Archive of Our Own

It was December 20th. The League had decorated their hideout, invited Giran over, and was deciding who’s the best baker. 

Twice had already tried baking, and Dabi was 90% sure he made something that was considered a nuclear biohazard. The rest of the League made sure that Twice did not know this however, and pretended to eat the cookies and told him they were amazing.

Toga had baked blood into the cookies she made, and even though Twice tried sparing her feelings, the others weren’t so lenient. Twice had ended up being sick for a day or two after he ate one, so she was out of the question.

Mr.Compress’s cookies were fine, but Dabi’s were great. They had the perfect amount of chocolate chips, were perfectly cooked, and were just the right amount of sweet. He was obviously the best baker.

“Dude, these are amazing! They suck! ” Twice exclaims, trying to sneak another cookie. Dabi promptly smacks his hand away.

“One’s enough, Double Trouble. We gotta save these.” He said sternly.

Toga, while Dabi was yelling at Twice, grabbed the entire plate and ran away. Twice scrambled after her, despite Dabi’s anger.

“GET BACK HERE!!”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!! I SURRENDER! ” 

“I’M NOT PLANNING TOO!”

Fireballs whizzed past Shigaraki and Spinner as they were downloading the christmas update to their favorite game. Apparently, if you re-beat the third boss, you get a ton of loot.

“Spinner, you better help me beat him again. He was hard enough the first time, and as your leader, you need to help me.” He rasped out, clutching his controller.

“No problem, boss!” Spinner responded.

Incoherent yelling could be heard, and the smell of fake tree plastic burning wafted through the halls.

“They’re so dead.” Spinner cackles.

On December 21st, the league made a discovery.

The League were sitting in the living room, playing Uno and eating cookies.

“Hey Dabi, are you gonna make more of these for Santa? Can we poison them ?!” Twice says, seemingly out of nowhere. Dabi cocks his head, and starts laughing.

“You still believe in Santa??” He speaks, fitting the words between his laughter.

“Yeah! Course I do. He’s very real .” Twice says, a little bit grumpily.

Before Dabi can get another word in, Toga drags him out of the room. Shigaraki, Mr. Compress and Spinner following behind them. They all enter Shigaraki’s room, and Toga sits Dabi down.

“Twice still believes in Santa!” She says, hands on her hips, staring at Dabi. “And he’ll be heart-broken if he finds out he’s not real.”

“Yeah, Stitches. Twice can’t fight when he’s sad, you know. And.. I dunno, don’t wanna ruin christmas or something.” Shigaraki mumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“So don’t tell him otherwise, got it?!” Spinner whisper-yells, pointing at him.

“Got it, Got it. Don’t get your tail in a twist, Lizard.”

Before Spinner could respond, Toga said, “We also have to get present for everyone and address them from Santa. Other than the presents we already got each other. You know what that means..”

Toga waited on the others responses. After around a minute of silence, she sighed and yelled.

“STEALING SPREE 2!”

Dabi groaned. They had all already stolen stuff for each other. Mr. Compress and Toga may like it, but Dabi thought it was a bore. But, he supposed, if Twice was sad, he wouldn’t be useful for his plans.

“Fine..” He mumbles.

“Yippee!” Toga yells, jumping up and down.

Twice pokes his head in the room, asking “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” They all yell, a little bit too quickly, in sync. But Twice wasn’t going to look into it.

“Wanna play Uno?”

December 22nd was the day that Giran informed them he wouldn’t be able to make it. Apparently he had to flee to Mexico or something.

“Why Mexico?” Shigaraki asked after Twice had hung up.

“Dunno. S’pose its far enough that they won’t suspect it though.” Dabi answered.

Twice was too disappointed to care where Giran was, so they all played a few games of Uno to cheer him up.

This, however, did not cheer him up.

“+4!” Toga cheered as she placed down her card.

Twice drew four cards.

Shigaraki placed down a blue 7 after Twice was skipped.

“Reverse.” Dabi muttered as he placed down his card.

“+2.” Shigaraki said, placing down his card.

Twice drew 2 cards.

Toga placed down a yellow 4, then Spinner placed an Uno reverse.

“I change the color to red!” She squeals, placing down a wild card.

Finally, Twice thought. He would get to place down some cards.

He had no red.

He ended up taking 12 cards before getting a red 8.

All of him groaned in disappointment.

“I’m gonna go back to my apartment.” He said, standing up and taking off his mask.

As soon as he left, the entire league cringed.

“What the heck was that, Toga?! You know how serious he gets with Uno.”

“It was my only compatible caaaaaaaaaard,” She whined. “And plus, you didn’t need to reverse that. And Shiggy didn’t need to do a plus 2.”

“It’s Lizards fault for that Uno reverse.”

“You did it first!”

The argument devolved into a blame game. It was decided that it was no one’s fault, and that next time, they were going to let Twice win.

“How long does he normally stay away?” Toga asks.

“A few days. That means its the perfect time to steal the gifts ‘from Santa.” Shigaraki replies. “Get the magician and we can get going.”

As if summoned, Mr. Compress appeared in the doorway. “Did you call, Shigaraki?”

The entire remaining League jumps, but quickly recovers and gets ready.

Toga tugged on her coat, Dabi pulled on his sweatshirt, Shigaraki threw on a heavy coat and mittens, Mr.Compress wore his usual trench coat, and Spinner bundled up tight in full WinterGear.

They quickly made their way to the mall, making sure Spinner was close to Dabi’s warm body. It was busy this time of year, but if they got too annoyed, Shigaraki could always murder someone and clear the place out. Fool-proof, really.

As they were passing Hot Topic, Toga asked, “Does Twice like ChainsawMan? The T-Shirts are super close to the outside.”

“He doesn’t. But I do.” Dabi answers. “We also have to get Santa Gifts for ourselves to make it look more ‘authentic’.”

“Ooh! Do you think they have those cute Sanrio plushes? I don’t know much about them but they’re adorable!!” Toga squeals. “Can we go in please Mister?”

“Fine, Toga. Quickly in and out. Point to what you want.” Mr. Compress said, sighing. He didn’t believe these news stores were as good as the old ones.

Toga picked out a Hello Kitty plush and Dabi snagged some new earrings. They were marbleized quickly, and they left swiftly. 

“Where to next, Shigaraki?” Spinner questioned. “Game stop?”

“I don't know where Twice shops, so we’ll go there next.” Shigaraki said, swiftly heading in the direction of our Gamestop. “The new game’s out and I want to play it.”

Mr. Compress followed Shigaraki and Spinner into GameStop, where he marbleized a copy of Shigaraki’s game and got Spinner a Funko Pop. Mr. Compress headed towards the direction of…

“Victoria’s Secret.” He said in a dreamy tone.

“WHAT?!” The entire League shouted.

“What are you buying at Victoria’s Secret?!” Dabi whisper-shouted.

“I like their lotion. It helps my hands stay smooth, and the smoother my hands, the better my quirk works.” He replied, whisking into the store. He came out 30 minutes later.

“It doesn’t take that long to find lotion.” Shigaraki mutters in his raspy tone. 

“How would you know, crusty?” Dabi chuckles.

“Nevermind” Shigaraki says quickly. “Let’s go.”

“But-” Toga begins, but is cut off by the other League members walking out of the store. She followed behind them.

December 23rd was an uneventful day. Twice did not show up, and he was the one who suggested to build GingerBread houses. They would wait for tomorrow.

The day was spent wrapping all the presents. Toga drew on all the presents she wrapped. For Dabi’s, she drew a grumpy burnt chicken nugget. For Compress’s, she drew a top hat and cards. For Shigaraki’s, she drew hands. She wasn’t very good, but she tried. And For Spinner’s, she drew his Super Knife-Knife Sword.

Mr. Compress wrapped his in elegant wrapping paper and perfect technique. He made sure they were all concealed and the object underneath could not be guessed.

Dabi wrapped his in waxing paper, and melted it around his gifts. It was see-through, but he didn’t really care.

Shigaraki got his wrapping paper waay back in July in the bargain bin. It had penguins in hats and scarves on it. His wrapping skills were good despite the fact that he could only use four fingers.

Spinner’s fingers stuck to the wrapping paper, but he still did good. His wrapping paper had lizards all over it.

Twice had left all his presents in his room at the base, so he didn’t wrap them that day. He went out in the cold, to go grocery shopping. He got his milk for the week and cereal. The League didn’t see him all day.

December 24th was the day that Twice came back to his base. After he wrapped his presents, he came out of his room and brandished 6 gingerbread making kits.

“We can each make our own!” He exclaimed, putting them on the table. “And then we can vote on the best one!

Nobody said so, but this was a very kind gesture from Twice. Considering the fact that he lost all his money after the incident.

“Okay!” Toga cheered, taking the boxes and opening them.

They distributed the cookies and icing.

“The rules are:

1. We have 1 hour to make a gingerbread house.
2. No eating ingredients!
3. Once everyone is finished, we vote on our favorite.”

Twice concluded, trying to be serious. But then, he shouted out. “1 2 3 GO!”

1 Hour Later…

The contest was over.

Dabi’s house was the bare minimum. He put it together and added MnM’s.

Toga’s house looked like a murder scene. After she put the house together, she died the icing red. She made the gingerbread men bleed. The house was strewn with red icing, and one of the windows was broken.

“10!” Twice shouted, despite voting time not starting yet.

Speaking of Twice, his Gingerbread house was chaos. His house was slightly unstable, and most of the candy was unsecured. The walls were crumbling slightly, somehow despite being nowhere near water. But there was GingerBread people painted to look like the league. There was a mini Toga, Compress, Spinner, Shigaraki, Dabi, and Twice. It looked like the one thing both of them agreed on for the design.

Shigaraki’s looked a lot like Dabi’s, with slightly more candy. The GingerBread people were crushed to dust. “Like the real ones” he said.

Spinner made his GingerBread house like the box. The gumdrops on top were red and green, and he made the sugar-y light bulbs hand from the roof. The only difference was the fact that the GingerBread people had hard, icing tails and green skin. 

“Nice.” Shigaraki said.

Mr. Compress’s was the most. Just.. The most. It wasn’t even a house, it was an amphitheater. The curtains were a rich red, the ‘wooden’ parts had golden detailing and were a deep mahogany, and the seats were sculpted. The GingerBread people were dressed in black suits.

It was voting time.

Dabi and Shigaraki were in dead last, with a total of 0 points. Twice and Spinner were next, with 1 point (courtesy of Toga and Dabi). Next was Toga, with 2 points (Both of Twice agreed with it, so they counted it as two.) Mr. Compress won, since everyone just agreed his was the best. 

They set their GingerBread houses on the counter, and all went to bed.

All the League members (excluding Twice) set out their presents ‘From Santa’. That was when they realized that they forgot an extremely important detail.

They forgot to get Twice a present.

“Shigaraki! We need to go back to the mall!” Toga whisper-yelled.

“There is no way in hell I am risking getting arrested for a Christmas present.” Shigaraki responded sternly.

“But Jin’s gonna be heart-broken!” She whined. “He’ll be depressed for weeks and weeks!”

“We gotta make up an excuse. Maybe ‘Sorry, Santa must’ve gotten your present lost’ or some crap like that!” Spinner whispered, picking up some of the cookies Twice had left out.

“We could break in-” Dabi started, but quickly backed off at Shigaraki’s glare.

Mr.Compress, after thinking for a few minutes, took off his mask. His eyes were shining. “You know I love a bit of dramatic flare, darlings.”

“He has a plan.” Shigaraki groaned.

“He has a plan!” Toga cheered (And quieted down after a glower from Dabi).

After a few minutes of explaining from Mr.Compress, the entire league nodded and murmured in agreement. “Great Plan, Compress.” 

And with that, the ‘Great Christmas Caper’ (as Compress dubbed it, with major complaints from Shigaraki and Dabi.) was underway. Before they went to bed, Toga checked the outgoing mail, which was never picked up in the first place, and found a letter from Twice to santa.

Dear Santa,

Can I have a few things? I don’t want anything was messily erased.

1. Can Hawks come over? He’s been so busy with his hero work, and I miss him! Can you kill him for me?was also messily erased.
2. Dabi really likes this show, it’s called Chainsaw Man. Can you get me the DvD’s for it so we can watch it together?
3. A real professional knife set. One worthy of that angry american chef or whatever!
4. A black sweatshirt. Size A men’s small, I think.
5. A how-to book on video game’s. League of Legends specifically if you want. A small smiley face was drawn next to that one.
6. A magic trick book. Or a how magic tricks work book.

Thanks a ton, Santa! 

-Your biggest fan,

Twice.

She brought it back in and gave it to Mr. Compress. “Here you go, Mister~!”

Then was the easy part. Mr.Compress went into Twice’s room, locked the door, and marbled himself out of there.

“But- Twice’s room locks from the inside. How’s that gonna..?” Spinner asked, cocking his head.

“You’ll have to figure that out later, Spinner dear.” Mr. Compress stated. “And now we wait till morning.”

All the League of villains, though hesitantly, went to their rooms and went to bed.

December 25th.

The next morning, Mr.Compress hastily woke everyone up.

“Phase 2, my comrades.”  He said in a sing-song voice. “Spinner, Toga, and Shigaraki stay here and keep Twice at bay. He will wake up in 30 minutes, and be confused by the lock. He’ll spend another 40 minutes arguing with himself on whether or not he’s being held captive, then 20 minutes after that, finally open the door. If me and Dabi aren’t back by then, distract him until we return.” 

Then, he whisked a still drowsy Dabi out the door.

“Your job is to get Hawks, darling. Please try not to kill him.” He tells Dabi, before rushing off in the direction of the mall.

Dabi, despite not having his morning coffee, decides to just go with it, and rushes off to Hawk’s apartment.

…1 hour later…

Mr.Compress and Dabi meet at the same spot, Mr.Compress’s pocket holding the marbles, and Dabi…

Dragging a bound and gagged Hawks behind him.

“DABI!” Mr.Compress shouts. “..great technique! You have improved ever since I taught you how to tie up stage hands.”

“Or from when you tied me up as your stage hand” Dabi grumbles.

“Great work sweetie!” Mr.Compress sings, before gesturing for him to follow. “We must be going now.”  

Dabi tugs on the rope he was using as a leash for Hawks and follows behind him.

...An hour earlier at the base..

Toga was watching Spinner and Shigaraki playing a game, when they heard Twice yelling.

“Someone help! No, don’t I’m fine! Someone’s holding me captive in my own room!” 

A jiggling of the door knob caught Spinner’s attention. 

“TOGA! PLEASE! Save me! Don’t! I’m figuring out the lock! IT’S NOT TURNING! That’s because you won’t let me! SAVE ME!” He was arguing with himself, as expected.

30 minutes later, the yelling calmed down, but the door knob was still locked. 

Earlier than expected, Mr.Compress and Dabi, with Hawks in tow, ran down the steps.

“Alright, everyone! Final Phase!” Mr.Compress said with a clap. “Wrapping time!”

Toga got out some ribbon and tied up Hawks with it. She then put a bow on his mouth, keeping him quiet, but festively! “You look so cute, Hawksy! Twice is gonna be so glad when he sees you!” She patted him on the head, and went to help the others wrap presents. Hawks was still struggling, put Toga had bound his wings tight with tape, so it was useless.

After 20 minutes of wrapping, just as they finished it, Twice’s door swung open.

“Oh my gosh, guys, the lock on my door was so hard this morning. I don’t think I locked it last night though-” He stopped talking as he walked into the main room. He let out a squeal.

“Oh my gosh, Santa came! And he brought Hawks with! I thought I asked him to kill you!” He says, while running over to the League. 

“Merry Christmas, Everyone!” He says, pulling everyone, including the hostage Hawks, into a big hug. 

Then, they started opening presents.

Togs opened hers first. She got a new plushie from Dabi, a pink game controller from Shigaraki, a Stain-Tee from Spinner, a new jewelry set from Compress, and some new needles from Twice. “It’s from me and Giran! He’s totally useless!” He said, giving her a big hug.

Dabi was next. He got some new staples from Hot Topic from Toga, a dart set from Spinner, high-quality black hair-dye and burn lotion from Mr.Compress, a new pan from Twice and..

“An Endeavor plushie and poster?!” He exclaimed loudly, clutching the plush with an iron grip. “You know me too well, boss!” 

The Endeavor plushie was burnt to a crisp, and the Endeavor poster set with the dart set.

Spinner insisted he was next, so he was. Dabi gave him a Stain poster, Toga got him a Stain plushie, some virtual game currency from Shigaraki, a new sword from Mr.Compress, and scale polish from Twice.

Shigaraki was after him because Mr.Compress and Twice were trying to decide who would go last (With Twice being on both sides.). Toga gave him a hand plushie (where she got it, no one knew), Spinner gave him a new controller, Mr.Compress got him some new red shoes, and both Twice and Dabi got him a ‘World’s Best Boss’ mug. Except Twice knew he didn’t drink coffee, so it was more of an Energy Drink cup. And his was 100% genuine. Dabi’s was more of a mockery, Shigaraki thought, but he was still grateful nonetheless.

Twice, having lost the argument with both himself and Compress, was second to last. He got a new handkerchief from Toga, a Santa hat from Dabi (weird), some action figures from  Spinner, a new Measuring Tape from Shigaraki, and a Top-Hat from Mr.Compress.

Lastly, was Mr.Compress. He got a new coat from Toga, new mask-paint from Spinner, more oil for his arm from Shigaraki, Dabi giving him a best dad ever Mug, and Twice giving him a ‘I’ll let you perform the sawing magic tricks and stuff on me!’ card. Mr.Compress giggled at that last one. “I have a few new tricks that I need you for, Twice.” Was the only answer he gave.

Then, they opened the presents from ‘Santa'.

Toga got her Kuuromi plushie.

Dabi got his ChainsawMan T-Shirt.

Spinner got his Stain Funko-Pop.

Shigaraki got a new copy of his game.

And Twice got all of his stuff. He unwrapped the Magician’s How-To book, the Chainsaw Man, DvDs, The Knife set, The Obviously too-small Sweatshirt, the Gaming book, and finally Hawks, who was ungagged, yet still tied up.

“Merry Christmas, Hawks! I wish you suffocated!” He said, throwing his arms around the bird man.

“I-I.. uhm..” He glanced at Dabi. “Why did Dabi-” One burnt feather later, Hawks shut up. “Merry Christmas Bud.”

“Welp, that’s everyone. Merry Christmas.” Mr. Compress said, grabbing his Santa gift. 

“Wait a minute, Mister! Keep Going! You gotta open your gift from Santa too!” Twice said, catching his shoulder.

“It really isn’t ne-” But Twice already pulled him back to the couch.

Mr. Compress, with shaky hands, opened his present. Inside was…

“Woman’s undies?!” The entire League yelled, before Twice added, “Totally Normal!”