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Living…for me it was the sum of the times that I always tried to be whole. But in the 28 years of my lifetime, I never felt like a whole, it was as if I was living in the shadows of another life.
This feeling followed me for all my life, I’ve gotten more aware of this excruciating feeling and the way it controls my life as the years passed by but when Joshua came into my life 5 years ago it became more bearable at the very least.
Joshua Sweet was the one on the medical team. I met him 5 years ago when I had the opportunity to search for the lost empire of Atlantis.
The times I was searching for the empire with my crewmates, which I had the chance to participate in with the support of one of the professors and the "The Shepherd's Journal" that changed my life and tells about the ancient city of Atlantis, was the beginning of these strange and unimaginable dreams.
It began with simple images I couldn’t reach, no matter how hard I tried, and within time these images turned out to be puzzles I had to solve. The state of mind I first didn’t care about turned out to be full of obsession as time passed by.
As I participated in an excavation believed to belong to Plato my thoughts about those dreams changed.
There were more than images now, my mind was telling me stories through dark silhouettes now. And among all those others one was standing the most.
A loyalty, a princess from far far away, most certainly connected to the Great Atlantis…
The princess who appeared in my dreams -her face hidden in the dark- was also mentioned in "The Shepherd's Journal".
The journal specifically mentioned the heart of the empire along with the princess quite a lot. But the information it gave was very uncertain, strangely as unsettling it was it held a certain excitement in my heart. As if the real treasure was buried in these words.
The first time my vision appeared in the great Atlantis was at night when Joshua and I became roommates.
“ The sea we were in contrast to the bright gentle sun was beating the ground savagely.
The sun dazzled my eyes as the hundreds of thousands of voices were screaming my name, and my name only.
While I couldn't tell the sounds I heard apart, my eyes started to see more clearly when the sun gathered and turned into a drop of water.
A pair of glowing aqua blue colored eyes shown in pure silence was the last thing I saw in the darkening image as the pain I felt in my chest lowered my gaze to my hands, with the bright lights circling those eyes.”
With this dream, which went beyond the images and felt the bitterness of an old memory, my curiosity about Atlantis increased many times over.
And so I began to search for those mesmerizing blue eyes.
…
While my dreams were getting clearer with every full moon, I was immersed in the diary "The Shepherd's Journal" and spent most of the day looking for clues and the meanings of those clues in the diary. With the answers I reached it also brought me to new questions.
These questions were like the keys to my dreams, as I chased after this obscurity my hopes were renewed when the university found a sponsor for an excavation work that was postponed for a long time because it could not find funding.
The study was to be conducted at a site in Palma on the Canary Islands. While this project had been dusting on the shelf for a long time, thanks to the support of millionaire Preston B. Whitmore, It had turned into an expedition where archeology enthusiasts fought each other to go.
Although I was one of the volunteers for this study, my chances of coming forward were considerably reduced since three great linguists applied as well.
I finished my chores in the morning and took the lecture program that my assistant at the university had delivered to my room, and we exchanged a dissatisfied glance. It was already clear that today was going to be a long and tiring day.
With all the work and pressure around my shoulder, I was still hooked up on foggy events that happened in my dream last night
…
“Milo, Milo, Milo...”
The sound of someone calling my name reached through my ears but I scrambled to and fro in an environment so dark that I couldn't even pierce my existence properly.
Squinting my eyes, I tried to get used to the darkness, but my efforts were in vain. There was no way for me to get used to such darkness even if I was a bat or mole.
As I was still in shock I looked around awkwardly as the repeating sound scratched his ears.
“Milo..!!Milo help!?”
It was very annoying not being able to recognize the voice even though it sounded very familiar, not being able to reach it even though it felt so close.
In a hurry and despair, not knowing where or in which direction I was going, I started running, I ran and I ran further. The sapphire blue light I was trying to reach was getting farther and farther away as I ran, and the moment I got lost in the darkness, I felt like I was drowning in the place I was in.
When I woke up I was covered in sweat and after that, I couldn't sleep for a long time.
In the morning, when I looked in the mirror, the sight I saw was no different than a fresh body bag decorated with purple eyes.
Although the intensity of today's program prevented me from thinking during the day, two things came to my mind every time I was free. One was that dream I had last night, and the other was whether I could take part in this project I was nominated for.
Even though I was full of these two contradictions, after finishing my classes I took a deep sigh of relief when I came to my room. My day was over, and it ended with me adding new questions and worries to my mind.
I sat at my desk, organized my notes, and put them in the folder to distract myself.
The movement that I started with clearing my messy desk ended when I realized how big the mess was, resulting in backing away and giving up. And within seconds my eyes widened with the familiar voice coming to my ears, I moved away from my desk and towards the door.
"I see, Steven. I'll be careful, don't worry."
I walked into the hallway in the direction the voice came from. Not knowing what I was looking for or why I was running in such heat and excitement. I went forward, succumbing to my instincts.
As I moved forward, I realized that a small body of someone had passed into the management corridor. Though I paused for a moment it didn't take long for me to continue walking, as my body moved wildly without my permission thousands of questions in my mind turned into dust and were blown into the air.
I involuntarily reach for the family heirloom blue crystal necklace and turn the corner with a sigh. Although it was not clear what I was expecting, it was certain that what I expected to see was not a young boy shorter than me, with white hair and sapphire blue eyes.
Although the young man's blue eyes opened wide in surprise when he saw me, it was his blue intertwined ring-shaped tattoo that caught my attention more.
Our silent gaze was broken by the sentence she uttered between the young man's giggles.
"Hello, it’s Dr. Thatch right?"
I looked at him for a second or two as if I were forgiven, even though it got me a while but when I understood his question, I answered it immediately.
"Yes hello. Pleased to meet you."
Hearing my answer, he slowly extended his hand toward me.
"My pleasure, I'm Beka Whitmore."
I looked at his face, then at the gentle hand he held out, then I shook his hand lightly.
"What are you doing here, Mr. Whitmore?"
I asked, trying to release my nervousness slightly, and he answered my question with a slight nod and pursed lips.
"My grandfather is the sponsor of the research. Since I will be traveling with the team, I came to get to know each member."
The expression on his face, the testimony of his moire blue eyes, filled me with a sense of senseless restlessness and peace.
Smiling lightly at my silence, Beka nodded and pointed to the person right behind us, and I turned my gaze toward where he was pointing. I pressed my lips together so as not to laugh at the sight I saw.
Our chubby dean with a sly looking grin on his sweaty face, was coming towards us in a move that was halfway between running and not being able to run. As Beka's response made sense of his arrival, an expression appeared on my face showing that I was even more relaxed.
"Don't worry, he’s coming to herald that you are the responsible person for the project"
…
While it took a week to set up the team, there was this contradiction which I couldn't think of a single sensible reason for, the weapons and mercenaries involved in the research. It felt utterly unnecessary for just research, and certainly terrifying enough to disturb my concentration.
There was one specific guy among all that even his gaze alone was enough to make my blood freeze. Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke.
Worse was it that this man began to be the source of nonsensical disturbing images inside my head. So much so that, that week I couldn't sleep a second due to nightmares full of bloody wars.
Although these nightmares created a flood of fear in me, my passion for Atlantis was greater and stronger than any of my fears.
And while I was drowning in a sea of thoughts, at last the research vessel, equipped with modern equipment, took anchor from the port with my dear friend Joshua and young Beka and charted a course towards the Mykonos islands, which were on a different route from Samas.
We were getting closer to the island as my nightmares and reality mingled.
After a three-day sea voyage, our ship anchored in the Paradeisos bay on the island of Mykonos, and camps began to be set up. Even though I was exhausted from dealing with transported equipment and camps for a whole day, I felt more at home than at home here.
While everyone was resting by the fire or in their tents with the tiredness of the day, I followed a small path I found and climbed a hill carrying a great plane tree, which saw the camp from above.
I closed my eyes as a light breeze hit my body while leaning one hand on the tree and watching the view. On a hill like this, where there are many great trees, an image of me watching the sea with peace filling my heart came to my mind.
The woman smiled at me with her prominent full lips. Her long, ice crystals like white hair were blowing in the wind to her swarthy skin that highlights that charming hair, and she was trying to put her hair blowing in the wind behind her ear with her hand as she was trying to continue talking to me.
"Milo, what kind of guard are you? You'd be dead first in a possible danger with this absentmindedness" she said.
The playful smile that appeared on the corner of her lip made my heart beat faster as I started to talk.
"Rest assured, your majesty, I won't hesitate for a second to face death if it is necessary to die to protect you," I said, and she took two more steps closer to me and gently touched one of her long bony hands to my cheek.
“Don’t you dare to die before me Milo, or else I’ll never ever forgive you.”
The image and that sweet voice disappeared with the strong wind blowing in the darkness, and I opened my eyes, feeling the strong yet gentle pressure of a hand. That's when I noticed the tear slowly running down my eyes. When I turned to the owner of the hand on my shoulder, my friend Joshua's worried gaze welcomed me.
“Are you okay Milo?” he asked.
“Don’t worry Joshua, I am fine.” I tried to reassure his heart, my dear friend's worried gaze did not go down despite what I said, but I could only give him a wry smile.
“Come on…” he said and I found myself walking back to the camp quietly.
…
War, guns, blood, screaming, fear, and agony. Although I've always been familiar with these concepts, their whole existence was just virtual knowledge for me until a few years ago. With this journey and the nightmares that fills my nights, I have experienced all the concepts that represent war.
However, aside from these concepts, the unknown inside my nightmares scared me more. I desired and was anxious to protect someone I didn't even know, in every nightmare I had, which caused me to wake up in blood and sweat each time.
When our inconclusive research work added to all these difficult nights, and as I was feeling crushed in my body which was close to collapsing any minute, I felt close to quitting life itself.
3 whole day and night went like this but with historical Atlantis findings we found it near the bay that connects the hill overlooking the coast to the sea. I finally came to my senses a little bit.
I felt revitalized as I searched stone pottery and sculptures that had writings about daily life in Atlantis.
Atlantis was what I meant to focus on more than anything.
The inscriptions we found clearly stated that Atlantis was a large island, 16-18 feet high stone statues around the island represented the kings and carried the souls of those kings. Although it was a fanaticism that I couldn't attribute to a community with such a rich culture, it put a slight smile on my face.
While thinking, my eyes caught in the blue shape that looked like between a prism and a drop on the pot in my hand.
At that moment, the cheerful smiles that came with the smell of amber filled my ears. A warm breeze caressed my skin and my smile widened as the familiar blue eyes appeared before my eyes.
My gaze remained fixed on her smile as her face became clear with her bright white hair falling in front of her eyes.
"Milo, you don't seem to like these people..."
She was talking about men claiming to be Spaniards who came to trade last week. Trading was one of the most significant means connecting us to the outside world. While previous kings would not allow any foreigner to step foot in Atlantis, Kida convinced her father and got permission for the Spaniards to come.
But her eyes, shining with curiosity, prevented her from seeing the truth. Armed soldiers coming here, that's what bothered me the most.
"I'm against bringing weapons even near Atlantis, I don't like it."
I told her, and my heart tightened as Kida's soft, long fingers gripped my cheeks. His fresh breath caressed my face as every place he touched burned my skin.
“You are worrying for nothing, we are at Atlantis. Nothing will happen to us."
And once again, I came back to reality, welcomed by my friend Joshua’s worried gaze.
I smiled at his confused looks.
“Don’t worry my friend, I am fine. I just zoned out.”
I said while he took a big sigh. I understood the reason behind his reaction very well, as he was the first to witness my increasing nightmares and daydreams for the past year. But for the first time in five years, neither my nightmares nor my daydreams scared me. On the contrary, thanks to them, for the first time ever I felt this close to the truth. In the meantime, Joshua's cheerful voice filled the atmosphere as I grabbed my neck, which was aching with pain from sitting in the same hunched position for a long time.
“Would you like me to crack your neck?”
Joshua was already clutching my neck with his huge hands while the expression on my face turned into a big smile as my eyes widened. After holding my slightly stretched neck like that for a while, I sighed with relief after he cracked my neck left and right. In a proud and contented tone
“A treatment just for you, be grateful!”
He said as smile chuckles escaped through my lips, and like that we went to camo with historical monuments on our hand.
When we got to the camp, we both were stunned by the activity we saw. Beka blocked our way as we approached the team to understand what was happening.
My brows furrowed at the fussy and worried expression on his face.
"Atlantis..! Atlantis could be reached by an underground cave! They will go to the cave with the first light of tomorrow morning"
As my eyes widened with Beka's words, storms began to break out inside me. I was distracted by Kamutan Rourke's harsh voice as I ran to the team.
"Gentlemen and ladies, we have finally reached our destination. With the information we have accessed, our divers have discovered an underground cave route to Atlantis. We set up a team and will set off at the first light of the morning."
He turned to me as soon as he finished his sentence and said “Mister, you are coming with us as well” and I nodded in excitement.
While the preparations were going on, I retired to my room and my eyes, which could not stand the exhaustion, closed and took me to a deep sleep.
…
The sky covered with dark clouds, people running around, gunshots, and screams of pain. I knew it would end like this. Their intentions were evident from the way they looked at the foci on the altars.
But before anything I had to find Kida. I searched for her while my eyes scanned the area. And in seconds I found myself, shaken by the sight of the princess that the general's men dragged away. I couldn't protect her. However before I could even think about anything else, with guards I started to follow those men.
When they entered the sacred cave, we hid behind the rock. And when the spirits in the middle of the cave came to the water, the general threw Kida into the lake.
With the light reaching the water at the top of the cave, Kida froze at the water's edge. But that didn't last long as the blue light stopped in the middle of the water Kida started to move towards the light above the water.
At my signal, the men with me shot the soldiers with arrows while I ran toward the distracted general with the sword in my hand. When I came face to face with the general, he had already loaded his gun and pointed it at me. I felt a great pain in my chest with the bullet that exploded as I quickly stabbed my sword in his chest.
The general fell to the ground like a sack of meat as the sword slipped from my hand, and I fell to my knees.
The last thing I saw before waking up was the blue circles around the Kida rising into the sky.
When I woke up in sweats, I was face to face with Joshua again.
“You can stay ıf you want”
He said, and I decline by turning my head to left and light. Then I started the preparations.
They slowly arrive at the cave, and Rouge signs others to stop
"Me and the kid will go alone. Rest can come later after we examine through."
He put his hand on my shoulder, not giving time for anyone to question his decision he dragged me inside.
We went inside and immediately I felt like I was getting crushed by this man, the tension was too high for me to handle. While walking next to Rourke everything felt so off, I truly wanted to ignore the hand that was pushing me into the cave, I wanted to ignore the harsh and piercing gazes of the Commander but it was almost impossible to do so.
Everything about this man was asserting such dominance, that made me feel so weak. As we walked through I made a sick noise underneath my throat. My eyes were dull. And my hands keep going to my mouth once in five minutes
"We trust you, boy..."
A greedy smirk appeared on his big face as he pushed me closer to the lake. A sharp, heavy aura filled the cool air, and I choked and shut his eyes.
I somewhat knew what must’ve been done, so I started to talk as I got closer to the silhouette of Kida.
“Kida…I missed you d-dear…”
I couldn’t help but stutter as I felt my face warming up with frustration and nervousness, exhaling a shaky breath before getting enough courage to walk into the lake.
Commander watched Milo silently, examining every move of his while holding his gun ready.
“I do too, my knight.”
Kida’s calm, mellow voice heats my heart, her soft, long hands touching my face once again.
“I missed you so so much.”
Her voice got heavy, all the yearning and the agony were seen through her face.
“A woman this beautiful shouldn’t make such a face.” I thought as I watched this mesmerizing creature look at him with such loving eyes.
“May I?”
I asked as I leaned towards her.
“Yes…”
She nodded and our lips met, her lips were warm and soft, almost silken, and pillowy against mine. Thrill and joyment blossomed in my chest for the first time in years, sparks igniting as Kida leaned in close, our lips brushing together, tentatively hugging me.
But no good lasts forever as the sound of a gun interrupts this magical moment of theirs, leaving Kida horrified as I silently wait to be shattered into shards of crystal like the legends say.
But to my surprise I wake up completely unharmed on Kida’s lab, well not so unharmed as I was wounded and bandaged.
I open my eyes, and exhaustion hits me hard. My eyelids feel heavy as I try to look around, my thoughts are loud but one small touch to my right cheek shuts them all.
“Milo…you are alive!”
The relief on her cute melted my heart and shock hit me once our lips touched once again, this time actually touching her.
Once we part our lips my eyes search for the man who shot me, and Kida notices it right away.
“The devil in human disguise escaped…don’t bother for him now. Rest my knight. You deserve it.”
Kida caressed my hair and I fall asleep, with the embrace of my love once in my life I sleep sound.