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Summary
"And thus begins my four week stay in the ass-end middle of nowhere," said Felix aloud, cracking his back and yawning a little. "Should be relaxing."
And it was.
There was nothing to do in the ass-end middle of nowhere but relax, and Felix threw himself into it with the grim thoroughness of an accountant scouring the tax code for loopholes.
He relaxed in bed. He relaxed inside and on the porch; he relaxed while walking through the waist-high crops surrounding the house for miles and he relaxed while removing the three ticks that had attached themselves to him during his relaxing walk. He relaxed as he mourned the lack of wifi and TV, and he relaxed as he banged his head against the wall and cried out to God for cellphone bars. He even relaxed while he relaxed.It took exactly two days for him to do something stupid.
or: Don't mess around with your grandfather's sacred artifacts, or you just might end up getting demon dick in your ass.