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For Better, For Worse
January 1986
It had been almost six years since Jackie and Hyde were married and had a little girl. They loved their baby, and they had a good life. They lived in a two-bedroom apartment near Grooves, and Jackie was working at the local television station while Hyde managed the record store. He was also making plans to add a recording studio above it to generate more income. There was a whole second floor they didn’t know existed until Leo accidentally opened what he thought was a closet, but it was a door to a staircase.
On this particular January night, Hyde hadn’t managed to leave the store until after nine o’clock. He wasn’t sure he’d ever worked as hard for anything in his life, but he was determined to get this recording studio up and running for his family. He knew Jackie hated her job at the TV studio and wanted to go back to school for broadcasting, so he was hoping that the extra income the recording studio would provide could give that to her.
“So, I was thinking,” Jackie started, wrapping her arms around Hyde and leaning into his back as he cooked dinner over the stove. He was just making pasta for the two of them, Kit was already asleep in bed. It was a rare night when Jackie had successfully put Kit to bed before Hyde came home from the store.
“Well, that’s never good,” Hyde teased.
“Steven, I’m being serious,” Jackie let go of his waist.
He stirred the pasta and turned to face Jackie. “And I’m listening,” he said.
“Well, Kit’s getting older, and I was thinking what if we gave her a sibling?” Jackie asked, squinting because she was unsure of how Hyde was going to react. They’d never really discussed having another kid. They’d never even discussed having one kid, Kit had been a surprise to both of them.
Hyde stood stunned, of all the things that could have come from his wife’s mouth, this was not something he’d ever thought he would hear her say.
“What do you think Steven?” Jackie asked. A sizzling sound pulled Hyde out of his stupor. He whipped around and moved the boiling over pot from the hot burner and turned the stove off. He couldn’t cook and have this conversation at the same time.
“I don’t know,” he said. He turned back around, and he could already see the tears welling up in Jackie’s eyes. He didn’t mean to make her cry, but he wanted to have a conversation about this before they decided on anything. He was pretty content with how their life was now. Kit was a handful, but they managed.
“But Steven…” Jackie started.
“I didn’t say no,” Hyde said, interrupting whatever counter-argument she had lined up. “Let’s just talk about this.” He turned and walked over to the couch in their small living room. Jackie followed behind him shaking the built-up tears in her eyes away. She needed to be rational about this, not emotional.
She sat down next to Hyde on the small couch and cuddled up against him. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him.
“Okay, let’s talk,” Jackie prompted.
“Oh, I thought we might just cuddle on the couch,” Hyde said.
“Steven!” Jackie exclaimed and sat up placing a light slap on his chest.
“I’m just kidding, calm down, you’ll wake up Kit.” Hyde pulled her back down into his embrace and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll be serious now, I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“So, does this have anything to do with how much time you’ve been spending with Donna and baby Bella?” Hyde asked. Jackie had been spending a lot of time over at the Forman’s helping out with Lucas while Donna was getting used to having Bella and Lucas to take care of. Lucas was only a couple of years younger than Kit, so they got along okay, though Kit often complained that Lucas was annoying.
“No, not really,” Jackie said, thoughtfully. Though the idea hadn’t come to her until she’d seen Donna holding a tiny swaddled Bella in one arm and making sure Lucas’ kisses and hugs of affection were gentle enough. But she didn’t think that was why she wanted another kid.
“Are you sure?” Hyde asked. He’d spoken to Eric since Bella was born, he knew that having two young kids was not a walk in the park. Kit hadn’t been the easiest baby to take care of, so he was sure any other baby he and Jackie produced would be just as difficult— thanks to their mother.
“Okay, fine, maybe seeing Bella gave me the idea, but I’ve thought about this for months before bringing it up to you,” Jackie admitted.
“Jackie, Bella’s only two months old,” Hyde reminded her.
“Yeah, I told you, I’ve been thinking about this for months,” Jackie sat up and looked Hyde in the eyes. She was thankful that he tended to leave his sunglasses on the side table by the front door when he entered their apartment. It made it easier for her to tell what he was thinking. Easier, but not easy. Steven Hyde was a hard man to read.
“What about you going back to school?” Hyde asked.
Jackie frowned, she hadn’t thought about that. “I could do both? Or maybe I could go after the baby is old enough to start preschool.”
“Jackie, that would be years from now, and you’d be further into a career you don’t like.”
“I want both, though,” Jackie said, with a pout on her face.
Hyde looked at Jackie’s pout and took a deep breath. She’d always been able to get her way with him, but this was a bigger decision than wearing a bolo tie to a dance. “I guess if,” Jackie’s face lit up, Hyde held up a finger to her, “I said if we had another kid we could figure it out so you could still go to school. But I think you should start classes soon.”
“Can we afford that?” Jackie asked.
“The recording studio is almost done, and we have a few small things lined up, I think we could swing it.” Jackie threw her arms around Hyde, and he hugged her back.
Suddenly, she pulled away. “Wait, did you just use school and money to distract me from what we were talking about?”
“No,” Hyde shook his head, though that had been his intention.
“Steven Hyde, don’t lie to me, you know how bad you are at lying,” Jackie scolded.
“Fine, yes, I was trying to distract you.” Hyde rolled his eyes.
“Well, stop! We need to talk about this, this is our future!” Jackie’s voice elevated slightly in volume, and unfortunately, it was just enough to wake up the sleeping five-year-old in the other room.
“Mommy?” They heard Kit call from her bedroom.
“This conversation is not over,” Jackie pointed a finger at Hyde as she stood up and made her way over to their daughter’s bedroom.
Hyde returned to his abandoned dinner in the kitchen and resumed cooking. He’d have to start the pasta over, but at least he didn’t have to talk about having another kid right now.
***
A few weeks later
“I enrolled in broadcasting classes at the local community college. I talked to some people at the station, and they said I only needed a couple of credits before they would consider promoting me to start doing short segments on air.” Jackie said to Fez as the two of them entered Grooves.
“Mommy!” Kit came running from behind the counter when she heard the ding of the door-bell. “Fezzy!” She jumped into Fez’s arms.
Fez wasn’t around too much anymore, he opened a hair salon out in Chicago and was focused on creating a life there. He tried to visit Point Place whenever he could, especially if he could get a homemade meal from Kitty.
“Miss Kitty Kat, how’s my favorite girl?” Fez asked Kit as she giggled. He put her down, and she grabbed onto his hand.
“Can I show you my cassette tower?” Kit asked innocently. Jackie grimaced at Fez, she knew Hyde couldn’t be too happy that Kit had been using the merchandise to play with. Where was Hyde anyway?
“Can you watch her for a second, Fez?” Jackie asked, brow furrowed, looking around the store for her husband. She only saw another employee, Randy, organizing records on the other side of the store. She waved to him, he waved back.
Fez nodded at Jackie, and she went off to find Hyde. She looked in the back room, but it was empty. She opened the door to the upstairs area and went up to look for him.
She found Hyde sleeping, passed out on the couch in the recording booth, beer bottles lining the floor. If this was what it looked like, Jackie was about to be pissed, and Hyde would be spending a lot more time sleeping on this couch.
She entered the booth and kicked his feet down from where they were propped up on the arm of the couch. Hyde startled awake. “Oh, shit, did I fall asleep?”
“Are you really passed out drunk while our daughter is downstairs in the care of some random employee I’ve never said more than two words to?” Jackie was livid.
“No, no, I’m not drunk,” Hyde replied, rubbing his face with his hands.
Jackie didn’t believe him, “Then what’s all this?” She gestured to the beer bottles strewn around the room.
“Jackie, I swear, these are not mine. The band that recorded in here yesterday left them, and I just came up here to clean up, but then I must’ve sat down on the couch and just passed out.” Hyde explained.
“You were so tired that you sat down for a second and passed out? I’ve never seen you do that before unless you were incredibly stoned or drunk.” Jackie accused. She was having a hard time believing him, the evidence surrounding him was damning.
“I couldn’t sleep at all last night.” Hyde protested.
“Why not?” Jackie crossed her arms.
“Because I was thinking about what we talked about the other week.”
“What do you mean? Do you not want me to sign up for classes anymore? Because—“ Jackie’s mind was running a mile a minute. Were her classes really that much of a burden? If they were too expensive she just wouldn’t do it.
“What no, that’s not what I’m talking about.” Hyde interrupted and shook his head.
“Oh,” Jackie said, and then after another moment, remembered what he was talking about. Honestly, it had slipped her mind once she threw herself into researching and finding classes to take. She put down her bag and sat on the couch next to Hyde.
“I stayed up all night thinking about it, weighing the pros and cons,” Hyde said.
“And what’d you come up with?” Jackie asked softly.
“I think…” he paused. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to say this out loud. If he did, there was no taking it back. “I think another kid would be okay.”
Jackie’s look of annoyance quickly flipped to one of utter joy. Her face lit up like she’d won the lottery, her smile illuminating the room. She threw her arms around Hyde. “Really?”
Hyde took a deep breath, “Yeah, really. But, I still want you to finish your classes.”
“Oh, I will. Oh my goodness, Steven, we could be a family of four by next year!”
“Yeah, we could be,” Hyde replied a smile on his face, and hugged Jackie tighter.
***
A few months later
“Ugh, Steven, why is this so hard?” Jackie complained to Hyde as she walked out of the bathroom.
“Did you take the test?” Hyde asked her as she sat down at the kitchen counter, head in her arms.
“No,” Jackie said, though her voice was muffled by her arms.
“No?” Hyde asked, making sure he heard correctly.
“No,” Jackie affirmed, lifting her head.
They stared at each other for a second. Hyde didn’t want to ask, and Jackie didn’t want to offer any more information.
“We’ll just have to keep trying,” Hyde said after it was clear that Jackie wasn’t going to elaborate.
“That’s what you said last month.” Jackie groaned, “And I feel like my body is turning itself inside out.”
“Do you want some ice cream and a hot towel?” Hyde offered.
Jackie nodded with a pout and put her face back down in her arms.
***
A few more months later
“Mommy, Betsy wants to go to the park,” Kit tugged on her Mom’s sleeve. Jackie was laying on the couch, her arms over her eyes. She should have sent Kit over to the Petersons or the Kelsos, but her pride had led her to the current situation. She said she’d have the girls today, so she would, even if she wasn’t feeling up to it.
“Go play in your room,” Jackie said to Kit and turned away from her six-year-old.
She knew it was wrong, she knew she should be paying more attention to her, especially since she was also watching Betsy for Kelso and Brooke, but she couldn’t make herself get up off the couch.
“Come on, Kit, let’s go,” Betsy tugged on the back of Kit’s dress. Though only a year older, Betsy seemed to have a better perception of situations involving adults.
“No, my mommy’s being mean! We’re supposed to go to the park today, we always go to the park today.” Kit crossed her arms and stayed standing in front of Jackie.
“Sweetie, mommy’s not feeling very well. Can you play nicely with Betsy inside today?”
“Fine,” Kit stomped away.
“Feel better,” Betsy said to Jackie and followed Kit into her bedroom.
Jackie groaned and rolled over on the couch, if there was one thing she missed about being pregnant, it wasn’t feeling like she was going to vomit all the time.
***
Two months later
“Why is mommy crying?” Kit asked her dad, as they sat on the couch in the living room. Kit was sitting in Hyde’s lap, and he had an arm around Jackie’s shoulder as she sobbed.
“She’s just a little sad,” Hyde replied. He wasn’t sure how to explain to Kit that Jackie’s tears were more than just being a little sad. She was crying because she felt like she’d done something wrong, though she’d done nothing wrong. Hyde and the doctors had both assured her that.
She was crying because the doctor had also told her it wouldn’t be a good idea to try to conceive again anytime soon. That they should wait.
She was crying for what could have been, what she’d hoped there’d be.
She was crying because of the conversation she and Hyde had had in the car after the doctor’s appointment, that maybe this was a sign, that Kit was meant to be an only child. Jackie was crying because she knew in her heart that wasn’t true, but she was sure that she couldn’t go through this again.
There was a knock on their apartment door, and both the adults looked at each other. They didn’t want to answer it. Kit hopped down off her dad’s lap and opened the door before either of her parents could stop her.
It was Michael and Betsy Kelso. The look on Kelso’s face wasn’t often seen, a solemn look, no trace of his wide smile. Hyde had told him what’d happened, and he had come over to check on them. Donna and Eric had sent him, they were worried about Jackie.
They hadn’t seen her in days, and she’d canceled all their plans for the past week since it’d happened. Eric was busy with teaching, and Donna was worried that seeing Bella would make it worse for Jackie.
“Can we come in?” Kelso asked quietly, looking past Kit to Hyde. Jackie just looked at him, face blank, tears staining her face.
Hyde gave a small nod, and Kelso and Betsy entered the apartment.
Kit and Betsy went off into Kit’s room, and Kelso sat down in their armchair next to the couch.
“Is there anything I can do for you guys?” He asked.
Jackie snapped her eyes over to him, “No, there’s nothing anybody can do.” She stood up and walked over to Kit’s bedroom, closing the door behind her, leaving the men to their awkward conversation.
“I’m sorry, man,” Kelso said to Hyde.
“Me too,” Hyde bit the inside of his mouth. “She’s having a hard time right now.”
“What about you?”
“Me?” Hyde questioned.
“Yeah, it must be hard on you too,” Kelso said.
“Not as hard as it is on her, I’m just here to support her, but it’s been difficult. I don’t know what to say,” and under his breath, he added, “I never know what to say.”
Kit came running out of her room, “Can we go to the park?”
“Yeah, I’ll bring you,” Hyde said, he was grateful for the distraction from his conversation with Kelso. He didn’t like to get too serious with his friends. “Go get your coat.” Kit scurried off to find her coat wherever she’d left it.
Hyde stood up and walked over to Kit’s doorway. The scene that played before him nearly broke him more than he already was. Jackie was sitting on the floor, her back against Kit’s bed. Betsy and Jackie both didn’t notice Hyde in the doorway.
The seven-year-old walked over to Jackie and brushed a piece of Jackie’s hair out of her face. “I’m sorry Miss Jackie,” Betsy said.
Jackie knew that Betsy didn’t know what she was sorry for, but it didn’t matter. Out of the mouths of babes, Jackie was touched. She pulled Betsy into a tight hug, and Betsy hugged her back.
“I’m so glad Kit has you,” Jackie whispered to the little girl.
Hyde let the two hug for a moment longer before he said, “Come on Betsy, we’re gonna go to the park.”
Betsy got up from the floor and smiled at Hyde. “Okay!” She skipped out of the room.
Hyde went and sat down on the floor next to Jackie. “She’s so sweet,” Jackie smiled weakly at Hyde.
Hyde nodded. “Do you want to come to the park?” He asked although he didn’t expect her to.
“No,” Jackie shook her head, “but I think I’m going to be okay.”
Hyde just looked at her.
“I mean, of course, I’ll be fine if you bring the kids to the park. But I mean, I think it’s going to be okay. Kit doesn’t need siblings, she has amazing friends.”
“And if someday it happens, it would be great, but if not, our family is still complete with just Kit,” Hyde said, and he truly meant it.
“It is, isn’t it?” Jackie took a deep breath.
Hyde hugged her, and the both of them stood up from the floor.
“I better go before Kit tries to walk to the park by herself,” Hyde said.
“I might go take a drive over to see Mrs. Forman,” Jackie smiled. “She’s been calling all week. If I don’t show up soon she may send Red to come kick my ass.”
Hyde laughed and they walked out into the main room to find Kelso standing up with the armchair cushion stuck to his pants.
Kit and Betsy were rolling on the floor laughing.
“See, Jackie? We have plenty of kids.” Hyde said.
Jackie laughed silently and shook her head. She knew was going to be okay, it was just going to take time. But for now, she would throw herself into finishing her classes at school and making something more of her career and being there for her family. A family that included all of their friends too.