Chapter Text
*Azulin eats Coco*
Gordi: This is why mom didn’t fucking love you!
Padre on church organ: Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book!
Sargento Caricias: You know what?! You’re in time out! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!
Literally every soldier: This camp is a FUCKING nightmare!
Sonrisas: Road work ahead? Uhh, yeah! I sure hope it does!
Sonrisas: Get down to Del Taco! They got a new thing called- “Fr e sh a voca d o!” FR E SH A-
*Padre holding Cuddly Heart Pendant and Bible*
Azulin? Do you want the prophecy?
*yeets him into pure insanity*
Pandi: F- Blackie you gotta get out of the car
Blackie: What? Why?
Pandi: There’s a weight limit!
Blackie: … Do I fucking look 4 tons to you, ya dick head?!
(For all of you thinking Gordi would fit better instead of Blackie, Pandi wouldn’t even let him in the car. That or he’d just push him out as soon as he sees the sign)
(Edit, I just realized that this works a lot better with Moffy and Gregorio so… yeah.)
*Coco walking up to his wife making dinner*
Coco: that’s what good pussy sounds like
*evades spoon being thrown*
Grimaldo: You ready to fucking die?
Pompon: I’m a bad bitch! You can’t kill me!
*insert the gang at camp pushing Caricias’s air mattress onto the river while he’s sleeping here*
Achuchones: *blows Gordi a kiss*
Azulin: *grabs it before it can reach Gordi and throws it into a blender*
“Grimaldo, can you read number 23 for the class?”
“No, I cannot!”
What Up? I’m Grimaldo, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned how to read! :D
*the group performing dogshit in training and the generals pulling their paws down their faces with sad guitar music in the background*
How the fandom sees Pompon:
*skipping gayly (literally) across the room with phone and sitting down* Hehehe! Hehe! Azulin~!
Canon Pompon:
*smacks random soldier with pillow*
Move ‘tch! Get out the WAY! *throws pillow at fallen soldier*
Padre: Go ahead and introduce yourselves
Achuchones: My name is Achuchones with a B, and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire life-
Padre: Stop stop stop. Where?
Achuchones: Hmm?
Padre: Where’s the B?
Achuchones: There’s a bee?!
*the entire group on a track field free styling* Ya. Yah-YEET, yah, yah, yah- YEET-
*the mimosin twins in the snow recording a rat*
Aww, it’s kind of cute!
*rat moves*
AHHH -
*Gordi holding his hand in the river and a goldfish swims right into his hand*
Padre: Who ate all the damn Nutella?
*the entire group with nutella on them looks at Gordi*
Everyone: … Gooooordi!
Gordi: Y’ALL PUTA-
Coronel Otto: Why is your report card on the ceiling?!
Pompon: You said bring my grades up.
Coronel Otto: … I did say that. Lemme see-
Azulin: I always take a good picture
*insert montage of whoever tf PROBABLY THE FANDOM taking photos of him at random moments and it looking great*
Young Azulin looking at the fish at the pond:
Look at all those brothers/boyfriends!
Me @Azulin after the “blanket” scene:
🎶Why the fuck you lyin?🎶
Why you always lyyyyiiiin!
Mmm Dios Mios,
🎶Stop fucckiiing lyyyyyin!🎶