Chapter Text
ASTERIX AND THE INJURED SOLDIER
One morning, Asterix and Obelix were on their way across the forest to deliver a menhir. That was when they were surrounded by 15 Romans.
“Aright Gauls, you’re coming with us!” snapped one Roman soldier.
Asterix and Obelix smiled. Obelix placed down his menhir and Asterix drank from his gourd.
Powered up with the magic potion, Asterix was ready for action. The soldiers started to attack, but of course they were no match for Asterix and Obelix.
THWACK! DOFF! BOP! BOFF! PUNCH! OUCH!
About 9 soldiers were getting beaten up, and the other 6 decided to run back to Compendium.
However, one soldier, a 25 year old named Abacus bumped into the Menhir. The massive rock started to wobble and….
Abacus screamed in horror as his foot met a terrible fate.
SMACK!
The menhir landed on top of his foot. Abacus howled in pain. Asterix and Obelix saw what happened.
Obelix lifted up the menhir and Asterix examined Abacus’ foot.
The Roman winced in pain. He tried to walk with his foot but the pain was so bad.
“I think your foot is broken,” said Asterix.
Abacus was devastated.
Asterix and Obelix looked around and saw that the rest of the Romans had gone.
And they just couldn’t leave Abacus there.
Asterix had an idea.
“Let’s take him to the druids,” he told Obelix. “Maybe they’ll have a potion to med his foot.”
Obelix carried his menhir and Asterix carried Abacus across the forest to the Druids’ sacred hideout.
They arrived at a tree and Asterix knocked on it. A small door from the middle of the tree opened and a druid popped his head out.
“Morning Fanfix,” said Obelix.
“Morning Obelix, I see you brought my Menhir, here’s your money,” said the druid.
Then he noticed Abacus.
“What is a Roman doing here?” cried Fanfix.
“The menhir landed on his foot and broke it,” said Asterix. “Do you have any potion to mend his foot?”
“No I don’t,” panicked the druid. “I think your friend Getafix has one, now please get the Roman out of here! If he discovers the sacred location of the druids, we’re doomed!”
Abacus looked at Asterix woefully.
“All right, thanks anyway,” Asterix said to the druid.
Asterix and Obelix carried Abacus away from the tree and just moved on across the forest.
“We’ll take you back to Compendium,” Asterix told Abacus.
“Thanks for trying to help me,” said Abacus.
Asterix and Obelix arrived outside Compendium.
“Romans! We have your friend, his foot is broken!” Asterix called.
The Romans were about to open the gates, but General Caous stopped them.
“You fools! Don’t you see? This is a trick! As soon as we let them in, the Gauls will come in and invade us!”
The General Caous ran to the top of the gates and shouted back at Asterix, Obelix and Abacus.
“HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM? I’M NOT FALLING FOR YOUR TRICKS! YOU CAN TAKE ABACUS AND GET LOST! I NEVER LIKED HIM ANYWAY!”
The other Romans couldn’t believe what General Caous said, they looked at Abacus with sympathy.
“WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS WAITING FOR?” Chaos snapped at them. “GET BACK TO WORK!”
The other Romans just went back to what they were doing.
Abacus was upset.
“Can I go in and punch that horrible general, please?” Obelix begged Asterix.
“No,” said Asterix. “We’ll take Abacus back to the village.”
“But Chief Vitalstatistix wouldn’t like this,” said Obelix.
“We have no choice,” said Asterix.
So he and Obelix carried Abacus all the way to their village.
The rest of the Gauls were shocked to see Asterix and Obelix bring a Roman soldier to their village. Asterix and Obelix placed Abacus on Getafix’ bed and told him to stay there.
Meanwhile, Asterix, Obelix and Getafix spoke to Vitalstatistix in his hut.
Asterix told the chief the whole story. Vitalstatistix understood.
“I’m not comfortable having a Roman stay here,” he said. “It’ll only bring more Romans here.”
“Goody, that means more Romans to fight!” Obelix said, clapping his hands with joy.
“It’ll take ages for his foot to heal,” Vitalstatistix added.
“I have some potion that might speed up the process,” said Getafix.
“Alright, that Roman can stay, but as soon as his foot is healed, he’s gone,” Vitalstatistix ordered. “Understood?”
“Yes,” said Asterix.
A few minutes later, Getafix gave some potion for Abacus to make his foot heal faster.
“It can take maybe a few weeks to heal,” said Getafix.
“Thank you,” said Abacus as he laid on the bed.
Hours later, Asterix came to check on Abacus.
“How are you?” he asked him.
“Depressed,” sighed Abacus. “I should have never joined the army. My father was right. I should have been a fishmonger like him.”
Just then. Unhygienix entered the hut.
“Did you say your father was a fishmonger?”
“Yes,” said Abacus. “What is that pong?”
“Get out, Unhygienix,” said Asterix.
“I don’t smell anything,” replied Unhygienix. “So why did you become a soldier instead of a fishmonger?”
“I have a wife and baby boy,” said Abacus. “Here’s a picture of them.”
He took a picture from his pocket and showed it to Asterix and Unhygienix.
However, since there were no cameras in those days, what Asterix and Unhygienix were looking at was a crude drawing of a stick man, stick woman and a baby. All with beady eyes and smiles.
“Your baby has got your eyes,” said Unhygienix.
Asterix didn’t bother making a sarcastic remark, so he just smiled with agreement.
“I was getting underpaid as a fishmonger, so my friends were joining the army,” explained Abacus. “You get paid more. So I decided to join……..I later regretted that decision. That General Caous made my life a misery. He was horrible. So, I’m actually glad I ended up here actually. Besides, it’s nice to not hear the general barking at you all the time.”
“No, just Obelix’s dog barking,” said Asterix.
Obelix came in with a plate of wild boar.
“Food for the patient,” he said.
“Is that wild boar?” asked Abacus.
“Only the best,” replied Obelix.
“I never had wild boar before, I’d like to try it,” said Abacus.
Obelix gave him the plate and Abacus ate the boar.
“By Jupiter, it is delicious,” said Abacus.
“And they come in many different flavours,” said Obelix.
Little did the Gauls know, was that Abacus’ Roman friends; Markus, Parus and Francus were spying on them from the forest.
They thought that Abacus was being held hostage.
“What can you see?” asked Markus.
Parus was the lookout. He could see Abacus in the hut eating the wild boar.
“Abacus is eating,” said Parus.
Francus gasped.
“What is it?” asked Markus.
“Don’t you see? They’re fattening him up!” cried Francus. “I heard these Gauls are cannibals.”
“Rubbish!” replied Markus and Parus.
“What else can you see?” asked Markus.
Parus looked around and saw Unhygienix with a massive knife.
Parus gasped.
“One of them has a massive knife!” he said to his friends.
“I told you!” cried Francus.
Parus then saw Fulliautomatix with his massive hammer.
Parus then whimpered.
“One of them has a hammer!”
“Oh this is bad,” cried Markus.
“We need to rescue Abacus!” said Francus.
“But how?” asked Markus.
Just then, they heard some tuneless singing from up in the tree.
“What is that?” asked Parus.
They could see Cacofonix trying to sing in his usual tuneless warbling.
“He must be the lookout,” cried Markus.
“No that's not it,” Cacofonoix said to himself, as he crossed out something on a piece of paper with his quill.
He tried to sing another note which was unbearable for Parus, Markus and Francus.
“No, that's still not it,” Cacofonix said to himself again. “Hmm………oh I know.”
Cacofonix inhaled and sang a very loud tune.
Markus, Francus and Parus couldn't take it anymore and they ran away for dear life.
Inside Getafix’s hut, Abacus covered his ears.
“What is that noise?”
“Hold on,” Fulliautomatix told him.
The blacksmith chucked his hammer from his own hut, out of the village, across the forest, and finally to the tree which Cacofonix was on.
THWACK! The hammer hit him and the bard fell to the ground.
Markus, Parus and Francus ran further and further into the forest and stopped.
“These Gauls are crazy!” cried Markus.
“Who was that man singing?” asked Parus.
“Don’t you see? The Guals work with dark magic,” said Francus.
“What?” asked Markus and Parus.
“That man warbling, he has the devil’s tongue,” Francus explained. “The man with the hammer is the village torturer and they have a druid……….oh this is bad, this is very bad.”
“Whatever it takes, we will rescue Abacus or die trying,” said Markus.
“Agreed,” replied Parus