Chapter Text
Shinsou was a quiet kid, he had to be in order to survive this cruel world. He had to learn to stay quiet, hidden, and out of the spotlight in order to survive another day. It was just how life was, and if he wanted to see another day, well he just had to keep it up. One day at a time, one challenge at a time, one struggle at a time.
Life was isolating, and with his reputation, Shinsou could not blame others for staying away from him, especially once they figured out he would not use his quirk to benefit them in any way. It made him build up his own walls, to protect himself, to not get his hopes up. He was in school for one reason, and one reason alone. To become a hero. To prove all those nagging voices wrong that spiraled through his head. To prove his countless foster families wrong when they claimed he was violent, claimed he was abusing his quirk, claimed he was acting out. All false claims that led to the same verdict. He was doomed from the start. Doomed to wear that muzzle that left him scarred, doomed to be a traitorous villain, doomed to never have any one he can trust, doomed to have no one to care about him.
But that's life, right? Some people just had to struggle in order to see another day. Had to grapple with the fact that it was only a matter of time before they were discarded to the side like garbage. Shinsou just so happened to fall into that category. So to help, he learned to keep his mouth shut, to avoid getting close, and to keep his head down. That had gotten him through life so far, and he was so close. Once he was 18 and out of the system, he could burn that damn muzzle, he could stop hopping from house to house every few weeks, he could just stop. But life wouldn't be different then either, would it? Everyone would still be afraid of him. Everyone would still laugh at him. Everyone would still abandon him. Besides, he still had two more years to go until then, so why bother fantasizing about it when there was no way he would make it that far anyway? Besides, right now he just had to focus on his main goal, it was the only thing keeping him from spiraling completely out of control.
So that's how he found himself outside his new classroom, it should have been an exciting day, he had managed to accomplish an unknown feat, managed to claw his way out of general studies, and into a hero course. But instead he sat out here, stooping in his own negative thoughts. He had to shove those fears and trepidations down, pull out that numbness that he has grown so accustomed to. He took a deep breath before pushing open the large doors, and staring down the class full of wonder struck eyes. This was a mistake, he should turn and run now, but he couldn’t, not if he wanted to ever make something of himself, so instead he turned into what Mr. Aizawa was saying, and gave a quiet nod of acknowledgment as he was introduced to the class. He then filtered into the seat that was left empty for him. He let tired purple eyes shift up to the front, ignoring the class's typical hyper active explosion of questions. HIs lavender eyes narrowing slightly to urge the sensei to continue on. He could not grow attached to any of these bumbling fools. It simply was not worth the pain, worth the betrayal, worth the tears.
To his absolute horror, the teacher told the class to get to know the new member before pulling out a sleeping bag. This was fine, he could do this, he could ignore them all.
“Welcome to our class! This here is Iida, he is our class representative” The kid with green hair started, one he knew as Midoriya from last year's sports festival. “This one over here is our vice representative, her name is Yaoyorozu” He continued on, introducing the class to him, but Shinsou was already tuning him out, instead opting to focus in on his notebook, suddenly the pages were looking very interesting. He knew going into it that this class was disgustingly energetic and optimistic, but it was still different experiencing it first hand. They were exhausting. Good thing he had long mastered the skill of leaving his body, allowing the world to grow staticy as the voices faded out. It was a skill he picked up long ago to help deal with the hours of isolation, the hours in the muzzle, the verbal abuse. It helped to feel disconnected from it all.
He was only pulled back into his body when a pair of hands found their way to slamming onto his desk, small sparks threatening to explode from them. The sudden change made a not so unfamiliar anger bubble up in himself, causing him to snap out as well, even if the initial threat was not directed at him. He always had a hard time keeping his own emotions in check, they always felt so big, so explosive, but that was just how emotions were, right?
“Just shut the fuck up already” Shinsou snapped at the blonde infront of him, only vaguely recognising him from the sports festival. Oh, he was the kid they muzzled at the end, who sent him spiralling so fast. That didn’t matter right now though.
“Who do you think you’re talking to, eyebags” The blonde, Bakugou, hissed back.
“I said to shut the fuck up and stop putting your nasty ass hands on my stuff” Shinsou repeated, grabbing his notebook out from under the others hands, narrowing his eyes as he stared down the slightly smaller boy.
“Aizawa-sensei said to stay quiet, and fighting is never a condoned behavior” The tall blue haired teen, Iida, sputtered out quickly as he gestured with his arms, getting between the two teens that were standing.
“What? Going to use your shitty quirk on me?” Bakugou spoke around Iida, making his own explosions in threat to Shinsou, which to his dismay did not even get a wince, or any reaction.
“Why would… I wouldn’t waste it on you” Shinsou almost slipped, almost asked a question, but he caught himself and redirected, a notion that was not lost, but no one was about to call it out when a fight was threatening to break out. How could he almost slip? He was so good at controlling his wording for others' comfort. He was far past accidentally using his quirk, so why would they assume he couldn’t? Oh, no they thought he was doing it intentionally. He still had all that anger boiling over the edge, he needed to get it out, to stop it from boiling over. So he reached forward, flipped his own desk at Bakugou, before storming out of the room. Way to go Hitoshi, what a way to make a first impression. As he left, he could vaguely hear someone saying that Bakugou has competition for anger issues, he thinks it may have been the toddler sized grape themed boy, but he wasn’t sure, and it really did not matter. He had to go blow off some steam, had to divert this energy before he self-destructed.
This was how it always was, it was probably why so many assumed he was a villain. He would start to open up, explode, then find himself back at square one feeling lost and empty. This was why he said no distractions, no letting any one in.