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Ashes O’Reilly has a security item.
It’s their favorite hat and they’ve had it since they were a child. It belonged to one of their parents, but that’s not really important. What’s important is that without that specific hat, they just feel…wrong.
Obviously, it’s a secret. The others would never give them a break if they knew.
So why can’t they find it?
They’ve been frantically searching for…how long has it even been? They checked their room first, and that was for maybe…an hour or two? Their sense of time has always been shit, but it was long enough for them to check everywhere it could be. And then everywhere it couldn’t be. Several times over.
Whatever. It was long enough for them to be absolutely sure that the hat is not in their room and they don’t know where it is where the FUCK could it possibly be?
“Just calm down, Ashes”, they mutter to themself. “Where did you have it last?”
“I don’t know where I had it last that’s why I’m still fucking looking . Great, I’m arguing with myself now.”
Ashes lets out a small, slightly hysterical “ha!”
“Don’t let Marius catch you, I guess.”
They take a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to reorient themself. “It’s fine, it’s fine, just…just pick a place and check it.”
Ashes thinks for a few seconds as their fingers flutter anxiously.
“Umm, living room”, they decide finally and start making their way across the ship. They pass a few other Mechanisms on their way: Nastya, who is moving swiftly and carrying a wrench, and Brian, who offers Ashes a smile and then a concerned look when they ignore him.
A minute later, they reach the living room and look around, taking stock. No one else is there, which is a relief, but there’s stuff all over the place. Pillows and blankets and beanbags litter the floor and there’s just as much random shit on the tables: one of the Toy Soldier’s teacups, random hair accessories from Tim, a pair of Brian’s drumsticks, a handful of screws that are probably Nastya’s, and a clipboard covered with Marius’s doodles. One of the tables has been entirely dedicated to one of Ivy’s art projects, a semi-finished painting of a waterfall. A few of Jonny’s belts are draped over the back of the couch and, as always, Raphaella’s feathers are scattered all over the room.
Ashes sighs and begins searching, turning over pillows and tossing aside blankets. “No. Nope. Not here. Under this, perhaps. Fuck.” Nothing.
They hear footsteps behind them and sigh loudly, hoping to disguise their anxiety with annoyance. “Hi Tim. Here to kill me? If you are, fuck off, I’m busy. If not, fuck off, I’m busy.”
“Busy doing what?” Tim sits on the couch.
“None of your business, that’s what”, Ashes snaps. They check under yet another blanket how many blankets are in this fucking room . Nothing.
“God FUCKING-”, Ashes explodes. They whip around and throw the blanket at the couch as hard as they can. It hits Tim square in the face.
“HEY”, Tim yells from under the blanket. He yanks it off and glares at Ashes. “What the hell?”
“Sorry. You were in the way”, they say through clenched teeth, not sounding the least bit sorry (and not really intending to, either). WHERE, they scream internally. WHERE IS IT?! WHERE COULD IT FUCKING BE?!
They realize that Tim is staring at them. “What do you want, you troglodyte fuck”, they snap. Maybe if they’re mean enough he’ll leave them alone.
“Brian was right, you are on edge.”Tim raises an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“Again, none of your business”, Ashes says frostily. “Now, are you just gonna sit there staring at me? Because if you are-“
“Yeah, I know, fuck off, you’re busy”, Tim says with an eye roll. His mechanism wrrrs audibly as he sizes them up.
“Brian sent me down here”, he says finally. “He wanted me to check on you.”
“Why, because I’m ‘on edge’?”, they say with air quotes. “Well, I’m fine. You can leave now.”
Tim hmms. “Mmm, no, I don’t think so”, he decides.
Ashes hisses. “Fine, whatever, just stay out of my way.”
“Maybe I could stay out of your way better if you told me what you were doing”, Tim says casually.
“Nosy today, aren’t we”, Ashes says nastily, resuming their task of checking under and then tossing aside pillows.
“No need to be rude.” Tim sounds offended. “I’m not being nosy, just want to know what’s up. You’re clearly looking for something”, he adds. “So what is it?”
Ashes stops short. Maybe they should tell him about their hat. He might even be helpful. But what if he tells someone, part of them worries. What if he tells everyone you know Jonny would steal it just for fun and Marius would take it to get you to go to his stupid goddamn therapy sessions and Raphaella-
“I’m looking for my hat”, Ashes blurts out before the voice in their head can come up with any more situations. “It’s my favorite hat, and I looked everywhere in my room, and I don’t know where it could be, but it’s gotta be somewhere and I don’t…I don’t know where….” Ashes trails off as their nose starts prickling. Shit. Don’t start crying, dammit. They turn their face away from Tim, trying to hide the fact that their eyes are tearing up. “If-if you’re not gonna help me-“
Tim stands up, walks over to Ashes, and gives them a hug, cutting off their sentence. They hesitate before leaning into the hug.
They’re not usually one for physical touch, but…it’s kinda nice that he’s trying to comfort them. Ashes buries their face in Tim’s shoulder and takes shaky breaths until they manage to get their emotions back under control.
After a bit, Ashes pulls away, wiping at their eyes and blinking rapidly, trying to avoid looking at Tim. Thankfully, he backs off, sitting back down on the couch.
“Feel better?”, he asks.
“Not really.”
“Oh.”
An awkward silence falls over the two of them. Ashes sits down on a beanbag and pulls their knees to their chest. You’re never gonna find it, a voice in their head says matter-of-factly, and Ashes feels like crying again.
Tim eventually speaks. “I know where it is.”
“What?” Ashes looks at him. He’s eying them cautiously.
“I know where your hat is”, Tim says, and Ashes immediately leaps to their feet.
“Where”, they demand.
Tim stands up hurriedly. “I can get-”, he begins, but Ashes cuts him off.
“Gunpowder Tim, where the FUCK is my hat?!”
Tim winces at their raised voice and his hands fly to his ears. “ I’ll take you to it; there’s no need to yell!”
“Just fucking tell me where it is!”
“ You’d never find it by yourself! ”
“Oh, I doubt that.”
“It’s true”, Tim insists. “Jonny took it, said he knew a spot you’d never even consider looking.”
“Jonny has six hiding places and five of them are under his bed.”
Tim cautiously removes his hands from his ears. “Well, now he has seven hiding places. And it’s not under his bed.”
Ashes takes a moment to process the situation. Tim seems pretty determined to not just tell them where to find their hat. That’s…great. Just awesome. Spec-f ucking -tacular.
What are their options? They could keep threatening him, which doesn’t seem likely to yield good results. (Damn, they sound like Raphaella, talking about “yielding results” and shit. Or Ivy; Ivy’s pretty science, too. Science is more Raph’s thing, though. Gah. Focus, guy)
Um. Right, they can keep threatening Tim, which probably won’t work. Or they can…ask him to show them where it is.
Ashes frowns.
How much do we trust him? Can we do that without seeming…I dunno, desperate?
I think we’re a bit beyond worrying about looking desperate at this point. You yelled in his face, they point out.
They make a face. Ugh. “Fine.”
Tim, who’s been fiddling with his fingers, snaps back to attention. “Wh-oh!” He offers them a smile.
“Ok, so you wait here, and I’ll-“
“ Hell no. I’m coming with you.”
Tim’s mouth drops open. “Wait, what? Why, what do you mean?”
Ashes raises an eyebrow. “It’s my hat, fuckwit. I’m going with you.”
“I can’t”, Tim protests. “If Jonny found out I told you-”
“I don’t care. However bad Jonny is, I can be much worse and you know it.”
Tim opens his mouth, probably to argue more, but Ashes gives him their “this is not up for discussion” glare.
He glares at them. They glare even harder. Finally, he breaks eye contact with a loud, very annoyed sigh.
“Follow me”, he says grouchily.
He turns toward the door and Ashes lets out a quiet breath of relief.
Tim leads them down the hall. The two of them walk in silence. At one point, they pass Nastya, who looks quite pleased with herself. Ashes notes that her wrench has blood on one end. Nastya turns a corner and Tim and Ashes exchange a look.
“Whose blood d’you think-”
“Probably Jonny.”
“Yeah, probably.”
And with that, they continue on, eventually reaching the door to Jonny’s room.
Tim pauses and looks at Ashes. “Um. So. You really need to stay here.”
“ Tim-”
“I know, I know”, he says hurriedly. “I really, really can’t tell you about this hiding place. I can go in and get it, but you have to stay here.”
Ashes stares daggers at Tim, and he cringes away from them slightly. “Please don’t yell at me”, he says quietly.
Ashes closes their eyes. Shit. Things can’t just be easy, can they?
They sigh. I hate this. I hate this a lot. Hm. Why do I hate this? Is it because I don’t like not being in control of a situation? Probably something like that. I don’t like to feel helpless. Well. That got introspective rather quickly. Who needs Marius, ha.
They take one last breath and open their eyes. “Fine. Go. Be quick about it.”
Tim nods, looking relieved, and ducks into the room, leaving Ashes to wait in the hallway.
Lovely.
They sit with their back to the wall and fish their lighter out of their pocket. One of the ship’s various terminals blinks on and they can see a message from Aurora on it:
-𝙸’𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎.
Ashes smiles a bit and types back:
- 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢, 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚍𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑. 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚎𝚕
- 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸’𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎.
- 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛
The door opens and Ashes turns to see Tim holding their hat, which he holds out to them. They snatch it from him and cram it on their head.
“Feel better now?”, he asks.
“Yes”, they say with a nod. “Uh. Thanks.”
Tim turns to leave and Ashes has a sudden flash of shit, what if he tells other people.
“Um!”
Tim turns. “Yeah?”
Ashes swallows. “Um. Could, uh, could you not…could you not tell anyone about this, please?”
Well now that you’ve explicitly said something he’s definitely gonna know that it means a lot to you and now he’s oh shit now he’s got blackmail on you that was a stupid stupid move Ashes-
“Alright”, Tim says.
“Wh-just like that? I don’t even have to blackmail you or anything?”
He shrugs. “Nope. I’m not ignorant, Ashes. It clearly means a lot to you.”
“Okay”, they say, relieved. Tim gives them a weird look. “Um. Thank you?”
“What blackmail do you have on me?”
Huh.
“You don’t wanna know.”
Tim pouts. “Yes I do.”
Ashes smirks. “If you insist.”
They lean in and motion for Tim to do the same. He leans toward them, looking slightly like he knows he’ll regret it.
“I know what happened on Regieon 7”, they say in a low voice and he jerks away, eyes wide.
“You-you can’t possibly…prove it”, he demands.
Ashes grins. “Oh, I could. But you know, Tim, the walls have ears. And I don’t think you want Nastya knowing.”
Tim drops his head into his hands and makes a noise of despair. Ashes can’t help but feel sorry for the guy and they awkwardly reach out to pat his shoulder.
“Hey, it’s fine. You keep my secret, I keep yours, yeah?”
Tim makes another noise and gives them a muffled “yeah...”
Ashes smiles and pats him again. “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some payback to plot.”
And with that, Ashes turns and walks away with ideas about how to get back at Jonny already spinning through their head.