Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It is a nice day today, not all days are nice in London, but this one is particularly sunny. It’s the second Tuesday of August, 2019. Most people do not know but it’s been a few months since Armageddon, the great war of Heaven and Hell, has been averted before it even started. Very few people remember the day where the M25 caught on fire and the city of Atlantis was discovered. 

Two of these people are drinking wine in a bookshop on this day. Aziraphale invited his friend Crowley for a glass and a little chat. It’s new that the angel is the one reaching out in their partnership, but not unwelcomed.

‘’And so.’’ Crowley says drunkenly. ‘’I went to sleep like I usually do, but then the sound came back again, and I tried to miracle it silent, whatever that was, but it kept making that damn noise! I look out the window, and it’s the jackhammer of a construction worker down the street. Apparently they were renewing the pavement over there. Can you imagine, a jackhammer immune to miracles?’’

‘’Well, I’m aware that some miscel-mic- various objects could be unaffected by miracles.’’ Aziraphale hiccups before he continues. ‘’It could be one of them?’’

‘’Maybe.’’ the snake grumbles. ‘’Anyway, that’s pretty much how my week went.’’

‘’I see.’’ Aziraphale looks down at his empty glass of wine for a moment, then back up at Crowley. ‘’Say, is there anything you planned to do today?’’

Crowley scratches his head. ‘’I dunno. I guess I have to sca- I mean give positive encouragement to my plants. Then I think I’m going to catch up on some sleep.’’

‘’Oh.’’ There is a disappointed tone in his voice as he twists the ring on his little finger. ‘’Of course, you must be busy. Forget that I said anything.’’

Crowley raises an eyebrow. ‘’What is it?’’

‘’Well, it’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I wanted to ask if you would be interested to go to the art gallery with me tonight. I’ve heard it’s the opening of a new exposé. Apparently you can listen to the music that inspired the artwork there, and I saw that a few of your bebop songs were listed. I thought you might be interested.’’

The bebop songs Aziraphale is referring to are from various pop rock bands Crowley listens to, including The Rolling Stone, AC/DC and Queen. Crowley’s glasses slide from his nose as he listens to Aziraphale’s proposal.

‘’Sure, why not. Let’s go to the art gallery.’’

‘’Really?’’ Aziraphale’s smile comes back.

‘’It’s not like I have anything better to do.’’ It is true that Crowley doesn’t have much to do, but he is far more interested by the prospect of spending time with the angel surrounded by his favorite music. Of course, he doesn’t say that.

‘’Oh, that’s just tip-top! We could go there around six PM? I have to go fetch a book from a friend and then I plan on reorganizing my bookshop a little before I’m ready to go.’’

‘’That sounds good. I’ll call you an hour in advance just to confirm it, alright?’’

‘’Of course. Just call the shop, I should be back by then.’’

The two finish their drink before they sober up. With the plans made for tonight, Crowley slither-walk back to his car. A few passerby aknowledge him as he’s a regular of the streets of Soho. Everyone knows Antony J. Crowley as ‘Mr. Fell’s angry friend.’

Crowley drives back to his flat, and he thinks as he’s on the road. It’s been almost three months since they stopped the apocalypse, since their trial. He’s counted each day into his head from then. Although he expected the quiet, he still finds it strange how he hasn’t noticed any other changes since then. He understands that Hell’s bureaucracy always moves slowly down there even with important stuff, but Heaven? These pretentious pricks are usually so quick with paper work, ready to go back into action to thwart evil-doing. At least, that’s what Aziraphale told him.

He’s never going to admit it, but he’s been on edge for a while, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The ex higher-ups are not the only things on his mind. He also thinks about Aziraphale, a lot. Ever since they freed themselves from their respective offices, he’s been questioning himself. Could this be it? Is this the right time to share with the Principality his feelings he’s harbored for him for the past six thousand years? The art gallery could be a good opportunity, he tells himself, maybe he could just ask how he thinks their friendship should move forward now that the Arrangement is completely useless.

Crowley sighs and brushes away the thought. It’s too soon, too fast. He can’t ruin this now when they have just started to live the rest of their life. What they have is enough for Crowley now, he should just wait and test the waters before he makes a move.

He looks around and he realizes he’s not driving toward Mayfair. He curses, he's been wondering so much that now he’s just driving around. He needs to calm down, everything will be fine. He just needs to focus on driving back home, preparing for the meeting with Aziraphale, and smelling the sudden odor of ozone…

Ozone… The same kind of ozone he smells when he needs a new outfit, or when Aziraphale snaps his fingers to heat up his hot cocoa without needing a microwave. 

A miracle.

His heartbeat quickens—he doesn’t need to have a heart as a demon, but this body sometimes does as it pleases—he is sure that this one isn’t coming from him, but he is uncertain of where it could have come from, or which entity could have caused it. You see, there’s not much difference between an angelic miracle and a demonic miracle, they both feel, smell, and taste the same. The only difference is how it is used.

It has to come from somewhere nearby, so Crowley looks around as he drives to see if anything in the street changed, or if there’s a strange individual wearing either dirty clothes or impeccable white attire observing him, but there is none.

Did he imagine that? He must be getting way too paranoid, he thinks. It might not even be a miracle, just a weird smell that triggered his fight or flight response.

But then he looks into the front mirror, and his eyes come face to face with the reflection of a dark, unfamiliar, brown eye.

‘’The infamous Crowley,’’ The stranger in the backseat says with a vicious smirk, ‘’I never thought I would one day meet your ugly mug.’’ 

Crowley feels a ball lodge itself in his throat by the sight of the devilish-looking individual, but before he can do anything, he hears a honk from in front of him. The stranger’s eye widens and he screams, ‘’Damnit, watch the road!’’

At the last second, Crowley looks back and swerves around the car he almost crashes into. He got so distracted that he rolled into a different lane. The two man-shaped beings take back their bearings from the road scare and they don’t say a word for a minute.

Finally, the stranger cuts the tension. ‘’Did you try to discorporate us or something?!’’

Crowley comes back to his senses and asks, ‘’Who the hell are you!?’’

‘’I’ll tell you when you park the car. I don’t want to explain to HR how I got discorporated.’’

Crowley doesn’t think that Hell’s HR would do anything about it, he doesn’t even know why they made an HR department in the first place as it’s job is to only slow down everything down there. The department is only comical by its name as it is ‘human ressources’ instead of ‘demon ressources’, and he was told many times when he still worked for them that demons don’t need ressources.

He snaps his fingers, and suddenly the Bentley starts to drive by itself. He turns around in his seat to get a better look at his unwelcomed guest. He has to say that he’s not at all what he expected.

At first, the guy looked cool with the way he was sitting before, but after the crash scare he looks more stressed, glaring back and forth between Crowley and the unattended car wheel. He doesn’t seem to like the fact the car is still moving without a driver.

The individual is quite a handsome one, with square shoulders and a soft stomach. A lot of things about him are dark, dark brown hair, dark skin and one dark eye. His other eye—on the guy’s right side—is covered with an old black eyepatch. He has many visible scars on his hands and on his face, the most prominent one is crossing over the bridge of his nose.

A few other things are catching Crowley’s eyes. The stranger’s dress style, for exemple, can only be described as a ratty looking American PI from the 1930s. He wears a dirty trench coat full of holes, black dusty pants held by suspenders and a grey shirt with a suspicious looking stain on it. He’s not surprised as most demons don’t have any style—and by most, he means everyone except himself. The guy seems to have dyed the tip of his hair with grey ashes, and he smells like he just freshly jumped into a trashcan full of the week’s leftover pasta, with the hint of something he can’t quite place.

The stranger snorts at him after an awkward moment, ‘’Do you look at every lady who appears in your backseat like that, or am I just special?’’ Crowley realizes that the entity’s accent also sounds American.

‘’I’m going to ask it one more time. Who. Are. You?’’ Crowley hisses as he glares at the other demon. ‘’And you better answer me now, because I have a container full of holy water in my glove box, and I’m not afraid to us it on you.’’

This wipes the smirk off of the strangers face. He looks at the glove box and back to Crowley, waiting to see what he would do. The Serpent bluffs, obviously, but he really hopes the other demon won’t see through his lie and that his holy water resistance reputation would be enough to get the message across.

‘’Fine!’’ The demon sighs loudly. ‘’The name is Steel. Happy?’’

‘’Hell sent you?’’ Crowley asks cautiously.

‘’That’s right.’’ The demon Steel leans back in his seat. ‘’I think you can imagine that the people downstairs are not too hot with letting a rogue demon run around and perform blessings, or whatever it is you do up here. However, you’re a unique situation, and Hell can’t do much about it. That’s why I’m here.’’

‘’And what, exactly, do you do?’’ Crowley raises an eyebrow.

‘’I’ve been sent from the Espionage department to tail you and make reports of what you’re doing to Head Office, just to make sure you’re not fucking around too much and mess with Hell’s plans.’’

‘’Well, guess what? You’re already bad at it. Now I know you’re tailing me.’’

Steel hums thoughtfully. ‘’I almost did that, doing as I’m told and following you from the shadows. But you know, I like this better.’’ He leans forward and shows a crooked smile. ‘’Now you know that Hell is onto you, watching your every step.’’

There’s a pit inside of Crowley’s chest. Crowley has many pits actually, and they are all labeled. There’s ‘Old angel juice place’ and ‘Unrequited love for Aziraphale’. There’s even one called ‘Lost bet, lost ale’ although he’ll never tell you what that's for and will keep this great embarrassment inside of him until the universe becomes a heat death. But this specific pit is simply called ‘Worry’

What could this mean for him? For Aziraphale? They’ll have to watch their every movement and their words to make sure nothing slips out. Especially after the trial, Hell cannot know how he really survived the ordeal.

He turns his attention back to the road and takes control of the vehicle again, hiding his expression from the other demon. ‘’Get out of my car, restart your tailing from afar, I’ll pretend I didn’t see you. I’m busy today and I don’t have time for you right now.’’

‘’Why should I listen to you?’’ He hears Steel say. ‘’Hell doesn’t trust you, Crowley . I’m going to follow you home whether you like it or not.’’

‘’Would be a funny place if demons started to trust each other.’’ Crowley mumbles under his breath.

‘’I’d also like to point out that I can just teleport into your apartment, so don’t try to miracle me away.’’ Steel’s face looks smug in the mirror and Crowley groans. He focuses on the road, hoping that the guy will just disappear eventually, but Steel doesn’t seem to be done talking. ‘’What’s with the long face? You don’t have to worry, it’s not like we can kill you since you’re pretty much indestructable…for now.’’

Crowley steps on the accelerator and finds a sliver of delight when he hears Steel scream in surprise and gripping the backseat for dear life. And with that, the Bentley zooms towards Mayfair, almost crashing into three pedestrians and the back of another car.

Aziraphale, for his part, is very happy with his day so far. He got his book with him and is on his way back to the bookshop. His friend recommended this one as he thought Aziraphale would like the story. Not only that, but he passed by the bakery a few blocks down the road and got himself something sweet. This day can’t get better than this.

Well, not quite. There’s still the visit to the art gallery left today, and the angel feels his heart flutter. Yes, he’s excited to be seeing it with his friend, but there’s also trepidation. He planned to ask Crowley about what they should do with their Arrangement and how they should move forward since Armaggedon has been averted and they no longer answer to their former bosses.

There’s also this feeling in his chest, the one that he noticed being present since 1941. They no longer have to worry about it, they are on their own side, and Aziraphale has been thinking if it’s a good idea to share his feelings for Crowley now. He bites his lips and shakes the thought away. No, it’s too early for that. He’s not even sure if Crowley feels the same. He’s going to wait before saying anything, but tonight will definitely be the first step towards it.

He’s almost home, he can see his bookshop in the distance. However, he sees something strange moving inside of the building. As he gets closer, the shadow of a humanoid shape is much clearer. That’s not right, he is sure he locked the door and put the closing sign on it when he walked out. Nobody should be inside the bookshop.

He hurries to the door—it is unlocked—and walks inside. The shadow walks behind a bookshelf at the last second. It’s probably a burglar that found their way in, or a teenager looking to cause trouble.

‘’We are closed at the moment.’’ Aziraphale speaks loud and clear. ‘’You can’t be in there. You’ll be in no trouble if you walk out now.’’ Hopefully, this will be enough to dissuade the intruder.

Instead, Aziraphale is answered with a laugh, rich and sweet like smooth chocolate.’’Oh, so sorry. I must have read the opening hours wrong! But I can’t go now, I need to find a particular book . Perhaps you could help me find it, book-keeper?’’

The stranger walks out from behind the bookshelf, and Aziraphale’s eyes widen at the sight. The man in front of him is tall and lean, and his gait is graceful. He has pale skin, slick black hair and dark brown eyes behind round, gold rim glasses. He wears an immaculate, stylish, white suit with brown dress shoes and a yellow necktie. If this isn’t enough for anyone to guess the entity's true nature by the way he dresses, his smile says it all as two sharp golden canine peaks out from his lips.

‘’You…’’ Aziraphale points at the other. ‘’You are an—’’

‘’Ah, the infamous Aziraphale, Principality of Earth and Guardian of the Eastern gate!’’ The stranger cuts him off with flair as he approaches the disturbed bookseller. ‘’It is a pleasure to finally meet you.’’

The other angel takes Aziraphale's already raised hand with both hands and gives it a firm handshake. From this close, Aziraphale can make out a few other details from the stranger. His nails are long and manicured, painted with a glittery yellow and ending in round pointed nails that dig a bit into his hand like talons. The man’s face is lean but soft, and he smells smokey sweet, like cologne.

‘’I wish the pleasure was shared.’’ Aziraphale says as the other releases his hand. ‘’Who are you? And what are you doing in my bookshop?’’

‘’Oh, I completely forgot to introduce myself, didn’t I? How rude of me. Let me introduce myself.’’ The man’s back straightens as he looks down at Aziraphale. ‘’My name is Rexiel, angel 46 of the HR department. And as for my presence here, well, I’ve been promoted to Surveillance!’’

‘’Ah, um, congratulations? That doesn’t explain why you are here.’’

The angel Rexiel chuckles. ‘’To watch you, of course. Just because you are not affected by hellfire doesn’t mean that you are not on Heaven’s mind.’’

‘’Ah, I see.’’ Aziraphale’s shoulders slumps at the bad news. ‘’And can you tell me what your job consist of?’’

‘’I’ll be happy to tell you.’’ Rexiel gives his best customer service smile. ‘’I’ve been ordered to follow you around, every day, and report anything noteworthy back to the Higher ups.’’

‘’Ah, that is…tickety boo.’’

Rexiel notices Aziraphale’s lack of enthusiasm and his smile softens just a little bit. ‘’I know this is going to be a hard transition, but it’s in everyone’s best interest to monitor you since you betrayed Heaven.’’ He might sound comforting, but his words come on as a bit disingenuous. ‘’Oh, but you don’t have to worry about disturbing your routine. You can go back to your normal activities, and I'll make myself discreet. You’ll see, it’s as if I’m not even there!’’

Aziraphale isn’t quite sure about that, but before he can add anything, his phone on the wall rings. He looks at it and he remembers. Crowley was supposed to call him, but he didn’t think it'd be so soon. It’s not even three PM yet.

He looks between the phone and Rexiel before he says, ‘’One second, I need to take this.’’

Aziraphale walks to the black phone and answers it. Immediatly, he hears, ‘’Aziraphale, it’s me.’’

‘’I know it’s you. You’re calling awfully early, we agreed six PM, remember?’’

‘’Yeah, about that.’’ Crowley winces. ‘’I’m not going to be able to go, angel. Something came up.’’

‘’Oh, I see.’’ Aziraphale is disappointed to hear this. He was looking forward to that.

‘’Sorry about that, I’m not trying to ditch you or anything. Just go without me, and tell me how it was next time we see each other, okay?’’

Aziraphale looks back at where Rexiel is standing. The other angel waves at him and smiles innocently. What would have happened if Crowley didn’t cancel? He would be followed for sure by him, and Crowley would notice and worry about him and their Arrangement. He sighs, maybe it’s for the best that Crowley doesn’t know about this.

‘’That’s alright, I don’t think I’m going to the gallery anyway. I may have underestimated the time it would take to reorganize the bookshop.’’

‘’Can’t you just miracle it clean? You don’t have to go through all of that .’’

‘’Of course, I have to. I have a process for doing it, and it doesn’t feel the same when I use a miracle, you know that.’’

‘’If you say so…’’

‘’...Don’t worry about the art gallery, alright? We’ll go another time.’’

‘’Sure, another time.’’

‘’Well, I have to go, the books won’t rearrange themselves. See you soon, Crowley.’’

‘’See you.’’ And with that, Crowley hangs up. Aziraphale puts back the receiver on the wall and sighs. 

He turns around to look at Rexiel, only to find him missing. He doesn’t think he truly left, if he did Aziraphale would have felt it, or he would have heard the bells on the door chime. He looks between each bookshelf until he finally finds him in a corner of the building.

His blood boils when he sees that Rexiel is reading a book. Not just any book, but a very precious one. The angel is flipping the pages without gloves, he even licks his finger for Heaven’s sake!

Rexiel looks up at Aziraphale and asks, ‘’Do humans really find enjoyment from reading these books ?’’

Aziraphale sighs, he has a feeling that this is going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

It’s been a week since Hell has sent Crowley a babysitter, and he is getting sick of him. He sometimes thinks of himself as an annoying demon, but he’s nothing compared to Steel’s level of annoyance. For someone who is supposed to watch him, he does an incredible amount of whining.

Steel complains about everything. He complains about his decor, ‘’Wow, Renaissance, huh? That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever seen.’’ , his flat, ‘’Why is it so empty? There’s enough space for six people to live in this apartment!’’ , even critizing his methods when it comes to his plants, ‘’Why the hell are you screaming at your plants for? It’s not like they have eyes and ears! You look stupid doing that.’’

Crowley has been wondering if they’ve sent this demon specifically to make his life a living hell. In any case, he can’t handle this anymore, he has to tell Aziraphale. Maybe the angel will have an idea of how to get rid of him.

He makes sure that Steel isn’t looking at him when he makes the call. The phone rings three times before someone answers. ‘’This is A.Z Fell and Co. How may I help you today?’’

‘’Aziraphale, it’s me.’’

‘’Oh, Crowley! What a nice surprise.’’

‘’Yeah, listen, can you meet me at St. James right now? There’s something I need to talk to you about.’’ Crowley looks at Steel, who seems to be trying to find out why the remote for the television doesn’t work.

‘’Of course, um.’’ There’s a moment of silence on the phone before Aziraphale says, ‘’There’s also something I need to tell you.’’

‘’Great, meet me at our usual spot.’’ Crowley hangs up the phone after that, just before Steel walks towards him with a questioning look.

‘’Who were you talking to?’’

‘’The service provider. Been meaning to call them for a while.’’ He says smoothly. He hopes the other demon didn’t notice that his television isn’t plugged in to begin with.

‘’I see.’’ Steel takes out a notebook from his coat pocket and writes something down with a frown. 

Crowley needs to find a way to escape Steel if he wants to meet Aziraphale in peace. The shorter demon won’t be too happy to let Crowley out of his sight anytime soon. He needs to make him think he’s somewhere in his flat, and he has the perfect idea for it.

‘’Well, while you write that, I’m going to take a leak.’’ Crowley says before walking towards the bathroom.

Steel raises an eyebrow at him. ‘’Take a leak? Crowley, you’re a demon, you don’t need to pee.’’

‘’I do actually.’’ He looks back when he stops in front of the bathroom door. ‘’I just have a slower system because of my demonic nature. Since I drank an entire bottle of wine last week, it’s ready to come out. You’re welcome to join me if you want.’’

Steel’s nose crickles at the idea and says, ‘’Whatever, have your pee party if you want. I’ll be in the living room.’’ He then pulls out a Nokia 3310 and plays on it as he walks away.

Crowley enters the small bathroom and locks the door behind him. There’s a small window above the shower that he could climb out of. First, he opens the sink’s faucet just a crack so that the water flow makes it sound like he’s busy. Then he opens the window and transforms into his snake form, slittering easily out and going down with the help of a nearby tree. He transforms back behind a bush and walks into the street. He calls a cab instead of taking the Bentley, he needs to keep the illusion that he is still inside his flat.

He arrives at the park five minutes later. He finds his and Aziraphale’s bench in front of the pond and he lets out a sigh as he sits heavily on it. It’s been a long week, and for the first time in a while he has some peace and quiet.

He turns his head to the side and sees Aziraphale walking towards him. He looks a bit nervous from afar, fidgeting with his hands and looking behind him for a moment. He waves him over and the angel notices him. A small smile appears on Aziraphale’s face when he notices Crowley.

‘’Good afternoon, Crowley. How has your week been?’’ 

‘’A bit crazy, I’m afraid.’’ Crowley looks up at him. ‘’Look, I wanted to apologize for last week. The art gallery, I mean. It would have been nice to go.’’

‘’Oh, it’s alright. Like I said, we can always go another time.’’ Aziraphale says as he twists one of his rings. Crowley notices this and raises an eyebrow. This is a behavior he’s seen only when Aziraphale is anxious about something.

The two of them stay silent for a moment. The only sounds around them are coming from the ducks and the wind.

‘’So, about what—’’

‘’I’ve been meaning to tell you—’’

The two immortal beings speak at the same time. They look at each other for a moment before Crowley gestures at Aziraphale.

‘’You go first, angel’’

‘’Ah, thank you. I’m afraid what I have to say might be a bit more urgent.’’ Aziraphale takes a deep breath before he continues, ‘’I think we’re in trouble.’’

Crowley feels his chest squeezing when the other says those words. ‘’What?!’’

‘’It might be more precise to say that I’m in trouble, but I thought I would tell you so you don’t have to worry too much.’’

‘’Well, now I’m worried!’’ Crowley stands up from the bench and looks more closely at Aziraphale’s face. ‘’Are you alright? Are you in danger?’’

‘’No, I’m alright and not in immediate danger. As you can see, there’s no harm done to me, it’s just, how do I explain this?’’

Before Aziraphale can explain any of this, they hear a voice calling from behind the angel.

‘’Aziraphale? Aziraphale, where are—Ah! There you are! I was wondering where you had run off to.’’

Crowley blinks at the other man approching. He knows the man’s an angel by the way he is dressed, a very stylish angel even. He didn’t know that existed. Crowley’s even more shocked by the fact he is not jumping at his throat immediately upon seeing the demon.

Aziraphale sighs and turns to the angel. ‘’I thought I told you to stay in the shop while I was in the back.’’

‘’You did say that, but that was under the impression you wouldn’t be getting out of the bookshop.’’ The other angel nods before he holds his hand out to Crowley for a handshake. ‘’You must be the demon known as Crowley, Serpent of Eden, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance!’’

Crowley looks down at the hand as if it’s covered in holy water before turning his attention back to his angel. ‘’Aziraphale? What is going on?’’

The principality winces. ‘’Well, Crowley, this is the reason why I wanted to talk to you. This is Rexiel, and ever since last Tuesday, he’s been following me around.’’

‘’Indeed!’’ Rexiel pulls back his hand when he doesn’t receive a handshake. ‘’It is important to do your job thoroughly, my supervisor used to say, so I’m making sure that every of Aziraphale’s actions is respecting Heaven’s code of conduct for exiled angels to the letter. I must say that Aziraphale has been very cooperative so far, except just now when he decided to escape my supervision.’’

Just like the snap of a finger, everything clicks in Crowley’s mind and he shakes his head slowly. ‘’Fuck, you’ve got one too?’’

Aziraphale furrows his eyebrows. ‘’I have a what too?’’

‘’Crowley! You bastard!’’

Aziraphale looks behind Crowley and a shorter man dressed in slightly tattered clothes is running towards them. ‘’Oh, that’s what you meant by ‘I’ve got one too’.’’ 

The other demon stops beside Crowley and pants heavily. He puts his hands on his knees to support himself. ‘’Damn, I’ve finally found you. Do you know what it’s like to run from your apartment all the way here trying to find you? It’s torture on the lungs.’’ Steel wheezes.

‘’You could have just teleported to me.’’ Crowley points out.

‘’And having to explain that I lost you for 15 minutes at my next review? No thanks, I prefer losing an arm to a hellhound. If you wanted to see your angel friend so bad, just go out the front door like normal people.’’ Steel looks between Crowley and Aziraphale before his gaze falls on Rexiel. ‘’Who the hell are you?’’

‘’Ah, you must be my counterpart on Earth. My name is Rexiel, it’s a pleasure to meet you.’’ Once again, Rexiel extends his hands towards Steel for a handshake.

Steel looks at the hand for a while before pushing it away with one finger. ‘’Yeah, the feeling isn’t mutual.’’

The moment Steel touches the angel’s hand, Rexiel takes the demon’s finger between his thumb and pointer finger and shakes it gently. The angel chuckles, ‘’My, that is the tiniest handshake I’ve seen in my entire life, and that’s saying a lot since I’m 20 456 years old! Then again, I’ve never had a handshake with a demon before. You’ll have to show me your customs one of these days, fellow counterpart.’’

Steel rips his hand away and grumbles while Rexiel smiles at him.

Crowley looks back at Aziraphale and gestures towards the other demon. ‘’Angel, Steel. Steel, angel. Now that introductions are over, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.’’

‘’Yes, I agree.’’ Aziraphale says, ‘’It seems like both of our previous higher ups has sent representatives to watch us.’’

‘’And annoy us.’’ Crowley adds.

Steel straightens his back, crosses his arms and gives a shit eating grin at Crowley. ‘’What, you don’t like my natural charms?’’

Crowley ignores him and starts to walk past the two angels. ‘’Aziraphale, walk with me please.’’

Steel’s face goes from smug to annoyed again. ‘’Hey! You better not disappear on me again!’’

Aziraphale smiles apologetically to the two other entities. ‘’Well, since Crowley and I are just going to walk, you two can follow behind us. At a reasonably far distance if possible, ten meters at least.’’

Rexiel claps his hands together, ‘’How forward of you!’’ Steel just groans.

Aziraphale joins Crowley and the two of them walk together around the park. For a minute, they don’t say a word to each other. The angel looks behind them, and sure enough he sees the other demon and angel follow them ten meters away.

‘’They can’t hear us from where they are, right?’’ Crowley asks him.

‘’Only if we don’t talk too loudly.’’ Aziraphale looks back in front of him and nods at a passerby walking the opposite direction. ‘’I’m assuming this Steel person is the reason why you couldn’t come to the art gallery last week.’’

‘’Same with you, this Rex guy seems like a lot.’’

‘’Oh, you cannot imagine how much.’’ Aziraphale sighs. ‘’I do try to be polite, but there are no words to explain how annoying he’s been this week.’’

Crowley raises an eyebrow. ‘’Really? What kind of annoying things did he do.’’

‘’He keeps touching my things, even the books that need gloves to handle, and he never wears any. Then he’s asking all of those questions about my time on Earth.’’

‘’That doesn’t sound too bad to me.’’

‘’It’s not what he asked for, it’s the way he said it. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like he’s trying to be professional, but he gets a bit too forward at times? Oh, and the worst part is that he talks all the time! Whenever I want a quiet moment for myself, he starts to talk about his past heavenly duties and lecture me about the great good of Heaven.’’

‘’Wow, I’ve never seen you so frustrated by someone else before. He must have really gone under your skin to do that.’’ Crowley says before peeking behind him. ‘’Also, you should probably quiet down, they can definitely hear you from this distance.’’

Aziraphale blushes and looks down at his feet. ‘’Oh right, I forgot. I’m so sorry, I don’t know where all of that came from.’’

‘’It’s alright, angel. You had a bad week, it happens.’’ Crowley shrugs and turns his head back to Aziraphale. ‘’So, how do we get rid of them?’’ When Aziraphale hums confused, Crowley says, ‘’We can’t keep escaping out of windows and hiding from them forever. We need a plan to get them off of our backs so we can go back to normal life.’’

‘’Right.’’ Aziraphale strokes his chin for a moment. ‘’Maybe you could discorporate them?’’

‘’Why me?’’

‘’I’m an angel—’’

Crowley pinches his noses, ‘’—And angels don’t us violence like that, I know. Even if I did that, they’ll just come back with new bodies. And before you ask, if we kill them, Heaven and Hell will just find new people to send to us.’’

‘’Ah… Then I don’t know what we could do.’’ Aziraphale says before his eyes widens. ‘’Maybe we should observe them as well.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Clearly, we do not know how to deal with them right now, and we cannot make them go away easily. But if we know more about them, we might be able to find a better plan to deal with them later.’’

‘’Know your enemy.’’ Crowley hums. ‘’Met the guy who said that once, funny fellow.’’

Aziraphale nods, ‘’Exaclty.’’

They both look behind them at the same time. Steel and Rexiel are still following them, the demon glares grumpily while the angel waves at them. Crowley and Aziraphale look at each other, their eyes exchanging an agreement between the two of them.

‘’So, do we watch them and meet again to compare notes?’’ Crowley asks.

‘’Yes, let’s do that. Maybe next week at the bookshop?’’

‘’Deal.’’

With a new arrangement put in place, the angel and demon split up and go back to their residence, followed by their respective warden. The next few days pass slowly. There’s nothing much that changes since Steel and Rexiel’s arrival. Being followed around is still just as troublesome, but they tolerate it.

One day, Aziraphale gets peckish and decides to go back to the bakery to pick something up. Of course, Rexiel invites himself on the errand.

‘’—So I talked to our supervisor, Keribell, and she said that they couldn’t find the document JW-0342 that Ariel told me to find. In fact, it seemed like it didn’t even exist! Ariel was sure it was with us, but it turns out the document did exist, but it was archangel Micheal who possess it, not HR!’’

Aziraphale pretends to be listening as Rexiel laughs at his own story. They were almost there, he could see the shop on the other side of the street. He stops at a crossing section as he waits for the light to turn green for him, when he notices something strange.

He’s expecting Rexiel to stop by his side and continue his story about a lost file, or even to hear his amused chuckle, but he doesn’t hear anything. In fact, he’s not even standing beside Aziraphale. As he looks behind, he sees that Rexiel has stopped in front of another shop’s window.

Aziraphale walks back and looks at what Rexiel is staring at. It’s a jewelry store. There’s a display of beautiful rings and necklaces behind the window, all intricatly made with precious stones. Rexiel doesn’t seem to have noticed the principality approach him as he looks at the display.

‘’Is everything alright?’’ Aziraphale asks. Rexiel blinks in surprise and looks back at him.

‘’Yes, everything is fine.’’ Rexiel smiles, embarrassed. ‘’Thank you for waiting for me.’’

They cross the street together and arrive at the bakery, this time Rexiel doesn’t say a word for once. After a few minutes, they walk back toward the bookshop, with Aziraphale holding a bag containing a cinnamon roll inside of it.

They pass the jewelry store again, and this time Aziraphale keeps an eye on Rexiel. Sure enough, the taller angel is once again distracted by the display window and stops in front of it. Now intrigued, Aziraphale stands beside Rexiel and says, ‘’They are beautiful, aren’t they?’’

Rexiel turns back to Aziraphale and blushes—actually blushes—when he is once again caught. ‘’I… I have to admit the craftsmanship are quite nice on these ones.’’

‘’Do they let angels wear jewelry in Heaven’s HR department?’’

Rexiel's eyes widens. ‘’Of course not, it’s against dress code!’’ He says scandalised, ‘’No human made objects can be worn, no matter what department you are in.’’

Despite this vocal objection, Rexiel’s eyes drift back to the jewelry display. There’s definitely something left unsaid in this action. That’s when Aziraphale gets an idea.

‘’Well, why don’t I buy you some jewelry of your own?’’

Rexiel is taken aback by the proposition. ‘’Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly ask you to spend human money on me.’’

‘’Nonsense.’’ Aziraphale shakes his head and smiles. ‘’I’ve been meaning to buy something there for quite some time, and since you have to come inside to monitor me, we might as well find something for you.’’

The other angel looks at Aziraphale, then back at the window as he bites his lips. ‘’Well, it’s true I do have to watch you… Maybe I could just come inside to take a peak.’’

They end up with a few good finds. Aziraphale buys a wrist watch for himself. As for Rexiel, his eyes end up on a pair of teardrop golden earrings and a pearl necklace. Aziraphale asks the shop clerk if they can try them, and he agrees. Aziraphale watches Rexiel’s expression when he looks himself into the mirror. He smiles as he admires himself in the reflection, not one of his fake service smiles he puts on to look nice, but a genuine smile that reaches the eyes.

Rexiel looks happy.

Aziraphale realizes that’s not the first time the other angel has been interested in something like this. Many times, he’s seen Rexiel touch and stare at anything that was shiny, like Aziraphale’s pocket watch, or his reading glasses. 

Rexiel loves things that reflect the light, Aziraphale notes.

They walk out with their purchases and talk on the way back to the bookshop.

‘’It’s impressive how dexterous humans can be!’’ Rexiel says excitedly. ‘’Just the way they cut precious stones is incredible !’’

‘’Yes, humans are full of surprises.’’ Aziraphale agrees. ‘’I felt just like you when I witnessed all the beautiful things they can do.’’

Rexiel nods. ‘’And they are so precise too. Oh, that makes me think, I should probably write this excursion down in my notes.’’ He then takes out his notebook and scribbles something in it.

‘’You should probably leave out the fact you are wearing human made jewelry. Wouldn’t want you to be reprimanded or demoted for it.’’ 

‘’Of course.’’ Rexiel gives him a thumbs up before returning to his notes.

That’s when Aziraphale notices something strange on Rexiel’s left hand. There’s a silver ring with a ruby embedded in it on his middle finger. It’s a nice looking ring, but Aziraphale doesn’t remember buying that.

After a moment, he realizes with mute horror that the ring hasn’t been bought, it’s been stolen. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, but he performs a small miracle when Rexiel isn’t looking, and the precious ring turns into a cheap plastic one, as the original has been returned to the store. He holds his breath in for a moment until he is sure that Rexiel hasn’t noticed the change. The plastic ring doesn’t resemble the one previously stolen, the stone embedded in it is green instead of red, but it’ll have to do for now.

He can’t believe his eyes, an angel who likes shiny things and steals? Whether or not the theft was done consciously, this is something that Heaven wouldn’t approve of if they were to find out. 

But Aziraphale doesn’t say anything to Rexiel about his behavior. Despite the panic, he also feels strangely excited by this turn of event. Could this be a sign? He’s known for a long time that he was different compared to other angels. He’s not perfect like his past superiors expected of him. He accepts that he is imperfect, that he is an angel who enjoys eating fine meals and collecting books, because that’s what makes him happy. But maybe he’s not the only one who is imperfect. Maybe there are more angels like him, like Rexiel, who are good but—in Crowley’s words—are just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

Chapter Text

It’s been five days since Crowley saw Aziraphale at the park. He tries to know more about Steel in the meantime, but other than giving witty one-liners and complaining, he doesn’t learn much from him. One of the ways he’s been trying to find more information on who Steel is as an individual is to watch TV together. He read somewhere online that a certain genre of movies or TV shows can tell a lot about a person.

What he comes to learn through that method is that Steel is ruining television for him.

They would watch an episode of a tv show together, then halfway through the episode, Steel tries to deduce how the episode ends. The worst part is that he’s been ninety per cent right on his predictions so far. It doesn’t matter which genre it is—romance, comedy, action, drama—he always makes a deduction on the ending of the episode. It’s starting to get on Crowley’s nerves.

Today, it’s a movie that’s playing on the screen, a murder mystery to be exact. Crowley is sprawling on his throne, and since there’s not much place to sit, Steel has taken a seat on top of Crowley’s desk. There was an argument the first time they sat to watch TV, but Steel’s been insistent and Crowley got tired of it and gave up.

They are halfway through and at a very good part of the investigation when Steel says, ‘’Mr. Klean did it.’’

Crowley throws his head backward and groans. ‘’For fuck’s sake, can you stop with that?’’

‘’With what? It’s obviously Mr. Klean.’’

‘’With your whole deduction thing, it ruins the experience of watching TV. How are you even sure it’s Klean? The whole point of a murder mystery is that you don’t truly know who did it until the end.’’

Steel glares back at Crowley and says, ‘’The whole movie has been trying to put the focus on other suspects since the start other than him and one other character, the butler. If we forget the whole romantic subplot that’s only there to fill the story, Klean has the biggest motive out of all of them, he’s the victim’s work partner and their company lost a lot of sponsors because of the victim's mistake.’’ He looks back at the screen and gestures towards it. ‘’He’s there for revenge, he knows the house well since he comes there often, knows where the knives are stached and slit the guy’s throat.’’

‘’He also have a good alibi.’’ Crowley says pointedly. ‘’He was in the second floor bathroom when it happened and someone saw him walk out of it.’’

Steel snorts, ‘’Just because someone has a good alibi doesn’t mean they're out of the investigation yet. Sure there are some suspects with shoddier alibis, but there are other reasons someone would want to hide their true activities at the time of the murder: affairs, taking a phone call, stealing, or even just the fact they are aware of how close they were from the murder scene and fear they would be pinned down as the murderer while they are innocent.’’

‘’Then how the fuck could he both be in the bathroom and in the garden where the murder happened?’’ Crowley growls back at him.

‘’The first clue they found, the footprints in the dirt near the wall of the building. The second clue was a red herring that led to Camille, but she said she took a phone call outside. The people watching the movie could think that’s why there are footprints, but the detective isn’t sure. I’m pretty certain it’s gonna be a stupid reason, but I bet you that Klean has some sort of gymnastic ability that lets him climb walls, and the bathroom is a good place to get rid of evidence, like blood.’’

An hour later, the movie proves Steel right. Crowley blinks and is astounded with how much he actually got right. The detective on screen arrests Mr. Klean and brings him to justice while also getting the girl.

‘’How?’’ Is all Crowley is able to say.

‘’That’s what I don’t like about that kind of human entertainment, it’s so predictable.’’ Once again, Steel starts another one of his whining rants. ‘’It’s just bigwig showbiz recycling the same ideas over and over instead of giving something interesting. Seriously, I’m wondering if that studio is actually able to write a good mystery.’’

Crowley sighs and is about to pick the remote up before he stops mid air. He registers Steel’s words in his head for a second. Then, he turns the TV off and stands up. ‘’Alright, I’ve got enough.’’

Steel furrows his eyebrows as he watches Crowley walk to his coat hanger and puts on his jacket. ‘’Where the hell are you going like that?’’

‘’ We are going out.’’

Steel stands up as well and walks toward the Serpent, ‘’ We ? Did you finally accept your fate enough to include me into your afternoon walks? I’m flattered.’’

‘’You said it yourself, there’s not a good enough murder mystery on TV for you to appreciate.’’ He says with a grin. ‘’So if it’s a good mystery you want, why don’t you solve one yourself?’’

With the snap of a finger their surroundings change quickly, Crowley’s spacious living room becomes smaller and smaller until the two demons are cramped inside what seems to be a broom closet.

‘’Crowley, what did you do?’’ Steel says with a warning tone.

‘’You’ll see.’’ Crowley opens the closet door and they walk out. 

From the looks of it, they are in a small hallway, the kind you would typically see in an English suburban house, with photographs on the wall and other decorations. They can hear people talking from a nearby room. Crowley walks towards the noise, and Steel follows carefully.

They end up in the living room. It looks nice, or at least it used to look nice. There are protective plastic sheets on some of the furniture around and a few yellow marqueurs with numbers on them surround the scene. A few people are standing around the room, some are wearing gloves and white protective suits, while two are dressed in police uniforms. But what really steals the show is the dead body laying on the ground in a pile of its own blood, face down.

‘’What the fuck, Crowley? You brought us to a crime scene!?’’ Steel’s eye goes wide

‘’What? I thought you would appreciate the real thing.’’

‘’Not like that! We shouldn’t be here!’’

‘’Hey!’’ One of the police officers spots the two and walks towards them. ‘’You can’t be here, this is an active investigation.’’

Crowley snaps his fingers once again and everyone stops in their tracks. Their eyes are vacant as Crowley puts a hand on the other demon’s shoulder. ‘’Everyone, this is Detective Steel! He’s here to help you solve this mystery. If he asks you a question concerning the murder, you tell him what you know.’’

The police officers and the forensics blinks all at once before returning back to work, ignoring the two demons standing at the entrance of the living room.

‘’What are you trying to do with this?’’ Steel looks at Crowley suspiciously.

‘’I’m giving you the opportunity to solve a murder like in the movie, what else?’’ 

‘’There's a difference between fiction and reality, Crowley, and those two things shouldn’t be mixed. Besides, I’m pretty sure I need a permit for that.’’

‘’You looked so confident in solving a fake murder, I’m just seeing if you can do it for real. And you do have a permit now.’’Steel blinks and puts his hand in one of his trench coat pockets. He pulls out a card out of it, which says ‘Detective Steel, police investigator’. Crowley takes a step back to give him more space. ‘’The floor is yours, ‘Detective’. Unless this is too much for you?’’

Steel stares at Crowley before looking back at the crime scene. For a moment, Crowley thinks he’s actually going to give up, never admitting that all his big talks about TV shows and making himself look clever was just for show. Then, Steel closes his eye and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t need to breathe, but the action seems to calm his nerves just a bit. 

‘’Okay.’’ He opens back his eye and walks to one of the officers. ‘’Give me a rundown of what happened here.’’

The officer nods, ‘’The victim’s name was Arthur Dodger. Our experts say he was murdered last night between 10 PM and midnight. The victim died from a hit to the back of the head, but cuts could also be found. The murder weapon must be something hard enough to break the skin, or something sharp that isn’t a knife, but we didn’t find it anywhere on the property.’’

Steel takes out a notepad and starts writing on it. ‘’And who found the victim first?’’

‘’Arthur’s girlfirend, Natasha. They don’t live together, but she has a key to the house. She’s currently at the police station giving her statement, but she’s currently on our list of suspects.’’

‘’I see. Is there anything else that’s been found on the crime scene?’’

‘’I’m not sure… Maybe the forensics would know.’’

‘’Good, thanks.’’ Steel walks toward one of the forensics, but stops in his tracks as he gets a closer look at the body. His face gets a bit green and he turns his eye away from the victim.

Crowley says, ‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’Wow, this is a bit aweful, isn’t it?’’

‘’Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a bit of blood.’’

‘’It’s not a little that’s the problem.’’ Steel growls before turning his attention to a woman writing something down. ‘’What is forensic picking up so far?’’

The woman stops writing and turns to speak to Steel. ‘’The victim possibly died between 10 PM and midnight. The victim died—’’

‘’Yeah, I know all of that.’’ Steel cuts her. ‘’What I want to know is if you’ve found anything weird around here. Any detail would help.’’

‘’There’s not a lot but…’’ She takes a moment to think. ‘’Do you see the blood around the victim?’’

‘’Uh, I try not to.’’ Steel replies.

‘’Well, it’s strange, it doesn’t have the same consistency that blood should have. It’s more…granular, as if someone accidentally let some sand fall into the puddle. We’ve taken a sample for the lab, but we won’t be sure about what it is for a while.’’

‘’Weird blood, huh?’’ Steel strocks his chin pensively.

And the investigation continues on like this, Crowley follows Steel around all day as he inspects the surroundings for clues and gathering information from the people around. He even teleports them to the police station at one point to talk to the current suspects, going over the alibis of everyone the police have interrogated so far, even asking around if Artur had any enemies.

Crowley never thought he would see this side of Steel. He’s like a completely different demon now, focused, listening to everything and writing his observations in his pad. Crowley admits to himself that he’s actually a bit impressed with how good the other demon is. He wonders if it’s something that comes from working in the Espionnage department—he could see it, gathering evidence and information from the enemy back to Hell—or if this could be coming from something else.

Steel teleports them once again, this time they are at Arthur’s desk at his place of work.

‘’There’s just something that doesn’t add up.’’ Steel says. ‘’A lot of things point toward Natasha being the murderer, but the motive the police are thinking about doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t make any sense.’’

‘’And you think we’ll find something at his workplace?’’ Crowley asks as he watches the other starting to open drawers.

‘’We might as well try, if there’s nothing else back at home, maybe something here would give us a clue. Some of the people that were suspected works with him or are friends that knows where he works.’’

Crowley half heartedly looks around the empty office as he lets Steel search. Something shines in the corner of his vision and he turns his head. There’s a picture frame on top of the desk. Crowley picks it up and looks at it. It’s a photo of Arthur and Natasha together. They seem to be sitting inside a room together and they look… happy.

‘’It would be difficult to believe that the girlfriend might want to hurt him.’’ Crowley says. Steel closes the last drawer and stands up, looking at the picture Crowley is holding.

‘’Yeah… wait.’’ Steel takes the picture frame from Crowley’s hand and teleports them once again to the victim’s living room. The body and the police are no longer there, but the blood is still staining the floor and there’s yellow tape at every entrance. ‘’That picture looks like it’s been taken in this room, but something isn’t right.’’

Steel seems to be correct as Crowley looks around the room then back to the picture. The photo is of the couple sitting in the living room.

‘’I don’t get it.’’ Crowley squints his eyes at the photo again.

‘’Well, everything in this room seem to be matching what’s in the picture, except for one thing.’’ Steel points to something in the photo. It’s a nice black and white vase sitting on a coffee table near the entrance of the living room. ‘’Where did that vase go?’’

Crowley looks up at the coffee table, only to find the vase missing.

‘’You think the vase was the murder weapon?’’

‘’I know it’s the murder weapon.’’ Steel precise. ‘’The murderer could have taken it and smashed it behind Arthur’s head. The vase breaks, creating the cuts behind his neck that killed him. The dust coming from it must be what’s making the blood look grainy.’’

‘’Then, where is the vase.’’ Crowley asks. 

‘’The perp must have taken it with them. Maybe they didn’t wear gloves and didn’t want their DNA on the crime scene.’’ Steel takes out his Nokia and taps a phone number on it.

‘’What are you doing now?’’

‘’It’s a far fetched idea, but I have a hunch. Something’s been bothering me for a while.’’

The phone rings for a moment before someone answers. ‘’Um, hello? Who is it?’’

‘’Officer, it’s Detective Steel. Can you tell me the alibi of one of the suspects again? The name’s Fred McRory, he had a nasty fight with the victim before the day of the murder.’’

The unsure tone of the police officer changes to something more sure, like when he talked to Steel previously. ‘’Of course, Mr. McRory said he was with his mother that night, she lives in Upton Park, Newham.’’

‘’Okay. Did you ask—’’

‘’We did ask Mrs. McRory to validate the alibi and she confirmed that Mr. McRory was indeed at her place and had dinner together.’’

‘’Okay, thanks for nothing.’’ Steel hangs up on the officer and types a new number, Crowley wonders what he’s trying to do with all of this.

The phone rings again and someone answers it, this time the voice sounds more frail and feminine. ‘’Hello? Who is it?’’

‘’Hi, Mrs. McRory?’’ Steel answers softly this time to match the old lady on the phone. ‘’This is Detective Steel from the LPD. I just have a few questions to ask you.’’ 

‘’Oh, but I’ve already given my statement about the whole affair.’’

‘’I know, I’m sorry but one of our rookies over here didn’t put down your statement to paper, I’m just calling to make sure the information we have is correct, is that alright?’’

‘’I… Of course that’s alright dear.’’

‘’Great. You said your son was with you on the night of the murder, that right?’’

‘’Yes, he often comes to visit and have dinner with me. We often watch movies late at night or do puzzles until 11. He’s such an angel, my Fred. He wouldn’t hurt a soul.’’

Steel has a face saying he doubts that statement is true, but doesn’t want to be cussed by a granny on the phone. ‘’When did you had dinner that night, Mrs. McRory?’’

‘’Oh, around 7:30 I’d say.’’

‘’And did your son sleep at your house that night.’’

There’s a moment of hesitation on the phone. ‘’I believe so? I don’t think the officer asked me that question before.’’

Crowley looks at Steel, who gives him a knowing look before he turns back to the Nokia. ‘’You believe so?’’

‘’Well, Fred would always come to sleep at my house because we usually go to sleep around 11, but that night I went to sleep early, so I assume he did as well.’’

‘’When did you go to sleep, Mrs. McRory?’’

‘’I think around 8 or 9 PM?’’

‘’And who cooked dinner that night?’’

‘’What?... Well, Fred did. I usually cook when he comes over, but he insisted on making it. He’s such a good boy, isn’t he?’’

‘’Thank you Mrs. McRory, that’s all we needed to know. Have a nice afternoon.’’ Steel hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket.

‘’What did you get from doing that?’’ Crowley tilts his head.

‘’She said she’s usually the on making dinner, but that night her son does it and suddenly she decide to go to sleep earlier than usual?’’ Steel raises an eyebrow. ‘’There’s something fishy in all of this.’’

‘’Wait, are you saying that—’’

‘’The son drugged her to get an alibi? Yeah, I do. And the hours would align with the estimated time of the murder too. Come on, Crowley, let’s visit our dear friend Fred.’’

‘’Alright, but we’re going with the Bentley. All those teleportation are making me sick.’’

Crowley summons his car, and fifteen minutes later they are in front of Fred McRory’s house. The two don’t bother knocking on the door as Crowley miracles it open for them. The car is in the entryway, but no one seems to be at home at the moment as all the lights are off. Still, they look around carefully just in case.

It’s Steel who eventually finds it. On a kitchen counter lies hundreds of small ceramic pieces in a pile, with a hammer left beside it. Crowley stands behind Steel and says, ‘’Is that it?’’

Steel makes a motion with his hands, and miraculously the pieces start to assemble themselves together until they form what used to be the black and white vase. He smiles, satisfied with himself, ‘’It is. He probably tried to get rid of it by breaking it into pieces tiny enough to be lost somewhere in someone’s trash can. It would have been too obvious to do it back at Arthur’s, someone might find it.’’

Crowley hears a faint sound from behind him and he turns around, but there’s nothing. He sniffs the air for a moment before he frowns. ‘’Hey, Steel, I think we’ve got company.’’

Just as he says that, they hear the front door slam open before they hear the hurried footsteps outside of the house.

‘’That was him, wasn’t it?’’ Steel asks, deadpan.

‘’Yep.’’ Crowley emphasizes on the ‘p’. ‘’He probably hid upstairs when he heard us come in.’’

‘’Goddamnit.’’ Steel swears before he runs toward the front door in pursuit of McRory, Crowley is not too far behind him.

It doesn’t take long before they catch him. They are in a suburban part of London, so there are no crowds to be lost into or many places to run to other than his car, which is exactly what happens. But Steel isn’t a human being, he can be much faster and stronger than one, so it’s rather easy for him to take down McRory. Crowley calls the police while Steel restrains him. When the cops arrive on the scene, they leave McRory with them and explain what other evidences they found before they jump back into the Bentley and drive back home.

For a minute or two, the two don't say much to each other, only the voice of Freddie Mercury fills the space of the car. Crowley turns the music down and looks at  the shorter demon. ‘’I guess you proved me wrong today, you were actually able to solve a real case.’’

Steel looks nervous for a moment—probably because Crowley isn’t watching the road—before he smiles. ‘’Of course, I did. I’m pretty great at things that make me use my head. Sure, it was hard, but it was great.’’

‘’You don’t say.’’ Crowley turns his head back to the road but he keeps an eye on Steel when he says. ‘’Wasn’t very demonic of you, was it?’’

‘’...What?’’ Steel’s face falls a bit.

‘’I mean, you helped the police solve a murder to prove me wrong, but it would have been more evil to just not help at all, or worse you could have pointed them in the wrong direction, accusing an innocent and let McRory go free. But you didn’t do that…Why?’’

Steel’s mouth opens and closes for a second before he huffs. ‘’I knew that!’’ His voice cracks a bit. ‘’But I wouldn’t have really solved the mystery if I didn’t catch the actual murderer, would I? Anyway, the guy is going to suffer a lot now. He’s going to rot in prison on Earth, then rot in a pit somewhere in Hell, that’s totally evil!’’

‘’If you say so.’’ Crowley expected him to be defensive at that comment. Any demon worth their penny would react like that. He knows he would too. ‘’In any case, you did great today. You can be proud of what you accomplished.”

Steel turns his head away from Crowley and pouts, ‘’Yeah, sure.’’

The rest of the ride back to his flat is done in silence, and even when they are back Steel doesn’t attempt to rant or complain about something. Crowley thinks about what happened today. What was just meant to be a joke turned into something that Steel actually took seriously, knowing full well that this action wasn’t purely evil. Can this demon also have an ounce of good deep down?

Chapter Text

Two days later, Crowley and Steel arrive at the bookshop in the afternoon. The doorbell rings as they enter. The first person they see is actually Rexiel, who is sitting in a corner reading a book. They hear footsteps shortly after as Aziraphale walks from the back room of the shop.

‘’Crowley, glad to see you.’’ Aziraphale looks better than the last time the Serpent saw him, looking more rested and not as anxious.

‘’Sup, angel. What’s the wine of the day?’’

‘’Oh, I thought maybe we could open a Chianti today. After you.’’ Crowley starts to walk toward the backroom, but Aziraphale steps in front of Steel when he tries to follow as well. ‘’Sorry dear, but could you stay in here for a moment? I’m afraid I need to talk with Crowley in private.’’

The shorter demon scowls. ‘’What, you think I’m just going to let the two of you talk while my back is turned? No, there’s no way I’m letting you do that. This smells fishy.’’

Before Aziraphale can try anything to appease the demon’s conscience, he is unexpectedly saved by Rexiel, who approaches him. ‘’Steel, just the lady I wanted to see. I was wondering if it was alright with you if we could compare our notes.’’

‘’I-I don’t really—’’

‘’I can start if you want. So when it comes to Aziraphale’s usual routine, there’s not much of note here, but it’s interesting how much he indulges in human pleasures. Does Crowley do that as well? Or does he—’’

Steel blinks confusely as Rexiel is going on a rant about what he and Aziraphale did that week item for item. He’s so enthralled by the angel’s capability to talk like that he doesn’t notice Crowley and Aziraphale quietly slip in the back of the shop.

Crowley sighs in his seat as Aziraphale fills his glass of wine and gives each other a cheer. The demon loves this place, not just because it’s Aziraphale’s place, but it’s where he feels the most at ease. Funny how he feels more at home in the backroom of the angel’s bookshop than in his own flat.

‘’So.’’ Aziraphale says after taking a sip. ‘’How has it been so far with Steel? Did you find anything interesting?’’

‘’He’s as whiny as ever, but I think I found something very interesting.’’ Crowley leans forward, ready to metaphorically spill the tea—as Aziraphale would be very cross if he actually spilled tea on his carpet. ‘’Steel’s actually pretty smart. He’s very good at investigating things and he has natural deduction skills. He always kept guessing the ending of TV shows right, so I tried to see what would happen if I put him in the middle of a real murder investigation, and guess what? He actually helped the police catch the murderer.’’

Aziraphale puts a hand on his chest, pleasantly surprised. ‘’My, that’s very good of him.’’

‘’That’s what I said! Demons aren’t supposed to be good, but he did something good without even questioning it.’’

‘’Actually.’’ Aziraphale interjects. ‘’I think something similar happened with me and Rexiel just the other day.’’

‘’Oh?’’ Crowley raises an eyebrow.

‘’We went to the jewelry store, he seems to have taken a fancy to nice accessories. So I bought him a few things, a necklace and a pair of earrings, but when we walked out he also had a ring on him. I-I think he stole it.’’

Crowley’s glasses almost fall off of his face with how surprised he gets. ‘’He what?!’’

‘’I don’t think he’s aware he did that.’’ The angel tries to correct nervously. ‘’I did exchange the stolen one for a plastic ring and he didn’t even react when I did that.’’

‘’Even so, that's… bad. Very bad for an angel to do that .’’

‘’I know.’’ Aziraphale whines

Crowley leans back with a dreamy smile. ‘’Huh, can you imagine? A good demon and a bastard angel that aren’t us?’’

‘’Yes, that’s what I’ve been wondering in the past few days.’’ The principality looks down at his drink and frowns. ‘’What if there are actually more people like us out there? Angels that aren’t completly good, and demons that aren’t completely evil. The only thing that troubles me is that I don’t know why I didn’t even think that I wasn’t the only exception?’’

‘’...Do you want to know what I think?’’ Aziraphale looks back at Crowley. The demon has taken off his sunglasses and looks at the angel pensively. ‘’Maybe the reason stopping them from being their true selves is because of their respective higher ups. In Heaven, if you do something bad you either get reprimanded at best, or you suffer the fall at worst. In Hell, if you do one single nice thing, you get tortured for a year as punishement. And if you’re too good, well, you get to have a bath of holy water like I did. The fear of being punished is enough to keep them in line.’’

It’s a thought that plagues Aziraphale’s mind as well. The only reason why he and Crowley ever met in the first place is because they have been put on Earth as their respective office’s representative. A role like that one offered them more space to spread their wings, to make their own choices without always being scrutinised by their bosses. Now that they are free of their influences, they are closer to humanity than they’ve ever been in the past.

He reminds himself why he asked Crowley to come with him to the art gallery before their plan went pear shaped. Now would be a good time to talk about it as they have a moment for themselves.

‘’Crowley. I’ve been wondering—’’ But before he could continue, Crowley shushes him and turns his head towards the door. That mildly irritates the angel as he says, ‘’Why are you shushing me for?’’

‘’Did you hear that?’’ Crowley says as he slowly stands up from his seat. He quietly walks toward the door and gestures to Aziraphale to do the same. Now curious and slightly worried, the angel joins him by the door as he opens it just enough for them to see what’s on the other side.

As expected, they see Rexiel and Steel talk to each other, showing their notes to one another. Their backs are turned so they do not notice Crowley and Aziraphale spying on them. For a moment, everything seemed normal. Steel finally decided to answer to Rexiel’s insistent attempts at making conversation, which Aziraphales believe is what Crowley initially heard.

But then, Steel turns to Rexiel and says, ‘’Um, the earrings are new, right? You didn’t have them last time.’’

‘’Hmm?’’ Rexiel blinks at the demon before a small smile. ‘’Why, yes they are new. Aziraphale bought them for me a few days ago since I don’t have human money.’’

Steel nods as he rubs one of his arms. ‘’That’s nice… They look good on you, by the way.’’

Rexiel’s eyebrows rise up as he looks delighted by the compliment. ‘’Oh, thank you, how kind of you to say.’’ He gives him a wink and Steel gags right after as he seems to realize that he said something nice to someone, an angel nonetheless. ‘’Tell me, how have things been so far with Crowley?’’

Steel sighs, ‘’As good as things can get when watching someone like him. He’s just… I don’t know what’s the reason behind everything he does, and it’s so annoying! Like, the other day, we watched a movie and it was a murder mystery. When I, uh, gave some important arguments about the movie, he just gets up and takes us to an actual crime scene!’’

‘’How gruesome.’’ the angel replies.

‘’Yeah, he even dared me to solve it, just because I told him how the movie would end. I mean, how am I supposed to react to that? It’s not my fault the movie was predictable.’’

‘’So, did you?’’

‘’Did I what?’’

‘’Solve the real murder.’’

‘’Of course, I did.’’ Steel smirks. ‘’I even catched the perp and everything. Crowley ate back his words pretty quickly after that one.’’

‘’My, that is impressive.’’ Rexiel smiles even wider with interest. 

Steel rubs the back of his neck. ‘’I mean, yeah. I’m pretty good at that, I guess.’’

‘’Not just good, I think this is incredible.’’ Rexiel’s voice softens as he leans his face closer to the demon. ‘’For someone who’s only been on Earth for a few days, successfully solving a crime for the first time is something I find admirable.’’

‘’I-I, yeah, it’s pretty… pretty…’’ Steel flusters and turns his face away to hide his embarrassement. Crowley and Aziraphale see Rexiel chuckles, and it sounds almost fond to their great surprise. 

Crowley closes the door quietly once again, before turning to the principality. ‘’Am I the only one seeing that?’’

‘’No, you’re definitely not the only one.’’ Aziraphale says.

‘’You’re an angel, can you feel if they have a crush on each other?’’

Aziraphale presses his lips together thoughtfully. ‘’I don’t know, I didn’t feel anything. I don’t think I can even feel love coming from other angels or demons, I’ve only ever felt the love of humans in the past.’’

Of course he can’t, Crowley thought, if he did he would have known his sentiment for the angel a long time ago. He sighs, ‘’Well, the fact they only met each other last week means those feelings are recent. They probably don't know they love each other yet, but they are definitely attracted to one another… Aziraphale, I have an idea.’’

‘’Really? What is it?’’

‘’Maybe all it takes for them to get off our backs is to make them realize how they feel for each other. We could give them a little nudge in that direction.’’

It takes a few seconds for Aziraphale to process before his eyes go wide and he gasps. ‘’Crowley, are you proposing that we—’’

‘’Play matchmaker? Oh yeah.’’ Crowley nods with a corner smile. ‘’Think about it, it wouldn’t take much, just a few suggestions and hop they go. It’s not like our head offices would notice it, it took them six thousand years for them to suspect we were friends. Steel and Rex will be too busy with each other to bother us anymore.’’

Aziraphale bites his lips at the proposal. He looks at the closed door for a moment—they can still hear the muffled conversation of the two entities in the other room—before shaking his head. ‘’No, out of the question.’’

‘’Why not?’’

‘’It’s not a good idea to meddle in things concerning love.’’ Aziraphale rationalizes. ‘’You can’t force those kinds of things onto people, it has to come naturally. And maybe they don’t have feelings for each other that way, maybe they’re just being amicable.’’

Crowley stares at him skeptically. ‘’Amicable? Really? Have you ever met a pair of friends who acted like that around each other—’’

‘’Of course, I—’’

‘’— and stayed platonic?’’

‘’...Maybe not as often.’’ The angel admits with a blush. ‘’I still think it’s a bad idea. What if we only make things worse for them?’’

‘’Do you have a better plan?’’ Crowley asks.

‘’...Why don’t we make them fall in love with Earth instead?’’ Aziraphale says after a while. Crowley, intrigued, gestures with his head for him to continue. ‘’The reason why we stopped Armaggedon from happening is because this place is our home. Maybe if we could show them what the world and humanity has to offer, and get attached to it like we did, they would understand better why we acted against Hell and Heaven. We would be able to have a reasonable chat with them and maybe convince them to give us some space.’’

Crowley nods, weighing the options in front of them. ‘’You do have a good point, but I have a counter-offer to that.’’

‘’What is it?’’

‘’Why not both?’’

Aziraphale blinks. ‘’Both?’’

‘’Both. We could merge our plans together to have a better chance of success. We’ll make them explore some of the opportunities there are on Earth, and arrange one date for them in secret to see if they could work. Not even need to call it a date, they could just ‘hang out’ together and get to know each other without us being around.’’

Aziraphale twist the ring on his pinky and says, ‘’Maybe that could work… but how are we going to be doing that?’’

‘’The only way I know how.’’ Crowley grins. ‘’With a bit of trickery and a lot of alcohol.’’

Chapter Text

The Principality and the Serpent drink a few more glasses of wine and devise a plan together to show Steel and Rexiel the wonders of the human world as well as finding a situation where they could find out about their feelings for the other, whether these feelings are romantic or not. They are proud of what they got by the end of the drinking session, but they decided to wait a few days before putting their plan into motion.

So on Friday, Crowley walks to Steel, who is playing solitaire on his Nokia again—Can you even play solitaire on a phone so old—and asks, ‘’Have you ever been to an Italian restaurant?’’

‘’What?’’ Steel stares at him with a confused look. ‘’I guess not… Why?’’

Crowley shrugs. ‘’It’s been a few weeks since you’ve been on Earth, and since you’re always following me around I thought maybe I should make you visit a few places.’’

The shorter demon raises an eyebrow at him before he stands up. ‘’Sure, why not. Where are we going?’’

‘’It’s a place not too far from here. Nice atmosphere, a bit fancy, but I’ve heard the pasta there is good. However, before we go, we have to do something about all of that.’’ Crowley gestures up and down to Steel’s dirty attire.

‘’What the hell is wrong with me clothes?’’ Steel growls.

‘’They’re not going to let you in if you’re wearing that. You need to at least look presentable.’’

Steel crosses his arms and huffs, ‘’Well, too bad, they’re going to have to deal with it. I’ll wear whatever I want.’’

Crowley pinches the bridges of his noses. ‘’You look like a wet stray cat right now.’’

‘’Thanks, that was the point, genius .’’

‘’You know what? I know a store with stylish clothing lines that might be your style. At least you’ll look cleaner.’’

‘’And what makes you think I would ever go there?’’

‘’Because it’s your job to follow me around, isn’t it? Making sure I don’t plan any coup against the hierarchy of Hell and all that. Would look very bad to Beelzebub if ze knew you let me out of your sight because you didn’t want to go shopping with me.’’ 

Crowley smirks as he watches a vein pop out of Steel’s forehead in annoyance. After a silent moment he says, ‘’Fine! I’ll go to the clothes store with you, but it better be good.’’

Begrudgingly, Steel follows Crowley to not just one but many stores to try different looks and outfits. Crowley has to admit that it’s an arduous process of finding both something that’s the other’s taste and that would be good enough for the kind of restaurant he thought of bringing him to.

Finally, after a few hours of searching, Steel comes out of the fitting room with the final outfit and looks at himself in the mirror pleasantly surprised. ‘’Huh, You know what? That fit looks good on me.’’

‘’Good.’’ Crowley says relieved, ‘’Then let’s buy that. It’ll be your outfit for the restaurant.’’ And with that, he drives Steel back to his flat and finishes preparing him for the next stage of his ‘devious’ plan.

On Aziraphale’s side, he just found the perfect activity to bring Rexiel on today. He walks to the other angel’s usual sitting corner in the bookshop—who’s currently holding last week’s newspaper and doing the crossword puzzle—and says, ‘’Oh, Rexiel, I was wondering if you would accompany me on an outing today. There’s a new exposition at the museum that I wanted to see and maybe you would appreciate as well.’’

Rexiel puts the crossword down on the table and smiles. ‘’Well, of course! It is my job to follow you around and making sure everything is in order after all, but I do like the thoughtfulness of telling me exactly where you plan to go.’’

‘’I thought you might say that.’’ Aziraphale says with a smile as the other angel stands up from his chair. ‘’There’s an exposition on human life in England in the 1800s. Since it hasn’t been long since you’ve been on Earth, I thought I would show you my favorite time period. It’s at the beginning of that century that I first opened my shop! After that, we could go to a restaurant. I know a very nice one that makes excellent pasta.’’

Rexiel's smile turns into a frown and his face gets paler than usual. ‘’Ah, a restaurant, yes. I won’t have to eat there, will I?’’ He doesn’t look as thrilled about their excursion as he was before.

‘’It is a restaurant. The point of it is to eat nice food.’’

‘’But food is a human thing, and we are angels. I know that you like to partake in those kind of activities, but I have standards .’’ Rexiel says in a condescending tone. Aziraphale isn’t surprised by his complete revulsion of food, it seems to be a pattern among most angels.

‘’You don’t have to eat if it’s making you uncomfortable, but I’m going to that restaurant tonight and I’m afraid you won’t have much of a choice but to follow me as well. I just hoped you could at least try, just to see how it is. I can assure you it’s not as bad as Heaven makes it sound.’’

Rexiel looks at Aziraphale with apprehension before he sighs. ‘’I’ll think about it.’’

They take a cab and ride to the museum without too much trouble. The exposition is small but nice. Aziraphale loves to explain every single artifact that is presented in the exposition and show how humans used them, how life used to look like on Earth only a few hundred years ago. Rexiel is an avid learner, and he nods with attention as he writes it inside his notebook.

When they finish with the exposition, they decide to walk around the museum to see what other displays there are. As they make their way from one wing of the building to another, Aziraphale clears his throat and asks, ‘’So, how has your first stay on Earth been so far, Rexiel? What did you like about it?’’

Rexiel looks surprised at the sudden question, so he crosses his arms and hums thoughtfully. ‘’It is pretty nice so far. To witness the Almighty’s creation from close is definitely an interesting experience. This place is cleaner than what I originally expected, although I am not a fan of the pollen, or horses.’’

‘’Horses?’’ Aziraphale asks curiously.

‘’I don’t know, there’s something about them that…’’ He presses his lips together and looks with wide eyes into the distance. ‘’Do not tell anyone I’ve said this about one of Her creations, but they are utterly terrifying.’’

Aziraphale puts a fist over his mouth and holds in a laugh. He didn’t mean to mock Rexiel, but the situation itself is a bit funny. ‘’That’s quite alright to not like horses. Crowley isn’t a fanatic of horses either, especially riding them.’’

‘’Wait, humans ride those things?’’ Rexiel’s face gets even paler, and Aziraphale is almost unable to contain himself. Almost.

It takes a moment for Aziraphale to regain his composure, and the two angels continue to explore the museum for another hour. Rexiel listens quietly as Aziraphale shares stories related to the items they pass by. It’s strange, the Principality thinks, it’s the longest he’s ever seen the tall angel go without talking as he’s completely absorbed in the history lesson.

Time goes by, they walk back to the museum entrance as it’s about to close. It’s almost time to go to the restaurant as well. Halfway through their walk, Rexiel turns his head to Aziraphale and asks, ‘’What about you?’’

Aziraphale tilts his head in confusion. ‘’What about me?’’

‘’You asked me earlier how my time on Earth has been so far and, to be frank with you, I’m curious. How has your time on Earth been for you?’’

‘’Well, I told you a lot about the things I did on Earth today, as well as in the past few weeks. I think you know more than most people how it’s been so far.’’

Rexiel shakes his head. ‘’No, not like that. Maybe… Maybe it would be more accurate to ask what it feels like to be on Earth for so long.’’ Aziraphale blinks at him. Rexiel absentmindedly plays with his pen between his fingers. ‘’You have been here since the start of it all. You are possibly the angel that knows the most about Her creations, but you lived on this planet as the sole celestial representative. How were you able to cope for all these years away from the Great Heavens?’’

Aziraphale wonders where this question is coming from. It doesn’t feel like Rexiel’s usual questions, this is more… existential. But he thinks about it for a moment. The other angel has been assigned to him for observation, but how long is his assignment supposed to be? It could last a few months to a few centuries knowing his previous higher ups. Is that what Rexiel is worried about? That after being surrounded by his kind for most of existence, he’ll be forced to be away from what he probably considers his home for a job?

It might not be the case, but this consideration influences what Aziraphale says next. ‘’This is a very interesting question, a complexe one too. I believe the simplest of answers would be company. I did feel very lonely and isolated the first few hundred years, but then I met people with who I shared my life with.’’

‘’Are you talking about Crowley?’’ Rexiel asks.

‘’Not just Crowely, humans too. Like angels, community is important for them. It’s very easy to make friends with them in my experience.’’

‘’But they do not live long.’’ Rexiel frowns. ‘’The lifespan of a human is almost a blink of an eye for us. Isn’t that just making you more lonely?’’

Aziraphale sighs melancolicaly. ‘’You are right, humans don’t live for long, but the moments you’ve spent with them do not disappear because they died. I’ve learned so much about what it means to be alive with them. They have a view on life that I’ll never be able to understand because they are mortal, and that strangely fascinates me. I don’t think about how their absence will leave a hole in me, I think of the memories where I wasn’t alone with them and I carry it in my next friendships in the future. I’m never truly lonely on Earth.’’

Rexiel looks at him for a moment and says, ‘’You have a very unique way of looking at the world. It must be nice.’’

‘’I suppose that’s true.’’ Aziraphale chuckles softly. ‘’I feel more like myself among humans. They’ve taught me so much more than Heaven ever will. Another thing that I admire is how humans use their free will. When I was Heaven’s representative, I learned that they have an immense amount of liberty, and they have equal opportunity to be more benevolent than angels and more cruel than demons. Most of the good in the world that Heaven takes credit for? Well, they were originally done by humans.’’

‘’... Is that why you betrayed Heaven and stopped Armaggedon?’’ Rexiel’s tone is soft and hesitant. The Principality takes a moment to think. He knows the answer to that question, but maybe it’s not appropriate to share it with the other angel just yet.

‘’I must admit there are more than one reason why I did that, but yes that’s one of the reasons. You might find it hard to believe, but Earth will always feel more like home than Heaven.’’

For a while, he thinks that Rexiel will answer something about how he would never be able to think like that, or something equally as ignorant and insensitive like he experienced with the Archangels once upon a time. Instead, he only whispers under his breath, ‘’Hmm, interesting.’’

Aziraphale wants to ask about what that means, but he looks at the time on his watch. If they continue to stay behind and talk like this they will be late for the second part of their plan. So he doesn’t say anything as they walk out of the museum. He calls a cab to pick them up and they go straight to the restaurant.

It takes about twenty minutes to arrive at their destination. The cab stops in front of the nice Italian restaurant. Rexiel is the first to get out of the vehicle, and he’s now wearing a different outfit than the one he previously had. Aziraphale told him this place was casually fancy and that he would blend in better if his clothes reflected the ambiance. So Rexiel miracled new clothes on himself in the car, thank goodness the driver didn’t notice.

The angel is wearing a flowy, long-sleeved, white shirt and thight cream colored pants. He wears the necklace and the earrings Aziraphale bought him. His face is covered with light makeup, a sharp eyeliner and sparkly yellow lipstick. A neat golden corset with flowery patterns hugs his middle, and he exchanges his usual dress shoes for white high heels. His handsome and extravagant appearance is enough to make a few head turns as people pass by.

Aziraphale exits the cab after him. He’s still wearing the same outfit he always wears on a daily basis, but reassures Rexiel that they are going to do.

Aziraphale turns to the other angel and asks, ‘’Can you go inside and wait for me? It’s just that I need to pay our cab for the drive, but I still want to have a place in line.’’

‘’Of course, I’ll wait for your arrival.’’ Rexiel says with a smile.

‘’Wonderful! Oh, and if they ask you if you have a reservation before I come back, just give them your name.’’

Rexiel nods before he makes his way toward the restaurant. He opens the front and a cool breeze of air blows on his face as the chatting and laughter of the people inside echoes into the night. 

The venue has a very warm atmosphere, the walls are decorated in a way that makes the room look Mediterranean. A savory smell floats in the air, it’s enough for anyone to feel their mouth water. He could hear the people talking in the restaurant, but he couldn't see them from the lobby.

In fact, there is only one other person in the lobby, and it’s not a waiter ready to ask for his reservation. He’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. The lady is wearing a purple turtleneck with a black leather jacket over his shoulders. His face is covered with black eyeshadow, eyeliner and purple lipstick. Finally, he wears a long dark purple skirt with black heels as well.

Rexiel has to rub his eyes a few times to believe who is standing before him. This is not the same demon he met a few weeks ago, this person is beautiful . If it wasn’t for his iconic eyepatch, he wouldn’t have recognized him.

‘’Steel? Is that you?’’

The demon turns his head quickly toward the angel and glares at him. ‘’Rex? What the fuck are doing here?’’

‘’I could ask you the same. What are you doing here all alone? Aren’t you supposed to keep an eye on Crowley?’’

Steel rolls his eye with a huff. ‘’He’s the one who dragged me here. I’m just waiting for him to come back. Something about finding somewhere to park his car.’’

‘’What a strange coincidence, Aziraphale also brought me here. He told me he wants me to try human food, but I’m not sure about it. He’s just outside paying our chauffeur.’’

‘’Wait, what—’’ 

Before Steel can say his sentence, the waiter appears from behind the wall and smiles. ‘’Good evening, gentlemen. Do you have a reservation?’’

Steel isn’t sure what to say. Crowley didn’t tell him what to do if that situation happened before he arrived. Luckily, the angel knows what to do for this.

‘’Good evening to you as well! I believe I do have a reservation, under the name of Rexiel?’’

The waiter looks down at their list for a moment and nods. ‘’Yes, we do have a reservation under that name. One table for Mr. Rexiel and Mr. Steel?’’ Steel choke on air and sputter incoherent words while Rexiel blush lightly. The waiter looks back at them confused. ‘’Is there a problem?’’

‘’Y-Yeah there’s a problem! I’m not—we’re not together. My name isn’t supposed to be on his reservation. I came with someone else.’’

‘’Oh, so sorry, it must be a mistake. Do you want us to rectify it?’’

Before Steel could answer, Rexiel says, ‘’No, that will be alright. We will take the table.’’

‘’Wait, what is that supposed to mean Rex?’’ Steel looks back at the angel with an annoyed scowl.

‘’I believe I know what is going on here.’’ he replies. ‘’I believe Aziraphale and Crowley are behind this deception. Perhaps to be able to have another private moment without us around.’’

‘’Of course, I should have known.’’ Steel sighs. ‘’Then we should just cancel and try to find them.’’

‘’Oh, absolutely not.’’

Steel blinks at Rexiel. ‘’Why not?’’

‘’Well, it would be rude to the staff of this lovely restaurant. Our seats could have been reserved for someone else and now it will sit empty if we go now. We might as well take it.’’ Rexiel says before putting a hand on the demon’s shoulder. ‘’Beside, this is a great opportunity to take a break and… get to know each other?’’

Rexiel’s voice turns husky at the last sentence, which sends a shiver through Steel’s spine. He’s speechless for a few seconds before he replies with a cracking voice, ‘’Sure, let’s do that.’’

The waiter looks at the two of them with wide eyes as they witness their conversation. ‘’...Okay, well, please follow me.’’

The strange duo follows the waiter into the dining room. The ambiance is livelier there. They are seated at their table and are given a menu each. They end up ordering some red wine, and Steel orders a plate of pasta carbonara for himself. What they don’t suspect is that Crowley and Aziraphale are observing them at another table from afar, wearing ridiculous disguises.

Aziraphale, who’s wearing a big sun hat and a long blond hair wig, asks, ‘’Do you really think it’s going to work?’’

‘’I don’t know.’’ Crowley says with a corner smile, wearing a fake mustach and a different black coat than he’s used to. ‘’But it’ll be fun to watch.’’

They stay several minutes looking at them. Steel is being served and is already digging in while Rexiel brings his glass of wine to his mouth. He doesn’t seem to be drinking from it, only wetting his lips to keep up appearances.

‘’Hmm!’’ Steel lets out a satisfied moan at the delicous pasta. His mouth is still full when he says to Rexiel, ‘’You g’tta try diff, is rea’y good.’’

‘’I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.’’ Rexiel puts his glasses down and wipes his lips with a napkin. ‘’I’m not really the kind of angel who eats, you know?’’

Steel swallows his bite and says more clearly this time. ‘’Oh, come on! You’re missing out on this.’’ He twirls his forks in his plat to gather some pasta on it and raises it in front of Rexiel. ‘’Just one bite? You can expel it from your body after that if it’s too much.’’

Rexiel looks down at the fork with uncertainty before looking back to Steel. The demon is smiling at him, his shoulders relaxed. He looks so gentle in that moment, and how can he say no to such a good temptation?

‘’Well, one bite wouldn’t hurt.’’ Rexiel sighs and smiles back. Steel brings the fork closer to him, but instead of taking it from his hand, the angel takes his wrist gently with both of his hands and lowers his head closer. He keeps eye contact with him even as his mouth closes around the warm and appetizing pasta. Rexiel backs away as he chews on them, closing his eyes and savoring it and unaware of how red Steel’s cheeks have gotten. After a long minute, he swallows and opens his eyes again. ‘’Hmmm, what a delight! You were right, dear, this is amazing.’’

‘’I-I-I…’’ Steel stutters, unable to give a coherent thought after this.

Crowley and Aziraphale are wide eyed as they witness the scene. Crowley then turns his head away and back to the Principality before he says, ‘’There’s definitely something there.’’

‘’You think so?’’ Aziraphale asks as he also turns back to Crowley.

‘’No angel would act like- like that with a demon! All charming and seductive! And Steel might be flustered, but he isn’t rejecting him so far.’’

‘’Yes, that’s…’’ Aziraphale looks at his hands with troubled eyes.

‘’What is it, angel? Is something wrong?’’ Crowley asks worriedly.

‘’This isn’t a good idea.’’

‘’Angel, you saw what I saw too. There’s no reason to worry they won’t work. They have chemistry.’’

‘’It’s not about whether or not they are compatible, it’s about their safety.’’ Aziraphale says firmly. ‘’Crowley, what will happen if they get caught?’’

‘’They won’t if they are careful.’’

‘’It’s not a story of if, it’s a story of when. Remember when we had to hide our friendship from our Head Offices? We were so scared of what would happen if we were found out. Maybe we no longer have to worry about spending time with each other anymore, but they are not free like us. What will happen to them if Gabriel and Beelzebub enter this restaurant right now? How will that reflect on them?’’

Crowley’s eyes widened behind his sunglasses. They look at each other, waiting to see who would crack first. After a minute of it, Crowley groans, ‘’You’re right. This is a very bad idea.’’

‘’Maybe we should go see them.’’ Aziraphale proposes. ‘’We could pretend something happened and it took us longer to arrive?’’

‘’Yep, good idea.’’ Crowley turns around and is about to sit up, but he stops in his tracks with a look of dread. ‘’Uuuh, Aziraphale?’’

‘’What? What is it?’’ The angel turns around to see what the other is looking at, and realizes what is wrong immediately.

The glasses of wine still full are sitting on the table, with an empty plate in the middle and a few pounds to pay for the dinner, but Steel and Rexiel are nowhere to be found.

‘’That’s not good, is it?’’ Crowley asks as both of their immortal hearts are seized with worry.

‘’No, it’s not.’’ Aziraphale says as he stands from his seat as well.

The both of them try to look around the restaurant to see if the two didn’t just wander off in the building, but they got no luck there. They decide to walk outside to see if they can see them, quickly giving up their disguises.

Aziraphale looks up and down the street in the hope he can find the two familiar faces around a corner. As for Crowley, he uses his sense of scent to find them. It’s difficult to find anything at first with all the different smells coming from the restaurant and the street at the same time. But then, he catches a whiff of something he knows.

Rexiel’s cologne-like smell.

He follows the smell for a little while until it turns straight into an alleyway not too far from where they were. ‘’Angel, I think they went this way.’’ Aziraphale quickly catches up to Crowley before they go through it.

The alleyway isn’t very long, but there are a lot of intersections that would make it hard to find anyone in it if you didn’t have Crowley’s keen nose. They walk slowly so that they don’t lose their trail. Then, they hear someone. Two someones in fact coming from the left. They can hear soft and quiet giggles from where the smell is leading Crowley, as well as a few… moans?

Crowley and Aziraphale look at each other before they hide behind a wall to peak into the alley. What they find is unexpected and surprises both of them.

There, in front of them, they see Steel pinned to the wall while Rexiel kisses him passionately. The two of them grips each other close in this intimate moment, as if pulling away meant the other would disappear into thin air. It takes everything for Aziraphale to not let out a sound as he witnesses Rexiel and Steel’s moment of affection, and it takes even more effort for Crowley not to squawk. Thankfully, they seem too preoccupied to have noticed them.

‘’I think our plan worked a little too well.’’ Crowley whispers to Aziraphale.

‘’You don’t say.’’ Aziraphale says, matching the demon's volume. He turns his gaze away nervously. ‘’We should probably go and leave them for now.’’

‘’Hold on, you were the one who said we should be with them to be sure they’re safe and now you want to go?’’ Crowley turns his head towards Aziraphale.

‘’It was different before, they weren’t- I mean, this feels like a breach of privacy. I’d prefer if we leave them for now and talk to them about this later.’’

Crowley opens his mouth to say something, but before he could say anything the pair hears something that freezes them both into place.

Rexiel pulls away slightly from Steel and sighs. ‘’Oh my goodness, You cannot comprehend how much I’ve missed this.’’ The Principality and the Serpent snap their heads back to the scene with wide eyes.

Steel chuckles, ‘’I think I have a good idea how much. Do you regret the deal we made yet?’’

‘’Oh, absolutely not.’’ Rexiel purrs. ‘’Don’t get me wrong, this job is a lot of fun. I just wish we had more time for ourselves to go on dates.’’

‘’Yeah, I'd like that too. When was the last time we went out together anyway? Feels like forever.’’

‘’It was last month, dear heart. it’s not that long ago for beings such as ourselves.’’

‘’Speak for yourself.’’ Steel looks up at Rexiel and the two burst into a fit of laughter before closing the space between them once again and giving each other a soft kiss.

Crowley and Aziraphale cannot believe their eyes, and even less their ears. This familiarity that the two other supernatural beings are displaying to each other, the soft glances and touches. They Know each other—with a capital K—for longer than they’ve previously let on, and they are dating? The hidden angel and demon aren’t sure which is the most surprising.

The couple pulls away once again and Steel asks, ‘’Shouldn’t we try to find where the other two went while we were busy? Our bosses won’t like that if they knew we were slacking off.’’

‘’Aziraphale and Crowley are going to be fine for a few hours.’’ Rexiel reassures the demon. ‘’We will find them eventually. They most likely wanted some time for each other. That‘s why they organized this little date for us, remember?’’

Steel’s eyebrows furrow and he frowns, ‘’There’s still something that feels off about all of this. Why was the first idea they got was to leave us on a date? It’s obvious they know something is up.’’

Rexiel puts his hands on both sides of Steel’s face and leans forward so that their forehead touches. ‘’Did you see how clueless they are about each other’s feelings? There’s not a chance they would see through our bluff, love. You have nothing to worry about.’’

Aziraphale doesn’t know how to feel about this. What do they mean by clueless about each other’s feelings? Do they know something that he doesn’t know about Crowley? Many thoughts race in his mind and he doesn’t notice that he took a few steps backward until his back bumps into something. It’s a trash can, and his movement tips it over and falls to the ground in a loud crash.

Steel and Rexiel almost jump out of their skin at the noise and turn their head towards the culprit. Crowley mentally swears as they are now spotted. The two couples stare at each other with mute horror and worry.

It’s Rexiel who breaks the silence with an embarrassed laugh, ‘’How long have the two of you been standing there?’’

‘’Long enough.’’ Crowley grunts, walking out of his hiding spot to be in full view of the other angel and demon. His shadow looms menacingly and he snaps his fingers upward. ‘’The two of you get in the car. There’s a lot that we have to talk about.’’

Chapter Text

The Bentley was waiting for them at the entrance of the alleyway. The ride back to the bookshop is quiet and awkward, with the lovers in the back and Aziraphale in the passenger seat. The only sounds around them are those of the wheels rubbing on the pavement.

After they arrive at their destination, the four of them walk into the shop and into the backroom. Rex and Steel are demanded to sit on the sofa while Aziraphale sits in his usual seat and Crowley is standing right beside him and glaring down at the other angel and demon. 

Aziraphale miracles a few cups of tea into existence and gives them to both of his guests. Steel grimaces at it before gesturing a hand over his cup, and the content of the cup magically transforms into coffee with a dash of whiskey. ‘’I’m not really a tea kind of gal.’’

‘’That’s fine.’’ Aziraphale says.

To the Principality’s surprises, Rexiel takes the cup in his hands and drinks from it. After a moment, Rexiel lowers his cup back on the desk beside the sofa and sighs. ‘’It must have been… quite the shock to see the two of us in that situation.’’

‘’It was.’’ Crowley crosses his arms and tries to look intimidating but ends up looking more grumpy. ‘’And we have some questions for you. It would be in your best interest to answer them.’’

Steel sighs, ‘’Shoot.’’

‘’So we know now that you two have known each other way before you started to monitor us. We also know that you guys are dating. There’s no point in hiding that anymore.’’ Crowley leans forward and says, ‘’But what I want to know is how the hell did a demon from Espionage and an angel from the HR department of all place were able to meet in the first place.’’

Steel and Rexiel look into each other’s eyes for a moment, a silent conversation being shared between the two of them. Rexiel nods, Steel turns back to Crowley and says, ‘’Yeah, about that . We lied.’’

Crowley blinks. ‘’What?’’

‘’What do you mean you’ve lied? Why would you do such a thing?’’ Aziraphale asks with furrowed eyebrows.

‘’Look, there’s a few things we just couldn’t share with you, but since the cat is out of the bag it might be time to tell you.’’ Steel takes a deep breath before he says, ‘’Rex and I are… Heaven and Hell’s representative on Earth.’’

A moment passes, then another, and finally Aziraphale says, ‘’That’s not possible. We are Earth’s representative, or at least we used to be.’’

‘’Unless our previous offices have already replaced us.’’ Crowley adds.

‘’Far from it.’’ Steel says, ‘’You’re not the only representative on Earth. There are others, all running around blessing and damning mortals all around the world.’’

Aziraphale shakes his head in disbelief, ‘’How is that even possible? If there are others, we would have known of their presence by now’’

‘’You wouldn’t. It’s something our bosses made sure of. They think it wouldn’t be efficient to have other representatives know of the other’s presence, that it would be ‘too distracting’ to know we had friends or colleagues on the job. At least that’s what we believe is happening. Something, something, we would be more focused on the job.’’

Rexiel continues Steel’s explanation, ‘’While you and Crowley were the official representatives as you’ve been stationed on Earth since the garden, there are a pair of unofficial representatives for each continent. Mostly due to humanity’s rapid expansion and the fact that the two of you can’t be everywhere all at once. Haven’t you noticed your past work kept you more often in Europe as time goes by than they take you to other parts of the world?’’

‘’Exactly what he said.’’ Steel says as Aziraphale and Crowley think about what Rexiel just said, ‘’For exemple, we are the representative of America. I’ve been on Earth for the past, uh, three thousand years? Rex arrived three years after that, and it took us about two hundred years before we realized that we weren’t the only ones on this floating rock. We just never told our bosses what we knew.’’

Aziraphale tilts his head. ‘’Two hundred years? Does that mean you’ve met the others?’’

‘’We did.’’ Rexiel nods, ‘’We try to see each other every month if we can to spend time together.’’

‘’Except for the last few months because, you know, Armageddon.’’ Steel adds, ‘’We were all ready to hide somewhere and wait it out. But you guys stopped it. So, thank you for that, even if that means you’ve been fired from your offices.’’

It’s like a weight is lifted off of their shoulders and the tension dissipates from the room. Crowley and Aziraphale can’t be more glad to hear this. It’s a relief to know they are not the only ones who love Earth like they do. Now in retrospect, the other two must have found it very funny that the Principality and the Serpent tried to teach them about the wonderful things this planet has to offer when they already knew all that, but had to pretend they didn’t.

Crowley points a finger at them and says, ‘’It would have been more convenient if we had met earlier.’’

Rexiel gives him a slightly guilty smile, ‘’Well, we wanted to, but you were the official representative at the time, which meant that our respective offices kept a closer eye on you than us. We didn’t want to risk being found out and reported back.’’

‘’That’s completely understandable.’’ Aziraphel says with a soothing smile. ‘’I’m curious, but how did you two first meet? Crowley and I met in the garden, obviously, but I’m wondering how you ended up where you are today?’’

Rexiel and Steel once again look at each other awkwardly, the demon’s face wince while Rexiel says, ‘’Should we?...’’

After a moment, Steel sighs, ‘’They already know we’re dating, they might as well know the whole truth. Besides, it might be easier for them to follow the story from this point on.’’ When Steel sees Aziraphale and Crowley’s confused expression, he looks back and carefully says, ‘’So, there might be another thing that we lied to you about that you should know. As you already know, we were sent here to keep an eye on you… but originally, I was supposed to monitor Aziraphale, while he monitors Crowley.’’

Crowley’s heartbeat races in his chest and he feels himself sweating, which is an accomplishment since his corporation isn’t supposed to be able to do that. Aziraphale feels similarly the same, worry and fear coursing through his mind as they hear him say these words.

‘’Why would Hell want to monitor Aziraphale?’’ Crowley asks, ‘’And why does Heaven want to know what I’m doing?’’

Steel looks him in the eye, and after a moment of silence he says, ‘’They don’t.’’

Rexiel raises his hand up and snaps his fingers. Crowley and Aziraphale’s face change from confusion to realization as they witness the metamorphosis happening in front of them.

Steel’s clothes start to change color. His leather jacket stays black, but his turtleneck and skirt turns a lighter purple, closer to violet. Patterns of feathers appear on the skirt like embroidery. He raises a hand up and brushes away the ashes from his hair, leaving them in its original brown color. Then, he lowers his hand to his eyepatch and takes it off to reveal behind it a golden eye, contrasting with his other dark brown one.

Unlike Steel, the colors of Rexiel’s clothes and nails bleed away, the white turns to black and the yellow turns to a deep burgundy. His round glasses frame turns black as well and it twists and bends so that they take a more square-ish form. He takes out a compact mirror from his pockets as his painted lips turn blood red. He opens his mouth, bearing out his teeth, reaches a hand to one of his canines and starts to play with it. After a few seconds of struggle, something falls into his hand, a golden cap that used to protect the front of the tooth. He does the same with the other tooth until both caps are off, leaving predatory, sharp, white fangs like a fox's teeth.

Crowley’s jaw drops, ‘’H-Hold on! The two of you have switched?!’’

‘’Yep.’’ Steel says as he crosses his arms.

Aziraphale’s eyes are wide as he says, ‘’But, why?’’

‘’Why not?’’ Rexiel replies with a shrug.

‘’Aren’t you worried that your bosses would find out you did this?’’

Rexiel, the newly revealed demon, shakes his head. ‘’As long as the job is done, they don’t check to see if we did it the right way. I’m sure you’ve noticed that by now.’’

‘’I think we should just make a few things clear.’’ The other angel says, ‘’Hi, my name is Juno. Junoel if you have a stick up your ass, and yeah I’m actually an angel. Hard the believe for some people when they meet me though.’’

‘’Why Steel?’’ Crowley asks, clearly showing his priorities at the moment. ‘’I mean, why didn’t you just modify your name a bit instead? Why go for a different sounding name instead of Junt of Furno? Would be easier to remember it’s your alias if you ask me.’’

‘’Steel is the last name I chose for myself to blend in with humans. It already sounds like a cool sounding demon name and some people already call me Steel so it was easier to remember.’’ Juno puts a hand into his pocket and retrieves a wallet. From it he takes out a card and shows it to Crowley. It’s a business card, on which is written in bold ‘ Juno Steel, Private Investigator .’

The Serpent snorts with amusement at the card. ‘’Huh, I knew those deductions skills didn’t come from nowhere.’’ Then, he leans back and turns to the other demon. ‘’What about you? What’s your actual name?’’

‘Rexiel’ blinks at him before he laughs. ‘’Oh but what is a name but a signifier for your senses? A sound that means a smell? A feeling, a taste?’’

‘’Just answer the damn question.’’ Crowley says irritated.

‘’Hmm, I’m afraid I don’t tell anyone my real name.’’ The fox demon says, ‘’I only tell it to very special people, and the two of you are certainly not quite that yet. I’m not only a demon, I’m also a shapeshifter, I change monikers as quickly as the wind blows.’’

‘’Well we need to call you something! Can’t just call you Rexiel now that we know that’s not your actual name.’’

The other demon hums and taps a finger on his chin thoughtfully. ‘’Well you can keep on calling me Rex like you used to as it doesn’t bother me, or you can always call me by my work name, Ransom .’’

‘’Ransom, that’s strange. That name seems familiar…’’ Crowley squints his eyes at him for a moment before something clicks. ‘’Oh, no, you’re the Nameless Thief?’’

‘’The Nameless Thief?’’ Aziraphale turns to Crowley.

‘’In the past eighty years, there’s been talk of a master thief in the circles that I used to frequent, an individual who was able to pull extravagant heists all around the world and no one has ever been able to catch him or get his name. He’s been given the moniker of the Nameless Thief, but one of his calling cards is that he leaves a piece of paper with only ‘Ransom’ typed on it. Theories over the years thought Ransom was an organisation, or that there were copycats.’’

Ransom gives them a mischievous smile. ‘’I’m afraid I’m one of a kind in that situation.’’

‘’That would explain the thieving, then.’’ Aziraphale adds.

‘’What can I say? I have expensive tastes.’’

Juno clears his throat and raises a finger. ‘’Do you still want to know how we met each other? I want to warn you two it’s kind of a long story.’’

‘’Well, I would love to hear it if you are comfortable telling it to Juno.’’ Aziraphale says as he rests his hands on his knees.

Juno turns his head to Ransom again, and the demon’s eyes soften. ‘’Go ahead, love, I do enjoy a good story.’’

Juno sighs in relief and reaches down to hold his lover’s hand. He then turns back to Crowley and Aziraphale and says. ‘’Alright, where to start.’’

Like I said, I was sent on Earth three thousand years ago to the American continent as Heaven’s representative. I didn’t know why they chose me of all people since I was more of a warrior. However Micheal, my direct supervisor, told me that they wanted me stationed in advance since they had big plans for that piece of land. And for the first three years, everything was fine, boring even.

Then one day, I was passing near a Native American’s settlement and the people there looked… agitated. I approached them to ask if everything was alright. They explained to me that a lot of strange things happened in their village. A few of their sacred spiritual instruments have been stolen, the water from the nearest stream became red like blood, forcing them to walk further away for water, and the fur they brought back from their latest hunts were stuck to trees.

The shaman believed that it was the work of a trickster spirit, and having a feeling it was the work of a demon I told him I would help them get rid of that entity.

I patrolled their settlement that night and for the first few hours I didn’t see anything, but then I saw a movement in the corner of my eye. A shadow of a tall humanoid figure disappeared behind a wigwam, so I naturally followed it to see where he would go. I ended up spotting him near the settlement’s crops and with a basket he picked them up to steal them. 

‘’Hey, stop right!’’ I screamed at him. That was enough for him to drop the basket, but he only smiled at me before he ran into the forest.

I ran after him, determined to banish this demon back to hell, but he was faster than me. I could hear his laugh echoing through the forest as we ran.

‘’You’ll have to do better than this if you wish to catch me, little angel!’’ He said to me before he started to run on all fours, transforming himself into a fox. After that, he jumped high in the air and into the trees, that’s how I lost him the first time.

He didn’t come back to that settlement, but it wasn't the last time I saw him. This became a game of cat and mouse that went on for one thousand years. He would go cause trouble somewhere, I stop him, I chase after him as he flees. I was never able to catch him, he’s always been faster than me.

But then, I find him again… and he doesn’t run away this time. Instead, he turned around and asked, ‘’You know, we’ve been doing this for a thousand years, but I don’t believe I know your name. What may I call you, delicate flower?’’

Of course, I didn’t trust him one bit, but I told him my name anyway. ‘’My name is Juno.’’

‘’Juno? That doesn’t sound like a conventionally celestial name.’’

‘’Okay, technically it’s Junoel, but… I prefer Juno.’’

‘’...Juno it is then. Lovely name.’’

But when I asked him what I could call him, he only gave me the same cryptic talk he gave to you when you asked about his name.

‘’My name? Well, my name can be heard throught the wind when you run away from trouble. It is shared with every lie mankind tells, and you can find it in your most beautiful dreams.’’

‘’That doesn’t tell me what your name actually is, moron.’’

‘’But isn’t that more fun? I thought you’d like a good mystery.’’

So on top of the game of cat and mouse, we also had moments of banter like that. Just to clarify, I still didn’t like him at the time, and I think the only reason why he was interacting with me was because I amused him.

‘’It’s just strange, isn’t it? You are an angel, and yet you are not very angel-like appart from your very attractive moral outrage. I’m sure that if you were to ask every human on Earth to tell us who between the two of us is the angel, they would point to me more often than you.’’ I believe that was the reason he gave me, I dunno.

Then a few centuries later, the Europeans decided to settle a bit everywhere on the continent, and after a few decades since their arrival, well… I got into trouble.

For the longest time, I’ve only interacted with the Native Americans, so I quickly learned how different other human cultures were when I was told to do a blessing in one of their settlements. 

I’m still mad about it to this day and it’s for a really dumb reason. I got into trouble because of my corporation’s skin color… So a few men thought I ‘escaped’ and tried not too nicely to bring me back to the market. That’s when he appeared at the entrance of the alleyway we were in.

‘’Gentlemen, is that any way to treat a lady? No, I do not want any excuses. You will leave him alone and walk away, completely forgetting what happened here today. And if I see you again trying to manhandle people in such a way… Well, I can’t guarantee what will happen to you.’’

He saved me. He just appeared on a beam of starlight to get me out of there. I wasn’t very grateful at the time, how could I be? It was embarrassing to be saved by a demon. But he didn’t seem offended. He didn’t ask anything in return, he just held me close while we were walking the streets to where I was supposed to make my benediction just to keep me safe.

After I performed the blessing, he pulled me aside and whispered something into my ear.

‘’What is that?’’ I said.

‘’My name. My true name. If you’re ever in trouble, dear, call it and I shall come to you.’’

After that, we kept seeing more and more of each other. A lot of our jobs were in the same areas, so Ransom made a habit of finding me and striking up conversations.

As the years went by, I just got used to his presence. Even if he is a demon, he’s good company along with the other representatives that I’ve met up with over the centuries. We stopped our pursuit games, and instead exchanged them for quality time together. We would drink alcohol together and we hung out at one or the other’s house, we did a lot of stuff together.

Juno looks back to Ransom with a small smile and says, ‘’Eventually, I discovered that I fell in love with that demon, and I would later learn that he felt the same way too.’’ Ransom smiles back and lifts their linked hands to his lips to kiss the angel’s fingertips.

Aziraphale puts a hand on his chest and sighs happily. ‘’My goodness, what a wonderful love story you two have.’’

‘’Yeah.’’ Crowley says, ‘’But how were you two able to hide your relationship from your bosses? We know they eventually found out about Aziraphale and I’s partnership, It must be even harder to hide a relationship.’’

Juno shrugs at him, ‘’When we figured out each other’s feelings, we knew that having a relationship was possible since we know a pair of representative who got married in secret to each other.’’ Aziraphale looks at him with a slack jaw and Crowley lets out a small ‘hnk’ in surprise. ‘’But I was still unsure about the logistics at the time. I was afraid we would be caught one day. So we decided to devise a dating plan. Ransom would disguise himself as a new person every few months and start to romance me as if we just met for the first time. Meanwhile, I would act like a… Um, Ransom? What’s that term that Rita likes to use when I do that?’’

‘’A tsundere, love.’’

‘’Yeah, that. I would act like a tsundere when we were in public spaces.’’

Crowley nods, ‘’That’s why you were so comfortable pretending to not know each other. You had practice.’’

‘’Does this really work for you two?’’ Aziraphale asks, twisting his pinky ring.

‘’It does, actually.’’ Juno replies, ‘’Head Offices came to see me about it once. They had photos of me hanging out with Ransom, but they didn’t know he was a demon with how good the disguises were. All I had to do was tell them that I wasn’t affected by my suitors, that human feelings come and go, and the ‘person’ will give up eventually and move on, that it’s the kindest action I could do, bla bla bla. And the suckers bought it.’’

‘’I see. And how long have the two of you officially been together?’’

‘’Since 1973.’’ Ransom says, ‘’We are still very much in the honeymoon phase if you know my meaning.’’

‘’Yeah, that’s the short version of how we met and lived so far.’’ Juno waves his hand in a circular motion. ‘’Then Armageddon failed, and a few months later the Archangel Michael came down to my office in Boston to tell me I’ve been ‘promoted’ to watch you, Aziraphale. Lets just say I wasn’t very happy about it.’’

Ransom adds, ‘’Coincidentally, I also got promoted as well. So I went to Juno’s apartment to tell him about it. When we learned we both shared the same mission, we decided to prepare ourselves together to go to London. However, Juno expressed that he wasn’t sure if he would enjoy this new job as he described Aziraphale as, I quote, ‘A boring, stuffy looking guy’. I admit to similarly not being too fond of Crowley as my mark at first, so Juno proposed the idea that we switch who we were supposed to tail and write the other’s reports. That’s why we decided to switch and present ourselves as our opposite nature. I made sure that both of our costumes were perfect, from the clothes to the makeup, to even our own smell to sell the illusion, and clearly it worked as you didn’t even have a clue.’’

It’s true that they even smell different now. Crowley smells the air and instead of week’s old pasta, Juno now smells like dahlias. As for Ransom, his smell changed from sweet to spicy, with a slight hint of brimstone.

‘’Wait, did you really do all of that because you thought we were boring?’’ Crowley asks as he glares at him.

Ransom gives him a polite smile. ‘’I can assure you Crowley that we don’t think either of you are boring.’’

‘’Anymore.’’ Juno adds.

Ransom shrugs, ‘’In the end, we got a nice experience out of this.’’

For a moment, the room is silent as the two pairs aren’t sure what to say next. There is a lot that has been unpacked here, with so much information that just spins around in their heads like dirty laundry in a washing machine, or whatever things go round.

Aziraphale is the first to break the silence, ‘’So…’’

‘’So?’’ Juno replies.

‘’What now?’’

‘’I suppose that since everything is out in the open now, and that judging by your routine you guys don’t intend to attack Heaven or Hell anytime soon, our job here is done.’’

Aziraphale presses his lips together with uncertainty. ‘’As much as I’m happy to hear that, what will you tell your superiors?’’

Ransom answers this one, ‘’Well, we’re going to give them everything we know, and by everything we mean every action you made in the past few weeks. I believe the amount of extra work will only annoy them, so we might be able to make them reconsider that their decision to watch you 24/7 is not as efficient and that our time could be better served working to push their influence on the American continent further.’’

‘’And who knows.’’ Juno smirks, ‘’Maybe we could negotiate a visit once every few months to hang out.’’

‘’That would be fantastic.’’ Aziraphale smiles with relief.

Ransom stands from the couch first and says, ‘’I believe the two of you deserve some time for yourselves after all of this. If there are no other questions for us, I think we are ready to go.’’

‘’Oh, of course.’’ Aziraphale stands up as well and links his hands together. ‘’It has been a pleasure to have you here.’’

‘’Yeah, pleasure.’’ Crowley adds with a shrug.

Juno stands up and the four entities walk out from the backroom. He turns to Aziraphale for a moment and says, ‘’Oh, before I forget, we’re going to talk with the other representatives and tell them what happened. Knowing them, they might not trust you the same way we trust you, but maybe one day you guys could meet the rest of the gang. It would be nice to hang out again.’’

‘’That would be lovely.’’ Aziraphale smiles. ‘’Well, I suppose this is goodbye.’’

‘’It is, for now.’’ Ransom grins. ‘’It’s certainly not the last you’ll see of us.’’

‘’Hopefully it’s not.’’ Crowley says. He then turns to Juno and says, ‘’Try to not miracle into my car by surprise next time, alright?’’

Juno shakes his head and snorts. ‘’I’m not making any promises. See you later, guys.’’

Aziraphale nods and Crowley salut them as they watch the couple walk toward the front door holding hands. They watch Juno and Ransom go as they slowly disappear from view and into the night.

Crowley puts his hands into his almost non-existant pockets and turns to Aziraphale. ‘’One hell of a month, heh?’’

‘’Yes, it’s almost been an entire month, hasn’t it?’’ Aziraphale says, unsure if he should smile that this whole ordeal is done, or frown from it being already over. ‘’What do you think of all of this? New representatives on Earth, more relationships between angels and demons?’’

Crowley blows a raspberry into the air. ‘’It’s either going to make things much simpler for us, or more complicated. I think I’m going to bed for now, I deserve a few months of sleep.’’

Aziraphale is about to say something, but he immediately bites his lips. Perhaps it wasn’t the right time to talk about the future quite yet. There will be other times soon, the angel rationalizes, He will ask him one day.

‘’Of course, Crowley. Good night.’’

The demon looks at him for a moment before he says with a corner smile, ‘’It was fun spending time with you again, we should do that more often. See you in March, angel.’’

Crowley then walks to the door and exits the bookshop. He lingers on the porch for a moment before he makes his way to the Bentley. Aziraphale is alone in the bookshop as he watches his friend drive away.

He sighs as he looks up at the ceiling. So much happened in a short period of time. He’s never been this exhausted since Armageddon. 

Armageddon, he thinks, Crowley did say that perhaps one day humanity will have to stand up against both the forces of Heaven and Hell. If that is the case, he’s glad to know that they would have more allies that would be willing to fight by their side when the moment comes. And who knows what troubles will come for the ineffable duo in the future.