Work Text:
If you asked Ilsa Faust what love is, her answer would have been simple: a distraction. You cannot afford to fall in love because the enemy can and will use it against you. In all her years as an agent in the MI6, she taught herself from the very start to keep people at arm's length. She treated her fellow agents as colleagues, never making acquaintances let alone friends. She exercised that practice harder when she was sent by the government to work undercover inside the Syndicate (fraternizing with the enemy is harder when you are firmly against their views and stands about certain things). But then Ethan and his team came along, and now...now she wasn't so sure. Her relationship with the others was rocky at best, mostly due to conflict of interest. But after Kashmir, after the plutonium bomb they managed to defuse literally seconds before exploding, the lines have blurred. Her feelings were in a tumult, like it was playing a game of tug-of-war inside her, leaving her to doubt just what, exactly what she felt for Ethan.
"Hey. You OK?"
Ilsa jumped. She was so lost in thought that she failed to notice Ethan come up behind her.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm all right." Ilsa replied absently.
"We may not have known each other long, but I know when someone is lying. What's going on with you?" Ethan asked, but there was no judgement in his tone.
"It's just... I know I've said this before but before you and your team, I had no one. Sure there's the MI6, but that's just a workplace. I never had friends. Hell, the thought of romance is alien to me. That's why I ran away, why I never decided to stay with you after Lane's first capture. I was afraid of letting you down, or the other way around. And then of course there's the matter of our personal wishes on Lane's fate."
Ethan chuckled. "Yeah, you weren't exactly keen on saving him."
Ilsa hummed. "Right. So now this.. this thing between us, it terrifies me."
She felt Ethan's arms wrap around her from behind, and she absently leaned back, closing her eyes.
"There's nothing to be scared of." Ethan murmured on her hair. "I'm here for you."
Ilsa extricated herself and faced Ethan. "I can see why Julia fell in love you all those years ago."
"Because of my good looks?" Ethan asked.
"Ass." Ilsa chuckled, kissing Ethan softly. "I love you.:"
"And I you."