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Shiva ran as hard as she could, following the Outsiders who were taking her to see the Teacher. Her heart was racing with excitement: she had so much to tell him. She had to tell him that now she knows his name. She knows that nice soldier who was his friend. Maybe they can all be friends now?
She could see his silhouette in the distance. Her lips parted in a large smile as she was about to call him, but remained frozen like that.
That silhouette was not Teacher.
It was a tree.
No. No. No!
Shiva ran towards him. Calling him. Crying. Hitting the hard, black bark. This couldn't be!
She felt the cold of the silver locket. She took it out of her pocket and looked at her reflexion in the oval. Her face was covered in tears that were slowly freezing in the winter night. A cold, hard branch was touching her face, trying to wipe them away. That was Teacher. He was still alive. At least a little part.
„Teacher, thank you for always caring for me“, she sobbed. „This locket was very important to you, here, I want you to have it.“ Please, remember me.
But as her fingers laid the locket into the hand resembling a branch, she could feel a warm sensation leaving through her fingers and entering Teacher's. His hand was becoming more and more human and hers more and more black.
His soul. I'm giving him his soul back.
Shiva smiled as she collapsed to the ground being fully consumed by the curse.
***
Teacher's eyes opened. He coiled his fingers around the object in his hand. The locket. He could swear that it was warm. And in the reflexion he could see that he was him, still alive, with his broken horn and pure black fur.
There was something black underneath his feet... well, foot. A small Outsider in a whte dress and the face was... Still white? Wait, he knew that face. He had spent a lot of time with that face. He held the locket tighter, closing his eyes to concentrate, to remember.
His eyes shot open like wild fires in the night.
SHIVA!
He crouched over the small, unconscious body, tarnished by the curse. Her little arms, her little feet, her chest, even her hair were pure black. Only her precious little face was still white, still human. He wanted to touch it, but he couldn't. He did this to her. Why did she even return his soul to him? He didn't deserve life. She did.
Teacher was holding his head, wanting to cover his eyes with his hands, but being unable to. He had to look over this child. But she will soon forget him. She will soon become like him. And then, she would....
„You must return the soul to the Mother“.
The headless Outsider was standing behind him, surrounded by his friends. They were all coming closer, their movements were fast and twitchy. They seemed both excited and worried. It was hard to tell with their expressionless faces and manner of speech.
„The soul has still not been tarnished completely“, the headless Outsider continued. „But you must take it to the Mother. Take the soul and hold it in your hands. Return to the Mother what was stolen from her!“
„Return to the Mother what was stolen from her!“, repeated the Outsiders. They were closing the circle around Teacher and Shiva.
I have no choice. He thought. This is my last hope.
Teacher grabbed Shiva's small, unconscious body. He couldn't tell how light she was. He cursed the foot that he lost as it made him unstable. He was so afraid that he would slip and drop her. No he couldn't. He would never forgive himself. He had to stop hurting her. No more.
„Take me to the Mother“, he told the Outsiders.
The one with many hands and centaur body held up Teacher and placed him on its back.
„Strange Child cannot walk without its foot“, it said. „We need to help it take the Soul to Mother“.
All of the Outsiders were rushing towards the lake. The forest was cold and frozen, icy winds were blowing the snow everywhere. Teacher wondered if Shiva could still feel the cold. He wrapped her up in his coat, pressing her on his chest. He was hoping that his body was warm. He didn't know. But he had to hope. He was holding the Soul in his hands, feeling it and taking it to the Mother. Has he really become an Outsider? Would he give up his humanity for her?
Yes. I already did. But this time, I will not hurt her. I must have hope. I must have hope.
The surface of the lake was still like a mirror despite the gusts of cold wind. There was no ice on it even though entire trees were covered in white frost. It felt welcoming.
Teacher held Shiva even closer to his chest as he descended from the large Outsider's back. The hound shaped Outsiders helped him stand still. They guided him towards the water. If he could breathe, he would sigh deeply. But instead, he just looked at the sweetest face he had seen in his life, now surrounded by darkness instead of hair. He recalled his memories. Hugged her even tighter.
„Let's go, Shiva“.
The water must have been cold. He could not tell. He and the other Outsiders were sinking towards the Mother. The large whale Outsider welcomed them.
„Oh, you have detached from the Mother“, noticed the head of the headless Outsider. „Now you are complete. Glad to meet you!“
„Glad to meet you! Glad to meet you! Glad to meet you!“ repeated the other Outsiders.
„Glad... to... meet... you...!“ replied the whale.
Teacher had no time for this nonsense, but he was one of them now. He was holding the Soul in his hands, feeling it and bringing it to the Mother.
„Glad to meet you as well.“ he said to the whale. „Now, let's hurry and take the Soul to the Mother's hole.“
The hole was the same as always. Black, deep and emitting the gentle sound.
„We're home, Mother“, the Outsiders spoke. „This time, we have a Soul. Strange Child has brought a Soul to you.“
„Mother, I beg you“, Teacher fell to his knees. „Please, remove the curse from this child. I cannot... Without her I'm...“
„What are you doing?“, said the head of the headless Outsider.
„What am I supposed to do?“, Teacher asked.
„It doesn't know! It doesn't know! Strange Child doesn't know!“ Outsiders yelped.
„What is it that I don't know?“ Teacher was almost screaming at this point. „Tell me! Please. Please, tell me.“
„You must enter.“ The head spoke.
„In the hole?“
„Yes“.
Teacher felt so nervous. There was nothing but darkness down there. The waters of the lake were dark as well, but not that dark. He couldn't see a single shape in the hole. And it didn't help that he was missing a foot. But Shiva was in his hands. One look at her was enough to encourage him to jump into the darkness.
There was no water in the cave. It was very moist and dark, but not underwater. The winds inside were singing. And for the first time in his life, he could understand the Mother.
She was telling him to place Shiva – no, Soul – on the floor. He gently did so. His body was moving on its own now, almost as if it knew exactly what to do. The Mother must have been guiding him. His hands pressed onto Shiva's chest. They turned into branches again. The branches pierced her small, fragile body. They were opening her chest. But, instead of blood and heart, there was a white clover inside.
Teacher took it as his hands quickly became human again. The little flower was white on one side, but the other side was slowly being consumed by darkness. The curse. That was Shiva's soul. He really was holding a soul in his hands.
„Mother, I give this Soul to you“, he spoke. „I have done my duty. Could you please, remove the curse now?“
But to Teacher's horror, the flower disappeared into the darkness. It was gone. The winds were blowing harder. He wanted to hit something, kick something, shout, scream, hit his head on the wall. Insetead, he fell on his knees, looking at the body in front of him.
I am sorry, Albert.
The wind spoke. The Mother. Her song now had words. And her voice was the same as Shiva's, only so, so far away. Teacher couldn't reply.
I am sorry that you had to be the one to break the curse.
Teacher lifted his head. From the darkness emerged a speck of light. A tiny white clover. The winds gently guided it to his palm. It was purely white. Glowing even. He didn't have the strength to move. He just stared at Shiva's soul, now untarnished.
The children of mine and Heavenly Father’s have pleaded for so long for the curse to be removed. Father asked me to remove the curse, for their sake. I do love my chidren, even though they do not love me. They might love me more if the curse was gone. So I agreed. Just for this. We sent an Outsider Inside with a mission to take a Soul. That Soul was you. I'm so sorry, Albert.
The darkness had no form. The wind he couldn't feel. The ground underneath him was damp. The little clover in his hand was glowing. Shiva was sleeping still.
We did not plan for it to be you. But you were wounded and in pain you called the Outsider for help. My Black Child became a new vessel for your Soul. Your Soul, like every other comes from me. The Black Child's body was my creation. You became mine in body and soul. Completely cursed. I'm sorry, Albert.
The clover's glow was warm. He knew it. The winds, he couldn't tell.
But when you became a Black Child, you were the only one with clear purpose, the one who could bring the Souls to me. You were the one that Father asked me for to break the curse. The souls belong to me, the vessels belong to Father. And you are the only one who belongs fully to me. The only Black Child with a soul. I am so sorry, Albert.
He felt indifferent. He was just waiting for her to tell how to return the Soul back. She's pure now. Uncursed. Pleaselet that be true.
Father did not believe that a Black Child could resolve the curse. He preferred the Insiders who worshipped him. So he bet that they would break the curse first with his help. He sent them so many revelations, asking them to return his vessel to him. He is still so mad at me. But he lost the bet. My Child was the one to break the curse first. Can you forgive me, Albert?
He didn't know. He was staring at the clover hoping desperately that it won't stop glowing. It didn't. The glow was so warm. He could feel it in his chest.
Father, the Soul was returned to me. I return the vessel to you. Lift the curse off this child. Albert won't forgive us if you don't.
Teacher watched in awe as the body of his beloved Shiva began to glow. All the black spots were removed and scattered by the Mother's winds. He placed his hand on her chest again. The branches pierced it again. He placed the clover in the vessel. The wound closed, leaving not a trace behind. Shiva's eyes opened.
„Teacher?“ she whispered. „Where are we?“
He did not reply. He hugged her tightly, pressing her onto his chest, feeling warmth. He knew that it was warmth. She was here. And not cursed anymore. And her little hands were wrapping around him as well. She was shaking. Crying.
„Teacher, I thought... I thought I would never see you again!“
„I'm sorry I made you so worried“, he responded. „I will never leave you again!“
Albert, I created you to bring souls to me. Once souls that were stolen from me are brought back, I can return the vessels to the Father. Once they reunite, the curse is no more. Shiva will never be cursed again. I am sorry that I cannot return your vessel to the Father. You will remain a Black Child. But you will remove the curse of those whose souls you bring to me.
„Teacher, who is talking?“ Shiva asked.
„It's not important“, he said, still holding her in a hug.
„But they know your name.“
He let her go and looked into her face, lifting his ears in confusion.
„When the soldiers took me, they sent me to this evil man who wanted to kill me“, she recalled.
Teacher shuddered, but before he could respond, she continued: „But one nice soldier saved me. He told me that your name is Albert and that you had a wife and daughter. He asked me if I was your daughter. Am I, Teacher?“
„I don't know“, he replied. „But, one thing is for sure. I will take care of you. For now and forever.“
She smiled and hugged him again. He didn't want to ask her about what happened Inside. This was no place or time.
Albert, I know you will never forgive me. But take this gift to understand that I truly am sorry.
Strangely, he did not feel anything happening in particular. Until Shiva pointed out: „Teacher, your horn is back! Ah, and so is your foot!“
He tapped on them with his hands and sure, they were there.
„I'm so happy that you're all better!“ she giggled, jumping around the darkness. „Oh but, where exactly are we? I can't see anything!“
„We are under the lake“, he replied.
„Under the lake?“ Her eyes widened. „So you went alllllllllll the way to the bottom and then went even under the bottom?“ she asked gesticulating with her hand.
„Yes“, he sighed, „it looks like I did.“
„But how do we return to the surface?“
That sure hit him. Shiva was alive and well now. She would definitely drown in the lake.
„Could you wait here for a bit?“ he asked and when she nodded he quickly jumped into the winds, letting them carry him towards the cavern's entrance. He poked his head outside and called.
„Hey, the newest Child!“
„Me...?“ the whale responded.
„Yes, you“, Teacher nodded. „I need your help. You must take me and Shiva to the surface as fast as possible, is that something you could do?“
„I... guess... maybe...“ it replied. „I... have... never... carried... you... and... Shiva... to... the... surface..., so... I... do... not... know...“
For Teacher, that reply was enough. He knew he couldn't truly speak with Black Children like with normal people, although he wasn't sure what exactly normal even meant for him. He jumped back into the cave and lifted Shiva up in his arms.
„Shiva, listen“, he told her sternly. „You must hold your breath now. I will cover your mouth with my hand to make sure you don't breathe in any water. You could drown if you breathe. But I promise, it will only be for a very short time, okay?“
She smiled: „Okay! I can't wait to go home!“
He held her firmly, let her take a deep breath, then pressed his palm onto her mouth and closed her nostrils. Jumping up, he went back to the cold water of the lake which he could tell was horrible as Shiva twitched and almost gasped from shock. He grabbed the whale Outsiders fin, climbed onto its back and let it carry him towards the surface.
The whale didn't know how incredibly fast it was. Shiva and Teacher were on its back, on the surface after just half a minute or so. He let go of her face and she hungrily breathed in the cold morning air. The pink sunrays of the dawn were piercing through the mist over the lake. Shiva opened her mouth in awe even though she was shivering intensely from being all wet in the winter cold.
„Please, swim towards the shore“, Teacher asked the whale and it listened. He jumped off of its back on the beach and patted it gently. „Thank you.“
„No..., thank... you.... You... returned... the... Soul... to... the... Mother...“
„The Soul has been returned to Mother! The Soul has been returned to Mother! The curse is broken! The curse is broken!“
The Outsiders were jumping and almost singing in frenzy.
„Is the curse really broken, Teacher?“ Shiva asked.
„Honestly, I don't know“, he replied. „ I was just told that you are free from it. But we'll talk about that later. Right now, I must warm you up!“
He rushed towards the pair of hound shaped Outsiders who were playing with a piece of cloth. He took it from them, but they interpreted it as a game, so he had to run around yelling at them to stop chasing him and tugging the cloth as he needed it for Shiva. Shiva herself was laughing out loud at the scene, but when she sneezed, Teacher sternly told the Outsiders to back off. This time they listened. He quickly removed her wet clothes, and used the cloth to dry her up. She was still shivering. He was completely wet as well, so there was no helping there.
And then, he noticed that the headless Outsider's cloth was dry. He thanked him for his help, yanked his head from his hands and quickly removed the cloth that was stuck on it. To the delight of hound shaped Outsiders he dropped the head on the ground and they immediately began playing with it.
“That’s what you get for not telling me that bringing her to the Mother is the cure for the curse!”
“But- but I did not know!” the head grunted as it was being chased and kicked around.
Teacher paid no mind at first, but when Shiva asked him not to be mean to the Outsider, he sighed and told the hounds to let him have his head back. As best as he could he wrapped Shiva in the cloth. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.
„We must hurry home now“, he told her. „Your feet already have some frostbite.“
Shiva nodded and grabbed his hand. And he realized at that moment just how far away their house was. There's no way that she could walk there barefoot. But he couldn't carry her as he was wet and his clothes were slowly turning into ice. Desperate, he stood there thinking hard about what to do.
„Teacher, are you worried again?“ Shiva asked, tugging his sleeve. „I'm alright!“
„No you aren't“, he shook his head. „You are freezing and I don't know how to take you home...“
„The soul named Shiva! We found her!“
Teacher heard loud voices of the winged Outsiders flocking around him.
„This belongs to soul named Shiva, does it not?“ they asked as they dropped something in front of her.
„My boots!“ she yelled.
„Yes, it does“, Teacher thanked them. „You saved her.“
***
The mist rose up quickly and, to Teacher's relief, the day was sunny and without wind. Even though it was cold, he could see that Shiva was enjoying the sunlight. They were walking and holding hands. He couldn't really feel her warmth, but he was glad that she was there and feeling well. So well in fact thet she was jumping on some crunchier leaves and branches. He enjoyed seeing her so joyful.
However, he was not as joyful. So much happened. So, that is why his face resembled the Outsider that cursed him so much. Because it was the face of that particular Outsider. Teacher was a soul in its body. His own body, the body of the doctor named Albert who had a wife and a daughter and a friend, that body was long lost. And so were the memories of it. Now, he was a creation of the Mother. He was a Black Child with the ability to cure the curse from those affected by it. He was still capable of healing people. It felt strange. That was a huge responsibility, but a same role he had as an Insider.
But he could think of that responsibility later. The people of the Inside would never trust him anyways. If they return to claim Shiva again, he will show them. He will protect her with all he has. Even with his little army of Black Children. He had no idea why they were so happy that the curse was broken. Maybe they wanted that. Maybe they were like him, longing for a warm hand that could touch them, lonely in those endless forests of the Outside. Forests made of people he could not cure.
He felt so stupid. If he was able to take Shiva to the Mother as early as the Black Children told him, he would be able to find out about this back then. He would be able to heal her grandma. He would be able to save so many lives. He would be able to hug her back then. He is never going to forgive himself.
„Teacher, look!“, Shiva shouted and let go of his hand. Before he could stop her she ran away, towards a large tree near the road. They were already on the outskirts of the forest? He hadn't even noticed being so lost in thought.
„Apples!“ Shiva yelled in excitement. „Teacher they are all red and ripe! Can we please pick them?“
„Oh, Shiva it's too cold for that“, he replied. „You need to get home and warm up as soon as possible.“
„But, Teacher, I'm so hungry!“ she complained. „Wouldn't I warm up faster if I had a warm meal at home? You know, something like a tasty apple pie?“
He shrugged. She was right. And probably very hungry, yes.
Teacher took off his coat.
„Here, we can carry the apples in it“, he said. „Don't worry“, he quickly added after seeing Shiva's concerned frown. „I can't get sick. I can't even feel the cold. I'm cursed, remember?“ And so blessed to have you.
She smiled brightly and let Teacher lift her up and place her on his shoulders so that she could reach the apples easier.
„Just watch out for my horns!“ he warned. „I don't want you to get hurt!“
She giggled and happily collected the apples. It was getting warmer. The sun was shining brighter and the snow began to melt. Shiva's giggles were accompanied by gentle drops of melted snow plopping on the ground covered in muddy leaves. It was a wonderful day, really. He was getting dry as well. He could probably carry her like this all the way back home. She would probably love that.
„Hey, Shiva, I think that's enough. Let's go home.“
„Teacher, could you carry me home on your shoulders like that?“ she asked. „It's so fun up here!“
I knew it.
He gladly agreed and they headed home.
„Shiva, I don't know if I told you, but grandma gave me her apple pie recipe“, he told her as they approached the hut. „I will make you the best apple pie you've ever had!“
„Liar!“ she yelled. „Teacher is so bad at cooking! I bet you're gonna make a pie all black!“
„Oh is that so!“ he pretended to be offended. „Well let's make it together then. Then if it turns out black, I won't be the only one to blame.“
„But whenever we cook together we make a huge mess and then you have to clean it, Teacher.“ Shiva sounded a little bit sad.
Teacher took her off of his shoulders and positioned her right in front of him.
„Hey, you know, cooking isn't fun if we don't make a mess“, he said in the most reassuring voice he could muster.
Shiva's face shone as she smiled. She grabbed Teacher's hand and they entered their hut together.