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Melanie woke up, her head still pounding with pain and her eyes— or lack of eyes —were still aching. Which was of course to be expected. She knew what she was in for when she left the archives. This is what she was going to have to deal with if she wanted to be free of the fears. It was a big cost, sure, but she had Georgie by her side to support her through it. She reached her hand for where she expected Georgie to be, but she didn’t find her.
“Georgie?” Panic creeped into her voice faster than she knew it should.
“‘M right here— you ‘kay?” Georgie placed a warm hand on Melanie’s arm and she exhaled. Her voice was raspy, she probably just woke up.
“Yeah— yeah, I just didn’t know where you were. S- sorry,” she moved to hold Georgie’s hand tightly.
“All good, lovely. Come here,” Georgie reached over and held Melanie in her arms, “it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” She spoke into Melanie’s hair, combing her fingers through it.
Melanie suddenly got self conscious. She hadn’t brushed her hair in days, let alone washed it. It made her want to pull away and sulk in not yet being able to take care of herself. She knew it’d get better overtime, of course, but it didn’t take away the jarring experience of not being able to do pretty much anything.
“Sorry about my hair,” Melanie mumbled, her face pressed up against Georgie’s neck and collarbones. She could vaguely smell the scent of the perfume Georgie wore everyday, it was a sweet smell, like strawberries with sugar.
“Here, I’ll go get a brush. It slipped my mind that I should help with that— sorry love,” Georgie pulled away, cupping Melanie’s face with her hand and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She started to get up but Melanie stopped her, grabbing her arm.
“I don’t want to let go of you,” Melanie choked out the words. It made her feel weak. But she knew that that was the lingering slaughter that still creeped into the edges of her minds at times. It was okay to feel weak. It was okay to not be sharp and mean and cruel. She needed to be weak to hold onto her humanity. The slaughter had nearly got her, and all she wanted was to never have had that happened. It came in waves when it tried to get its grasp on her again. She’d go through bouts of full pure anger, then break down crying until Georgie soothed her enough to help her go to sleep.
She then felt Georgie’s hands move to her waist, lifting her across the bed.
“I’ll help you up, it’ll be good for you,” she kept one hand on her waist, and Melanie moved to have an arm around Georgie’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” Melanie said. She could’ve cried. How was she with someone so sweet? She couldn’t understand.
Melanie knew that the bathroom was only a few steps away. She’d been over to Georgie’s plenty. But she couldn’t quite place where she was in relation to the doorway.
“I’m going to start walking,” Georgie’s voice was almost closer now, she had probably turned her head to look at Melanie.
Walking felt scary. Even with her full trust in Georgie, she couldn’t help but feel like she was just in a void, about to be lost into it forever if she wasn’t careful. Georgie held her tight to her side and stopped after a few seconds.
“The doorway is right here,” she moved to be in front of Melanie, putting her hands on Melanie’s arms and leading her through the doorway. “Okay, stand there and I’ll start brushing your hair.”
“Thank you,” Melanie smiled.
Georgie still held one of Melanie’s hands, with the other she must have grabbed the brush. There was a slight tug when she started brushing, but Melanie got used to it quickly. The two stood in silence. She could hear Georgie’s breathing, soft and steady. Then Georgie started humming something— it wasn’t familiar to Melanie but it made her feel safe. It didn’t matter then that she had no awareness of what was around her. All that mattered was Georgie.
Melanie focused her mind on the soft sound of Georgie humming. On the sweet scent of her perfume. Just on her. Remembering how her curls fell in a way that beautifully framed her face.
She wondered if Georgie had her hair up in a bun today, or if it was down. Melanie always loved when she put her hair down, the way it would fall in her face and Melanie would get to brush it away. And how Georgie would mindlessly play with it while talking to Melanie. Of course, there were pros to when she had her hair up, as well. She’d usually have a headband on, floral print of course. It would have been put up loosely, most likely because Georgie was just trying to get it out of her face so she could see what she was writing for WTG.
Already she missed knowing simple things like that. She’d have to find other ways, other things Georgie did that she still could know without seeing them. Thinking about it all passed the time quicker. She heard the clatter of the brush being set down. Georgie then wrapped her arms around Melanie, pressing her kiss to her face. She leaned back into the touch, now feeling Georgie’s voice as she still hummed.
“Kiss?” Melanie turned her head back to Georgie, who moved her hand to be on Melanie’s face. She guided her into the kiss and they stayed like that for a moment.
Though to Melanie it felt like forever. Georgie’s warm hand against her cold face, her lips on hers, just standing there and taking in the moment. Her world was perfect in that gap of time. It didn’t matter that she was in darkness, because Georgie was there. She was the sun that brought light and warmth to the cold shadow that Melanie felt her mind was.
She didn’t have to think about anything, she didn’t have to feel anything else but the warmth of kissing her amazing girlfriend. Her girlfriend who was taking care of her. Her girlfriend that helped her through her anger. Helped her through her pain. Stayed with her despite her flaws. She was all Melanie wanted and needed. She was perfect, she was everything. With her warm hands, her soft voice, her gentle touch, her loose curls, her freckled face that Melanie held onto the memory of, and her kind heart.
They both pulled out of the kiss and Melanie smiled, “I love you.”
“I love you too, lovely.”