Work Text:
“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” Spencer whispered as he sat up, Jack having creeped into his bedroom. Jack was spending the night with him and Galaxy while Aaron and Rossi had their one-on-one drinking, dinner and sleepover. (Spencer insisted he go, Aaron hadn’t done a full night since before they started their relationship)
Jack was walking with his hand on Galaxy’s harness, letting her lead him through the dark before he silently climbed up on Spencer’s bed, the dog following quickly and resting at their feet. Spencer accepted Jack into his arms for a cuddle.
“Do you like the dark?” Jack whispered.
“No,” Spencer whispered back. “That’s where the monsters hide.”
“Monsters like… like ghosts? Or like… like the ones you and daddy fight?” Jack asked.
“Both,” Spencer said, running his hand through Jack’s hair. “But lucky for you, you’ve got your dad, me, and Gal over here to protect you. From both the ghostie monsters and the ones me and your dad fight.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jack whispered.
“We won’t. We can’t if we’re protecting you,” Spencer whispered, kissing the top of Jack’s head. “Sleep, Jack. We’ll protect you.”
Jack curled up, keeping an arm tight around Spencer as if he were afraid Spencer would leave him in the night. Spencer just continued to rub his back until the boy’s hold loosened and his breathing evened out.
-7-
Spencer’s phone rang. He was reading a map to try and figure out the location of the UnSub, with barely any luck, so he jumped at the violent noise grating against his ears. Aaron, Rossi and JJ were all in the room with him, so he was slightly confused as to who would be calling him first.
Checking the ID he almost got worried. “Jess? Is everything alright?” He asked, catching Aaron’s attention more sharply. Spencer didn’t say anything to ease his mind as he listened. “Okay, yeah, put him on the phone.”
“What’s going on?” Aaron asked, sitting up more.
He moved the phone away from his face, “Jack’s having a hard time sleeping,” Spencer mumbled before putting it back. “Hi, bubs. Are you okay?”
“I miss you,” Jack’s voice was small and more childish than normal.
“I miss you too, Buddy. But I’m working, I can’t talk for long,” Spencer said, looking back at the map.
“My night light broke, it’s really dark in here. I’m really scared,” Jack sounded like he was on the verge of tears.
“Did you ask auntie if you could stay with her?” Spencer asked, crossing his free arm over his waist and looking at Aaron, who was just staring at him in confusion.
“But if I’m with her, the monsters can get us both!”
“Baby, no, me and your dad are fighting the monsters right now, remember? With all of your other favorite people. Where’s Gal, honey?” Spencer asked.
“She’s on my bed.”
“Okay, remember me and you Dad trained her so well that she’ll protect you from everything, from ghostie monsters to the ones me and your dad fight. Auntie’s right there too,” Spencer said, clearly unsure of anything he was saying helped calm the little boy down.
“ Okay… promise?”
“I promise, honey,” Spencer said. “Why don’t you ask Auntie if you and Gal can stay in her room, like you did with me too nights ago. Okay?”
“ Yea.”
“Okay, here say goodnight to your dad,” he said, handing the phone over to Aaron.
“Hey buddy,” Aaron said softly into the phone as JJ stood to speak with Spencer. “Mhm… okay, yeah. Ask Auntie if you can stay with her. Okay… we love you, goodnight Jack.”
Aaron had hung up by the time the two finished whispering.
“Everything alright?” Rossi asked. Aaron just looked to Spencer for more context. Spencer’s phone dinged as soon as he got it back in his hand.
“Jessica said he was sobbing uncontrollably,” Spencer said, ignoring the noise as it wasn’t a text. “Apparently only wanted me. She suggested calling you first but it only made him cry harder,” Spencer explained, and Aaron’s eyebrows shot up. “His nightlight broke and he’s developed a severe phobia of the dark. He creeped into my room the other night with Gal and crawled right up next to me talking about monsters and stuff.”
“Jeez, poor kid,” Rossi winced.
“Well, he’s still young. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it,” JJ said, but she nodded in agreement with Rossi.
“Maybe,” Spencer mumbled, before looking back at the board. Aaron stood, whispering into his ear, “you did good.”
-7-
Spencer was reading on the balcony again, curled up underneath a thin blanket, the setting sun providing him just enough light while Aaron took a shower and Jack watched cartoons and played with Gal. He was old enough now to sit by himself while Spencer kept the door open to listen for anything breaking or Jack getting hurt.
“Spencie,” Jack said suddenly, and Spencer looked over to see the curious boy. “It’s going to be night soon, why’re you still reading outside?”
“Because I like the sunset,” Spencer explained. “Look at all those pretty colors, those only happen at nightfall.”
“But they mean darkness is coming,” Jack said, a soft whine coming back to his voice when thinking about his fear.
“Yes, but you can’t have light without the dark, Jack. Besides, the darkness is a necessity, it helps us rest, and it gives the nocturnal animals a chance to come out and eat and play. Just like we do during the day.”
“But it’s scary,” Jack pouted. “The monsters-“
“Bub,” Spencer said softly. “It’s okay to be afraid, like I said, I also get scared. But, remember bad and good coexist. The monsters are there, yes, but at night there are birds, like owls and bats and sugar gliders, all coming out to eat. And besides,” He hummed, pulling Jack into his lap after setting the book aside. “Look at all those colors, and see—“ he pointed to the gap in the clouds. “When the sun’s resting, we can see the twinkling stars, the galaxy.”
Jack smiled, looking up at all the pretty colors and blinking lights that slowly shone brighter as the sun sank further.
“It’s okay to be afraid,” Spencer whispered, “But don’t forget to see the beauty through your fears, or you’ll only ever see darkness and there will never be light. That's what my Mom always told me growing up. Here, let’s go inside now before it gets too dark and chilly.”
-7-
“Daddy, what’re you scared of?” Jack asked, the three of them (plus Gal at their feet), sitting at Aaron’s table as Spencer put their game of uno away. (Jack won three times, Spencer 6, Aaron once.)
“Nothing,” Aaron lied, and Spencer snorted in disbelief. “What? I’m not afraid of anything!”
“Liar, everyone has a fear,” Spencer disagree. “Spiders, flying, the darkness, oddly enough monkey… everyone’s got one. Even Batman.”
“Batman doesn’t have a fear,” Aaron scoffed.
“Yes he does,” Spencer said, and Jack giggled, watching the two go back and forth. “It’s bats. It’s like… the entire reason he became Batman! Since he was a child! Bruce's fear of bats stemmed from falling in a cave where he encountered bats! And of course the usual ‘failing the city he’s protecting’ and ‘becoming the very thing he swore to destroy’, but like… bats too!”
Jack busted out laughing at Spencer enthusiasm, and Spencer smiled lovingly at him. “Everyone knows that. Now what’s your fear?”
They had a momentary staring contest, and Aaron sighed. “I don’t have one,” he settled on and Spencer groaned in annoyance.
Later on, when Jack was in bed with his new nightlight and Galaxy on the edge of his bed, Spencer and Aaron sat together on Aaron’s bed. “Losing you and Jack,” Aaron said after a long period of silence with Aaron working and Spencer reading.
“Hm?” Spencer asked, looking up.
“My greatest fear. Losing family. I could say that in front of Jack,” Aaron mumbled.
“You want to be his superhero,” Spencer mumbled, and Aaron hummed.
“I am his superhero,” He mumbled, and Spencer set his book down. “And I’ve already failed more than one person in my family.”
“You’ve got to stop thinking like that,” Spencer whispered. “This self destructive nature will kill you. But, regardless, it’s okay to show Jack weakness. It just opens him up to you even more. It gives you a chance to bond more if he knows his dad doesn’t have some sort of complex that tells him he can’t be afraid of anything.”
“Is that why you’re so open with your fear of darkness?” Aaron asked.
“It’s a common fear, and it’s one he doesn’t have to feel alone in. Knowing there’s an adult he can go to will build relationships and trust,” Spencer whispered. “It gives him a chance to have a healthy development, building his self-confidence knowing there isn’t someone he has to live up to or live in their shadows, and the capacity to thrive with the way he forms relationships as he goes to school and work and adult life. It all gets built now.”
Aaron sighed, nodding slowly in understanding.
“Don’t just show him you’re scared of losing him, tell him. Because he’s scared of losing you too. It’s another reason he hates the dark so much.”
-7-
“Why is Christmas music also so grating against the ears?” Spencer groaned as he walked into Aaron’s home. It was late, they’d just landed from a case.
“Because it’s the jolliest time of the year,” Aaron said, sarcastic, and Spencer groaned as he took his shoes off.
The house still wasn’t fully decorated. There were a few nicknacks around with snowmen and other things reminding them of the winter, and the snow outside wasn’t helpful. It hadn’t snowed or at least stuck to the grown snow, yet despite it being early December, but now it was starting to.
Aaron cupped Spencer’s cheeks, brushing the lingering snowflakes and dots of water away. Spencer’s cheeks were dusty pink from the cold and Aaron’s hands were oddly warm, so Spencer immediately relaxed into them. The two leaned in and shared butterfly kisses before they heard more than one set of footsteps running down the hallways and stairs, and they separated.
“Daddy! Spencie!” Jack called as he ran into the entry room of the home.
“Hey, Jack, aren’t you meant to be sleeping?” Aaron asked as he picked up his son, Spencer leading Galaxy to the back door to let her outside.
“Mmm,” Jack simply hummed his acknowledgement without a proper answer, resting his head on his Dad’s shoulder.
Jessica came down the stairs shortly after, smiling as she looked at Aaron and the boy. “We were sitting in his room and I was reading to him, he insisted on staying awake until you both got home.”
“Aweh, alright bud, let’s get you to bed,” Aaron hummed, taking Jack back upstairs as Spencer stepped over to Jess to talk with her for a couple minutes before she left to go back to her own home.
When Spencer joined them upstairs, Jack was boarderlining refusing to go to bed, insisting on talking about different things and way to hyper for almost 11 o’clock at night.
“Jack,” Spencer hummed, walking to the other side of the boy's bed and kissing his head. “It’s time for bed, listen to your father.”
“But I wanna tell him about the new dinosaur facts I learned today! And why volcanoes explode! And we read a book today about the solar system!”
“We can talk about that in the morning, can’t we? After your brain is rested and you can fully remember everything you’ve learned,” Aaron insisted, clearly tired himself but trying to keep it up for Jack.
“How about you tell him one more Dino fact? And then tomorrow At breakfast you can do what I like to do, and infodump at him while he eats his eggs?” Spencer whispered, and Jack giggled as he nodded, clearly trying to think of a good one as Spencer tapped on his new nightlight so Aaron could flick off his lamp.
“Apparently tyrannosaurus rex was completely unable to roar like in movies. Apparently they would make really deep growling noises like an alligator!” Jack whispered as Aaron pulled the blanket over him.
Spencer chuckled, “Mhm, and we can thank the scientists that had studied the nasal and throat structure of the tyrannosaurus rex. Now, we can tell Dad the rest of our cool facts tomorrow, alright?”
“Okay,” Jack said, though he pouted a bit at the idea of going to bed. “Can I have Galaxy back?” He whispered.
“Of course, let me get her from outside,” Spencer smiled, leaving the two to share more time together as he went back downstairs to let Galaxy in.
She got a drink before jumping on Spencer for kisses, and the genius laughed softly, putting her legs back on the floor and letting her run up the stairs to Jacks room.
Spencer stood in the doorway as Aaron stood so she could have her spot back, and Jack wrapped his arms around the dog. “Daddy, do you really not have a fear? Because-because Galaxy can protect you, Spencie says she’s really goodly trained.” Jack whispered, and Aaron hummed softly.
Aaron sighed, “I have one, bud. And Spencie is right, she’s doing a good job of making sure that fear never comes too, because she’s protecting you. Get some sleep,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing his head and petting the dogs gently before meeting Spencer in the doorway, witnessing Jack bury his head into her scruff before Spencer shut the door.
“Is that better?” Aaron asked gently, since they’re still standing in front of Jack’s door.
“Much,” Spencer smiled, leaning up to kiss Aaron one last time.
-7-
Sharing a bed wasn’t really something either one of them felt uncomfortable with. Early on Spencer explained how he preferred sleeping with someone next to him rather than alone, but since he hadn’t been in a solid relationship since Ethan, he struggled sleeping alone. Aaron confided he slept better with someone else as well, and it was a struggle since Haley left. So, sleeping together (literally) wasn’t a foreign.
However, Spencer rolling around while whining certainly was, and Aaron was a light sleeper. Movement woke him up quickly, and he looked behind him to see Spencer’s face twisted unhappily, hair all over the place (but that was typically normal), and his arm twisted oddly against the bee, blanket half off-half on.
“Spence,” Aaron whispered, reaching over to squeeze his arm.
Spencer gasped and jolted, but didn’t wake up. Then Aaron realized how little Spencer was actually breathing.
“Spencer!” Aaron said a bit more urgently. “Hey-hey,” he calmed down as Spencer’s eyes shot open and he struggled to sit up. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”
Spencer exhaled slowly as he processed where he was, freeing his arm from the blanket and running it through his hair as Aaron squeezed and rubbed his shoulder. For a couple of minutes, neither said anything. Spencer was still processing and Aaron didn’t want to push.
“Sorry,” Spencer whispered finally, dragging a hand down the side of his face.
“Don’t apologize, it was just a nightmare,” Aaron said softly. “We all get them. That-that was the first time it was that violent next to me, though. Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Spencer breathed. “Yeah, I am now.”
“Was it… was it Hankel?” Aaron asked.
“What? Oh- no, well,” Spencer swallowed thickly. “Not, not fully. Even with my memory nightmares can be scratchy, um-“ Spencer swallowed.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Aaron whispered, but Spencer simply squeezed his hand.
“It’s fine,” He insisted. “It started off in that one vision, the one with Riley, and it, I think, it shifted kinda shifted into a memory of… me, my mother and father. There was an argument of some kind, I was locked away in my room reading, I didn’t care. Dad came into my room, but… it wasn’t my dad, and I think it was… Hankel…” Spencer stopped as he though, and Aaron stayed quiet. “It was like it wouldn’t- it wouldn’t show me his face. But, I wasn’t a child anymore, and my arm started to hurt, like…” Spencer paused again, “it just kept shifting… then none of it was real.”
“What’d you mean?” Aaron asked finally.
“Foyet came back,” Spencer whispered, so soft Aaron barely heard, and due to such a tone he didn’t even flinch at the name. “It was him, and then it was my father next to him, then it was Hankel next to him, and they kept duplicating. You were in front of Foyet, holding her… my mother was in front of my father, I think she was holding me? I was in front of Hankel… holding a vial. And it kept circling me like— like me right here. Voices, so many voices, and it was dark, I don’t-“
“Breathe, Spencer, breathe,” Aaron whispered as Spencer’s breath kept getting caught in his throat. Spencer started to tremble, almost completely uncontrollably, and while he wasn’t crying, his eyes were glossy and his pupils were practically blown. “Love, you’re safe,” Aaron whispered, flipping Spencer’s hand over, unaware of his own actions, to draw on his palm to help calm him physically.
Spencer’s gaze slowly moved from staring straight ahead, to down at his palm. His head moved with his eyes, and a single tear streaked down with it. Aaron’s gaze followed, and Spencer took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer whispered again.
“Don’t be,” Aaron whispered. “You’re just scared, Spencer. It’s okay.”
“But I haven’t- I wasn’t even on the receiving end of Foyet. Why’s he there? God- I wanted nothing more than to just… wipe him from the face of the earth when we were still fighting him,” Spencer mumbled.
“That might be why. You hold hatred against him,” Aaron whispered.
“Everyone on this team does, after what he did to you,” Spencer whispered.
“It was traumatic, he was traumatic,” Aaron whispered.
“ You were his target,” Spencer whispered, “and you’re cursed to remember that.”
“So are you,” Aaron whispered, “you’re cursed to remember every UnSub we fight. Foyet, Hankel…”
“My father,” Spencer whispered.
“I still don’t know why we couldn’t find anything against him. Something was definitely off about that man,” Aaron whispered.
“You never will. Like me, he’s too smart for his own good,” Spencer whispered, wiping away another stray tear. “And my words are enough anymore. Past the statute of limitations now.”
“Is it? Doesn’t Nevada have a long period when it comes to sexual assault charges?” Aaron asked.
“Yeah, 20 years,” Spencer whispered. “But I’m 32 now, Dad left when I was 10, clearly it’s too late. It was too late when I faced him the first time.”
Spencer could feel Aaron tense, and Spencer just leaned against him. “If it makes you feel better, I heard he’s got a brain tumor.”
Aaron couldn’t help the small chuckle that came from him. Spencer smiled a bit, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. “Should go back to sleep, we promise Jack we’d go tree shopping tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Aaron groaned, pulling Spencer down over top of him, getting a small yelp from the younger man. “I guess,” he mumbled, and Spencer chuckled as he adjusted against Aaron, resting his face in the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. “But I need you to stay right here then.”
“You’ve got it,” Spencer whispered softly, and Aaron smiled.
Spencer’s dreams didn’t bother him the rest of the night.