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yoongi is definitely drunk when he mumbles, "who's the hottie on the drums." he would never use the term 'hottie' sober. the drummer has been going for a solid seven minutes straight, and the other two members look a little confused, bouncing weakly to the beat waiting for him to finish. yoongi assumes it's another unplanned drum solo. there have been four since he got his first shot.
"you can buy him a beer," the bartender offers. someone - a regular - three stools away comments that it happens all the time. another guy at the counter adds, in a tone that yoongi immediately decides he hates, that usually the band member will come and give you a special thanks.
he doesn't want that, but he impulsively agrees and buys the drummer both a beer and a shot, since yoongi can't know his preferences. making decisions drunk is never a good idea, and he only regrets it more when the set ends and someone takes the purchased drinks up to their recipient. the guy follows the bartender's finger, pointing to yoongi, and waves towards him with the beer in hand, wearing the biggest, cutest goddamn smile yoongi has ever seen.
he pays his tab and leaves before the drummer can get off stage.
x
"who was the cute guy at the bar who ran out after buying you a drink?" jimin asks while hoseok is packing up his drum kit, watching namjoon accept shots from some of their 'fans' that jimin often complains like namjoon a little too much.
"never seen him," hoseok admits, glancing up to see jimin frowning across the stage at their keyboardist and rapper. their band isn't really meant to have a rapper, everything namjoon does sounding out of place in the midst of their shitty indie rock tracks, but, namjoon likes to rap and jimin likes namjoon so, they get to do whatever they want.
"he was kind of weird and kept staring at you," jimin perks up when namjoon finishes their free drinks and walks over to them, sweeping in to give jimin's cheek a sloppy kiss, catching the corner of her mouth, before continuing on back stage. once jimin, blushing, recovers, she finishes, "you should get his number next time."
"next time what?" hoseok snorts, "you should tell namjoon you're in love with them."
jimin doesn't answer his question, the color in her cheeks darkening at the accusation, "i'm not in love with them."
"yeah, you are," it's clear as day to literally everyone but namjoon.
"so what?" her smile disappears and hoseok feels a little bad, "i'm going home."
"i'm your ride," hoseok reminds her, "and we live together."
"shut up."
x
he didn't plan on coming back, or anything, but yoongi still finds himself sitting on the same stool a week later, watching some kid jump around in a loose skirt, rapping better than a lot of the people yoongi hears on the radio, while the hot drummer follows with a fitting beat and the singer smiles fondly from the edge of the stage. the bartender catches yoongi staring at the singer stare at the rapper, and ask jovially if he'd like to buy her a drink this time.
without thinking, yoongi replies, "no, just the drummer, again."
a woman that yoongi doesn't recognize from his first visit laughs, a humorless, ugly sound and interrupts, "you sure you wanna do anything for that girlie-boy?"
the bartender mumbles a warning while yoongi smiles uncomfortably and wonders what she means, but he doesn't have to ask because she continues, "all of them, a bunch of trannies. don't even know why you let them play here."
louder, the bartender tells her to either watch her fucking mouth or leave. she glares at him and leaves the counter but not the bar, moving back to a table with three other women.
sighing, looking a strange mix of apologetic and protective, he asks, "still wanna buy him that beer?"
yoongi replies, "of course."
x
hoseok is upside down on the couch, his legs stretched out, heels against the wall, head hanging over the edge of the cushion.
"i don't think this is going to get you drunk faster," jimin comments from where she's slumped against namjoon on the loveseat, namjoon inspecting the contents of the half full bottle of rum hoseok found under his bed earlier.
"you never know until you try," hoseok defends, wiggling his toes.
they're supposed to be practicing, but, as usual, practice consists of digging around namjoon's house until they find a sufficient amount of alcohol and sitting around the basement, where hoseok lives, getting drunk and talking about shows and how they should probably practice some songs but never actually getting around to doing it.
"we did pretty well last night," namjoon says once they decide that the rum is probably safe and take a long drink.
"oppa, you finally talked to that guy, right?" hoseok and jimin dropped formalities long ago, but, she still likes to call him oppa to remind herself that she is a girl, regardless of what anyone else wants to say about her and her body.
"i did," it was a short conversation. hoseok found out that his name was yoongi. after a polite greeting and thank you, yoongi got embarrassed and ducked out before hoseok could really get to know him. the free drinks made it slightly less disappointing.
"you gonna sleep with him?" namjoon asks, way too casually, adding, when hoseok protests, "isn't that why anyone buys us drinks?"
"sometimes people are just friendly," he argues, but namjoon still pulls a condom from their pocket and throws it across the table to hoseok.
incredulous, hoseok asks, "why do you even have these?"
"just in case," they explain and jimin looks like she might cry, but downs her beer in three big gulps instead.
"in case of what? you didn't even know what sex was until you were nineteen."
"i... get around," weakly, namjoon claims that they've totally done it, and hoseok watches as jimin grows more and more uncomfortable with every word coming out of their mouth.
"just... shut up," hoseok demands, "no one's sleeping with anyone."
he doesn't add that he would probably sleep with yoongi, maybe if he got to know him a little better, thinking that yoongi is pretty good looking and, so far, quiet and nice.
he just knows that yoongi probably wouldn't want anything to do with him, if he knew.
x
the fifth time yoongi goes to see his new favorite drummer play, hoseok is the one to buy him a drink.
he gets to the bar a little too early, his day off coinciding with a show for the first time, and hoseok is sitting at his stool, laughing with the other two members (who yoongi has recently learned are named jimin and namjoon) and hoseok waves him over as soon as he catches sight of yoongi.
"hey," yoongi greets, a little awkward, accepting the beer from hoseok. jimin and namjoon mumble about rehearsing and setting up and guitar riffs and rap lyrics, excusing themselves almost immediately.
"hey," hoseok replies, much brighter and far less uncomfortable than yoongi, "i thought i'd return the favor this time."
yoongi murmurs a thank you, and takes the seat next to hoseok. they drink in an uneasy silence until hoseok asks, "i'd never noticed you before. do you come here a lot?"
more honest than he'd normally be, yoongi explains, "got dumped a block away, came here to get wasted after, saw you guys playing so i came back."
"you came back for us?"
"i like your music."
laughing happily, hoseok tells him, "no one likes our music."
yoongi takes the shot sitting in front of hoseok, downs it, and says, "i like you."
x
jimin told taehyung about the guy that totally has a crush on hoseok ("he doesn't. we're just friends. he meant as friends.") and taehyung told jungkook that someone was hot for hoseok ("he's not. he is lukewarm, at best. we're friends. we just talked for a while. we are friendly.") and namjoon never locks his door so now taehyung and jungkook are both here during practice, when they should be practicing, annoying hoseok about his 'new boyfriend' that is just his new friend.
"he's gay," hoseok relays, "he told me yesterday. talking about his ex-boyfriend."
"so?" taehyung prods, and hoseok sighs heavily. he hates these kids as much as he loves them.
"like, dick exclusive gay."
"oh, sorry, hyung."
"there will be other drunks with bad taste in music," jungkook coos, faux soothing, and jimin nudges him hard in the ribs.
"you're so mean," taehyung complains.
"i'm just honest."
hoseok doesn't want to fuel the fire, but a quiet part of him agrees. someone will love him eventually. probably. he hopes.
x
yoongi grows more comfortable each time he and hoseok share a drink, and, eventually he stops thinking about hoseok as the hot drummer and how he might ask him on a date and just thinks of them as friends .
hoseok, apparently, thinks the same and invites yoongi back to his house (namjoon's house) to watch them practice sometime.
x
practice is not what yoongi expects.
first of all, there's no practicing.
second of all, he was pretty sure that jimin and namjoon were together , with the way that namjoon smiles so softly every time they suggest the audience praise their lead singer, "jiminnie" every night and the way jimin blushes wildly and can't stop smiling when namjoon hugs her after a set. he expected them to be affectionate, the way they are on stage, or something, but they're sitting at the opposite ends of a couch arguing about types of beer. yoongi somehow got dragged into it and ended up drinking two beers, even though he's not normally a big fan of alcohol.
he didn't accept hoseok's offers of shots. hoseok looked a little surprised but didn't seem to care, shrugging and saying he would just drink enough for the both of them.
and, he does. he starts taking swigs from a bottle of vodka, and drinks at least three shots worth before yoongi asks, "are you guys going to actually play at some point?"
the three band members look at each other. namjoon plays a few discordant notes on the keyboard set up behind the couch and they simultaneously decide, "nah."
"that's cool," yoongi says, unheard as they all take a shot, toasting to a good "jam sesh".
twenty minutes and half a bottle of vodka later, hoseok has yoongi pressed against his car door, kissing him hard. yoongi decides it doesn't matter if he heard any music. it's a good night.
x
the next show, the band does really well. it's the same set yoongi's heard before, he recognizes the long ass titles he knows namjoon comes up with even if no one's told him so, but it's still totally different. it doesn't matter how often a song is played, it never sounds the same twice.
yoongi thinks it has something to do with the way they practice.
he also thinks it has something to do with hoseok's affinity for too long, unplanned drum solos. they played a two minute song for a half an hour. hoseok added three solos for himself.
no one seems to care, though. hoseok gets so hyped up, so excited about drumming, he just can't stop. no one minds as long as he's having fun, especially not yoongi.
this particular show, he's so excited, he accepts several drinks at the end of their show, consumes them all in rapid succession, and leaps off stage to meet yoongi at his new spot, a quiet booth in the back corner of the wall.
before yoongi knows what's going on, hoseok has planted himself in yoongi's lap, snaked his arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. it's their fourth, after their post "practice" makeout session, but the first in public.
yoongi thinks it's progress.
x
"hey, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" yoongi asks. it's one of the first times he's talking to hoseok sober, outside of frequent texting, catching him before the pre-show shots.
"yeah, i'll ask the girls," hoseok waves vaguely towards the stage, where jimin and namjoon are moving equipment. namjoon looks unusually pretty. jimin looks like she's melting. yoongi silently wishes her luck.
"i was thinking it could just be the two of us, this time."
hoseok is surprised but does his best to hide it, "yeah, of course. should i meet you here?"
"or," yoongi suggests, "you could come to my place."
"sure."
x
jimin is waiting for hoseok on the basement love seat when he finally comes home, near midnight.
"how'd it go?" she's smiling really big, peering at him curiously, and hoseok thinks she probably wants to talk more than he does.
"it was fine. whatever. we just hung out, played video games and talked. normal guy stuff, i guess, it was cool. yoongi's cool."
"did you guys finally do more than kiss?"
"nah, we didn't even drink."
jimin doesn't have anything to say about it, and even though hoseok is downplaying how much of a good time he has with yoongi, there's not much more to tell. they fall into comfortable silence.
eventually, softly, jimin confesses, "i told namjoon i love them."
"yeah?"
"we're, like, dating now."
"that's great," hoseok says, genuine, and jimin beams at him.
a beat later, he adds, "at least one of us is happy."
x
the tenth time hoseok kisses yoongi after a show, yoongi realizes that hoseok only does this when he's drunk.
when they're together, sober, hanging out, it's fun , but hoseok won't hold his hand or sling his arm around yoongi's neck and joke about their height difference or kiss the top of yoongi's head when yoongi gets huffy about the teasing or, kiss yoongi at all , especially not like this, hot and hard and wanting.
it makes yoongi feel insecure.
he doesn't like it.
x
namjoon is carrying jimin around on their back for no good goddamn reason, and jimin is giggling like it's the most fun she's ever had, and hoseok is pretending he's not at all jealous of their constant affection.
"aren't you are yoongi basically dating, at this point?" jimin calls from across the room, "you're together, like, every day, and you're always kissing him and stuff."
"that's just when we're drunk," hoseok grumbles back.
"well, that's when you're drunk," even when jimin tries to say that yoongi is never as drunk as hoseok, he doesn't believe her.
"what do you guys do when we're not around?" namjoon joins in the conversation, coming over to drop jimin on the couch next to hoseok, sitting down, unnecessarily close, in his opinion, to her.
"we don't even drink. we just lay on his bed and listen to music and talk about shit."
"what kind of stuff?" jimin questions, and hoseok shrugs.
"you know. our lives, music, games, the future, whatever. just stuff."
"maybe," jimin's voice drops low, like she's telling him a secret, "yoongi likes you just as much when he's sober."
"no," hoseok disagrees, "people don't like me when they're sober."
x
experimentally, yoongi, sober, kisses hoseok, sober, on the cheek.
hoseok flushes red and stutters uncomfortably and tells yoongi he has to leave, and does just that without looking back.
x
the next time yoongi sees hoseok, he's drunk again, and yoongi is letting him, even though it makes yoongi feel like shit, kiss him against the back wall of the bar after a show.
"you know, if you aren't gay, or whatever," yoongi mutters, tilting his head down so hoseok no longer has access to his lips, "you don't have to do..." he trails off, moving one of his hands vaguely between the two of them before ending, a little pathetically, "this."
even with four shots clouding his mind, hoseok is a little touched by yoongi's wording. even if yoongi doesn't know, people don't refer to anything hoseok does with another guy as 'gay' very often. even his friends, who are accepting and recognize that, if hoseok says he's a man, that he is, still consider sexuality some kind of gray area. hoseok, too. he's a male, who likes other male, and that is kind of the definition, but when he thinks too much about it, just like his friends, he starts to feel like he's just a masculine straight girl and he hates it.
so, mostly, he tries not to think about it. he just knows he's really fucking drunk and really likes kissing yoongi.
"i am," hoseok says. yoongi looks unsure but he lifts his head again, and hoseok kisses him a little more softly, a little less urgently, and it erases some of yoongi's doubts.
x
four more kisses and yoongi can't take it anymore.
"why do you only kiss me when you're drunk?"
hoseok freezes, when he hears the question.
it's not yoongi's fault, but the words 'not a real man' float through his mind. they bring on his least favorite memory. he's screaming and crying at the door, his parents burning his clothes in the backyard, two weeks before they kicked him out. they told him that he could come back when he was done pretending.
"i shouldn't have led you on," hoseok starts, softly. yoongi's face falls. he continues, "i'm... i'm transgender, and... you want a real man, and i can't be that for you. you deserve something more. you deserve more than me."
yoongi has a lot of things he wants to say. like, that it's not up to hoseok to decide what he deserves. and that he thought hoseok knew he knew. and, that he never said anything about wanting anything.
eventually, he murmurs, "you're real. you're real, and as much of a man as me."
it's the right thing to say. hoseok's wet eyes grow bright and his frown turns to a shaky smile.
he kisses yoongi. this time, with meaning.
"you're still drunk," yoongi says.
"i'll kiss you again in the morning."