Chapter Text
When I was a dependent, I remember watching my parents settle in for the night with a curious envy. They were the perfect Abnegation couple. I knew that even before I knew what the word meant - always so content to cozy up to a bit of mending, a report from the Council, or any light, mindless chore that Caleb or I had neglected in favor of running amok. I’d sit on the stairs playing dominos - the kind where you knock them all over one after another, not the boring kind - and I’d watch them.
They had a routine. Quiet, for the most part, and consistent. My father had his spot in the living room where he could perch one leg atop his knee and get the setting sun to fall right onto his papers. My mother was more mobile but no less content with her hands clacking away with her knitting needles or folding laundry in methodical twists and turns.
I had yet to find my routine in Dauntless.
It was easy to blame the chaos that had first ripped through Chicago when I joined. Even now, well over a year past the uneasy stalemate that concluded the Erudite Insurgency, there hadn’t been a return to normality.
Case in point I was spending my evening holed up on the back platform of a supply train. I squinted through the dying sunset around me into the creeping twilight. It was a far cry from being at home in a comfortable chair with family around. I don’t think my father would have put up with the twenty pound pack on my back or the icy chill that came in the early winter air as night sucked away the day’s fading heat.
Taking the train out to Amity sucked. Other than midday there were only supply trains traveling back and forth, so there were never any passengers to while away the eighty or so minutes it took. I couldn’t even hop off to steal a quick visit with anyone. There wouldn’t be another one running until some time tomorrow. I had been summoned by Victoria on behalf of Johanna, Amity’s ever stalwart representative. She wanted a Divergent’s opinion on something, so off I went quick as you like.
I’d welcome a late night run to Amity based on wanting my honest opinion. It was far better than getting exiled to the fence for eternal guard duty, which was the current “best” suggested fate for Divergents like myself.
“Sure, be a part of the faction. We’ll keep you around for the shit jobs. Away from anything significant. Just in case,” I mused darkly. “Thanks, Chicago.”
No, I would put on a nice face for Johanna and give my politely crafted response. It was far more preferable to put up with camping out with the pacifists than to spend a fortnight at a time fighting ice storms, windburn, and the urge to see just how effective the fall restraints really were up on the fence.
Seventy-six minutes of wind and grinding my teeth later, I was presenting myself to the kind, patient, and not at all resentful Dauntless who were currently stationed at the checkpoint at the gate. Hard feelings would be the polite term for the attitudes between those sent to the fence as punishment after the Insurgency and those like myself who had been on the winning side. Well, “winning” being a relative term.
It hadn’t felt like winning when many came out the other side with permanent injuries, physical and mental, and even more hadn’t come out at all. Not that there weren’t casualties on the Erudite side, either, but I didn’t much feel for them when they had been perfectly OK cutting down Divergents left and right if they weren’t captured for Jeanine’s research.
I bore the toothy snarl of the Dauntless who checked my credentials. They shuffled slowly between the gate and the tiny booth that their partner sat in, probably huddled next to a heater. I didn’t let them affect my mood at all, bearing the very-much-audible vitriol being exchanged mere feet from me. I was being asked to give advice and opinions to faction leaders - even if it was just happy-go-oblivious Amity - while these two would be stuck here until they passed their psych evals.
It took so damn long to get to Amity. I’d left my room just before dinner while the sun was still up. Now I had to squint and follow my flashlight’s beam to trace the worn path from the fence to Amity’s main compound. I could have waited and hitched a ride with one of the pickup trucks that was there to receive the supplies that had been on the train with me, but then it would have been even later. There was a delicate line to walk when it came to inter-faction relations. Showing up late because I didn’t want to walk two short miles wasn’t exactly acceptable.
I’d like to say that I recognized some of the Amity who waved cheerfully to me when I did finally get to the Amity compound. I had been out here maybe two, three weeks prior to now. But mild friendliness wasn’t really my strong suit, especially with the fully fallen night’s chill eating at the skin that poked out between my layers. I followed the lights to the heavy wooden beam framed building and knocked quickly on the front door.
Johanna answered the door herself, startling me. I think that I recovered well though as I moved my flashlight’s beam to stop shining directly in her face. The warm lights from inside the building were inviting like any good Amity home. “Hello Johanna,” I said quietly. “It’s Tris Prior.”
When she invited me in, I felt again the itch that sits behind my shoulder blades when I walk through Abnegation. Her offer of food or water was courteous and exactly how Caleb and I had been trained to act. Amity and Abnegation push and pull on one another’s tenets with the same ease that Erudite and Dauntless borrow one another’s methodologies. Inter-faction cooperation should feel right. I still haven’t shaken my desires to be fully Dauntless, though, and I had to force a smile as I gently declined Johanna’s offers.
“No, thank you. I’m here to help, though,” I said. “Victoria sent me. Said it was urgent?” I let the question hang in the air between us as I fidgeted with the pack on my shoulders.
“Of course. And thank you for your quick response, Beatrice,” Johanna said. She gestured for me to head into a large circular room at the center of the building. A loft ran along the edges of the room reminding me oh so briefly of the cliff sides ringing the Pit in Dauntless before I took in the greenery in pots and planters which covered them. Life flourished in Amity in ways that we didn’t have. Then again, life in Dauntless was more in the raised voices or movement of bodies rather than plants and sunshine.
The greenery had me distracted though and I didn’t realize the people assembled in front of me. They were gathered around a low table, many seated on cushions or perched on rough hewn stools. Myself and Johanna were the only ones standing. “Take a seat,” Johanna said.
I ducked onto the closest cushion at the corner of the table. Johanna wound her way to the head of the table. I smothered a smirk. For someone who wasn’t the head of the faction, merely their voice, Johanna certainly was treated like a leader. “I’m pleased that you were able to come out on such short notice. We know how busy Dauntless has been of late,” she said. Flattery. Subtle, but present. I took some pride that it was directed at me, Divergent though I may be.
“Victoria directed me that this was urgent. So here I am,” I repeated from before. This was mostly for the benefit of those seated at the table around us.
One of the men turned to Johanna. His face was set with a stern expression. “You said they would be sending an expert. She’s barely older than a dependent,” he said harshly.
“Age has little bearing on expertise or wisdom,” Johanna chided him. “Let us keep our own counsel before we turn aside who Victoria has sent.” I pressed my lips in a flat line. She wasn’t exactly countering the man’s outburst, but it would do for now. I had learned over these past months that often not speaking up was key to keeping people’s respect. Or at least their attention.
I folded my hands on the low table and tried to keep from hunching. My bag sat in my lap, accessible and a little bit in the way. Johanna turned back to me. “Beatrice, we have a bit of a conundrum. As you may know, Amity has taken our role as peaceful participants and supporters of the city quite seriously. We try to execute care and caution when making decisions particularly as life has started to return to some normalcy,” she explained.
There was a bit of a pregnant pause. I nodded and finally said, “Sure. Amity is always, er, supportive of the efforts to calm things down.” It felt like the right thing to say, and I was rewarded with Johanna continuing with her explanation.
“Exactly. Our goal is not to exacerbate things. Particularly now with the many issues surrounding Divergents and the worsening tensions with the Factionless.” I kept my placated expression on my face to let everyone know, no, of course I was not offended by calling my nature and existence an issue for the whole damn city. My patience was getting a little frayed though. This was a regular, irritating occurrence.
Johanna said, “However, we have found ourselves in a situation where both action and inaction will potentially lead to problems. We have been approached and given control over a situation where, frankly, Amity would much rather remain outside of.”
Looking around the table, I could see a wide range of emotion on display. Irritation was at the forefront along with some pained, conflicted twists of faces. She was very much speaking the truth about her faction. “Hence why you wanted an outside opinion?” I offered.
She smiled. “In part, yes. We also had hoped that perhaps Dauntless, in its efforts to continue their good will to the city, might consider taking charge of this situation.”
Victoria hadn’t sent me with any authority. I was only here to give my opinion. At most some suggestions. “Maybe let’s stop dancing around the topic and actually name the problem. It’s growing late and this has been hanging over our heads for long enough,” a woman to Johanna’s left suggested.
“Thank you for your thoughts, Suze,” Johanna said. The sentiment echoed around the table. Amity. Always grateful for one another’s help. She cleared her throat and regarded me once more. “There is someone who has come seeking asylum. Amity has provided some political protection in the past - to people within your faction and like yourself who wanted to avoid Erudite’s injustice. And that had been a difficult decision, then. As I mentioned-”
“You don’t like to be involved,” I finished for her.
Her mouth twitched. “We prefer to remain outside of the political issues of the city as a general rule. Candor is far better suited to making judgment calls as a whole. But that isn’t to say that we here do not pay attention to what is going on,” Johanna insisted. We were back to dancing around the issue, speaking in generalities rather than details.
I settled my elbows on my bag, leaning forward. “So why is it a big deal that you have another person seeking asylum? Just hand them over to Candor. I’m sure they can send a car within the next twelve hours. Problem solved.”
Murmurs sprang up around the table. My comment resonated with some, but not all. Clearly this had already been brought up. Johanna raised a hand to bring quiet once more. “Our ultimate goal would be for this person to be brought to Candor if that was the best place for their fate to be decided. However, we have... reservations... that they would be able to provide suitable protection until that decision was made,” Johanna said stiffly.
“Because of the Divergent thing?” I offered. “Are they Divergent? Candor hasn’t had too much of a problem - at least publicly - with addressing Divergents. I’ve been comfortable going there.” Comfortable was a relative term, but I didn’t have too many reservations about being on site in the faction of the just. Then again, I also had gone through my fair share of combat training where I knew how to defend myself. That wasn’t quite the norm for all Divergents.
“In a way, yes to your first question. And I wouldn’t know the answer to the second. They were part of the anti-Divergent coalition, to speak plainly,” Johanna said.
My train of thought jarred to a halt. “Then absolutely give them to Candor,” I said firmly.
“Even if that would be a death sentence?”
I didn’t appreciate the stony silence that fell over the table. Obviously none of the Amity would be content with that as the end result. I licked my lips and sat back in my chair, stalling as I tried to restart my thoughts.
“Candor is a place of law and order,” I countered. “If their end decision was that someone’s actions are deserving of a quiet, quick death, then I would not be the one to step in and stop them.”
Johanna waved a hand as several of the Amity around the table surged to their feet in anger. “Beatrice, we understand that we cannot control the outcome of a Candor trial. Nor have we tried to interfere in any of their outcomes. Not once,” she said firmly. “But I speak of a ‘justice’ outside of a verdict. Come, you must also know that Jeanine’s untimely demise was no mere accident.”
My stomach soured. “She would have earned that bullet regardless,” I growled. It was an open secret that someone had executed Jeanine mere hours after she was brought into custody. Officially it was a failure of gun safety; it was hard to keep “suicidal” captives from not acting on their impulses. For me, I couldn’t care less.
Johanna’s eyes turned cold as she stared me down. “It is not our place to say so. Still, Candor’s purpose is to serve justice, not revenge,” she said coolly.
“Of course,” I replied. I kept my voice flat to avoid further digging myself into a hole.
“Then you now understand our reservations?”
“Of course,” I repeated. I chewed on the tip of my tongue, literally, as I tried to not spew the next thought rattling around in my head. My hand twisted around my backpack’s strap. I wasn’t successful. “Did you ask Victoria to send a Divergent so that you could get some token approval for protecting this person in the first place?”
Finally I was the one causing uncomfortable glances to be exchanged. No one replied. It might as well have been a resounding yes. I nodded my head slowly and toyed with a buckle. “I can’t speak for everyone like me. I can’t speak for all of Dauntless, either,” I said carefully. “But I do have to admit… you all offered safety to me and my faction members when we needed it. And if you hadn’t, there’s no telling what would have happened.
“We do know exactly what will happen to someone from Jeanine’s regime if they are delivered in a tight, red bow to Candor without supervision. You are right that it wouldn’t be… just. It would be revenge.” It pained me to say so. It was a lot easier to not care about their fate. But I had been on all sides of this. Amity had ensured that I was safe from Jeanine. And later Candor had given me closure - painfully so, but still valuable. It helped me survive. It let me remain in my city, in my faction. Because of both factions I was able to be here giving counsel like a well respected, if tokenized, adult.
My hands stilled on my lap. “I suppose it would make sense to assign a detail or similar to escort the person. Until it’s evident that Candor can adequately protect them from any accidents.”
Johanna’s face took on a familiar quiet smile. “And so you have arrived at what many of us proposed as well,” she said.
The woman from before, Suze, scoffed. “That isn’t what Amity’s role is.”
“Our role is to ensure peace,” someone else countered.
I cleared my throat. “This might be beyond my role here - and remember, I’m just here to give opinion - but Dauntless would surely be better suited to provide protection for someone,” I said. “Especially when the concern is over physical harm occurring. I’m sure that Victoria would be happy to send whomever she thought was best suited.”
Johanna’s eyebrow quirked. “Hasn’t she already?”
I reeled in trying to decipher her meaning. Did she mean it as a compliment? As a question to my competency? Genuine curiosity if I thought Victoria would select me to act in something important like this? “I-I-I,” the word dragged into several syllables as I struggled, “think so? Yes. At very least, I can certainly escort someone back to Dauntless for them to make the final call, yeah.” My confident edge had dropped out again, and I had to fight to regain my composure.
“We would feel most comfortable with a solid commitment,” Johanna replied firmly. Nods around the table showed that the voice of Amity did in fact speak for them all in this.
My hands splayed out in a wide gesture. “I can’t speak for what Leadership will say officially,” I reminded her. She continued to meet my eyes with a level gaze. The nighttime quiet seeped into the room as none of the Amity responded. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” I insisted.
“But you can speak for yourself, can’t you?” Johanna pushed back.
“Well, yes.”
“That’s all we’re asking.”
I choked back a snort. My teeth worried at the tip of my tongue as I debated my response. “You aren’t happy with me just bringing this person to Dauntless because Leadership might decide against continuing to protect them,” I said slowly. Johanna’s nod confirmed my logic.
“Beatrice, several months ago I took you and the others with you into our faction on my own word. Not on Amity’s.” I could feel steel setting in my spine. I was being boxed into this promise. Worst of all, Johanna was right. She had taken us in under her own personal reputation.
I huffed. “You want me to do the same. For someone who wanted me to be Erudite’s lab rat. Or worse - dead, like my parents and half of Abnegation.”
Johanna had the decency to look sympathetic. I think if I had sat closer to her, she would have patted my hand or something equally touching. The people sitting next to me had the decency to look down at their hands or across the table to one of their fellows instead of me. “We want this person to be extended the same mercy and opportunity that you found here. So that Chicago can continue to heal rather than fester. That’s why he came to us; to make amends,” Johanna insisted.
I once again was reminded of her original comment about Dauntless and how this would be an opportunity for them to show their commitment to protecting the city rather than, well, razing it to the ground. We all were supposed to smile, make nice, and deflate our egos. Never mind that the majority of Dauntless hadn’t been given a choice in the situation we had been forced into.
Diplomacy sucked. I didn’t want to make things worse, but did it really have to be this much of a minefield to navigate.
“I can take them, him?-” Johanna nodded briefly “-into protective custody. I’ll take him to Dauntless, see what Leadership thinks. If they want someone else to guard him, I’ll defer to them. Otherwise I’ll bring him to Candor. That’s all that I can promise. I can’t go against my leaders further than that,” I finally conceded.
A low murmur scuttled around the table and a few people sighed in relief. “We have your word on this, Beatrice?” Johanna pressed.
My skin itched. I bared my teeth and raised my palm in a mock salute. “Tris Prior.” I made the emphasis sharp on my first name. “Protector of the political prisoner.”
I heard footsteps. Too many sleepless nights waiting for the other shoe to drop kept me hyper aware of what was going on around me. I twisted my head before they stopped just inside the circumference of the room.
“She can’t take it back now, can she?” the newcomer said gruffly. I surged to my feet, dumping my bag directly into the lap of the woman next to me. At least I wasn’t on a real chair because it would have toppled from the motion. My feet took me a half dozen strides forward before my thoughts could really catch up.
My knuckles collided with his jaw. He had just barely twisted his head to lessen the blow. “You!” I snarled as I wound up for another hit. The Amity around the table were thoroughly upset now, scuffling around and exclaiming their complete amazement that this was happening. Really, they should have expected it. Who the hell would have put Eric Coulter in front of me and not expected me to start throwing punches?
He had a tougher time dodging my next strike. His arms came up to defend his face and I had to switch tactics. I moved to kick one of his legs out from under him - he was still taller than me and I would need the advantage - but didn’t get the opportunity.
“Stop that at once!” Johanna bellowed. I stumbled in sheer surprise from the volume. Someone pushed between Eric and I. It wouldn’t do anything, not when I had combat training and they sang camp songs, but it did allow my conscious brain to kick in over the fight or flight instincts.
I whirled on my heel to glare at Johanna. She was standing now though her knuckles rested on the tabletop in front of her. “This is who you want me to protect?” I spat. “This piece of shit?”
I waited for Eric’s smarmy remark. He was too busy stemming the blood flow from his mouth. I’d made contact with at least some level of force and jarred a tooth it looked like.
“This was precisely the reaction that we did not want,” she said. I scoffed. Johanna continued as though I hadn’t. “I had hoped that cooler heads would prevail. It would seem that you are still plenty Dauntless regardless of your other aptitudes.”
It was getting far too difficult to keep biting my tongue, so I stopped trying. “My aptitudes are none of your goddamn business. How could you keep this from me? How could you expect Dauntless to protect him?” I snarled. “He’s the reason why no one trusts us - Dauntless, Divergents, none of us are trustworthy in the eyes of the city.”
“We were plenty straightforward. He was one of Jeanine’s coalition,” the man separating myself and Eric spoke. I shook my head. My feet took me in a tight loop between Eric and the table. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him for more than a second.
“You said- I thought-” I sputtered, trying to piece my thoughts back into something coherent. The pacing was helping, if only marginally. “It was supposed to be some stupid Nose who licked Jeanine’s boots. Not this sadist.”
Johanna huffed, like this was some tantrum she was too tired to deal with. “He came to us and asked for the chance to be treated fairly. We didn’t lie to you, Beatrice.” The return to my given Abnegation name was a final slap. I rounded again to snarl at Johanna.
“You didn’t lie, but that doesn’t mean you were honest, either. An agreement in bad faith - that’s how you want to handle things with us now? We aren’t even deserving of the whole truth before being dragged into some new manipulation? Well then. I see how it is. And I’ll make sure that Victoria sees, too. This is the respect that Dauntless gets.”
The chill outside was nothing compared to that which had settled between Johanna and I. I couldn’t have cared less. From my side, Eric opened his mouth to say something. I twisted my head sharply and interrupted him. “You don’t get to talk,” I growled.
“Noted,” he said, grey eyes narrowing. But he did keep his mouth shut. I didn’t like it. I didn’t trust it.
Johanna sank back into her seat. “So you won’t keep your word then. I’m disappointed,” she said. “We will have to look elsewhere for compassion, then.”
I laughed, bitter and tired. How had we gotten to this point in, what, thirty minute’s time? “Oh, no you won’t. You’ve made it perfectly clear that Dauntless can’t say no to this. We need to show we’re cooperative. And look, we are,” I said. Bending low at the waist, my hands flared wide as I bowed to the Amity around the table.
I couldn’t keep the sing-song, mocking tone from seeping into my words. “I gave my word. Can’t go breaking that. Not when you all want nothing more than another excuse to write myself and Dauntless off as a lost cause. Not when we have this bastard to thank for having a reputation lower than dirt.
”I’ll take him off your hands. Bring him to Dauntless, to Candor; hell, if you really want I’ll take ‘im to Erudite, too, to round out the tour. Because I have to now, to show that my word meant something even if yours didn’t.”
There was a certain clarity that came with being backed against a wall. You could see who was coming after you and there was only one way out of it. I looked up and smiled blithely at Johanna. The rest of them, they were so much fodder. This had been her design, her chess board, from the start. I realized it too late. Amity would get their deniability - no direct involvement in the optics of harboring someone as deplorable as Eric. And I would shoulder the personal burden of convincing not only my own faction not to rip him apart but also keep him from the rogue agents in Candor.
“I underestimated you, Beatrice,” Johanna said. Her head was tipped, thoughtful. The statement was mutual. I moved forward to grab my pack.
“Yes, you did,” I replied. I turned on my heel and stepped over to Eric. I quelled the nausea that swelled in my stomach as I looked at the man who betrayed both of my factions, past and present.
“Let’s go,” I hissed. His eyes roved over me, sizing me up. The effect was lessened by the dried blood at the corner of his lip. He wasn’t in control here. Not anymore. I pointed to the door. “You first.” I wasn’t going to have him at my back, especially at night.
After a beat Eric moved. I followed a step behind, keeping my eyes open for the moment he stepped out of line. When we reached the doorway I paused and turned to the Amity behind me.
“And Johanna?” I called loudly. I waited for her to acknowledge me. “It’s Tris. Only my parents call me Beatrice. And they’re dead.”