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As he sits there, hands clasped, it takes everything he can muster not to cry right then and there. He couldn’t even look when they had sent themselves into the sky to face the hoard of colossal titans. The kids running after them, screaming for their commander to come back, yet they all knew… They all knew she wasn’t coming back. Now, there they all were on the plane to stop The Rumbling. Looks of disbelief, shaking hands, tears pouring down faces. And, yet, Levi sat, still as could be. Hardly blinking, just staring at his hands. He hardly reacted when one of the kids tried getting his attention, everything and everyone fading into muffled noises. Hange was dancing across his thoughts, across his memories, like raining dancing on the surface of a river. Splashes of their smile, their laugh, their dumb antics that caused him to roll his eyes, all in his mind’s eye.
Hange laughed as they turned to him, putting a sample of who even knew what down on their table. “Come on, shorty. It’s not like you’ve ever taken a real break yourself. Why the sudden concern?” Their voice teasing as they stretched their arms upward, wincing at the movement. “Damn, that still hurts. Nothing like a shoulder injury to throw a wrench into the fun.”
Levi scoffed at their definition of ‘fun’, the teacup in his hand nearly empty. “Your meaning of fun is strange as always, four-eyes. You haven’t taken a break in days. Whatever disgusting thing you’re working with can wait a day or two, can it not?”
“I’m on the path to a possible breakthrough. If I can just figure out what this stuff is made of, maybe, we could use it somehow.”
“You should rest , Hange.”
“I’ll rest when I’m dead!” Hange declared with a dramatic mock salute as they nearly fell off their chair. Levi could only frown at their response, brow furrowing while they laughed. As their laughter died down, their expression fell upon seeing his face and the corners of their lips curled downward. “Oh, Levi Ackerman. Ever the worrisome little man. You know I didn’t mean it like that. They’re still keeping me off the field for another week, and I’m bored out of my mind. There’s nothing else for me to do except be stuck in here all day. I don’t plan on dying on you any time soon,” they shot a cocky wink to the captain before them.
“I know what you meant,” he muttered. He crossed his arms, teacup dangling off to the side. “Still… How long has it been since you’ve actually slept? Eaten? Bathed?”
“Moblit brings me food. He’s as much a worry wart as anyone,” they paused in a thoughtful manner. “I do believe it’s been about 27 hours since I’ve slept. Don’t give me that look! There’s so much good stuff I’ve been up to. Plus, we’re so close to getting into Shiganshina!”
Levi watched as they snatched up some loose papers and waved them around as to prove a point. They gestured him over with excitement, and he complied with a shake of his head. He set his teacup in a relatively clean spot as they began their excited rambling about new designs for a new weapon and rough armor ideas. Hange’s face lit up when she talked about her ideas, and, while Levi was genuinely listening, he couldn’t help where his eyes wandered. Their brown eyes sparkling with every word, big motions with their arms when they explained how the weapon was to work, smile plastered across their face when they noticed him listening. Little did they know, he held onto every word they said. He always did.
Levi was then standing in the forest, watching Hange bustle around to get their departure on the way with the cart they’d made. Yet, something was… off. Why was he standing? He’d been too weak at this point to do anything let alone stand so casually. As if hearing his thoughts, Hange’s attention snapped over to him and they grinned. “There ya are, short stuff! You’ve finally come to!” They stared as if waiting for a response.
“Hange-” he began.
“Don’t be like that. We gotta get moving. Find the others, right?” Hange interrupted. Oh. They weren’t seeing, let alone talking to, him. The way he was seeing this memory was off putting. They had gathered everything that remained before finally moving with the cart after moving someone unseen onto it.
Levi trailed after them, biting his bottom lip. The trees went by slowly as they walked. No sound but from the cart and their footsteps. He walked alongside Hange and watched the sweat run down their face. What he’d give to be able to wipe it away one last time. Before he could even stop himself, words spilled from his mouth. “You were right, Hange. We should have just stayed in these woods. We could have avoided all this. I don’t care how selfish it makes us sound. I’d rather be safe with you then have you gone. I couldn’t… I couldn’t even watch you, you know. Now we’re on our way to stop this damn brat from killing the world off. It’s not the same without you. The kids are lost. I’m lost. I need you, Hange. We could have just left. I… I should have just run away with you.”
In that moment, Hange looked over at the poor captain who was on the verge of tears. They offered him a sad smile as if they’d heard every word he’d said. But before he could say anything, the image faded into nothing and the rumbling of the plane pulled him back into reality. The kids still with those distraught looks on their faces, the tears still coming. Levi, himself, shed a single tear and made no move to wipe it away as he continued holding his hand. The last contact he’d made with them. He’d made no move to stop them, no glance toward them as they were off fighting the titans as their last sacrifice. In the end, he’d lost his rock. The one person keeping him grounded in a time where he needed some stability. They’d left him, too. The only things he had was the last feeling of their heartbeat under his fist and the amusement in their voice after his last words to them. Yet, he felt himself speak one last time to them, knowing they couldn’t hear him. Knowing they wouldn’t be coming back after this one. In a soft, cracked voice, he spoke.
“Keep watching us.”