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“You need a bigger bed,” Jill mumbled to her partner as he approached the bed, dressed in his nightclothes after a long day of helping out at Martha’s Rest.
Clive let out a long sigh. A tired sigh - he’d been wearing himself out recently. Not that it was anything new. “No, this mutt just needs to learn not to take my spot when I’m not here,” he replied, rubbing Torgal’s head gently. The wolf, who was laying beside Jill with his tail covering the woman’s feet, shifted closer to Clive’s hand, enjoying the pampering. Unfortunately for him, Clive then whistled once and pointed downward. “Torgal, down.”
Torgal growled.
“It’s my bed, boy,” Clive retorted. Torgal snorted and shook his head before hopping off the mattress, resting himself on the floor. “Thank you for not making me get out the treats,” he said amidst a yawn.
Jill giggled as Clive climbed over Torgal to settle himself, rather unceremoniously, on the bed. “Too much effort at this hour?” she asked.
“Yes,” Clive breathed. “You coddle him too much, you know.”
“How can I say no to him?” Jill questioned, grinning.
Clive rolled his eyes, but leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips - simple and sweet, as if he hadn’t even thought about it before he did it - it was just instinct now. “I missed you.”
“And I missed you,” Jill responded. “You can get under the blankets, too.”
Clive shook his head. “Too warm.”
“You’re always warm,” Jill responded, leaning closer to Clive, resting a hand on his cheek.
“And you’re always cold.”
Jill smiled.
“You weren’t asleep when I came in, were you?”
Jill shook her head. “Had just laid down, to be honest,” she responded. “I’d gotten your stolas earlier. Wasn’t sure if you’d been delayed.” She ran her fingers through his bangs, brushing them aside so she could see his eyes.
“My apologies, My Lady,” Clive apologized, circling an arm around her waist, gently rubbing her spine with his knuckles. “Martha needed some extra help right as I sent it off. Couldn’t say no to her.”
“You’re far too kind for your own good,” Jill responded, gently kissing Clive’s jaw, relishing in the feeling of being close to him. They were more apart than together recently. And often when they were together, others were, too - Otto with new tasks, Vivian with new intel, Mid in need of assistance with her latest project, and Gav just…well, being Gav.
Joshua, thank the Founder, knew without even being told when Clive and Jill needed their time alone. It must be some sort of brotherly instinct, Jill supposed. It always seemed like Clive and Joshua knew things about each other, without it ever needing to be said aloud. She remembered it annoyed her sometimes, when they were kids.
Though, of course, the same could be said about Clive and Jill themselves, both now, and even when they were children. A lot of times when they would sit on the balcony together, or when they sat beside each other in tutoring or at meals, they would just have to look at each other, and they instantly knew what the other was thinking.
Joshua had made a comment about it once, right before Jill’s twelfth nameday. Jill couldn’t remember what the context was - probably who won a race, or something like that. And all Clive and Jill needed to do was glance at each other, and they knew.
Joshua had rolled his eyes, humphed, and crossed his arms over his chest. “You two always do that.”
“Do what?” Clive had asked, smirking.
“That thing where you just look at each other.”
Again, Clive and Jill looked at each other. They both knew - what is Joshua talking about?
“There! Like that!” Joshua exclaimed, pointing at them. “It’s like you’re talking, but you’re not talking.”
“...We’re just looking at each other, Joshua,” Clive replied, walking over to his little brother, ruffling his ginger hair under his gloved hand. “Nothing strange about it.”
Joshua shook his head. “No, this is different,” he responded.
It really was different. Jill was never able to do that with anyone else. Only Clive.
It was strange, how when they were reunited five years ago, and they went on the mission together to Eastpool, they were able to do that still. All it took was a glance at his face, and she knew what he was thinking.
It was always a strange, otherworldly connection that she had with Clive. Never with anyone else. She knew, even as a child, that her feelings for him were different . As a child, she’d get those butterflies in her stomach, and her cheeks turned a little pinker whenever he spoke kind words to her. Or the feeling when he would take her hand, or when he smiled at her.
She tried her hardest to shrug them off as a child, though. She always assumed he looked at her as a sister. Joshua did. Even five years ago, sitting in the barn at Lady Hanna’s, Jill was convinced after her failed attempt to kiss him that he still viewed her as a sibling.
Of course, she was very, very wrong. And she was glad she was.
If only her younger self could see her now…all those daydreams of holding Clive’s hand, Joshua still their best friend, the trio always together…of course, the “saving the world” bit wasn’t part of young Jill’s visions, but times were simpler, and she was much more innocent.
When she was younger, she wasn’t always sure of her future. It was always presumed that when she would come of age, she would be married off, either to a noble, or even one of the Rosfield brothers. She would live her life as a wife and mother. That was the only image she had.
But now, once everything was taken care of, she could be free to do whatever she chose. And, even better, with Clive at her side through it all.
“Where’s your mind gone?” Clive questioned, kissing Jill’s forehead. Jill hadn’t even realized how much time had passed without her saying anything.
Jill smirked. “Our childhood,” she answered. She rested her hand on his scarred cheek, running her thumb along the outline of his bottom lip.
Clive gently kissed her thumb. “Do you miss it?”
“Parts of it,” Jill said earnestly. “The simplicity. The innocence. Not feeling like the weight of the world rests on our shoulders.” She sighed, her mind going through various memories of her youth. When thinking about her childhood, there were always parts she wished she couldn’t remember, and some she had a difficult time moving past, even now as an adult. She tried her hardest to focus on the good parts. “Certain memories, though…I don’t like thinking about.”
Clive nodded his head, understanding. “Then what do you like thinking about?”
Jill paused for a moment. How could she choose just one? She had so many fond memories of herself, Clive, and Joshua from when they were children. She found herself smiling without even thinking about it. “The time when Byron took us to see The Saint and the Sectary for the first time,” she giggled. “It was for your…your ninth nameday?”
Clive nodded.
“And I was still fairly new to Rosalith, but your uncle was kind enough to invite me to come, too,” Jill continued. “It was the first play I had ever been to.”
“Byron was a thespian in his youth,” Clive said, “so he wanted to make sure Joshua and I were exposed to it as much as we could. He had taken us to other shows before this one that I wasn’t particularly fond of, so I didn’t think I would like this one, but…the story really spoke to me.”
“You wouldn’t stop talking about it for days after.”
Clive smiled gently, remembering. “I begged him to take me again and again and again.”
“And he did,” Jill laughed. “Again and again and again.”
Clive snickered. “At first, I think he was excited that I finally liked theater, but then I think he got so bored of it after the third time.”
“And yet he still took you. You were just in awe of it.”
“It’s a good show.”
“Maybe we’ll see it again, once this is all over,” Jill suggested.
He squeezed her gently. “I’d like that, My Lady,” Clive responded. “What else do you like thinking about?”
Jill sighed, looking up at the ceiling, settling close to Clive, embracing his warmth. She thought back in her horde of memories, trying to pick out one. “That one day, I think I was eleven summers…or ten, I can’t remember. It was so bloody hot, so we decided to ride our chocobos down to Auldhyl for a swim.”
Clive chuckled. “Mother was so mad,” he said, nodding his head. “She sent out a whole force of the Shields to come find us. Thought Joshua’d been kidnapped.”
“The Shield who found us laughed so hard when he saw us,” Jill added. “As did Lord Murdoch when he found out.” Poor Rodney had found the trio, or sometimes even just Clive and Jill, making escapes from the castle probably more times than he could count. He had started out being upset with them, but then lightened up once he realized they were just young kids, wanting to get a break from all the pomp and circumstance of living in the castle.
“Mother tried to confine me to my room for a week after,” Clive said. “But Father would sneak me out so I could go train with Sir Rodney.” He paused, a twinkle of a tear in his eye. “I miss them.”
Jill looked up at him. “They were good to us,” she responded.
“Taking care of us when some people wouldn’t,” Clive whispered. He cleared his throat. “I wonder what they would think of us now.”
Jill held him tightly. “They would be beyond proud of you,” she said without hesitation. “Proud to see that you have grown into a strong, loving man who cares so deeply for everyone around you.” She placed her hand on his chest, over his heart.
“You think so?”
“They loved you dearly,” she replied.
Clive smiled graciously at her. Then, he placed his hand over hers, intertwining their fingers. “Tell me more, please.”
“You need sleep, my dear,” Jill retorted, laughing.
“I know, I know, but…but I like remembering these stories,” Clive explained. “Sometimes…sometimes it gets lost in everything that is happening now, and…I want to remember those simpler times.”
Clive didn’t speak much about his time with the Imperial Army. Much like Jill didn’t speak much about her time with the Iron Kingdom. Those haunted memories often made it difficult to remember the times of joy and simplicity when they were children.
Jill fit her head onto Clive’s shoulder, closing her eyes. “Okay. I’ll humor you with one more,” she responded. “But then you really need to go to sleep. You’ll be cranky in the morning if you don’t.”
Clive snorted. “I don’t get cranky.”
“Yes, you do. Isn’t that right, Torgal?”
Torgal grunted in response.
“He always sides with you,” Clive retorted.
“Because I let him sleep on the bed,” Jill laughed. “You seriously need to get a bigger one. He makes quite the nice foot warmer.”
Clive kissed her forehead. “If it would make you happy, My Lady.”
Jill smiled. “Always the gentleman,” she said. She let out a happy sigh. “Remember when I first came to the castle?”
“You were so scared, and I felt so horrible for you,” Clive responded, his other hand resting on the small of her back. He felt so warm, it nearly surprised her. His warmth was always a comforting contrast to her cold, once she got past the initial shock.
“But your Father treated me with the utmost kindness,” Jill replied. “As did you, and Joshua. You were so patient with me.”
“I couldn’t have imagined how frightening it must have been for you.”
Jill sighed. “I was terrified, yes,” she responded. “I didn’t leave my quarters for the first week, remember?” Clive hummed in affirmation. She kissed his shoulder. “I was so scared - all I could picture in my head was the look my father gave me as he watched me leave on the Archduke’s chocobo. Or how my mother…” She breathed out, not wanting to go back. She skipped that part and thought of a fond memory. “But then…there was that first time we really interacted.”
Clive smiled, remembering exactly what she was speaking of.
“I had a nightmare, so I was wandering the halls of the castle alone, because I couldn’t fall back asleep - my heart was racing so fast.”
“And I had been denied dinner that evening because I had done something to upset Mother,” Clive added. “I can’t even remember what it was.”
“But we ran into each other,” Jill giggled. “You asked me if I was okay, but I didn’t even say a word to you. You waited for me to say something, but all I did was stare at the floor. Then you turned around to leave, and I was preparing to go back to my room but…then…you glanced back briefly, and mentioned something about…”
“Pies,” Clive laughed. “How Lady Joanna had made pies that afternoon. I wondered if you wanted to sneak a slice or two with me.” He kissed her nose. “Your eyes brightened for the first time since you had arrived.”
“You learned my weakness early on, My Lord,” Jill laughed, kissing his lips. “Pastries, and alone time with you.” She smiled gleefully. “We ate nearly a whole pie ourselves that night, didn’t we? Talking about storybooks, Rosaria, everything in between.” She smiled. “I felt so sick afterwards, but I was so happy because I had finally felt like I made a friend.” She looked over his face, feeling a warmth in her chest. “You were the first person I trusted in Rosaria.”
Clive kissed her. It was so sweet - it reminded her of home.
“And then Joshua started tagging along with us. He had been sick when I first arrived, hadn’t he?”
Clive nodded his head. “Mother kept him in the infirmary for the first week after you came,” he explained. “Had a fever or something of the sort. But after he got better, the three of us were inseparable, huh?”
“You could’ve easily been hanging out with boys your own age,” Jill responded, lifting her hand from his chest to toy with some strands of his hair by his ear. “But you always chose me and Joshua over them. I still wonder why.”
Clive sighed. “Because I always felt like myself around you and Joshua,” he responded honestly. He had never admitted that to her before. “I always felt like I had to pretend around the other boys. Pretend to be tougher than I was.”
“But you were the strongest out of all of them.”
“I didn’t mean physically.”
Jill kissed his shoulder.
“The other boys were rude, anyway,” Clive replied. “I know behind my back they talked about how spoiled I was, being the Firstborn of the Archduke. How I could just have everything I wanted at the snap of the fingers.”
Jill ran her fingers through the ends of Clive’s hair. He was in need of a trim. She would nag him about it tomorrow. “They didn’t understand how hard you worked.”
“No, they didn’t,” Clive agreed. “But…you and Joshua did. And still do. And I will always appreciate it…more than you know, Jill.”
Jill smiled, and she kissed his lips. After, she let out a peaceful sigh. “I think that’s enough storytime for one night, huh? You need to get some sleep. You’ve had a long couple of days.”
Clive sighed, settling himself more on the bed, but still keeping his arm draped around Jill. “Only going to get longer from here.”
“How long will you stay?”
“...I’m not sure,” he responded, yawning afterwards. “I’m hoping I can remain here for a few days. I know Isabelle requested my presence. Duke of Oriflamme causing trouble again.”
“Well, best not keep her waiting then, huh?”
Clive slumped his shoulders, fearing he had disappointed her. “Jill-”
“I unfortunately can’t horde you for myself,” Jill responded. “You are a good man with a good heart, Clive. Share that with others.”
Clive smiled, and he kissed Jill’s cheek. “Once this is all over, My Lady, you can have me all to yourself for as long as you please.”
“...forever, then?”
“If that’s what you want.”
Jill smirked. “Goodnight, Clive.”
“Goodnight, Jill.”