Chapter Text
“Johnny why didn’t Walker ever get on you about not having a next of kin listed in your personnel file,” Jack Crusher waved the padd around from the couch in Jean-Luc Picard’s Ready Room.
“He decided that his being first officer was enough to cover that,” Jean-Luc rolled his eyes at his new first officer.
“Clearly he didn’t think through what would happen when he finally decided to promote,” Jack laughed as he tapped out an order on the padd, “so now I guess the honor falls upon me to make sure that you don’t die in the field. Beverly and Wesley would never forgive me if you did.”
“Jack, I can’t let you do that for me,” Jean-Luc insisted, placing his tea cup on its saucer.
“Johnny, you are family, accept it, or I’ll let Robert plan the most atrociously traditional non-Starfleet funeral you’ve ever seen.”
Jack stood up and sat in the chair across from Jean-Luc, passing the padd over.
Jean-Luc sighed and pressed his thumb to the padd, then tossed it back to his new Number One.
“Let’s just hope that Beverly doesn’t ever have to deal with this for either of us,” Jack said as he winked.
1.
The last communique Beverly Crusher had expected to receive was a next-of-kin notification. She pulled the communique up on her terminal, a sharp sense of foreboding settled in her, Jack had been gone for two years and there was no one else she could think of that would have her listed. Her eyes widened as she scanned through the document.
SUSPECTED – MISSING IN ACTION, PRESUMED DEAD – CAPTAIN JEAN-LUC PICARD, USS STARGAZER.
Her heart fell into her stomach. Missing in Action. Presumed dead. She reread the message, committing the words to memory. Jean-Luc Picard was missing.
Beverly felt her breathing start to come out shorter and faster before she took a single deep breath in. She held it for three moments. Exhaled slowly. She sat back in her chair and rubbed her hands down her face.
She hadn’t spoken to Jean-Luc since a month after Jack’s funeral, when her final message to him had gone unreturned and she had called him over subspace and begged him to speak to her. He had acquiesced and she thought their relationship would return to normal, or as normal as it could be without Jack, but then he had gone back to not responding and she gave up. His silence made it clear that he had only been friendly with her due to Jack’s presence and now without Jack around, he had no obligation to remain on friendly terms. She had hoped that Wesley would be enough to keep him in her life but apparently the affection he had shown him was nothing more than an act to keep his friendship with Jack peaceful.
And here she was now, two years later, receiving a next-of-kin notification for him. When had that addition been made to his personnel file, she wondered. She ruffled her hair, missing in action didn’t mean dead, but for a Starship to not answer a week’s worth of subspace messages… very few other possibilities remained. Presumed was still not confirmed though, she remembered. Still.
The tears that threatened to prick at her tear ducts began to well. She might not have meant much to him, but there had been multiple times during the years that she had questioned the depth of her feelings for him and whether they existed because of his proximity to Jack. She shoved those emotions down now, they were no use to her with him gone.
Tears fell onto her cheeks, and she brought up a hand to wipe them away. Swallowing her tears, she resolved not to tell Wesley until there was a firm decision on his status, until she knew for sure that he was gone.
It was two weeks later that Beverly found herself rushing into sickbay during her off hours to come face-to-face with Jean-Luc Picard. He was sitting on one of the beds, his eyes dark and empty, a nurse working around him. She strode over and waved the nurse off, accepting the padd from her.
“What are you doing here,” his commanding voice was quiet, broken, hoarse from the days on days of stale shuttle air.
“Well, I’m stationed here now, and apparently I’m your next of kin,” she scrolled through the padd the nurse had passed over to her before they left, “wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
His eyes widened. “A deer in a spotlight,” her Nana would have said his expression resembled. She watched as he fidgeted his feet, shuffling them as the tips of his ears brightened. He didn’t respond to her question.
“It’s just funny that you haven’t spoken to me for two years and then the next thing I hear from you is your Missing in Action notice,” she interrogated, her fury from the last two weeks of worrying started to take over, “did you even think what that would do to me?”
He still didn’t respond, causing her anger to grow, he just continued to stare at the ground. She took a deep breath, trying to stamp down her anger so she could speak to him.
“Jean-Luc, please,” she started, “tell me what happened, I’ve been worried sick the last two weeks, why was the Stargazer lost?”
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, she moved closer, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Jack set the next of kin as a joke, I forgot about it.”
She dropped her hand from him and stared at him, her jaw slightly open. Beverly collected herself together.
“Right, you’re in shock, I’m sorry for pushing you for answers,” she squeezed his shoulder again, smiling gently.
“I’m not in shock.” He shrugged off her hand, her face fell and she gave up any pretenses.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked, her voice low as she crowded him, making sure none of the other people in sick bay could hear them.
“There’s nothing wrong with me, doctor.”
She stepped back like he had slapped her.
“Doctor? Not Beverly? Not Bev? That’s how you want to do this.”
“I’m not doing anything, doctor. You have no reason to be here. I’m just the man who killed your husband.”
Beverly hissed inadvertently. The words hurt and she hadn’t been expecting them. She knew that Jack’s death had changed Jean-Luc, he had always been the most introverted of the trio of friends but even Walker had noticed how withdrawn he had become.
She studied him. The hazel eyes that had once held so much humor had gone dark. The tawny hair that had been thinning was gone, he had finally given up and shaved most of it away, the small band that remained almost fully grey. This wasn’t the same man who had been the best man at her wedding, who had fought for her to remain on the Stargazer when she found out she was pregnant, who had held her at Jack’s funeral and after. There was no resemblance to the man who she had fallen just as in love with as she had her husband and whoever he was he didn’t want her to know him.
She hadn’t noticed that she had been silent for so long until his eyes snapped to her own. She felt restless under his gaze. Instantly wanting to shrink away but refusing to allow herself to do so. She stood taller, forcing herself to meet his stare.
“Fine, Jean-Luc, you want me to blame you for Jack’s death? Your wish is granted.”
She stormed out of her own sickbay. Resolved not to speak to Jean-Luc Picard ever again so he couldn’t break her heart once more.
2.
“Dr. Crusher? Ma’am,” Ensign Westerling announced through her commbadge, “there’s an urgent call on subspace for you from Starbase 515.”
Beverly Crusher sighed and pushed away the padd she had been working on before tapping on her own commbadge to respond.
“Send it through in here.”
“Aye sir.”
Her terminal lit up with the Starfleet insignia as she wondered what this was about. She knew Wesley was heading to a Starbase but couldn’t quite remember which one and Wesley had been vague in his most recent communique. Shaking her head she chose not to worry about Wesley, if anything was wrong with him Jean-Luc would call her personally.
The Starfleet Medical emblem flashed on her terminal as she sat down at her desk. Dr. Robert Metoyer, one of the head cardiovascular surgeons of Starfleet Medical, appeared on screen.
“Dr. Crusher, I apologize for calling you,” Dr. Metoyer rushed through his prepared statement, “you’re listed as the Emergency Contact and Next of Kin for Captain Jean-Luc Picard –”
“Captain Picard? I thought…” Beverly interrupted the doctor, shaking her head, “what’s wrong with Jean-Luc?”
He had kept her as his emergency contact after all of these years. Oh, if he at all felt the same way she could kiss him.
“Well, ma’am, his cardiac implant needed to be replaced and there were complications during the surgery.”
The doctor paused waiting for her to react but Beverly kept her face stoic and calm.
“We had some issues with capillary reactions, the captain was placed in stasis and a specialist was called in before eventually Dr. Pulaski was called in to correct the procedure. Captain Picard was just brought out of anesthesia and will make a full recovery.”
“Why didn’t Dr. Pulaski perform this aboard the Enterprise,” she asked, keeping her voice even.
“Well ma’am, I was informed that Captain Picard did not want the surgery to occur aboard the Enterprise. Dr. Pulaski said that he did not want to have to explain the necessity of the surgery to his senior staff.”
Beverly frowned.
“I see,” she bit the inside of her lip, he truly was the most stubborn man she had ever met, “when Dr. Pulaski becomes available can you have her comm me?”
“Yes, ma’am.” The emblem of Starfleet Medical flashed again on the screen and she threw her stylus down. Ruffling her hair, she blew air out through her teeth, sometimes she really thought Jean-Luc tried to be the most infuriating man she ever met. To not have his CMO conduct the surgery was an insult to her. The current CMO that was. Not herself. She wouldn’t have let him get away with not having the surgery on the Enterprise.
“Beverly, how’s Medical treating you?” Katherine Pulaski’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Kate,” she greeted her, immediately hiding her irritation at Jean-Luc, “Medical is going wonderful, how are you?”
“A little annoyed at my captain, but what isn’t new these days.”
“Is he being that stubborn?”
“This is just the worst of it,” Kate snorted. “You could have warned me, you know.”
Beverly grinned innocently.
“Warned you of what?”
“That the man is irascible.”
Beverly laughed. “Oh, come on, he’s not that bad, Kate, you just have to know how to get through to him.”
Beverly laughed harder as a single of Kate’s eyebrows lifted.
“How about we trade then? I’ll run Medical and you come back as CMO of the Enterprise, I’m getting too old for this Beverly.”
Beverly hummed. She did miss Wesley and the Enterprise greatly. And the paperwork was tedious…
“You’re actually considering it, aren’t you?” Kate asked, beginning to laugh.
“A little,” Beverly admitted, a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I miss Wesley, of course.”
“He’s a good kid.”
“Yeah, he is,” Beverly fell into silence, chewing at her lip as she stared off into space. She shook herself off and looked back at the viewscreen. “Is Jean-Luc going to be okay, Kate?”
If Kate was shocked by her use of Captain Picard’s first name, she made sure not to show it.
“He’ll be fine, give him three days of actual rest and it’ll be like nothing ever happened. He won’t be happy when he finds out I’ve suspended his command codes for those three days but if he had just listened to me, then we wouldn’t be here.”
“Listening is only his strong suit when it doesn’t involve his health,” she said simply, raising an eyebrow.
Kate snorted.
“You’re telling me. Listen, Beverly, I’ve got to go plan the transfer of Captain Picard to the Enterprise, we should be heading to McKinley in a few weeks, when we do you should come and visit. I do think I’m going to put in a transfer request though, starship life is for a younger crowd and I’m just too far past that to be having fun here.”
Beverly nodded and Kate disconnected the call. She stared out the open window to the grounds of Starfleet Academy. The bright rays of the sun bouncing off of the buildings.
Maybe going back to the Enterprise wasn’t a bad idea…
3.
Beverly stood in the surgical bay alone, standing over Jean-Luc’s body as she pulled the remaining Borg hardware from his arm. He was awake for this surgery and watching her intently as she extricated the screws, bolts, and metal plates from his body. This was the calmest she had seen him since freeing him from the Borg Collective and she was happy to have his serene presence in her company again.
“You did never tell me how I became your next of kin and emergency contact” she quirked an eyebrow up as she continued to remove the Borg hardware from his body.
“Ah,” he said shuddering at the continued removal, “that was… that was in fact Jack who did that. He… he saw that I didn’t have one named and said that you, he, and Wesley were my family and had me add the two of you to my emergency contacts.”
“We were,” she agreed, she hummed as she continued her micro surgery, “still are, I’d say.”
He hummed in agreement, or as much of an agreement she knew he’d allow.
She extricated the final bolt from his hand and quickly sutured the skin closed. A set of regenerative patches ready and waiting to be placed on his hand. She worked slowly and methodically, her fingers brushing against the bruised and broken skin as she set the patches on the worst of the wounds. Removal of the invasive technology only did so much, the skin that was under was red and angry, often bruised and bleeding. She finished covering all she wanted to cover with the patches and smiled at him.
“Beverly, I am sorry for what I said that day on Starbase 32,” he said before she could pronounce him completely human, “I didn’t mean it.”
Beverly leaned down, pressing her lips to his forehead, hiding her own tears as she lingered. Her hand smoothly caressing his scalp. She removed her lips and moved back, pressing her forehead to his. She stayed still as his available hand came up to twist in her hair.
They stayed in that position for several minutes before she finally quickly kissed his cheek.
“I know,” she whispered into his ear, his hand fell from her hair, letting her grab the hand with her own. She squeezed it tightly as he nuzzled her cheek with his own.
Finally pulling away, she smiled down at him, giving him a cursory glance as she moved. All of the Borg implants were gone by her own hand, he had regenerative patches covering most of his body. Forty-eight hours of grueling micro surgery over the last four days and he was “fully human.”
She pulled her hand from his and rested it on his chest.
“You’re going to be okay, Jean-Luc.”
“Only because I have the best doctor tending to me.”
“Hmm. Flattery will get you everywhere.”
“Like my own quarters tonight?”
Beverly laughed.
“Not a chance, Jean-Luc, one more night of sick bay for you.”
4.
“Dr. Crusher should not be in there!” Edward Jellico’s voice rang across sick bay as Beverly continued her examination of Jean-Luc. Beverly rolled her eyes, ignoring the voice behind her. She stepped around the bed, moving to face Jellico as he stormed up to the bed that she, Deanna, and Will had all crowded around.
“Dr. Crusher, I order you to turn care of Captain Picard over to another doctor right this minute.”
“Belay that order,” Jean-Luc commanded, his voice hoarse from the damage to his vocal chords. Beverly placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him back from sitting fully up. The two shared a look and Beverly nodded.
“It is the CMO’s responsibility to be the primary provider for the captain of the vessel,” she stated simply as she grabbed a hypospray from her coat.
Jellico frowned.
“Not when that CMO is listed as the captain’s next of kin,” he folded his arms across his face reflecting his smugness. Will and Deanna shared twin looks, Will’s turning into a knowing smirk and Deanna’s a dazzling grin that promised her an interrogation once they were away from the men, Beverly had to keep from physically rolling her eyes again.
“It is when the captain wishes her to be the primary provider for him,” Jean-Luc added as Beverly pressed the hypospray to his neck. He sighed as the painkillers activated in his system, suppressing the nerve damage. Beverly continued to fiddle with the hypospray, preparing the light sedative that would give him a full nights sleep.
“Dr. Crusher, I will put you on report if you continue to ignore my order.” Beverly and Jean-Luc shared a look, he nodded, and Beverly placed the hypospray at his neck while Jellico prepared to speak again.
“Edward, let Beverly do her job, I won’t accept care from anyone else,” Jean-Luc said before Jellico could get a word in. “Beverly has been my emergency contact since 2350, it has never impeded her ability to care for me.”
Sickbay fell into silence while they all waited for Jellico to respond. Beverly took no notice of her temporary Captain and scanned Jean-Luc with her tricorder before snapping it shut. A smug smile formed on her face.
“My exam is done anyways,” she announced, pocketing the tricorder and hypospray and sat in the chair next to Jean-Luc’s bed. “And it is… 16:03, I am now off duty, so I am here as a dear friend.”
Deanna stifled a laugh while Will barely suppressed a smug smile. Jellico rolled his eyes and stormed out. Muttering under his breath.
“Do I want to know what you did to him while I was away?” Jean-Luc asked, having fully sat up, looking between his three senior most staff members.
“Oh, just stunned him with how close and loyal we are to you,” Beverly said, her blue eyes smiling with unspoken laughter.
“Oh, is that all?”
Beverly nodded in response, pulled the padd on his table towards her to find something to read. Jean-Luc sighed and laid back on the bed, the second hypospray finally settling him down for some needed sleep.
“Next of kin?” Will mouthed to her, his eyes bright with mischief.
“Oh, come on, Will, we’re not of any use in here,” Deanna said, the dazzling grin returning to her face as she faced Beverly while tugging on Will’s arm. The “you need to tell me everything” Deanna had written across her face went unspoken. Beverly rolled her eyes, wishing for once that Deanna was truly telepathic and could hear the “there’s nothing to tell” she was saying to herself.
5.
“I am very glad I didn’t finish the letter to Robert,” Beverly announced as she drank her peppermint tea. Jean-Luc looked up from his earl grey in shock.
“Will didn’t write to Robert himself?”
“No, Will was torn up by your untimely demise and didn’t even want to write a eulogy for you, as your next of kin, I took care of everything.” Beverly hummed as she cut into the Bajoran dish she had settled on for breakfast this morning, she couldn’t recall the name.
Jean-Luc hummed back, joining her in the consumption of their meal. They sat in amiable silence as they ate. Today was the first day he and Will would be returning to duty since the report of his death, and this was the most Beverly had mentioned the events of the last week. He was finding that this one was far more to his liking than the last several Beverly had been coming up with, this exotic breakfast food kick wasn’t his favorite trend, but it seemed to make her happy, and so as long as it did, he’d continued to enjoy it for her.
Beverly finally stopped her meal and smiled wryly at him. He quirked an eyebrow back.
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked to hear your eulogy,” she finally said, her voice breathy with unreleased laughter.
“Isn’t the point of a eulogy that I am to never know what is said?” he asked, his suspicions rising. Beverly shrugged.
“Sure, but it’s not everyday you come back from the dead. A normal person would take advantage of that.”
“Well, I wasn’t really dead, now was I?”
“Fair point.” Beverly tore some of the bread that came with their dish and popped a portion into her mouth. “Guess I’ll just have to keep my brilliant writing to myself.”
The silence returned as they continued their breakfast.
“Are you ever going to change that?” Beverly asked, breaking the silence once again.
“Am I ever going to change what?” he responded, looking at her over the rim of his teacup.
“Your next of kin information.”
Jean-Luc swallowed. Placing his teacup back into the saucer as he considered his response.
“Oh… I might, one day,” he answered finally, “so far it has come in handy.”
Beverly hummed in agreement.
+1.
Cristobal Rios was determined. His talk with Seven of Nine had reinvigorated him and he was determined to see this through. The reminder of his own captain’s death had weighed on him, but he had a chance this time to fix it.
He pulled up Starfleet’s personnel file for Jean-Luc Picard. Last updated two months ago, blessedly, despite his retirement. He scrolled to the bottom, searching for the most important piece of information at this moment.
Next of Kin.
Rios focused and followed the line.
Next of Kin: Beverly Crusher.
Rios scowled he didn’t recognize that name. The Admiral had never mentioned this person in any of the time he had known him. The people listed after this Beverly Crusher, Will Riker and Deanna Troi, were known to Rios, but not Beverly Crusher.
Rios checked the last date this information was verified. Two months ago as well.
Rios frowned and searched the comm signal for Beverly Crusher. No results found.
Curiosity growing, Rios searched for a Starfleet Personnel file, locating a closed file. Dr. Beverly Crusher; promoted to Captain in May 2379 and retained her post as CMO on the USS Enterprise-E, resigned in September 2379. No forwarding number, no relocation information. Just closed. He searched for updates and found that the file had not been updated since it was closed a full year after her resignation, but it had been accessed once a month every year since her resignation by one Admiral Jean-Luc Picard.
Rios would have felt touched if it hadn’t been for the fact that now he had to search for this Beverly Crusher.
He dove into his search, while annoying it was a welcome distraction.
Four hours later, Rios had just considered asking Seven for some Borg enhanced assistance when he finally found something. A Mariposa Corps medical vessel, the Eleos.
“Finally,” he muttered to himself as he entered the subspace address.
What felt like minutes went by until an older woman with dark grey hair, streaked with silver, and a pair of the brightest blue eyes Rios had ever seen answered. She narrowed her eyes at the unfamiliar bridge and man. Rios had never felt as unnerved as he did in this moment.
“Can I help you?” the woman asked defensively, her eyes narrow, shifting to take up more of the viewscreen.
“Ah, yes, I’m looking for a Dr. Beverly Crusher,” he stumbled over his words, the last four hours of searching and the emotional turmoil of the day weighing on him.
The woman eyed him cautiously for a moment before speaking.
“Well, you don’t look like Starfleet,” she said finally, her eyes softening, “how can I help you?”
Rios sat in shock for a moment before recovering. Four hours for searching for someone who clearly didn’t want to be found, and all it took was asking for her.
“You – you’re Dr. Beverly Crusher,” he stated simply.
“Yes,” Beverly Crusher rolled her eyes, “how can I help you? You went through an awful lot of work to find me.”
Rios exhaled a breath of air he didn’t know he had been holding.
“Ma’am, it’s about Admiral Jean-Luc Picard,” he started, he watched as the mysterious woman’s face drained of all color, “you’re listed as his next of kin and there was an incident and unfortunately…”
“Don’t,” Beverly Crusher commanded, “don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
Rios stopped. He looked at Beverly Crusher, though her expression was controlled he could see the way her eyes dilated, the blue growing brighter.
“I’m sorry,” was all Rios could say. The line disconnected and he was left alone on La Sirena, he didn’t know what had happened between the Admiral and this doctor but it clearly had left deep scars on the two of them.
Five thousand lightyears away, on the medical ship Elios XII, Beverly Crusher collapsed in front of her viewscreen. Her body wracked in sobs that she couldn’t stop. Her heart cramped and she gasped for air. She had always imagined she would have at least one more opportunity to speak to him, to explain to him, to love him… and now that was all gone. Gone in an instant. She didn’t want to know how it had happened, she didn’t need to know, it was Jean-Luc Picard and he wouldn’t have settled for less than dying after having put the universe to rights. Anything else would have been a waste of his life.
“Mum!” her son’s voice cut through her pain and she felt his arms wrap around her, “mum, what’s wrong, talk to me please.”
Beverly threw her arms around him and held him tightly.
“My sweet boy,” she ran her fingers through his tawny hair, so much like Jean-Luc’s had been when he was younger, “I love you so much.”
Jack looked at her curiously. She traced down his nose, the nose he had inherited from his father, and pressed her forehead to his.
“It’s nothing, love, I’ll tell you later,” she pressed a kiss onto his forehead and said a silent goodbye to the man she had spent the better part of her life being deeply in love with and a thanks to the universe for the son she had spent twenty years protecting from the dangers of the legacy of his father.