ya up, huh?!” Hifumi laughed and slapped Doppo’s back.
“Ow! Ugh… no, you just caught me off guard. I still feel like passing out on the floor any second now.” Doppo grumbled. “That’s precisely why I asked if you need help! Like I already said like, a billion times now, I don’t want you getting sick!” Hifumi said sternly.
“Hifumi… I’ll be fine—Ouch! Ugh, hopefully…” Doppo started, “Augh, what if I really do get sick and I have to stay home from work and I get behind on everything and the hours and hours of overtime will build up and I’ll have to pull even more all-nighters than I usually do and I could possibly get fired for doing a shitty job since I’ll be so exhausted and—” Doppo’s ramble was cut off by Hifumi’s finger pressed to his lips.
“Shhh… there there, Doppochin. You seeeriously needa stop overthinking things so much! You’re gonna be okay, I’m here to take good care of you! Now, if you’re ready, you can go ahead and get in the tub, yanno?” Hifumi’s gentle eyes and soft smile sent butterflies fluttering through Doppo’s tummy. He knew he couldn’t deny Hifumi, at least not at this moment.
“Alright alright… just turn away, I don’t need help.” Doppo sighed. He was given a thumbs up and Hifumi went to face the wall, smiling victoriously. Hifumi knew Doppo could be incredibly stubborn sometimes, but hey, it was all a part of his charm, and Hifumi couldn’t help but adore every single part of Doppo, whether it be positive or negative, or at least negative in Doppo’s eyes.
Minutes later, Hifumi was scrubbing Doppo’s hair tenderly, which clearly hadn’t been washed well in a while anyway. He wished the man took better care of himself, but then again how could he? With all of that work, Hifumi wanted to do everything he could to ease Doppo’s mind, which was constantly stressing over something. He wanted to make Doppo smile, to see him laugh, and God, if he could get Doppo to quit his job, he would.
Of course, Doppo would stress himself out over that too, the concept of getting a new job. But he has suffered the abuses from that office for such a long time. Hifumi sighed as he recalled how happy and hopeful for the future Doppo used to be. He was even so excited to start his new job, which ended up being absolutely terrible. Hifumi saw how the circles under Doppo’s eyes grew darker, his eyes puffier, his hair overgrown, and how much his views of the world and himself changed.
It was almost as if their roles had reversed. Back then, Hifumi had seen Doppo as his hero, the one who pulled him out of the darkness, hand in hand. Of course, though, some things never change. Hifumi has loved him for years, and that too will never change. Now he will be Doppo’s hero, pulling him out of the darkness now. No matter what, he will accomplish this goal for Doppo, whether they’re friends, best friends, brothers, or well, lovers. Hifumi would push down his unwaveringly selfish desires to make Doppo his if he needed to.
“How’s the water feeling, Doppo? Too hot? Too cold?” Hifumi asked, finally breaking his train of adoring thoughts for the man in front of him.
“It’s fine…” Doppo mumbled with a soft smile, seemingly relaxed. Hifumi smiled wider at this and continued washing Doppo’s hair. There was nothing inherently sexual or odd about this little ordeal, at least in Doppo’s eyes. He found himself feeling extremely comfortable. Was it the bubbles Hifumi had added to the bath? Was it the temperature of the water? No, of course it wasn’t either of those. Of course, it was the comfort of his best friend sitting here, even bothering to take care of him, wanting to at that. It was his touch. The way he glazed his fingers gently over Doppo’s scalp, massaging it in ways that had Doppo feeling so relaxed. His touch. Doppo wanted to melt at the feel of it.
Pretty soon, Hifumi had finished up the washing part, and Doppo was wearing a pair of Hifumi’s fuzzy pajama pants and a large T-shirt, with his hair freshly dried by one of Hifumi’s expensive hair dryers. Hifumi even curled it a bit for whatever reason, claiming he would look “cute”.
Hifumi smiled brightly at Doppo. “How do you like how I did your hair?! And aren’t you glad you’re all fresh and clean now?! Feeling better now? Oh! I need to check on the rice! You’re hungry right? Be right back! Or… just meet me in the kitchen!” Hifumi scurried off, leaving Doppo alone in the bathroom without letting him reply to any of his questions.
He glanced at himself in the mirror, and nearly needed to shield his eyes. Somehow, Hifumi had left him looking cleaner than he had in months. Even his eyebags were sparkling. Doppo smiled a little, feeling somewhat better now. Of course, he would still die if he didn’t eat soon, so he left the bathroom and went into the kitchen. Ah, that all familiar smell. Doppo’s eyes lit up.
“Oh Doppooo~! Oh, there ya are! Guess what I made… ehehe… you look so excited! That’s totes adorbsies!” Doppo’s cheeks tinted pink for a split second. “Yeah yeah… I don’t even know how you can say such embarrassing things like that, Hifumi..” Doppo muttered.
Hifumi merely laughed at this and shouted, “I made you omurice! Your favorite!” Doppo winced. “Hifumi…! Not so loud! Yes, yes, I smelled it!” Hifumi beamed and pinched his cheek. “Then come on and eat! Or… oh no… does Doppochin need the great Hifumin to feed him?!” Doppo’s face heated up.
“What?! No! Wh-What’s with you and all these crazy ideas today…?!” Doppo sat down abruptly at their mini dining table and immediately started to dig in. “Yeesh! I’ve never seen you so eager to eat! …Nor have I seen you sit down so fast! What happened to almost passing out?” Hifumi teased with a smile.
“Huh? Um… the bath made me feel better.” Doppo stated awkwardly. “Speaking of which… um...” Doppo trailed off. Hifumi tilted his head. “Yeeees?”
“Thank you, Hifumi. Thank you for all of this.” Doppo looked up at him with a shy smile on his face, which made Hifumi’s heart melt. He found it adorable that even after all of their years of friendship, Doppo was still shy when it came to gratitude! Hifumi thought Doppo knew he would do anything for him! “Aww… you’re so welcome, Doppochin! Once you’re done eating, go ahead and go straight to bed! You deserve it~!” Hifumi grinned cattily and full of love.
Doppo nodded and continued to eat. Once he was finished, he barely missed the slight touch of Hifumi’s lips pressed to his forehead. Doppo’s head snapped up to look at Hifumi, who had already turned his back to him, placing his bowl in the sink. What in the world just happened? “H-Hifumi…?” Doppo started. Hifumi turned around. “Yes, Doppochin?”
Doppo gulped. “Ah… nothing. Again, thanks for all of this… I feel a lot better. Goodnight, Hifumi.”
“Goodnight, Doppo.” Hifumi smiled.
Doppo took this and retired to his room for the night, letting a mix of many emotions swirl around in his heart.
Finally, Doppo sprawled out on his bed without bothering to get under the covers as usual, letting out an exhale of relief. It felt as if a humongous weight had been lifted off his shoulders after being pampered so much by Hifumi. In all honestly, Doppo could get used to it, but he could never make Hifumi do things like that for him, like washing his hair often. That is something Doppo should do himself, Doppo thought with a twinge of guilt making his stomach twist.
He knew Hifumi wouldn’t mind, but that didn’t stop the guilty feeling Doppo had. Hifumi had probably found him disgusting, especially his hair, his body, the way he struggles in taking care of himself, especially in hygiene. Doppo felt repulsed at himself, and horrible that Hifumi had to witness that just so his stupid body wouldn’t get sick. Yeah, no, now he could never ask for such pampering again.
It was such a Doppo thing to do to enjoy the moment thoroughly, then overthink the entire thing later, Doppo thought negatively. He let out a muffled groan into his pillow. There was still another thing to worry about as well, which of course, would be the fact that he must go back to work again in the morning. The relief he was feeling minutes before was already slowly falling down the drain, but now it was completely gone. If only he didn’t worry and worry over every single little thing… but it’s essentially his fault that he feels such ways. It’s almost as if there’s no point in relaxing for even a night if everything will just go back to normal the rest of the week.
His thoughts were drowned in negativity once again, perhaps it was getting bad again because he wasn’t in the presence of Hifumi. But that’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Doppo mentally cursed himself for being so reliant on the blonde man. It was as if he couldn’t do anything for himself. Doppo’s thoughts erupted all at once, taking over his mind, making it physically impossible for him to fall asleep. He was so absorbed in his own mind that he didn’t even notice his bedroom door open, nor did he notice the slight movement on his bed.
It was only once he felt arms wrapped around him, along with an overpowering scent of roses. He was engulfed immediately by this sensation. Hifumi. His Hifumi.
Wait, what?
Doppo was bewildered. What in the world was Hifumi doing on his bed, holding him like this?! Did he think he was asleep? That was likely, since Doppo typically collapses on days like this. Doppo restrained every muscle in his body from making any sudden movement as to not alert Hifumi of his consciousness. He couldn’t stop his face from turning ten shades redder, though.
Being held by Hifumi made him long for more, which was something that he shouldn’t be feeling, especially not about his childhood best friend who most likely didn’t reciprocate these feelings. He wanted to breathe in Hifumi’s scent forever. He wanted to taste his lips, to run his fingers through his incredibly-soft hair. He wanted to hold his hand. Doppo wanted all of these things, but overall, he just wanted Hifumi. But would Hifumi ever want him?
The answer was most likely not, but when Doppo feels Hifumi’s arms around him, he feels things he never knew he could feel about someone. He feels like maybe, just maybe, he had a chance. Doppo wondered if Hifumi did this nightly, and he wished he could ask. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it would pop right out of his chest. Hifumi snuggled up against Doppo, burying his nose into the crook of his neck. Doppo was going to explode, and he wanted to have some sort of reaction, but he knew that would ruin the peace of the moment. He decided against it. If Hifumi did this often, Doppo has never been awake long enough to know.
The possibility that he was dreaming occurred to him. Doppo wanted to believe he wasn’t, because after all, how can you smell in your dreams? Or feel in your dreams? Doppo just could not understand how after all of that, Hifumi would want to come and snuggle up to him in his bed. Was he just dense as hell?
Hifumi’s breathing slowed, and Doppo could feel himself drifting. He rested one of his hands on Hifumi’s head and began to stroke his hair softly, careful not to wake him. There was an almost magical aura in the air, the feeling of falling asleep with Hifumi in his arms. Well, more like him in Hifumi’s arms, but it was the same thing overall. The comfort of being near him. The negative train of thought he had was long gone, and all he could think of now was what’s happening in the present.
Their breathing synced. Doppo felt warm and safe, as if wrapped in a blanket of comfort and love.
Hifumi was comfort in the flesh. And he’s all Doppo has ever wanted. Doppo smiled to himself and held Hifumi close, falling deep into a land of sweet dreams he hasn’t had in many years.
All he’s ever wanted.