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Buck's Gold Medal

Summary:

Buck tells the story of how he accidentally won a gold medal at the Olympics.

Notes:

This is not meant to be taken serious, I just thought it'd be hilarious lmao

Work Text:

The day after Buck finally got his job back ended up being one of the worst days he's ever experienced. Cold shoulders, glares, and silent treatment. He'd figured everything would blow over as quickly as it came. So, he took it all in stride and just marched to the beat of his own drum doing the light duty shit that everyone hated to death and he turned it into a game for himself. Of course. He had to... either wise he's going to go crazy when he's acutely aware of his friends watching him and talking. "And Buckley takes the lead in mopping shuffleboard. Haaaa! Haaaa! The crowd's going wild they are cheering 'Buckley!' 'Buckley!' 'Buck-" He stood up straight when he noticed Eddie staring at him with a weird look on his face. "Mopping shuffleboard?" Eddie asked looking at Buck. 

 

Buck's heart leaped in his chest, this was the first time that someone's actively talking to him that's not about work! "You know, the Winter Olympic sport?" Buck started. Eddie looked at him. "You mean curling? Buck shuffleboard is that game old people play with the puck." 

 

Buck blushed slightly embarrassed, he only ever truly watches the Summer Olympics... "Did you know that I was a gold medalist for Running?" Buck asked slowly. Eddie looked at him, clearly wanting him to say more. "Well, back on my travels, I ended up in South America, without a grasp of Spanish... like I didn't even know how to say where's the bathroom in Spanish. So not a good idea, I was struggling and there was this woman who spoke to me with rapid Spanish when I was in Peru. I was panicking because I didn't know what to do I couldn't remember how to say I don't speak Spanish. And so I'm just nodding along, hoping to god that I'm not agreeing to be killed or fucked."

 

At this point, Hen, Chimney, and Bobby all gathered around Buck and Eddie. Just listening to Buck. "And she gives me a piece of paper with what I know looks like an address on it and I go to it... Smart right? 22-year-old me was an idiot. But I was 22, I was curious, and I thought that if I was to get murdered, at least it'd be in an interesting way considering my love of true crime."

 

"Wait you had an address a stranger gave in a completely different language... and you just went?" Hen asked incredulously. Buck nodded.

 

"No sense of self-preservation." Buck agreed. "It's literally a miracle, I've lived this long... like this one time I was in Mexico-"

 

Eddie holds up his hands. "Getting off track, Buck. Gold Medal. Go." He said. Buck blinked, "Oh right, so I show up at this address and I realize that the lady was complimenting my legs and that she thought that I would be a good addition to her team. Well as it turns out, one of her runners was murdered in his sleep by his wife and the lady needed someone to fill in her team... and well she stuck a number on me, gave me a jersey, and pointed to the door. In hindsight, I should have looked at the jersey, because when I got to the track I saw all these different people there and...all of them were from different countries. Well, I thought, okay, a friendly little foot race, sure I ran Track in high school. What's the big deal?"

 

Everyone was listening with intent it was almost like they forgot why they were mad at him. "A friendly foot race..." Chimney snorts. "Exactly, Then they started the race and I just... booked it. I didn't even notice the Olympic rings until I made it around the track. My first thought was, Ohhhh that's why they asked for what country I'm from. I thought they were asking where I lived. And well I said Peru because I was living in Peru for some time. Welp time to book it. And then the race was over and I could not feel my lungs anymore. I honestly thought I was having an asthma attack afterward. Then the awarding ceremony happened... And I'm honestly there to have a good time, why not? I'm not Olympian-trained. It was fun, then they called Evan Buckley, Peru for first place and I was like, I just beat out... actual Olympians? Sweet! Then they found out that I wasn't actually supposed to be there and they disqualified me." Buck sighed. "It was so unfair." 

 

He stopped his story and went back to mopping the floor. His team blinked at him. "So about Mexico?" Hen asked. He looked up. "Oh yeah, I accidentally became a Drug Lord... my Spanish was not that good. So... you know." 

 

Eddie looked even more confused. "you became a drug lord? Buck! That's very illegal!" Eddie was dumbfounded. Buck shrugged. "I didn't know I was a drug lord! I thought I was you know selling Coca-Cola, Now, having learned how to speak Spanish from you and Abuela, I know that la cocaína is most definitely not Coca-Cola! It totally reminds me of the" Bobby clapped a hand over Buck's mouth. 

 

"Please stop before you admit to more felonies! Buck seriously, I'm married to a cop." 

 

"I was gonna say, it reminds me of the time, I took Christopher to the Coca-cola factory on a tour on how Coke is made, and that's when I realized. Oh, Cocaine, not Coke as in the soda. When Chris asked for the name in Spanish, so he'd get some practice, and when it wasn't that... I put two and two together and... well... I'll never step foot in South America, or Mexico ever again. Because I accidentally left a restaurant without paying... And I somehow ended up helping the CIA with a- Oh wait no I can't talk about that... it's classified." 

 

"THE CIA?!" Everyone shouted. 

 

"See! The crazy It just sucks you in!" Chimney sighs. 

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