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Clayman...
Dear Clayman?
I don't know if I can do this.
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Dear Clayman,
It's been a week since since I tried to write you a letter. It's been something like a month since you were killed. I mean, probably. Without you here, the days passed me by, and I let them. I tried to shut everything out.
That damn Rimuru wouldn't let me.
I don't know how to feel about that, honestly. Had I let myself fade out of existence, Yuzu would be all alone in this world. Realizing that hurt me. But without you, I...
It's hard.
You aren't ever going to read this and yet I feel guilty for telling you how all of this has irrevocably damaged me. Heh. Pretending helps, somehow...
This is all I can manage for today, I think. I miss you-
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Dear Clayman,
Now that I think about it, you don't know that I lived. It was quite a surprise to me, too. Lord Rimuru (sorry) thought the most fitting punishment for me was to live with my grief.
I don't think he intended it as a punishment. I think he still saw me as a friend. We're both Otherworlders, Clayman. Like I tried to tell you, there's a special bond there. Not one that can overcome every obstacle, but one that is willing to grant second chances.
The conditions are that I build a life for myself in Tempest. And behave myself. You know, although perhaps by now you've forgotten, the way I tended to avoid violence, so that's easy. Lord Rimuru has an Arch Demon keeping an eye on me. He's quite terrifying. I dare not even think his name, lest I draw his attention. I was never planning to cause trouble in the first place, but...the mere thought of it now gives me nightmares for what consequences I might invoke...
I hope you can forgive me for the way my life has gone now.
I'm not strong, like you or the others. In the face of grief, I...I crumbled completely. I'm a prisoner, anyway, so it's not like I could do anything.
You know better, don't you? Perhaps I could escape with <Electromagnetism >. But, I...
I don't want to use the Skill that came from our shared name. I can't stand the thought of that. Whenever I used it, I could instantly pinpoint where you were through the ley lines. You were always there. And now, if I use it...you won't be there.
I couldn't handle that.
Besides, all I would succeed in doing is leading that demon to our family. It would jeopardize everything. So my cowardice, my weakness, is justified.
I hope you can forgive me.
Sorry, I- I had better go now.
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Dear Clayman,
Lord Rimuru has been cultivating the arts. I'm sure you remember that I was a member of our little musical troupe. Not a very permanent one, given my other duties, of course. I loved playing the flute for you, and working with the other musicians. I was happy to know they weren't killed.
Now, the six of us (Karma, Roxanne, Heather, Allen, Tara, and myself) are teaching others in Tempest how to read music and to play musical instruments. I have shared some sheet music myself. Or, rather, I shared the location where it was stored in the castle with Lord Rimuru, and he sent someone to fetch it.
I...I can't go back there. Not when I know you won't-
Things are going well. Everyone has been kind to me, despite the circumstances. Even so, I can't help but miss you. Sometimes I hate Lord Rimuru for what he did. But at the same time, you left him no choice.
I tried to tell you that you didn't understand the foe you were up against. That you and everyone else were underestimating him because he was a slime. He was a human once, too - he doesn't think the way you all do. A monster would never want others to underestimate him - and Lord Rimuru used that to lure you in.
And you...
I don't understand some of the decisions you made. I can't wrap my head around them. You didn't seem like yourself. I wonder if that just meant I didn't know you anymore. I wonder if there was something I could've done to change the outcome.
I know it's pointless to consider things like this.
But I miss you. And blaming myself is easier than accepting that maybe there was nothing I could've done to stop this. To save you.
Love,
Wendy
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Dear Clayman,
The orchestral performance was a great success! I am so proud of everyone. I even had a solo. I played the piece you were most fond of. I didn't tell anyone why I chose the piece I did. I think some of them might have known. Lord Rimuru certainly did. I don't think anything gets by him.
Yuzu and I have been growing stronger. I've leaned in to us as a fighting pair. We were already quite inseparable - but we've only gotten more so recently. I think you'd be proud of our growth!
Lord Rimuru and Lord Milim will be investigating the ruins beneath the castle soon. It sounds like Lord Kazalim will be joining them as 'Kagali'. I feel like I should be doing something about this situation. But what can I do? I cannot betray my family by telling Lord Rimuru to be wary. I cannot reach out to my family to tell them to be equally careful.
And least of all, I cannot go back there myself to intervene, even if I had been invited. I wasn't. I think Lord Rimuru only let me know out of some feeling of obligation to me.
I hope everyone will be alright...
On another note, I made your scones recently. I cried eating them. But I found you in them. If I shared the recipe, Tempest could mass produce them, like they do everything else. But I'm selfish - this is mine . Within the scones, I find memories of you that make me smile as much as they make me cry.
Love,
Wendy