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These were the nights when he’d perch his elbows on the ledge of the Bone-Eater's Well, staring down into its abyss as he wondered what Kagome was doing in her time.
He sniffed the air again. No scent.
Was she still battling those “tests” over there? He still didn’t understand what those were. He thought it was strange he never got to see them when he visited her era, but those "tests" seemed pretty powerful considering how much Kagome was freaking out about them all the time. She had to fight a big one the very last time he visited — that had to have been a year ago now.
Kind of a shame her bow was left here, he thought. What a waste. Her spiritual powers had just gotten so strong. Maybe it could’ve helped her against those “tests.”
He hoped she was okay. He hoped her family was okay, too, and that they haven't had a reason to worry about her since that day. As for him, he knew he had no reason to worry about Kagome. She was safe over there.
But, oh did he wish, he could go see for himself.
Sometimes, Inuyasha could get by his visits to the well without choking up. But sometimes, like this time, he’d find the empty pit of the well peppered by his tears from above.
At first, he wasn’t sure what was going on with him. He felt calm, but his chest ached. Kagome was no longer here, but he refused to let Kaede release the beads of subjugation that hung around his neck. He knew Kagome was safe, but he still felt a dull sadness.
It wasn’t until one quiet night, Sango said, “I miss her so much, that Kagome."
Ah. So that’s what this pain deep in his heart was.
Kagome permeated so much of the space in his mind, that when Shippō, Miroku, Sango, Kin-Gyo and Hisui were no longer providing blissfully rowdy distractions, and when the comforting daytime ruckus of the village would die down for the night, it was a matter of time that his mind would wander back to that girl he used to spend all of his days with.
That girl he loved with his whole existence.
Kagome. He doesn’t say her name out loud as much as he used to. Did he take it for granted? Being able to call out to her whenever he wanted? Because now, her name was just a reverberating reminder of her absence.
He hadn't heard her voice in a long time, but, like a faint echo from the depths of his memory, he still remembered what she sounded like. He wanted to hear her calling out his name again. He wanted to hear her giddy laughter ring through his ears. He wanted to breathe her scent, see her smile, watch her goofy mischief, and be teased by her for no good reason. He wanted to feel the warmth of her body pressed against his back. He wanted to see her and her tousled hair, even her pouty, angry face before she uttered the words of subjugation he was so afraid of.
Inuyasha missed all of her.
He let out a shaky, frustrated sigh, hastily wiping his strand of tears away with his sleeve.
While he wasn't alone on this side of the well, it didn't help him to be around Miroku and Sango sometimes. It's not because he didn't appreciate their frequent invites to dinner, or more trivial matters like walking to the market, drying laundry, or chatting by the moonlit river with Shippō — but because seeing them made him miss her a little harder.
The laughter they shared between themselves. The tender looks they would give each other. The playful pushes Sango couldn't help giving Miroku sometimes because of another silly thing he'd say. In the past, he didn't think much of those gestures. He saw them all the time between those two. But these days, he felt himself pining for a reality in which he could do the same with Kagome, too.
What would that feel like? He wondered, exhaling a chuckle from the thought. It seemed so far away from where he was.
Despite everything, he was still doing okay. He was still living a peaceful life, one he once thought he didn’t deserve to have. He cherished this new life, living in Kaede's village with his friends. The village folk looked to him with kind eyes that he had finally gotten used to. He was often invited to the town's festivities, which he didn’t care too much for, but went anyway.
Though without Kagome by his side, this new life just felt shy of being complete.
Will he ever see her again? He didn't know. Yet, he vowed that he would never lose hope — because losing hope meant losing her, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.
If she ever could come back, he knew exactly what he’d do. Until then, he will keep going back to the well. He will keep going back to the place where they first met.
Until then, he will wait.