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“The only person I can trust is myself.”
And then Nine was gone.
Sonic began to tremble. He covered his face with his hands as a lump began to form in his throat. It was fine. He was used to this.
He was used to it getting worse before it got better. He was used to the feeling of his heart burning. It had burned all his life. This burn was his job.
So why did it hurt so bad this time?
I’m so stupid. I never listen. Why can’t I listen? If I’d just thought about my actions for once in my pathetic life-
Sonic won’t cry over this. He won’t.
Sonic didn’t hear the loud clang of metal on stone, the heavy footsteps coming towards him. He didn’t hear his name being called, hard and sharp. Angry.
He didn’t hear any of it, but he felt the hand on his shoulder, meant to whirl him around. It startled him enough for him to jump away and turn.
He was met with Shadow, of course, who for a moment, looked livid. That expression quickly vanished, and was replaced with one Sonic couldn’t read.
”You…” Shadow fizzled out, suddenly feeling out of place. He took a moment to take in Sonic’s appearance as he tried to remember how to do this.
He looked, as he’d put it, exhausted. Eye bags that normally weren’t noticeable were now prominent on his face, along with several cuts and bruises that also spread out across his entire shaking body. His quills were flared and he looked crazed.
“Heh, s-sorry. C’mon, we gotta get back t’ the Grim so I can… talk t’ Nine,” Sonic said, but his voice was cracking. His smile was small and half-hearted.
Sonic moved to brush past Shadow and walk out of the temple, but Shadow caught his wrist. Sonic was quick to turn his head and glare at Shadow.
”Shads, we needa go,” he warned. Sonic needed to get out of here right now.
“Are you okay?” Shadow demanded, pulling Sonic to stand in front of him once more.
Sonic wasn’t. He’s not. But he refuses to break down now. No matter how much he wanted to lay down and sob, he won’t do it. Not with Shadow here. Not with somebody to see him.
He will not appear weak to a potential enemy, and he will especially not appear weak to somebody he might need to protect. This was his job. Sonic is a hero.
(Not a very good hero now, are you?)
(Shut it.)
“‘M fine. I shoulda seen it coming, after all. You were right, always are. I shouldn’ta thrown my trust out there like that. It was stupid.” Sonic closed his eyes and turned away slightly. His voice was cracking more now. He needed to get himself under control.
“Sonic. I’ll ask again. Are you okay?”
Tears welled up in the hero’s eyes, and Sonic wiped his face. He couldn’t believe this. He was about to cry over something that was his fault. Not only that, he’d be crying in front of Shadow.
He looked at the ebony hedgehog in front of him, who was staring at him with what Sonic now recognized as worry.
(Now look what you made him do. Shadow didn’t need to worry. That wasn’t his job. You’re supposed to be able to protect him.)
“Sorry. ‘m sorry, really. This is stupid, I shouldn’t cry. ’m not supposed t’-“
”Stop it,” Shadow interrupted. Sonic shut up immediately. Shadow took a breath.
”Stop playing hero. You’re too tired for it and we both know it.” That stopped Sonic short.
Playing hero?
“‘m not- I’m not playing anything. I know I messed up, but that doesn’t mean ‘m a bad guy! If I was, I wouldn’t be going through hell and back to fix it! Being this hero is my job, been a hero since I was five.” Sonic said angrily. How dare Shadow? He was Sonic the Hedgehog, he was nothing if not a hero.
Shadow almost looked guilt stricken. Sonic knew he was at least surprised. Sonic didn’t curse, and he definitely didn’t get angry.
“That’s… not what I meant. I apologize. I just meant… you don’t need to be strong right now. There’s nobody here to play that persona for,” Shadow tried to amend. Sonic felt vulnerable.
“You’re here.”
”You know you don’t need to play pretend with me.”
The tears fell.
And then Sonic was crying. Shadow was quick to grab his shoulders and sit them down, but Sonic barely noticed. Shadow said nothing. Sonic knew he wasn’t acting like he was supposed to. Sonic the Hedgehog isn’t supposed to cry. They sat there for a while, with Sonic progressively curling into himself more and more.
Sonic tried to remember the last time he’d cried.
(Shadow was falling, falling, falling. Shadow fell. Shadow had died. Sonic had lost the one, singular person that could keep up with him, step for step. He’d let a hero die on him. Sayonara.)
Sonic shuddered. It was fine. He’d caught him this time.
”…Earlier, you saved me,” Shadow said out of the blue, almost like he was reading Sonic’s mind.
Sonic lifted his head from where it was resting on his knees.
”I did.”
“I never thanked you. I’m not sure what would’ve happened, but you… caught me, nonetheless. Thanks.”
”I couldn’t let ya die. I wouldn’t. Not again,” Sonic said brokenly. He’d almost lost him, and this time, he might not have come back.
”I know.”
”I still have your inhibitor ring,” Sonic blurted out. He doesn’t know why.
”What?”
“Ya released two of ‘em when I tried to catch ya. I gave Rouge one of ‘em. I know she gave hers back t’ ya, but…” Sonic looked away. Shadow had all four of them, but one of them was a replacement. Sonic reached down and rolled the cuff of his sock down.
On his ankle, shining and golden, was the original ring. A reminder of what Sonic had almost lost.
“I thought it was lost in space. Rouge never mentioned that you had it,” Shadow said in amazement. He’d been upset he was missing one, even if Eggman had replaced it later.
“‘S ‘cause she doesn’t know. ’M pretty sure Tails is the only one who noticed I grabbed the second one before I got back on the Ark,” Sonic said. He thinks maybe Tails was worried about him after that, because he didn’t leave his side for weeks.
“You can… have it back, if ya want,” Sonic offered. Shadow opened his mouth to accept, but when he shifted his gaze to look at Sonic he shut his mouth again. He knew Sonic would give it back if he asked, but didn’t look as though he wanted to part with it.
”…You can keep it. The doctor replaced it anyway, and it works almost as well as the original,” Shadow said. It got Sonic to smile, though every once and a while a tear or two still dripped down the blue blur’s face.
“Thanks. And I mean for everything. Chaos knows I don’t deserve it,” Sonic said. Under normal circumstances, Shadow would agree in a heartbeat. Even if he knew it wasn’t true.
Now?
Shadow took a breath.
”…You messed up. Badly,” Shadow started. Sonic ears drooped. “However, you were right earlier. You aren’t a bad guy. At the end of the day, you’re still a hero, because you’re still trying. A lot of people wouldn’t. They’d give up.”
“I can’t give up. I never could. ’S why I’m here now. Why I’m alive. If I give up, who’s gonna be there for the world? Who’s gonna be the face of peace? I didn’t have to be Sonic. ‘s not even my real name. Didn’t used to be, anyways. But…”
Sonic paused and recollected himself. Shadow knew this was hard. Sonic never talked about… before. Before he was a hero. Before he was Sonic, apparently. Shadow hadn’t known Sonic wasn’t a real name.
”But ‘s what they called me. The first time I made the front page. Nobody knew who I was, but they knew I’d saved them. The first time I made a sonic boom. After that, the name stuck. Nobody has ever questioned it. Not even me,” Sonic said.
Shadow wanted to ask what Sonic’s name had been before then, but bit his tongue. Sonic wasn’t telling him for a reason.
“You’re admirable, I’ll give you that. You’ve impressed me time and time again with things I’ve witnessed, or been told about. I could ask anybody in the world and they’d tell me a tale of how you saved them and their land at one point or another,” Shadow said.
He’d heard about a creature known as Chaos a couple of times, about how Sonic had calmed down the water god and saved Station Square.
He’d heard countless stories, how he saved countless people that had fallen victim to Eggman or somebody, or even something else. Had heard about and seen him defeat gods, had seen him save the world and the universe.
This would be no different, Shadow was sure of it. But first, Sonic had to be in better condition.
Sonic hadn’t said anything in a moment, and when Shadow zoned back in, he realized why. Sonic had his head resting on his knees once more, but this time, he was dozing off instead of sobbing.
“Faker, you need rest. You said it yourself, you’re exhausted. I’ll be outside if you need me,” Shadow said, moving to get up. He was about to walk away when he felt a hand shoot out and grab his wrist, right above his inhibitor ring.
“Don’ leave me, p’ls Shads…” Sonic said, his voice raw and raspy, slurring together words more than usual. Shadow couldn’t find it in himself to argue. He found himself sitting next to the cobalt hero, probably too close. No matter. It was… just in case Sonic leaned over in his sleep. If he fell onto the stone, he risked a concussion. Shadow couldn’t have that.
(Sonic could fall from a hundred and fifty feet onto steel and he’d pop back up with a smile, and you know it.)
It proved to be good judgment, because a minute later Sonic did lean over.
Right onto Shadow’s shoulder.
Hm. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.
Shadow figured he could go to sleep like this. He was a stiff sleeper, he had no risk of falling.
“I’ll be here when you wake, Faker.”
Shadow didn’t see it, faced away from the cobalt hedgehog, but Sonic smiled.
They slept there, in the middle of the cave that was cold and damp, sitting up.
They couldn’t have cared less. They were together, and at that moment, that was all they needed.
Thanks, Faker, Sonic thought as he drifted off.