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Eiji couldn’t sleep.
It was a given though; sleep didn’t come so easily as it did before. Before everything that happened in New York, before meeting Shorter, Sing, Yut Lung, and many other friends. Before meeting Ash. He is someone Eiji holds very dearly to his heart. Their relationship was very hard to describe. More than friends, but not quite lovers either. They never got the chance to explore their thoughts and feelings.
Eiji couldn’t believe how fast his life had changed. From that day on, nothing was quite the same anymore. He went from being an average young adult to getting tied up in the complicated world of New York. Although those days were dangerous, Eiji can’t help but miss that time a little.
He tossed and turned, his dark hair laying in soft tangles across the pillow. He hadn’t touched his hair since 7 years ago. Eiji’s hair was the last thing that Ash touched before passing on. It was the one of the last bits of evidence that Ash had existed in this world. He couldn’t bear to discard that memory of him. Eiji sat up in his bed, giving up on his futile attempts to sleep. He suddenly walked up to his desk and mindlessly searched through the wooden drawers. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he knew that he had to find it.
His fingers touched something flat.
Eiji pulled it out, and found out that it was a disc. The word ‘Waltz’ was messily scrawled on the center of it. It was Ash’s handwriting. “I almost forgot about this.” he muttered quietly to himself. He tried to recall what the piece sounded like. Eiji started to hum a faint tune as he walked down the stairs. He found his record player on the shelf of books. Brushing the dust off, Eiji gently lowered it onto the floor. He then felt something nuzzle his hand.
Eiji looked down to see his dog Buddy looking at him. He gently smiled, ruffling the dog’s fur. Buddy sighed in content, wagging his tail. “Sorry Buddy. I was trying to be quiet, but I guess I still woke you up.” he said. He plugged in the record player, and placed the obsidian plate on it. He moved the tonearm, and waited.
The machine started up, coming to life, and the music started.
The memories rapidly pierced through his mind, and Eiji remembered. He recalled the night when Ash played this, the coolness of the floor tiles when they danced together with their feet bare. The laughs they exchanged whenever Eiji messed up, and the warmth of Ash’s embrace.
We were so happy during the brief moments we shared , Eiji thought. In moments like these, they didn’t have a care in the world. It was only the two of them enjoying each other’s company. Ash got to be a teenager again with Eiji and temporarily forget the trauma that plagued him. Those were moments of solace for him. Eiji wished that he had comforted him more.
If Ash was still alive, would they have been able to live a happy life?
The man slowly began to dance to the piano under the pale moonlight. One hesitant step at a time, pulling the routine from the depths of his memories. Eiji moved quietly, dancing in time with the music. The piano notes rang throughout the room and in his empty heart.
Everything hurts.
He really did miss Ash. He missed his voice, his scent, his touch. Eiji missed the presence of him by his side. For a second, he almost thought that Ash was in front of him. His steps came to a stop, and he fell to his knees. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Eiji felt his throat close up.
A strangled, hopeless cry escaped his trembling lips, and Eiji broke down. Warm tears streamed down his face as he sobbed. He clutched at his heart, the pain unbearable. The music ended, fading into nothing.
Eiji let his shaking body fall onto the cold floor. He curled up, swallowed by the grief that had overcome him. Buddy let out small whines, curling up against him. The dog nudged Eiji’s arms, trying to comfort him. Eiji hugged Buddy, his shoulders trembling.
Between sobs, he silently cried out.
“I miss you, Ash.”