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English
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Published:
2023-07-21
Updated:
2025-03-03
Words:
12,499
Chapters:
7/?
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49
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148
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7,025

WitchChat

Summary:

WitchChat is a communication app for witches at Fort Salem. The main goal is fast and secure communication between soldiers. Will it actually be used for that? Hell no.

Notes:

So this is 100% pure crack, like I'm not even joking. I'm playing loose and fast with canon.

Main things:
- Alder won't die.
- Making things less depressing and more crack
- Should be sequential
- We're fast tracking to season 2, so Alder and the biddies can show up.

Feel free to suggest ideas in the comments. I have a very rough draft of direction but I'm 100% chill doing some fun prompts / ideas.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Welcome to WitchChat

Chapter Text

WITCH CHAT 

– ACTIVATED 08:22 EST –


DO NOT DISCUSS TOP SECRET INFORMATION UNLESS AUTHORIZED

GINGER, BROODING_WITCH, ABI joined the chat

 

ABI: what the hell are these names you all picked

GINGER: what? I’m a ginger

BROODING_WITCH: Tally yours is pretty bad

GINGER: excuse me, you're brooding witch wtf is that

BROODING_WITCH: accurate

ABI: they're both bad, 💀

GINGER: yours is just your name?????

ABI: so? 

ADMIN: Real names are now enforced.

TALLY: oh come on

ABIGAIL: told ya, y'all's were bad

ABIGAIL: plus this is supposed to be official 

RAELLE: yeah yeah whatever

TALLY: I still think mine was fine

ABIGAIL left the chat

TALLY: what no goodbye

RAELLE: kill me, I don’t want to go to clss

TALLY: Abigail is already mad at you, thinks your going to tank our scores

RAELLE: maybe if she stops with the high atlantic attitude we wouldn’t have an issue

TALLY: Maybe :/ heading to class

TALLY left the chat

RAELLE: FINE I’LL GO TO CLASS

RAELLE left the chat

 

******

 - CHAT REOPENED 12:27 EST -

TALLY, RAELLE, ABIGAIL joined the chat

 

RAELLE: you tried to switch units???

ABIGAIL: Yeah… I mean. 

ABIGAIL: It’s nothing against you.

ABIGAIL: Actually it was. Look I get conscription is mandatory but I want to do well.

ABIGAIL: literally my Mom is here. It looks bad if my squad is trash. 

RAELLE: >.>  i will make an effort to do better. But not everyone wants to buy into this. 

TALLY: my mom hates it

TALLY: told me I should come home

ABIGAIL:  : / 

TALLY: I mean I get it. All her sisters died serving. But I just feel like I’m a part of something by being here.

ABIGAIL: We're here for you Tal

RAELLE: Look I will do better. Alright? We start over.

TALLY: SURE

TALLY: oops caps 

ABIGAIL: Alright we do this, we're getting into WAR COLLEGE.

 

ABIGAIL changed the chat name to “DREAM TEAM”



TALLY:  :) 

ABIGAIL: Also you know whenever you want to invite your friend to this chat let us know. 

TALLY: friend?

ABIGAIL: Raelle's friend.

RAELLE: Going to go study bye. 

 

RAELLE left the chat

 

TALLY: ? 

ABIGAIL left the chat

TALLY: ?????

 

TALLY left the chat

 

*****

- CHAT REOPENED 18:27 EST -

TALLY, RAELLE, and ABIGAIL joined the chat

 

ABIGAIL: TALLY HAS BOY TROUBLE LETS GO

TALLY: I mean I guess

RAELLE: ?

ABIGAIL: YOU DIDNT SEE THE GUY SHE WAS MAKING EYES AT FINALLY SOMEONE SHE’S INTERESTED IN SHITBIRD

RAELLE: Okay maybe take it down a notch or two.

ABIGAIL: well I need something to gossip b/c your gay brooding lesbian pining is driving me crazy

RAELLE: Gay and lesbian? Am I double gay 🌈🌈

ABIGAIL: Yes. you're a squared gay. But come on Raelle this is you when the new guy showed up

TALLY: o.o 

RAELLE: It’s fine, whatever

TALLY: I mean I don’t know my guy is attractive. I just don’t know how I’d talk to him I guess.

ABIGAIL: like he’s a human?

TALLY: Look I didn’t really have a lot of relationships in the compound

ABIGAIL:

 

TALLY: that just seems rude

ABIGAIL: Look I get it, it’s new but it’s not that big of deal. 

ABIGAIL: just keep making heart eyes at him. He'll figure it out at some point. Or I don’t know pull him into a hallway and say you want to fuck him

TALLY: Okay not doing that.

ABIGAIL: Rae back me up

ABIGAIL: Rae!  

ABIGAIL: where is Raelle? She was here a minute ago

TALLY: over there

ABIGAIL: oooooo Scylla, more gay pining or not looks like it’s going okay

ABIGAIL: get it girl

TALLY: Abi stop it

ABIGAIL: WHAT? The lady needs a lady.  

TALLY: I know but just let her have her space 

TALLY: plus you don't know that she wants her 

ABIGAIL: Tally open your damn eyes, that girl peak lust

ABIGAIL: this is our girl, with that girl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABIGAIL: unbridled peak lesbian lust

ABIGAIL: ready to go downnnnn all the way downnn

TALLY: ALRIGHT I got it

RAELLE: omg, how many messages did you all send what the hell is this img

ABIGAIL: nothing important happened hows your lady

RAELLE: not my lady

ABIGAIL: I don't know seems like gal pals to me
 

RAELLE: when the fuck did you make this

ABIGAIL: like 30 seconds ago 

TALLY: what are gal pals

ABIGAIL: you know roommates

TALLY: ??

RAELLE: I'm not discussing this with you

TALLY: ??? Hello?

RAELLE left the chat

TALLY: what are gal pals? friends?

ABIGAIL: you sweet summer child 

 

ABIGAIL left the chat

TALLY: oh come on

TALLY left the chat