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His grip tightens on the steering wheel in front of him and his blue eyes glance down to his phone, the GPS lit up in the darkness of his car. He doesn’t have much further to drive and the closer he gets to Columbus, the more he can feel his nerves thrumming through his entire body. Inhaling slowly, he exhales even slower. “Relax,” he scolds himself, moving his eyes to the rearview mirror. The headlights from the car behind him light his face just enough to see his reflection. “It’s just David .” Except, it’s not just Dave anymore. Not since the last time they saw either other. This wasn’t just anything. This was something. He doesn’t know what exactly but he knows it’s unlike anything he’s ever experienced before in his life.
Quickly checking over his shoulder, he clicks on his blinker to avoid an exit-only lane. In the millisecond it takes for his eyes to blink he can see the look on Dave’s face as he leans in closer, the electric current transferring from Dave’s fingertips to the underlayer of his skin. It feels just as fresh as that night and it causes him to inhale sharply.
Only an hour into being at his ten-year high school reunion and Kurt was regretting showing his face. He'd spent the better part of his time there fielding questions about the fiancé he hadn't even seen for years. Not his life in New York, not his career, nothing other than his failed relationship from what felt like a lifetime ago. He had hoped that seeing some of his old friends might be fun or having the glee club together under one roof for old time’s sake might bring an impromptu performance but unfortunately, most of them were too busy to make it. That only made him feel worse-- maybe he should’ve faked being busy.
“Oh that’s so sad, I’m so sorry…!”
“Eh,” he scrunched his nose, uninterested in feigning even a remotely apologetic reaction. “It’s not really that sad.”
After telling about the tenth person-- whose name he would not have remembered if not for the name tag on her shirt-- that he and Blaine had broken up years ago, Kurt was wildly uninterested in continuing on with anymore conversations the rest of the night. With a soft huff, he downed the drink in his hand and placed it on a nearby table before going to get himself one last double shot of anything mixed with Diet Coke.
“Whoa, I guess someone grew out of sipping Shirley Temples, huh?” A voice from behind called out that Kurt immediately recognized. When he turned towards the voice, David Karofsky was standing there in a well-tailored suit and tie, along with a half-empty glass of something fizzy. “Better slow down there or this party will really get out of control,” he joked, broadly gesturing to the dozens of adults who were all having separate but equally banal conversations with each other.
A genuine smile and laugh was pulled from Kurt’s lips as he looked at his old friend. Suddenly he wasn’t regretting his choice to show up anymore. “It’s already pretty wild,” he nodded as he looked around to the bland crowd in front of them, “I have to keep up.” He took a sip of his fresh drink.
With a wry laugh, Dave downed the rest of his drink so he could get another. “Clearly this was a party school and I didn’t even know it; man, was everyone at this school always so lame? I’m surprised you even showed up to this thing-- last I heard you were schmoozing it up in New York.”
“Yeah, well,” Kurt shrugged. “I’m back home for a little while. Family stuff.” He waved it off, not really wanting to get into it right then and there. “I still technically live in New York, but I'm subletting my apartment right now while I’m here.”
While Dave’s attention was on getting a new drink, he let himself take a good look at the man in front of him. He somehow looked completely different and yet it was like he hadn’t changed a bit. He’d grown more mature and with that more handsome and it made something inside of Kurt’s stomach flitter about. “What… What about you? Are you in town just for this?” He realized then how terrible he’d been at keeping in touch or keeping up with anyone from home and suddenly he felt guilty for being mad at the girl whose name he had already forgotten again.
Dave nodded, wearing a confident grin. “Yeah, I live closer to Columbus now for work but I got a hotel in town just in case this reunion got out of control. Clearly, judging from this crowd that was a super smart investment,” he said with a little laugh. His expression softened a little as he looked at Kurt. “I’m glad you’re here, though; I honestly didn’t expect to run into you here. It’s been such a long time since we last saw each other…”
Kurt felt something hanging in the air between them as their eyes met, Dave’s statement settling in his mind. “Yeah,” he said, tilting his head a little. “Why is that?” He pondered aloud, less of a question for Dave exclusively and more of a general wonder.
“Dunno,” Dave replied with a little shrug. Life was weird in the way that it moved so quickly and slowly at the same time. It had been years since they’d last seen or talked to each other yet here they were at their ten-year reunion picking up right where they’d last left off. “I’m just glad you’re here now. You-- Well, you look good. I mean, you always looked good but y’know, now you look like, ‘New York’ good.”
A small rush of heat painted Kurt’s cheeks pink as he glanced down with a slightly bashful smile. Dave’s compliment caused the flitter to return. “Yeah, well, thanks,” he chuckled as his blue eyes lifted to Dave’s again. “You obviously do, too. You’ve still got that… ruggedly handsome thing going for you.” He motioned vaguely towards his friend, biting on his bottom lip briefly before taking a generous sip of his drink.
Dave raised a hand up to his jaw, rubbing at his buzzed, bristly beard. “Once a bear, always a bear, I guess,” he said with another laugh. He was a cheerful man, a wild contrast to the moody and closeted teenager he was more than ten years ago. It was heartwarming and Kurt liked it. Briefly, Dave looked around them as if to survey their immediate surroundings, as if looking for someone and Kurt knew exactly who. “You here alone…?” He asked nonchalantly as he sipped his beverage, clearly asking about Blaine but not wanting to be obvious.
Kurt’s exhaled a soft chuckle, his eyes didn’t leave Dave’s as he nodded. “Yeah, I am. You?” His eyebrows raised, not occurring to him until now that even though he was currently single, Dave could very well not be.
“Yeah,” Dave answered. “Wanna go find someplace else to talk? It feels a little crowded in here, y’know?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do. C’mon,” Kurt nodded towards a less crowded corner of the room. He remembered noting that spot earlier in the night; it wasn’t being occupied by tables or old peers from his teenage days. He’d planned on hiding there if the night had gone sour but he fully didn’t expect to be spending the entire evening standing there with his old friend. Dave actually asked first about his life in New York and Kurt got to share for the first time that evening that he dropped out of NYADA and ended up pursuing his career at Vogue-- where he was still very much thriving. He eventually also shared that his and Blaine’s engagement had ended before they could even really begin planning a wedding and he wasn’t exactly sad about it. It was for the best and he and Blaine both knew that.
Kurt learned that Dave had managed to pursue a career in sports marketing and even though he never left Ohio, he was happy to be in the city and most of all free to be exactly who he wanted to be. The way Dave talked about his life being out of the closet was so refreshing and it warmed Kurt’s heart to see that things really did get better for him. He also learned that the taller had a handful of failed relationship stories, and he’d decided to just stop trying to find a relationship, instead sticking to strictly being single and casually dating.
“It’s rough out there,” Dave scoffed with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “I mean, surely my standards can’t be that high, right?”
Kurt let out a melodic laugh. “Well, I mean, you did go after me once-- they’re clearly pretty high,” he said with a crinkle of his nose. Even though he was the one who said it, his cheeks flushed again, a teasing smile on his lips.
Kurt’s little remark made Dave chuckle as a faint blush appeared on his cheeks as well. “Very true-- maybe everyone just pales in comparison to you,” the taller man said, shrugging as his eyes lifted back to catch Kurt’s. His words had caused Kurt’s heart to skip a beat and for a moment they just smiled at each other. Before anything else could be said or done, Dave spoke up again. “Man, that feels like eons ago…”
Kurt exhaled a soft laugh, having been holding his breath. “Yeah, yeah, it does…” he bit the inside of his cheek as his blue eyes couldn’t be torn from Dave’s. The tension between them was something he hadn’t experienced in quite some time but even still, he recognized the feeling. “Yet, it kinda seems like just yesterday...” His words were soft but they still carried weight as they hung in the air. He’d be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind; he often wondered if he’d been so blinded by his puppy love for Blaine that he couldn’t see what had been in front of him all those years ago.
With a small hum, Dave looked out at the space they were in; something clearly on his mind. “Yeah, I feel the same way. If you could do it all over again knowing what you knew now, would you?”
Kurt didn’t follow Dave’s line of sight, instead keeping his eyes on his friend’s profile. He felt a twinge of regret tugging at his heart. He was quiet as he thought over Dave’s question, giving it a proper moment before he answered honestly. “No.”
Dave turned back to look at Kurt and caught his eye, the two of them just staring at each other again. Their ever-growing tension was palpable and caused the taller man to pause before speaking, a soft, handsome smile gracing his face. “Me neither.”
The hours passed and the conversation between them flowed effortlessly even after catching each other up on the last few years. Too engrossed with each other, neither had even noticed their drinks had long since been empty, and even then neither was interested to leave to get a refill. They fell into an easy ebb and flow of comfortable conversation and flirtation; a laugh here, a suggestive comment there, the blush on both of their cheeks seemingly permanent. They were both well aware of their attraction to one another, and they must’ve looked so unapproachable to the outside eye because thankfully no one bothered them the rest of the evening.
“If I could go back in time and tell myself everything was gonna work out, I would. I think part of me thought I was gonna be stuck in this town for the rest of my life with no way out,” Dave expressed, his tie now loosened around his neck as the evening was winding down.
“I think that might’ve helped you,” Kurt agreed as he turned his head to look at Dave. He was leaning with his back against the wall for support, his feet aching a little from how long they’d been standing there. He didn’t dare mention it, though, afraid that once they said goodbye for the evening it would be the last time they ever saw each other. “I’m really proud of you, you know,” he said honestly with a little smile. He glanced down for a moment, shrugging one of his shoulders. “It’s really nice to see you thriving.”
Dave grinned a little wider then and puffed out his chest-- most likely subconsciously-- as he was praised. It caused Kurt to laugh gently. Dave’s ego was visibility boosted and he found it incredibly attractive. “Thanks; I’m really happy with who I am. I feel like I really have my shit together… at least most of the time, anyway,” the taller man said.
Kurt just smiled at his friend. “I’m happy you’re happy…” Biting the inside of his cheek, he could feel the warmth returning as his next words slipped out of his mouth. “It looks really good on you.”
With a bashful laugh, Dave couldn’t help but look away. “Aw, jeez, you’re makin’ me blush here, Kurt.” When finally looked back at his friend, his expression softened as their eyes caught each other again. That tension that settled between them was still palpable in the pauses of their conversation. "But thanks, I--" Dave stopped himself from finishing his sentence, shaking his head and breathing out a soft chuckle. "...Never mind."
Narrowing his eyes curiously, Kurt assessed his friend for a moment. "What is it?" He felt it deep down, he knew what-- but he wanted Dave to say it.
"N-no it's--" Dave ducked his head a little, bashfully chuckling as he was unable to look Kurt directly in the eye. He knew he was being transparent but he couldn't help it. "Really, it's nothing." The blush on his face darkened, his smile far from faded.
Kurt's teeth grazed the inner side of his bottom lip. They’d been flirting all night long and it shouldn’t have been a secret that both of them were very interested in taking it further. Still, it was nice to see the confirmation on the taller’s face in the form of a crimson blush. “You don’t have to say anything,” he said, his heartbeat starting to pick up as he spoke boldly from his place against the wall. “You could just kiss me.” The words came out confidently even though they were soft and just for Dave’s ears.
It only took a moment for Dave to consider the suggestion. Without another word, he took a step towards Kurt. He placed his hand on the wall beside Kurt's head, effectively boxing him in against the wall. Their proximity was closer than it had been all night-- Kurt could practically feel the heat radiating off Dave's flushed cheeks and it ignited a small flame in the pit of his stomach.
The older man's eyes flickered down to Kurt's soft, slightly parted lips, and his hand came up to cup the side of Kurt's face. Dave's gentle yet firm touch sent an electric current down Kurt’s heart and his racing heartbeat came to a brief pause. The moment between him telling Dave to kiss him and when Dave finally leaned in and eliminated what space was left between them felt like slow motion but in reality it was only a matter of seconds.
The way that Dave captured Kurt's lips in a deep kiss caused a soft sound to leave the shorter as he returned the kiss. Dave sucked Kurt's bottom lip between his own, his teeth gliding over the smooth skin ever so gently.
Kurt reached to grip the fabric covering Daves’s bicep, his fingers curling around it. He wanted him closer. Tilting his head, their noses brushed against each other as he inhaled Daves’s scent, becoming fully intoxicated and not from the alcohol they'd been drinking all night.
Forcing himself to look at the road that's beginning to blur in front of him, he shakes his head out of the memory. He lets out an incredulous chuckle as a forbidden thought crosses his mind. What if this is it? “You have to stop,” he says outloud to no one but himself. He’s getting ahead of himself and he knows it. He’s got every last dollar to his name tied up in a bet that this ends in nothing but another heartbreak. He has been unlucky when it comes to love and he expects this is no exception. Because he’s not the exception.
Dave even told him himself that he’s done with serious relationships for the time being. It’s clear that Dave has been unlucky in love as well and he seems to be comfortable with his bachelor lifestyle. He isn’t looking for anyone to come take up space in his bed or his life. What makes him think he could ever be the exception?
He’s gone over the scenarios in his mind this entire drive, going back and forth on how this could be the very best thing that’s ever happened to him or it could end in another heartbreak. The latter is what he considered to be the most realistic. Said realistic scenario runs through his mind and it settles the butterflies in his stomach just enough for him to take a normal breath. The image of him pulling up to Dave’s home and knocking on the door begins in his mind:
“Hey,” Dave says with a gentle smile. He’s genuinely happy to see Kurt but there’s something lingering that he can’t quite put his finger on.
Even still, Kurt smiles at the taller. “I brought dessert…! I, um, have no idea if it’s any good because it’s from the store on the corner down there but--” he gestures towards the vague area he’s referencing, an awkward laugh escaping his lips.
This makes Dave smile a little wider, clearly touched by the offering. “You didn’t have to do that,” he chuckled, taking the bag friend before nodding his head once towards the living room. “C’mon in,” He steps back to let Kurt in.
“Yeah, well, this was kinda last minute and I didn’t want to come empty-handed.” He awkwardly follows Dave to his kitchen, watching as the taller man takes the cake out of the bag.
“Oh hell yeah, I love confetti cake…!” Dave exclaims as he pops the plastic top off the dessert before rummaging through a nearby drawer to pull out a couple of forks.
Kurt grins and shakes his head. “Good, ‘cause that’s all they had,” he laughs, leaning against the counter. He can sense the air between them is different and it makes him nervous. He feels awkward and out of place. He clears his throat quietly as he takes the fork Dave offers to him.
They both take a bite of the cake, seeing no need for plates or a proper cut slice since it’s just the two of them.
“So,” Dave begins before Kurt can bring himself to talk. He’s hoping he’ll be the first to bring up the only thing that Kurt wants to talk about. Kurt already has what he wants to say ready in his mind but he just needs Dave to go first.
Instead, Dave says, “I was thinking we could watch a movie or something-- I can’t stay up too late, though, unfortunately. ‘Cause I gotta get up early for work tomorrow...” His tone is loud and clear and Kurt feels rejected before he’s even had the chance to ask a question.
Sucking in a quiet breath, Kurt swallows everything he wants to say. “That sounds great.” He forces a smile and takes another bite of the cake.
The night goes just as expected. The two of them sitting on the couch in a loud, tension-filled silence while a movie Kurt can’t even begin to focus on drags out what feels like an entire day’s worth of hours.
When he gets up to leave, Dave follows him to the door to say goodbye.
“This was nice, we should do it again sometime,” Kurt says with a smile, trying his very best not to be transparent with how disappointed he was.
“Yeah, definitely, anytime.” Dave nods his head, rubbing the back of his neck.
Kurt lingers for just a moment, wanting Dave to say anything else. He wants him to have a second thought. He wants something more. But the silence once again is too loud so he smiles at his friend one last time before nodding. “Good night, David.”
As he’s turning around, he feels Dave reach out to gently touch his wrist, stopping him mid-turn. He faces Dave again and he can see something in Dave’s expression he can’t identify, just like when he’d first arrived that night. Wordlessly, Dave pulls him into a tight hug. He’s surprised but he doesn’t hesitate to return it.
After spending the entire evening putting so much space between them, he’s confused by the sudden closeness and he doesn’t know what to say.
When they finally pull away, Dave looks Kurt in the eye. “Good night, Kurt. I’m really glad you came over,” he smiles a little. “I’m really glad we’re still friends.” There it is. Despite it feeling like a dagger piercing right through his heart, Kurt returns the smile. Letting out a gentle, almost defeated sounding breath, he nods. “We’ll always be friends, David.”
With that, they share one last quiet moment together before Kurt leaves.
“See, that is what you should expect here,” he tells himself when the scenario in his mind comes to an end. He sucks in a deep breath and blows it out slowly, his hands sliding down the steering wheel and then back up again. All he needs to do is manage his expectations and not let his need to romanticize every single interaction with someone consume him like this. He knows he needs to expect this story to end before it even begins. Falling in love with someone doesn’t mean they fall in love with you back.
Still, despite his best efforts, there’s an optimistic flame flickering deep down in his stomach where his desire for Dave lies. It’s so nice to feel something like this again. It’s been so long. He dares to think that maybe just one time the stars will align in his favor. His right foot’s leaning heavily on the gas pedal and his left leg is shaking anxiously. The forbidden thought crosses his mind again; that Dave could be the person that brings his heart back to life after years of nothing but his attempts at love falling apart.
Placing his elbow against the window of his driver-side door, Kurt exhales slowly, leaning his head against his hand. He can feel his mind tying itself up and holding itself hostage as a different scenario plays out against his will like a flickering film.
When Dave opens the door and his eyes land on Kurt, his entire face lights up-- as if he’s been waiting for him forever and he’s finally there. No one’s ever been so happy to see him.
“Hi,” Kurt manages to speak softly, his cheeks warm with a blush as he holds up an offering. “I brought dessert…! I, um, have no idea if it’s any good because it’s from the store on the corner down there but--” he gestures towards the vague area he’s referencing.
Before he can say anything else, one of Dave’s hands is reaching for his wrist, and in one swift motion, he gently pulls Kurt across the threshold. His other hand goes right up to cup Kurt’s cheek just the way it did the last time they kissed and he captures his lips in a slow, tender kiss.
Placing his hands on Dave’s sides, Kurt’s fingers curl around the fabric of his shirt to hold himself steady. He can’t believe this is happening and he might float right up into space if he doesn’t hang on. Dave deepens their kiss and Kurt follows his pace, pulling the taller more flush against his smaller frame. He hears the door being closed behind him, Dave pushing at it with his free hand as they step a little more into the house.
With their kiss coming to a natural end so they could both take a breath, Dave lingers in Kurt’s personal space. He leans their forehead together and not a word is spoken for a long moment, just the sounds of their elevated breaths filling the quiet house. It seems Dave is making a decision because next, he says, “I think dessert can wait.”
Kurt nods with no hesitation, that flame of desire he’d felt at the reunion and his entire drive sparking back to life. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so,” he says breathlessly. This time he’s the one to go in for another kiss as he drops the bag to the ground. Dave’s hands have moved to Kurt’s front and he’s tugging at the shorter’s shirt as he blindly leads the way to his bedroom.
Shifting in his seat, Kurt feels that eclectic jolt go all through his body as the scenario abruptly comes to an end, leaving only residual flashes of what would happen next in his mind. He can feel Dave’s hands on his body, hear the sound of his breath shuddering, and it’s all too much.
“ Take the exit .”
“Huh?” Kurt is fully pulled back to the present time by the voice on his phone and he realizes he’s been zoned out for the better part of the last hour and he’s already to his exit. “ Oh ..!” He quickly throws a look over his shoulder to cross a lane of traffic before he misses the exit completely. He’s only minutes away now and his mouth feels dry. The nervous butterflies awaken as he realizes he’s literally about to be face-to-face with Dave again and he has no actual idea how it’s going to go.
He wouldn’t have invited you over tonight if he didn’t want to see you.
“Right,” he answers himself out loud.
He could also just be being polite because he knows you’re going home soon.
He shakes his head again, letting out a deep exhale as he pulls into a nearby parking lot. After running in and finding a suitable dessert for the two of them to share, and giving himself a pep talk in the mirror of the store’s bathroom, he takes the last leg of his journey.
His headlights flash against Dave’s home, surely alerting him that Kurt has arrived if he’s paying any attention. Taking a brief moment to breathe last time, Kurt nods to himself. “Okay, we’re here, we’re doing this.” He continues to talk himself up on the long walk from his car to Dave’s front door, dessert in hand. “Whatever happens is okay because regardless, you’re friends. That’s enough.”
Is it?
“Shut up ,” he whispers to himself as he stands in front of Dave’s door. Sucking in a deep breath, he holds it in as his finger hovers over the doorbell for just a moment as he contemplates going back home before he finally presses it. He hears the chime ring through the small home and he doesn’t exhale again until the door swings open and Dave is standing there on the other side, a smile spreading across his face as their eyes meet.