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Peter stares up at the ceiling. His dorm room is dark, the April showers pouring down outside his window. His roommate Harry is out of town for the weekend. Peter has the dorm to himself for a couple of days. The thought of calling a certain someone keeps re-entering his mind. He’ll start to pick up his phone and search for his contact, but then he’ll stop himself, setting his phone back down on his bed. This process has been repeating for the last fifteen minutes.
He could go see Gwen. Gwen always welcomes his company. Gwen is fun and it’s a Friday night and he could be out with her and his other STEM friends.
He picks up his phone again.
He pauses and looks at the contact name for one more second before finally committing. He presses the call button and sits up, becoming nervous. It rings for a couple of seconds before–
“Peter?” Peter releases the breath he had been holding and switches the phone from his left ear to his right, a wide smile appearing on his face.
“Hey, Harls. Harry’s out of town and I was thinking maybe you could come over?” Peter swallows as the static of Harley’s silence bleeds out. Peter knows he shouldn't. He really shouldn't.
“I’ll be over in ten.”
…
He’s coming out of his three o’clock calculus class when he catches sight of a familiar brunette. Harley doesn’t mean to, but he ends up following him. He runs to catch up to him, heart beating out of his chest as he does so.
To Harley, Peter Parker is just as perfect as perfect can get. He’s exceptionally smart, he’s kind and has a big heart, he’s a hard worker, and not to mention he’s downright handsome. He likes most of the things Harley does and the two just get along incredibly well. They talk like they’ve known each other their whole lives and Harley never gets tired of hearing Peter talk.
So yes, Peter Parker is as perfect as perfect can get. Harley loves him. Harley wants Peter to be his and only his and he wants to show him off and support him and care for him. But every time Harley brings up the idea, Peter clams up and gets cold feet. It doesn't make sense.
“Peter!” Harley shouts over other people’s conversations. Peter turns around, honey eyes searching for Harley and when they do find him, his face lights up.
“Harley,” Peter slows down, allowing Harley to walk with him. “How was calculus? Need help with any of your homework?” Peter fiddles with the strap of his backpack, cheeks pink.
“You know, maybe I do.” Harley grins at him and Peter rolls his eyes, not believing him for a second even though he had offered. Peter goes along with Harley’s scheme, knowing where this will end up going.
“Okay, then maybe I can swing by your place at seven?” Peter knocks his shoulder into Harley’s. Harley is so gone for him.
“Seven works.”
…
It’s September and Peter has just finished moving into his dorm on floor three. He chose to room with Harry again because the two got along so well. The only difference this time is that the two actually have different rooms, but share a kitchen and a bathroom. Peter welcomes the small ounce of privacy MIT offers him.
He had done some interning at Stark Industries this past summer, eager to get it on his job resumes for when he graduates. He spent some time with Gwen and Harry during the summer as well. The three had gone on a road trip in July from New York City to Charleston, South Carolina. He had also met up with Harley more than a few times. Sometimes it would be an actual date and the two would talk and talk for hours or sometimes it would just be sex. There’s really no sugar coating it.
Peter likes Harley– hell even loves him. Peter loves Harley, but he’s scared. He’s scared that Harley will leave. Peter’s convinced that everything he touches turns to ash in his palms. He’s scared of messing things up with Harley. He doesn’t want to lose him like he has everyone else. So anytime Harley starts to bring up a relationship, Peter shuts him down. He wants Harley, but he knows he can’t have him. He also knows it’s not fair to Harley to keep hurting him like this. He knows that one of these days Harley will move on from Peter because Peter can’t be what he needs. That also terrifies Peter.
He blinks out of his thoughts as his ringtone pierces the silence of his room. He fumbles for it on his nightstand, not bothering to look at who’s calling.
“Hey darlin’, you all moved in?” Harley .
“Y-yeah! Just got everything unpacked, actually. You called at just the right time.” Peter laughs, sitting down on the side of his bed.
“Well since you’re all unpacked, sugar, do you wanna help me get settled in on floor five?” Peter smiles, already standing up.
“I’ll be right up.”
…
Harley turns, bed sheets shifting with him. It’s almost two in the morning and he hasn’t gotten any sleep. He’s been too stuck in his head about what he should do about Peter.
Harley’s well aware that Peter isn’t interested in a relationship with Harley. He knows that yet anytime Peter calls him he answers without a second thought. Anytime he needs help, Harley’s there to help. Anytime Harley thinks about Peter, he calls and then Peter is there. Peter continues to show up for Harley as well. It doesn't make sense.
It hurts his head to think about.
His phone rings and he picks it up off his nightstand, squinting at the bright screen. It’s Gwen. He furrows his eyebrows and answers.
“Stacey, do you know it’s two in the morning?” Harley complains even though he’s been wide awake this whole time.
“It’s Peter, Harley. He picked a fight he couldn’t win and he’s drunk as shit.” Gwen slurs her words a bit and Harley now understands why she called him instead of handling it herself. “He needs to be picked up and cleaned up.”
“I’ll come and get him. Where are you at?” Harley swings his legs over the edge of the bed, unplugging his phone from its charger and standing.
…
When Harley gets to the frat house he immediately sees Peter, Gwen and Harry-- who is shirtless-- sitting a bit aways from the house on the curb. Peter is pressed in between the two, Harry’s white shirt pressed against Peter’s bloody nose.
Harley quickly puts the car in park, opening his driver's door and jogging over to the three. The closer he gets the rougher Peter looks. His left eyebrow is split open, blood dripping down onto his lashes, his eye is bruised a deep purple and blue, and the bridge of his nose is tilted abnormally and matches the shades of the bruising around his eye.
“Harls!” Peter cheers, abandoning Harry’s bloody shirt. Harry shushes Peter, picking up his shirt and dabbing it underneath Peter’s still dripping nose.
“Hi, baby,” he waves to Peter. “Thank you for the phone call, Stacey. I can take care of him from here.” Harley leans down, hooking his arms underneath Peter’s armpits and standing him up.
“I know you can. Take good care of him, Keener.” She sounds a touch more sober than she did on the phone. He nods at her and Harry, keeping an arm around Peter’s shoulder.
…
Peter walks into Harley’s dorm, sobered up enough to do so. Harley leads him into his bathroom and points to the toilet seat, instructing him to sit. Peter obeys, eyes closed and eyebrows pulled together. Harley can tell the pain is getting to him.
“Why are you goin’ around and pickin’ fights you know you can’t win?” Harley sighs, opening his bathroom cabinet and pulling out a med kit his mama had convinced him to take with him in the move. He had sworn up and down he would be fine without it, but right now he’s grateful that she was so stubborn.
“I didn’t pick the fight.” Harley would’ve missed it if Peter had said it any quieter. Harley sets out the cotton pads and disinfectant on the counter.
“You didn’t pick the fight, huh? This ain’t the first time I’ve heard about this happenin’ with you, honey.” The pet name slips off his tongue like all of them do when he talks to Peter. He squirts the cotton pad with the antiseptic and turns, crouching down in front of Peter. Harley takes in the damage under the fluorescent lights. He looks more bruised than he did on the curb and the split on his eyebrow looks longer than it did. His nose also looks worse somehow.
“I didn’t pick the fight.” Peter says again, jaw clenched and eyes hardened. Harley frowns at him, gently dabbing the cotton pad on the gash in Peter’s eyebrow.
“Okay then who did? Just help me understand what happened?” Harley peers up at Peter as he works, desperate to understand his thought process. Harley can still see the anger in his eyes and in the way his fists have been clenched since the car ride home.
“Carter Bays.” Peter spits out the name, face twisting in anger. Harley’s frown deepens because he knows the expression probably hurts Peter.
“Okay,” Harley breathes, finishing cleaning Peter’s eyebrow. He stands and turns back to the sink, disposing of the bloodied cotton pad. “What did Carter Bays do?” Harley knows the guy is an asshole. He’s an everyday frat boy with rich parents who happens to be on MIT’s football team. He’s heard from more than a handful of people that the guy has an ugly personality.
“Said something stupid.” Peter’s fuse is short tonight and even though Harley knows he’s not the reason it is, he doesn’t dare to light it. It doesn't make sense.
“Okay, well, I’m glad you’re okay,” Peter raises one eyebrow at Harley as if to say ‘are you serious?’ and Harley corrects himself. “Mostly okay. I’m sure whatever stupid thing he said about you wasn’t worth picking a fight over–” Peter scoffs and Harley turns to face him head on. “But it’s all said and done now, so it doesn’t matter.” Harley can see the tension seep out of Peter’s body. The fight that was there a second ago is all drained from him now.
“I’m sorry.” Harley hears the way Peter’s voice wobbles and Harley’s heart breaks. He turns back to Peter and crouches down again, another soaked cotton pad in hand.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry for the way this is about to sting.” Harley reaches for Peter's face and tilts his head down gently. He leans up and plants a soft kiss on his hairline and returns Peter to his position. Harley doesn’t miss the way Peter’s cheeks flush.
…
Peter hates winter. He hates winter with everything in him. The cold bites through his thick coat and scarf and he groans, crossing his arms across his chest and tucking his uncovered hands into his armpits.
He’s heading back to his dorms after his last day of classes and what should be a happy day has been turned soured by all of the snow piling up on the ground. He was supposed to leave early in the morning tomorrow for winter break, but he’s now sure he’ll be spending an extra couple of days in his dorm.
He blinks snowflakes from his eyelashes and feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He frowns and untucks his hands, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He looks at the caller ID and he stops breathing for a moment.
It’s Harley.
He hasn’t really spoken to Harley since the night he had picked him up from that stupid frat party Gwen and Harry had convinced him to go to in late October. Harley had cleaned Peter up and picked up his shattered pieces that night. He had been so gentle and kind in a way Peter didn’t deserve.
After that night he had put some distance between the two. He wouldn’t answer Harley’s phone calls, but he would listen to every voicemail he would leave. Peter wouldn’t text back until a day or two later, claiming he was entirely way too busy with classes like chemistry and advanced physics. He would avoid Harley in the lecture halls and around campus. Peter knew that Harley knew that it was all bullshit, but he put the distance between them anyway.
The thing is, Peter doesn’t have the energy to ignore Harley today. It takes more energy to ignore Harley than to face him– that’s what is so great about Harley. Peter kinda hates it.
He accepts the call and holds it up to his ear, not daring to say the first word.
“Oh shit– you answered.” Peter grimaces, hating that Harley had been ready for Peter to ignore him. He shouldn’t be surprised. That’s what he’s been doing for the past month.
“Yeah.” Peter breathes, breath puffing out in front of his face.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me and I’m thankful that you’re talking to me now,” Harley starts and Peter’s heart aches at the way Harley’s voice cracks. “But I was wondering if you would want to stay over tonight. I just…” Harley doesn’t speak for a few moments and Peter doesn’t fill the silence. “I miss you. I miss you and I just want to know what I did wrong. I just want things to be back to the way they were.” Peter trudges up the snow covered stairs to his and Harley’s building door. He pulls the door open and slumps his shoulders as the warmth hits him.
“I don’t know, Harley.” Peter doesn’t give an explanation for why he doesn’t know because he can’t. He wants to lie to Harley and tell him that he’s gotta pack but he packed last night. He can’t lie to Harley– only avoid him. And even now he fails at both.
“I’ll make it up to you, whatever I did, I swear, Peter. I just miss you.” Peter can hear the emotion in Harley’s voice through the phone. It stabs him in the heart like a jagged knife.
“I’ll be up soon.” Peter hangs up the call before Harley can say anything else and heads to the stairs, dragging out the time before he crumbled before Harley.
He knows this is the ultimatum. He knows this is what breaks him. He knows that when he comes out of Harley’s room he’ll be changed– for better or worse, he doesn’t know.
He’s sweating by the time gets to his floor, coat and scarf unbearably hot. He walks down the hall and unlocks his door, stepping inside.
Harry had his last class yesterday, so he had left this morning, promising to be back after New Years when Peter would get back. Lucky for Harry, he had missed the avalanche of snow falling out of the clouds.
Peter sheds his coat and scarf, unable to believe that the winter storm had been some cruel twist of fate.
If it hadn’t snowed, Peter could’ve said that he was leaving early in the morning, not being able to see Harley. He wouldn’t have had to lie to Harley or avoid him. It just would’ve been a simple chance of fate. Peter should know better than to trust things will go the way he plans. He is a Parker.
He changes into another sweatshirt and some sweatpants, his jeans damp from the mix of snow and slush. Once he’s done changing, he leaves his room and opts for the elevator, itching to get this confrontation over with.
The hallways are empty, most students had left yesterday like Harry. Only the advanced engineering students remained because of their finals wrapping up today. Harley had been a part of that group along with another handful of people that were in Peter’s building. The building was almost too quiet now.
He presses the ‘up’ button on the wall and the door slides open immediately, letting Peter in. His heart leaps into his throat when he presses floor five. He’s been in this exact position countless times before this semester. It’s nothing new to him.
The doors open and Peter exits, knowing the path to Harley’s room like the back of his hand. Once he arrives, he stands there for a moment, wondering if this is the best idea. Maybe he should just turn around and go back down to his floor. He’ll lock the door and turn his phone on do not disturb until the snow clears.
He knocks on the door and Harley is there in an instant, opening it up. Their eyes meet and Peter knows he can’t leave now. Harley is a magnetic force that attracts him and keeps him close. He always has been.
“Peter.” Harley steps aside, allowing Peter to come in and he does, legs moving on their own. Harley closes the door behind them and Peter leads the way, knowing where Harley’s room is.
Harley walks in after him and closes the door even though his roommate is also gone.
“Peter, I just need you to tell me what’s going on.” Peter stands across the room from Harley, back facing him as he looks out the window, watching the countless snowflakes fall to the ground beneath them.
“I don’t know.” It’s reminiscent of the night Harley had picked him up. It makes Peter’s throat tight.
“That’s-that’s bullshit!” Peter turns quickly, eyes wide and locked on Harley. Harley has never raised his voice at Peter. There have been numerous times where Harley has held back and kept his voice down. Harley is gentle and soft and sweet and Peter has destroyed it. “You keep pushing me away! I have been nothing but a good friend to you and you’ve been avoiding me for the last month!” He’s destroyed it .
“I’ve been busy, Harley–” Harley lets out something between a scoff and a laugh, anger clear on his face.
“Bullshit. You’re the smartest person at this school and you’re gonna tell me that your classes are keeping you busy? You’ve literally told me you get the homework done in class, Peter!” Harley threads his hands through his hair, eyes squeezed closed. He stands like that for what seems like eternity and Peter holds his breath. Finally, Harley’s shoulders slump and his arms drop to his sides. He opens his eyes and looks at Peter like he can see right through him. “Just be honest with me. I can take rejection– I just can’t take whatever game you’re playing now.”
Peter releases the breath he had been holding and with it crumbles his facade. Tears spring to his eyes and he tries to swallow down the lump in his throat.
“I’m scared.” Peter hates how shaky his voice sounds. He hates how upset he is right now. He doesn’t deserve to be upset– he’s the one being an ass.
Harley closes the distance between them, but doesn’t touch Peter. Peter stares at the floorboards, hoping they swallow him up.
“Scared of what?” Harley pushes, voice a stark contrast to the yelling it had been just seconds ago.
“Scared of losing you. I-I’m scared of loving you and having you and wanting to spend forever with you and then losing you.” Peter dares to look up at Harley, still keeping his tears at bay somehow. “Everyone that I love leaves or dies. I can’t have that happen with you. I can’t.” He doesn’t explain why he can’t lose Harley because he thinks Harley understands him.
Harley’s face falls and he’s pulling Peter in, hugging him against his chest. It makes sense.
Peter fully crashes now, tears spilling over his cheeks and hands gripping desperately at the back of Harley’s sweater.
“I’m not going anywhere if I can help it, sweetheart.” The pet name melts Peter and he sinks further into Harley. “I’m not going anywhere.” Harley repeats, one of his hands moving up to the back of Peter’s neck. They stay like that until Peter’s arms are asleep and he’s pulling away.
“I love you. I’ve loved you since the spring semester of freshman year,” Peter blurts. He says it so suddenly, but he’s never been so sure of anything.
“I love you too, darlin’.” Peter thinks Harley’s smile is bright and warm enough to melt the snow on the ground. Harley is a warm cup of coffee on a winter day. He’s the sunshine after a heavy rainfall in April. He’s a warm desk light on a late night of studying. Harley Keener is as close to perfect as you can get, Peter thinks.
Peter cups Harley’s cheeks, tilting his head down to meet Peter as he leans up. He presses his lips to Harley’s and his thumbs brush the apple of his freckled cheeks. Harley kisses him back, hands resting on Peter’s hips and pulling him in like he has countless times before.
This isn’t the first time they’ve kissed. But this is the first time they’ve both loved each other openly. Peter doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough.
…
“You never told me what Bays said that one night to piss you off.” Harley hums, flipping to the next page in his mechanics book. They’re both laying on Peter’s bed. Harley rests his back against the wall and Peter lays his head in his lap, legs propped up on the wall. Peter hadn’t been doing homework, just keeping Harley company.
It’s the fall semester of their senior year at MIT. Peter is graduating with a doctorate in biochemical engineering (which Harley can’t seem to stop singing his praises about) and Harley is getting his masters in mechanical engineering with a minor in business. Harley plans to take over Stark Industries from Tony after he graduates and Peter plans to help Harley, but also teach part time at Empire State in New York.
Peter opens his eyes at Harley’s words, squinting up at the ceiling and pursing his lips. Harley peers down at Peter and sets his book aside. Peter sits up and moves to sit next to Harley.
“That was the Halloween party our sophomore year, right?” Peter knows exactly which one it was, but asks Harley anyway.
“That’s the one. Do you remember?” Harley turns, his head resting on the wall he leans against, awaiting a response from Peter.
“I do, yes.” Peter smirks, purposefully not giving Harley a response right away. Harley rolls his eyes at his antics.
“And that was?” Harley asks, raising his eyebrows in question. Peter looks at the wall across from them, studying the pictures of them and all of their friends that hang on the once plain, white wall.
“He called you some pretty cruel names.” Peter won’t say what they were unless Harley asks. Peter turns his gaze to Harley who looks more than displeased.
“What did he say?” Peter frowns, hoping he wouldn’t have to retell those words to Harley himself.
“He called you a stupid queer with daddy issues. There was more after that, but I stopped listening and started punching.” Peter smiles sheepishly. Harley laughs and takes Peter’s hand that had been sitting beside him.
“I mean he’s not wrong– besides the stupid part. But he definitely could’ve been more original.” Harley continues to laugh and Peter smiles.
“He was totally jealous when you said you were graduating with a masters degree early. I think he was feeling insecure in his own skin that night.” Peter shrugs, thumb tracing Harley’s knuckles.
“I wouldn’t doubt it. He and the whole college knows that he’s only here on a football scholarship. Which, don’t get me wrong, football is impressive, but it’s an engineering school. Hell, even the football team is called the engineers.” Harley sobers up from his laughing and squeezes Peter’s hand. God, Peter loves him so much. “You were so beat up that night. And you scared the crap outta me when you wouldn’t talk about nothin’. I was worried sick about you all week.” Harley whispers, a small, sad smile on his face.
That was the week before Peter had stopped talking to Harley and Harley had spent the week worrying about him.
“I’m sorry for being such an ass.” Peter apologizes, suddenly all too aware of the mood shift between them. Harley looks at Peter for a long moment, cerulean eyes tracing his face. The room is quiet and it would make Peter’s skin crawl if it were anyone else other than Harley.
“It’s okay now. I’m just glad I was too stubborn. And now I love snow.” Harley’s smile is no longer dismal and he gives Peter a quick peck on the lips.
“I still hate the snow, but I do love you.” Peter smiles back at him. Peter doesn’t worry about Harley leaving him anymore. Harley shows him abounding love everyday and reassures Peter through his actions and his words. Peter has no reason to worry anymore.
Peter will call Harley again and he’ll answer. Harley will call Peter again and he’ll answer.
Peter knows that Harley will be there with him, day after day. They’ve got their whole lives ahead of them and Peter couldn’t be more excited to spend it with the person he loves most.