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// The drought was the very worst, when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst. //
When Harry leaves his (now) ex boyfriend's apartment in a mess of tears and shaky breaths. He just sinks down to the floor, unable to walk anywhere else.
Louis isn't paying attention as he runs back to his apartment at this late hour, just wanting to get inside and go to bed. He ends up tripping over a mess of a person on the floor. "Oh, shit," Louis curses, stopping in front of his apartment.
He realizes its the pretty boy who sometimes looks at him as they both go into their apartments at the same time. "Are you okay?" he asks the boy. Shit, what's the kids name? He's heard his boyfriend say it before.
The boy looks up at Louis with tear-filled eyes. "Sorry, am I in your way?" he asks, pushing himself up from the ground.
"No, not at all. Are you... How come you're out in the hall, love? D'you wanna come inside?" Louis figures the least he can do is offer the kid a cuppa or something.
"You don't even know me."
"And? I can in a minute."
"I'm Harry," he says.
Ah, that's it.
"Louis," Louis smiles at him, shoving the key in his apartment door. "Come inside. Do you drink tea?"
Harry follows in warily. Louis closes the door behind him. Harry drinks in the apartment. It's cozy, dark. The walls are painted this almost grey colour and they're mostly blank, a few pictures and posters hanging up in random places. There's a couch and a TV closer to the door, a bed in the far corner. It's just like Harry's - well, Harry's boyfriend Tommy's - apartment. They're just studio apartments, simple.
Harry watches Louis drop his bag by the door and head over to the small kitchen. "Yorkshire okay? s'all I have."
"Yeah, whatever you've got is fine."
"So, Harry, are you going to tell me why you were crying in the hall outside your apartment?"
// It was months and months of back and forth. //
"Oh. My, uh, boyfriend and I broke up. Tommy."
"That was his name. Pathetic I don't know my neighbours, huh? I'm sorry about that."
"It was a long time coming." Harry says, rubbing his eyes and unable to supress a yawn.
"Did he do that to your face, too?" Louis asks, setting two mugs down on the counter.
Harry's hand immediately flies up to cover his cheekbone.
"Not going to report him or anything, love. Just wanna know."
So Harry nods, slowly.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I will be." Harry nods, taking the cup of tea off the counter.
"You can take a shower if you want to. I'm sure I've got some clothes you could borrow."
And, is it bad Harry's excited to put on this stranger's clothes? he is rather fit.
-
// You're still all over me like a wine stained dress I can't wear anymore. //
Louis didn't mean to walk in on Harry while he was still changed. He assumed he was done. Louis just had to put something away in the bathroom. But Harry is standing in front of the mirror, frowning at his ribs.
"Sorry. Didn't mean-" Louis goes to head out of the bathroom again, but stops when he sees what Harry's looking at. Bruises. Quite a few. They look like they hurt, too. "Did he do that to you, Harry?"
Harry freezes, staring at Louis like a dear caught in the headlights.
"This has happened before, hasn't it, H?"
"What do you mean?" Harry asks, immediately pulling the sweater on that Louis gave him.
"You've had a fight, he's hit you," Louis steps closer and touches a fingertip to Harry's bruising cheekbone. "Says you're breaking up, but you get back together anyway. The cycle repeats."
"How do you know?" Harry asks lowly.
"He likes to have control over you. He leaves his mark. And he's the only thing you've ever known. So you go back."
// Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm. //
"Yeah, I guess."
"That's why sometimes I'd see you around and sometimes I wouldn't. I know you just had your twenty first birthday, and I know more times than not you live with Tommy since now you're fully legal. The only times you're not with him are the times you're broken up, yeah?"
"You pay that much attention?"
"I notice when the pretty boy across the hall comes home plastered wearing a birthday crown. And I notice when the pretty boy isn't around for a week or so every so often."
Harry bites his lip. "Pretty boy?"
"Yeah."
"Funny, I think the same about you."
// Rain came pouring down, when I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe. //
The next several weeks involves Louis falling. Hard. For Harry. Fuck, he loves this beautifully broken boy. How could he make the decision that quick? What the hell did Harry do to pull Louis in so quick?
The one thing he has yet to do is make Harry open up all the way.
Now, they're laying in bed in Louis' apartment and staring at the ceiling.
"I stayed with him because I felt like if I didn't, I would die. I would just stop breathing because I'm some sort of fucking parasite that needs him to live." Harry says softly.
Louis rolls over onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow to look down at Harry. "You're not a parasite. And you're breathing now. You don't need him."
"It's funny, I didn't feel like I was going to die without him this time," Harry shakes his head. "I let go and I was breathing."
In the morning when Louis opens the door to go to work he almost trips on a box of stuff. 'Here's your shit', a note reads. Louis takes the box inside and throws out the rude not from who he assumes is Harry's ex and grabs a piece of paper. He writes a much nicer note.
'This was outside this morning. I'll go through it with you when I get home later today, if you want. X lou.'
-
The box sits in the corner for almost another month. Two months since Harry has practically moved in with Louis. And Louis was the one who went in the box to get Harry's clothes. Other than that it's stayed in the corner.
Two months and Louis still hasn't made a move on Harry. he has to get on that.
// By morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean. //
12:03 AM
"Louis," Harry whispers. "Lou." he shakes Louis' shoulder.
Louis groans, catching Harry around the waist and pulling him down close. "What?"
"I need to do something."
"At," Louis pauses, lifting his head to look at the clock on the nightstand. "Four minutes past twelve in the morning?"
"I want to go through the box."
Louis sits up at that, turning on the lamp. Yeah, this apartment has had some serious revamping since Harry took place. "Okay, we can."
Five minutes later they're sitting on the bed with the box between them.
"Do you have an idea what's in here?" Louis asks.
Harry shrugs, taking the lid off. "Pictures and stuff, I guess."
Harry's right.
But by three in the morning they've all been thrown off the balcony.
// there was nothing left to do when the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room. //
"He's like, gone." Harry says, staring at the empty box on the floor.
"Good."
"I feel... different."
"Good." Louis repeats.
//So I punched a hole in the roof. //
That's when the tears come. Harry isn't even upset, he's just so fucking mad that he let Tommy do this to him.
"What's wrong, H?" Louis asks, moving closer to him.
"I fucking hate him. I hate what he did to me and I hate that I let him. He's royally fucked me up now. I'm never going to be the same. I-fuck, I want to break something."
//Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you. //
He feels like he's drowning. God, Tommy just threw him in the water and fucking held him there. He's pushing Harry's head under and not letting him come up.
// the water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing.//
"I'm glad you found me in the hallway," Harry whispers. "If you didn't I don't know where I'd be. I wouldn't have thrown the pictures off the balcony. I would still be with him. I didn't- fuck, I didn't think anybody was going to care."
"I care, okay? Hazza, I care so fucking much. I care about you and I hear you, okay? Don't ever think I don't." Louis grabs Harry's face in his hands.
And he kisses him.
-
Five months post-hallway Harry, Louis kisses Harry every chance he can. Harry's not complaining, either. He'd be lying if he says he hadn't thought about kissing Louis a couple times prior to Hallway Night. He sees this nice looking boy in his soccer uniform every so often and can't help it. Or sees him in his skinny jeans with his fucking amazing thighs. Of course he wants to kiss him.
They haven't gone all the way yet. And, God, does Harry want to. But any time they get anywhere near all the way he panics and freaks out because of all this bad stuff Tommy's drilled into his head. Louis is patient, though. He's patient and calm and quiet and goes slow. Harry's pretty sure he's in love.
Niall thinks Harry's just using Louis as his bounce back. He says the relationship's moving too fast for any of it to be real. Harry strongly disagrees.
// I think I am finally clean. //
Now, Louis and Harry are laying on the couch watching FRIENDS reruns cuddled up together. Louis is the one watching the show, Harry's pocketed beside him with a leg between his thighs and his face in Louis' neck. Louis wouldn't have it any other way. He's running his fingers through Harry's hair, working out small knots.
Then he gives a totally accidentally, particularly hard tug that makes Harry groan. "Sorry, bub," Louis apologizes quickly.
"Do that again," Harry murmurs, kissing Louis' neck.
"Huh?"
"Do it again. Pull my hair again." he begs, breathing hot over Louis' collarbone. Louis does. Harry fucking melts. He becomes a whimpering mess.
"You okay, babe? Did I hurt you?"
"No, no. Fuck, felt good. Do it again, please." Louis can feel it, he can feel Harry starting to rut against his thigh.
It goes on like that, Louis tugging Harry's hair and whispering absolute filth into the boys ear until he comes, just like that.
Harry pays Louis back with a fucking fantastic blowjob, of course.
"I didn't think about him," Harry whispers, sucking on Louis' neck. "That entire time, I didn't think about him."
"I would hope not, H."
"I haven't thought about him in a long time. Not since you."
"He still haunts you like you're still with him," Louis says lowly, smoothing a hand over Harry's head. "I don't like it at all, bub."
"It'll be like that for a long time."
"What did he do to you?" Louis asks, swallowing hard.
Harry sits up, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch down over him. "Um... It didn't start out bad. We were good at first. Then one day I made him mad and he hit me. And he must've realized how much control he could have over me because I was willing to give it up, I was infatuated with him."
"And it escalated."
Harry nods, gulping. "Every time he hurt me he would apologize. Every single time he promised it was the last and I believed him, I fucking believed him."
"Did he ever, like..."
"Rape me."
"Yeah, I guess."
Harry shakes his head. "No, never. But he did... he liked inflicting pain while we were having sex. And looking back on it now I could like it. Not as extreme as he took it, but... He was never big on aftercare. We would fuck but that was it."
Louis bites down hard on his bottom lip. "Do you wanna go see a movie?"
"Right now?"
Louis nods. "Yeah. Let's get changed and go see something."
Harry stares at Louis, mouth open slightly.
"C'mon, maybe I'll suck you off in the back of the theatre."
-
The next several weeks are filled with late night movies and stolen kisses and cooked meals and hanging around the music shop and sex. God, the sex. Sex with Louis is unlike anything Harry's ever had before. Granted, Tommy's the only other person who's ever fucked him, but still. Sometimes it's slow and gentle and that's what Harry calls making love. He knows that's what making love is. But other times it's rough and Louis divulges on all of Harry's kinks.
Harry doesn't look like he'd be kinky, is the thing. That's what Louis loves. If you look at Harry you would think he likes begging for a dick in him until he gets it or likes getting spanked as long as Louis tells him he's a good boy. He doesn't look like he'd let out any curse words, he doesn't even do it during his daily life. But when they're in the bedroom Harry let's out strings of them like a song or mantra.
Louis has been with more guys than he can use one hand to count, but Harry is nothing like them.
// Ten months sober, I must admit just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it. //
They're coming home from another late night movie when Harry sees Tommy for the first time in ten months. They've avoided him every day despite living right across from each other.
Harry freezes, causing Louis to tug on his arm. "What's wrong, love-" he cuts himself off when he sees Tommy.
Tommy pauses in putting the key in his door and comes over to Louis and Harry's. "You've bounced back rather quick, haven't you, hazza?" he asks, smirking.
"Harry," Harry corrects weakly. "S'harry, not hazza."
Tommy arches his eyebrows. "You know you'd never talk to me that way," he frowns. "Has this one got you runnin' a bit of a potty mouth now?"
Harry doesn't say anything. Louis' hands are clenched into fists.
"Nothing?" Tommy asks. "Oh."
"Leave us alone, Tommy." Harry says, voice pleading.
Tommy hooks a finger under Harry's chin, lifting the boys gaze towards him and tsking. "Oh, Harry." He muses.
"Don't touch him," Louis says finally, pulling Tommy's arm away. "Keep your hands off my boyfriend."
"Ooh, that quick bouncing back?" Tommy sings. "Wow, Harry."
"I don't know who the fuck you think you are but you can't taunt him like this. What you did to him broke him and he's still not okay again. You're fucking lucky I didn't call the cops on you. Fuck, I still can. Leave us - leave him the fuck alone."
"Louis," Harry says softly, tugging on his arm. "C'mon, let's go inside."
"You're probably all bark and no fucking bite." Tommy spits. "He using you as a bounce back. Once you patch up all his broken pieces he's going to leave you're never going to see him again."
Louis punches him. Harry gasps and immediately grabs the key, rushing into the apartment. Louis follows close behind. "Harry, I-"
"No," Harry says shakily, scampering as far away from Louis as possible. "No."
"No, baby. Harry."
"Don't fucking come near me."
"Hazza," Louis says softly. "I didn't want to punch him but he wouldn't fucking shut up. He was going to keep taunting you and me and someone was getting punched eventually."
"No." Harry repeats.
"Love, you know I'd never hit you," he says calmly. "Ever. I could never hurt you, babydoll. I can't even think of it."
Harry's expression softens a little. "You promise?"
"I swear, H. I could never hurt you."
// Ten months older I won't give in, now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it. //
The next night they're drinking tea and watching the snow fall over London's streets when Harry swallows hard. "I want you to meet my mum." he says.
Louis freezes. "What?"
"I want to go home tomorrow, and I want you to meet my mum."
"Hazza, are you sure?"
"I haven't seen her since Tommy. I miss her. And I want you to meet her."
"You haven't been home?"
Harry shakes his head. "Nope."
"Why?"
"Because when I go home I think of all the times I brought him there. I don't like it."
"why would you wanna risk that, baby?"
"I have you now. You make it all okay. The past ten months have been rough. I've done a lot of falling and a lot of healing. You showed me what it was to love again, Louis. You showed me what it's like to be treated properly and what it's like to be truly loved. I can go home and face all that and not have to worry about falling apart because I know you're there."
Louis stares at his tea. "If I hadn't found you in the hallway, would you be back with him?"
"Honestly? Yeah. Because he was home to me. But he was a shitty one with no roof. You're home now. One with a roof and a pool and a nice kitchen."
"Are you comparing me to your dream house?"
Harry giggles into his sweater-covered hands. "Maybe I am. The point is you mean a lot to me. Thank you."
Louis leans over, closer to Harry. "I love you," he whispers. "I know it may seem crazy and fast but I do and that's the truth."
Harry grins dopily, unable not to. "I love you too."
"Thank god, I was beginning to think I really was just the bounce back."
Harry rolls his eyes. "Kiss me you fool."
-
Harry knew he was messed up from Tommy. Tommy broke him in the only way Tommy knew how. But through ten months of dinner and movie dates, TV show binges, meals cooked and nights spent looking at the stars, Louis has managed to wash away every trace of Tommy. Harry's bruises are long gone, scars faded into his skin. Tommy is nothing but an awful, awful memory when he's with Louis.
Louis took him in and scrubbed Harry clean.