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Word Count: 2,539
"Mr. Aizawa, you don't have bandages anymore. That's good news." Izuku looked up at what Asui said, watching as Aizawa walked in and stood at his podium. The class had been casually chatting before the door opened, with Midoriya listening in on what was being said. Some students, like Mina and Tsu, were wondering who would cover for Aizawa, since they assumed he would be down for the count still. While other people, like Denki and Kirishima were talking about everything and anything else, uninterested in what would happen with homeroom. Everyone screamed when Aizawa walked in, surprised by his dedication. Everyone accept Midoriya. Instead, his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of his teacher. On Aizawa's face, as clear as day, was a fresh pink scar, lying just beneath his right eye. It was small and didn't really cover much of his cheek, but it was there. Midoriya missed what Aizawa said next, mind too clouded and preoccupied to pay much attention, but he did take note of the way Mr. Aizawa lifted his arm to his face, his sleeve slipping down and revealing bandages tightly wrapped around his forearm. From where he was seated, Midoriya could see that they covered his other arm too. How far up did they go? Did they stop at his shoulders, or run down his chest as well? Was he still in pain? He wasn't limping anymore, but maybe he just got more conscious of his movements to hide his struggles from anyone else?
Questions didn't stop flooding Deku's head, fogging up his mind and shutting off his senses. He didn't hear the cheers of his classmates when Mr. Aizawa announced they would be picking their hero names, or when Ms. Midnight walked in, a couple kids (Denki and Mineta) wolf whistling with the rest of the boys already swooning over her. He also missed the way Aizawa was looking at him from his place slouched down in his sleeping bag at the front. Most of the class was distracted in some way, either with the task at hand or by Ms. Midnight herself, so none of them noticed the trained eye of Mr. Aizawa as he watched Izuku. Watching the way his hands shook while writing. The way his breathing laboured, and each breath looked like a struggle to take in. The way his footing was slightly off when he walked up to the front, making him wobble. The way his eyes carried a look of impending doom, guilt, and frustration.
Aizawa spent the rest of class thinking of ways to try and get Midoriya to talk. He knew he couldn't force the kid, and he also knew that it was probably something that couldn't be sorted in half of a class period and a lunch break. However, he knew for sure that he couldn't sit and do nothing after watching one of his students have a silent breakdown right in front of him. It ruined his nap time. "Midoriya. Come with me. The rest of you are dismissed." He said as he left the room, Ms. Midnight next to him and his sleeping bag in tow. Being blunt was what he did best so he might as well try it here, he thought as Midoriya scampered out of the classroom to follow him.
The short walk to the teachers lounge was a tough one for both parties, but for Deku more so. Sweat gathered on his brow before trickling down his cheek as he swayed side to side, trying to keep himself steady. It was proving to be a difficult task. His body didn't stop shaking the whole time, to the point where some upperclassmen were staring at him and giggling. Soon enough though, the two made it to the teachers lounge, Aizawa going in first to put his sleeping bag down and wave everyone away. Deku let out a relieved sigh, happy to be away from the watchful eye of everyone else. However that relief was soon replaced with a sinking feeling that enveloped his body. It was something he had been feeling since the USJ attack whenever he saw Mr. Aizawa, and the extent of his injuries. Ever since he watched his teacher suffer for the sick and twisted enjoyment of a couple of low-life losers all to protect him and his classmates.
"Midoriya!" His head jolted upwards, startled by the sudden outburst. He realised that he was now sitting down on a comfy couch, with Mr. Aizawa next to him, a comfortable distance away. He was so lost in himself he didn't recognise the voice calling out to him. He looked up at the mention of his name, but refused to meet his teacher's gaze, eventually lowering his head again. He was confused to begin with, but that confusion only got more apparent when Eraser sighed and put a box of tissues in front of him, tipping his head up to apply his eye drops, despite having not used his quirk so far that day. As if on cue, Midoriya choked back a sob reaching for a tissue with trembling hands Before wiping away the steady stream of tears that ran down his face. "You don't have to talk to me, Midoriya," Mr. Aizawa started. "But I'm sure it would benefit you to talk to someone." Deku finished collecting himself as Aizawa spoke, eventually bringing his knees up to his chest on the couch, before mumbling into them. "There's nothing to talk about.." The voice was quiet, but Aizawa heard it. He heard how Izuku desperately tried to go unnoticed, most likely out of fear of getting in trouble. He heard how defeated the voice sounded. How defeated Midoriya sounded.
The silence that fell over the two men was brief, only realistically lasting a few seconds, but in Midoriya's head it was just about as loud as Present Mic, and it felt like hours had gone by before Mr. Aizawa decided to speak again. This time his voice was as gentle as he could make it, any irritation all but gone, and tiredness hidden as much as possible. "It wasn't your fault, kid." Five words. A short sentence was all it took for Deku to start balling his eyes out for a second time. Crying into his legs, blubbering and stuttering over and over again whilst trying to form sounds that were anything close to coherent. He wanted to say so, so much. He wanted to talk about how hard it must have been for Eraser to fight that many villains while knowing full well he isn't meant for that kind of battle. He wanted to reprimand Aizawa for returning so soon after the attack, wishing he had taken longer to rest after the incident. He wanted to say he was sorry for being Deku.
Most words he tried to speak died in his throat shortly after being thought of, but a few were croaked out, hidden in the middle of unorganised weeps and sniffles. "B-But it was my fault.." He whispered, throat still trying to keep him from opening up. He continued at the nod of his teacher. "All I had to do was punch..the easiest job ever right?" He let out a dry chuckle, voice hoarse and crackly, presumably from all the crying. "But no, I couldn't even manage that!" Midoriya's voice got louder with each word he spoke, shoulders hunched up and hands clenched into fists on his lap after having put his legs down at one point or another to grab another tissue. It wasn't a shock to Aizawa that Midoriya wasn't handling the injuries he sustained very well. Ever since Aizawa came back to class he noticed how absent Midoriya seemed, to this day never once looking him in the eye. Always looking somewhere else like at the floor or at his hands, and if he was instructed to look at Aizawa, his gaze was always directed towards the numerous bandages covering his teacher's face and body. Aizawa couldn't remember much from the attack, only the odd bit of his fight, and when the villains first showed up. However he would never forget the panicked look Izuku had on his face the whole time. Of course Asui and Mineta shared that look of 'Oh my God what do we do now' and 'I can't watch, this is horrifying', but Midoriya looked as though his life had ended. He looked as though he was the one being smashed to bits. "Midoriya, it was the most logical reaction to that situation. You're only 15, no one expected you to jump into batt-" Aizawa was baffled by the way Midoriya jumped up and interrupted him, his eyes screwed shut as his hands trembled slightly by how hard he was balling them into fists. "Whether I was expected to or not, I should've done something, anything other than stand there like some sort of coward! I just watched safely from the side..I watched as that monster crushed your body like it was nothing. I could h-hear your bones cracking from metres away..we thought you were going to die..and yet I still did nothing. How can I call myself a Hero!" Aizawa cringed at the description, the muscles in his arms subconsciously contracting, barely healed from the insane trauma they sustained. Midoriya was still shaking with anger, crying again as he yelled and his voice cracking from time to time. “If I was just a little bit stronger..if I had trained harder and wasn't so useless..if I was born with a quirk like everyone else! Maybe then..then you wouldn’t have been injured like that..” His voice wobbled, trailing off as another whimper left his mouth. His volume decreased, both from releasing most of his thoughts into the air, getting them off his chest, as well as realising what he just said. “That may be the case,” Choosing to ignore that statement, Aizawa went on to disprove what Midoriya was saying. “But another outcome could’ve been both of us being seriously injured. Or worse.” His matter-of-fact way of speaking caught Izuku off guard. He slumped back down and nodded, silence falling over the room again. Aizawa stood up, hating the way Izuku sniffled and avoided him. Midoriya watched out of the corner of his eye as his teacher crouched down in front of him. “Life holds no guarantees, Midoriya. It’s illogical to think that anything would’ve changed.” His tone was so soft, if they weren’t looking at each other, Izuku could’ve mistook Aizawa for someone else. “You did what you were supposed to do. You stayed away and protected your classmate. I’m sorry that all of you got caught up in that, no child should have to see something so…graphic.” Aizawa looked away, the attack still fresh in his mind, despite his brain forcing him to forget over half of it. He couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like. Sure, he’d seem some nasty stuff as a Pro, but it at least took him until his second year to see some proper injuries, definitely not the first week of his time at UA. After his mini-speech, he noticed Midoriya rambling again. Rambling about how if he was just a little stronger, a little better, a little different, he would’ve been able to help. He was the only one who truly knew how bad the situation was, thanks to his hero analysis books (although that knowledge seemed more like a curse in that moment), and even after seeing the danger Eraserhead was in, he couldn’t move. When it came to fight or flight, his body chose freeze.
"Kid, listen to me." Aizawa gripped Midoriya's shoulders, still crouched down to his level. Izuku stopped speaking, the words that tumbled out of his mouth coming to an abrupt stop to listen to what his teacher had to say as hiccups shook his body. "I'd do what I did that day again in a heartbeat. Other than it being my job to protect my students, I'm a hero, it's what we do." He continued before Izuku could but in. "However, as a hero I recognise that I can't save everyone. There have been plenty of times where I was in your position. Feeling helpless, too weak to take action and save someone I cared about.." This admission made Aizawa pause, reminiscing further about the one friend that slipped through his fingers, someone his brain would never let him forget. He stared Midoriya dead in the eyes, not letting him break eye contact. "I won't make the same mistake, and if that decision costs me my life then so be it. Don't feel bad, Izuku. It only holds you back. Instead, become a better hero than I could ever hope to be. Gain control of that quirk of yours and I have no doubt that you'll outshine All Might one day." This time Midoriya was crying tears of joy at Aizawa's kind and thoughtful words, practically leaping into his arms and weeping into his chest. Making no attempts to shush him, Eraser just closed his eyes and placed one hand on Midoriya's head. "There's no need to feel ashamed, Izuku. You did nothing wrong. I'd protect you all with my life. Plus Ultra Style." [END]
BONUS
“Wait, you weren’t born with your quirk?” Aizawa finally questioned, gently pulling Midoriya off of him. Midoriya stayed quiet, forgetting he had built that bridge and really not wanting to cross it, so Aizawa questioned again. “When did you get your quirk?” Deku quickly realised that Mr. Aizawa wouldn’t stop without an answer, the determined look in his eyes telling Midoriya all he needed to know. He put his forehead to Aizawa's chest before telling him. “..The day before the entrance exam.” His teacher jumped slightly, gasping at the same time. Aizawa had heard of late bloomers, but the latest confirmed case was age nine, not 15. So he knew it wasn't because Midoriya was a late bloomer, it was because the quirk wasn't his to begin with. Midoriya ended up telling Aizawa the story of how he got his quirk and who gave it to him, laughing quietly every time his teacher scoffed or rolled his eyes at the mention of All Might. After the story was explained and the two were back up on the couch, Aizawa gained Izuku's attention for the last time, seriousness returning to his expression. "Midoriya, I'd like you to talk to Hound Dog. I can set up an appointment for you, it's no trouble, but you have to understand that I'm not qualified to help you with this. I'm more than happy to listen, but Hound Dog would most likely offer you more help than I could." Izuku nodded at his teacher, happy to get all of his feelings out in the open. "You've helped more than you know." He said smiling, his teacher returning that smile and not even bothering to hide it in his capture scarf like he normally would. It certainly wasn't over, and there would be a lot more explaining to do down the line. But it was a start. Midoriya would never let something like that happen again.